Nonsense Contest!

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  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    You ever wonder how Macbeth's letter got to Iverness before him, deespite the fact that they both left at same time? Maybe they had some kind of Feudal FedEx, or something.
  • FrothybeverageFrothybeverage Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13593Members
    'Ford!'
    Ford looked up from where he was sitting in a corner humming to himself. He always found the actual travelling-through-space part of space travel rather trying.
    'Yeah?'he said.
    'If you're a researcher on this book thing and you were on Earth, you must have been gathering material on it.'
    'Well, I was able to extend the original entry a bit, yes.'
    'Let me see what it says in this edition then, I've got to see it.'
    'Yeah OK.' He passed it over again.
    Arthur grabbed hold of it and tried to stop his hands shaking. He pressed the entry for the the relevant page. The screen flashed and swirled and resolved into a page of print. Arthur stared at it.
    'It doesn't have an entry!' he burst out.
    Ford looked over his sholder.
    'Yes it does,' he said, 'down there, see at the bottom of the screen, just under Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted **** of Eroticon 6.'
    Arthur followed Ford's finger, and saw where it was pointing. For a moment it still didn't register, then his mind nearly blew up.
    'What? Harmless? Is that all it's got to say? Harmless! One word!
    Ford shrugged.
    'Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy, and only a limited amount of space in the book's microprocessors,' he said, 'and no one knew much about the Earth of course.'
    'Well for God's sake I hope you managed to rectify that a bit.'
    'Oh yes, well I managed to transmit a new entry off to the editor. He had to trim it a bit, but it's still an improvement.'
    'And what does it say now?' asked Arthur.
    'Mostly harmless,' admitted Ford with a slightly embarrassed cough.
    'Mostly harmless!' shouted Arthur.
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagic
  • DunsbyDunsby Join Date: 2002-08-01 Member: 1042Awaiting Authorization
    Did the wind just blow my door open?
  • FrothybeverageFrothybeverage Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13593Members
    At eight o'clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn't feel very
    good. He woke up blearily, got up, wandered blearily round his
    room, opened a window, saw a bulldozer, found his slippers, and
    stomped off to the bathroom to wash.

    Toothpaste on the brush - so. Scrub.

    Shaving mirror - pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a
    moment it reflected a second bulldozer through the bathroom
    window. Properly adjusted, it reflected Arthur Dent's bristles.
    He shaved them off, washed, dried, and stomped off to the kitchen
    to find something pleasant to put in his mouth.

    Kettle, plug, fridge, milk, coffee. Yawn.

    The word bulldozer wandered through his mind for a moment in
    search of something to connect with.

    The bulldozer outside the kitchen window was quite a big one.

    He stared at it.

    "Yellow," he thought and stomped off back to his bedroom to get
    dressed.

    Passing the bathroom he stopped to drink a large glass of water,
    and another. He began to suspect that he was hung over. Why was
    he hung over? Had he been drinking the night before? He supposed
    that he must have been. He caught a glint in the shaving mirror.
    "Yellow," he thought and stomped on to the bedroom.

    He stood and thought. The pub, he thought. Oh dear, the pub. He
    vaguely remembered being angry, angry about something that seemed
    important. He'd been telling people about it, telling people
    about it at great length, he rather suspected: his clearest
    visual recollection was of glazed looks on other people's faces.
    Something about a new bypass he had just found out about. It had
    been in the pipeline for months only no one seemed to have known
    about it. Ridiculous. He took a swig of water. It would sort
    itself out, he'd decided, no one wanted a bypass, the council
    didn't have a leg to stand on. It would sort itself out.

    God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked
    at himself in the wardrobe mirror. He stuck out his tongue.
    "Yellow," he thought. The word yellow wandered through his mind
    in search of something to connect with.

    Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and lying in front
    of a big yellow bulldozer that was advancing up his garden path.
  • DunsbyDunsby Join Date: 2002-08-01 Member: 1042Awaiting Authorization
    <!--QuoteBegin--Fam+Feb 9 2003, 01:35 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Fam @ Feb 9 2003, 01:35 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <img src='http://www.frogsonice.com/foi/gallery/leap2.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Imo... Fam wins!
  • tseepratseepra Join Date: 2002-12-11 Member: 10530Members
    And the cow jumped over the moon twice.
  • KaosdroneKaosdrone Join Date: 2002-12-17 Member: 11021Members
    only a single quote can sum up everything in this string, with all the nonsense loaded in, or maybe its juts the complete dumbshitness of it.....

    "I think I may have been Bulimic, or maybe I was just lactose intolerant" -O'Hera

    This is a real qoute given to me by Narfwak, from a kid we go to school with.


    DISCLAIMER-
    I appologize if anyones head exploded while reading this. If it did, I'm sorry but I'm not responsible for any damages done because of this qoute or it's content. If anyone attempts to sue me over it I will be forced to issue a strong counter suit. If you attempt to counter this counter I will counter with another counter suit. If counter suits begin to pile up over the hundreds I will be forced to come to your house and make sure that you do not make any more counter suits. If anyone attempts to disprove this disclaimer they will be suid for billions of dollars over lying your stupid pants off. If anyone quotes this I will sue you for quoting an unquotable and copyrighted text. If anyone attempts to break this disclaimer I will get really mad and will find a little kid to beat up. The kid likes you too, and is gonna pay you a lot of money for his safety. Any attepts to rescue this kid will result in death, because I have a big dog gaurding the kid. Do not make fun of this disclaimer, because I am emotionally insecure and you do not want me to go nuts on someone. Thank you for obeying this disclaimer, and Enjoy!
  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    ...

    Leave it to Kaos to butcher a quote.

    His name is Andy O'Hara, and you misspelled just about everything important.

    I liked that quote. Now, I can't stand to be in the same room with it anymore. How dare you. How DARE you betray my trust like that?!? I thought we were friends, no MORE - LOVERS! HOW COULD YOU!?!

    **sob**
  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    And in related news, packets are sent as an unstructured raw bit stream over physical medium.
  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    edited February 2003
    "OMG!! I pinched my nipple!! I'm gonna get breast cancer!!" - Anthony Berger (not a chick - we think)

    Paraphrasing is fun. Try paraphasing your dog sometime. Walking into a room and barking in a public space is always lots of fun.
  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    ...normally we have something like that up there - oh wait, maybe we won't go there.
  • NarfwakNarfwak Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 5258Members, Super Administrators, Forum Admins, NS1 Playtester, Playtest Lead, Forum Moderators, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Silver, Reinforced - Gold, Reinforced - Diamond, Reinforced - Shadow, Subnautica PT Lead, NS2 Community Developer
    My pilot looks over his shoulder, “Hey Gary.”

    The engineer fires back, “Hey yourself, ace. Got any aliens on board?”

    “Only this one here, from TechTrope Magazine.”
  • Spyder_MonkeySpyder_Monkey Vampire-Ninja-Monkey Join Date: 2002-01-24 Member: 8Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Alright... I think this has gone on for long enough. Things are getting too off-topic even for this forum... that and Narfwak has been reduced (or perhaps raised?) to a drooling post-junkie.
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