Actress Vows To Rid The World Of Aliens!
<div class="IPBDescription">One horrible movie at a time.</div> <a href='http://www.woodradio.com/script/headline_newsmanager.php?id=386591&pagecontent=weirdnews&feed_id=64' target='_blank'>'Body Thetans' Beware: Elfman is After You</a>
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><i>United Press International</i>
A former star of Dharma and Greg says she is on a crusade to rid the planet of aliens who inhabited Earth 75 million years ago after a nuclear explosion.
Jenna Elfman, a devout follower of Scientology, also told the religious group's magazine Celebrity that Hollywood suffered from suppression, MSNBC reported Tuesday.
"I intend to make Scientology as accessible to as many people as I can. And that is my goal," Elfman said.
"To do this," she says, "it is my duty to clear the planet." By clearing she means to rid the world of body thetans -- aliens who Scientologists believe inhabit the earth from a nuclear explosion 75 million years ago.
She continued "the more successful I became, the more suppression I bumped into ... especially in the entertainment industry, which really is home to rabid suppression." <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Will the Kharra be next?
Will Christopher Walkin go into hiding?
Will Jello be revealed as an alien plot to pacify and confuse our children?
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><i>United Press International</i>
A former star of Dharma and Greg says she is on a crusade to rid the planet of aliens who inhabited Earth 75 million years ago after a nuclear explosion.
Jenna Elfman, a devout follower of Scientology, also told the religious group's magazine Celebrity that Hollywood suffered from suppression, MSNBC reported Tuesday.
"I intend to make Scientology as accessible to as many people as I can. And that is my goal," Elfman said.
"To do this," she says, "it is my duty to clear the planet." By clearing she means to rid the world of body thetans -- aliens who Scientologists believe inhabit the earth from a nuclear explosion 75 million years ago.
She continued "the more successful I became, the more suppression I bumped into ... especially in the entertainment industry, which really is home to rabid suppression." <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Will the Kharra be next?
Will Christopher Walkin go into hiding?
Will Jello be revealed as an alien plot to pacify and confuse our children?
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
WE must kill this alien threat as soon as possible!
SAVE THE GORGIES THOUGH!!!
[EDIT:] Heh, by the way. For your amusement, here's what you learn once you've given so much of your money to the "Church" of Scientology:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.
Xenu the alien ruler Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.
Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).
These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.
The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).
After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".
When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.
As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I for one propose that we create our own religion, it seems to be the style these days. Our belief is that the Kharra are a real race of aliens, bent on the destruction of humanity. Flayra is the only man (actually a mutated Kharaa turned renegade) who can stop them, and has assumed human form in order to achieve this. He has begun distributing the half-life mod, Natural Selection, in order to warn us of our impending doom, and to train us in the use of the weaponry which will be in use by the time the Kharra's final attack is launched.
If you wish to donate to the Forumologists, you must donate all of your worldly possessions to Flayra, which he will use to create an even better game, and spread the word further. WE BELIEVE!
Ironically this makes slightly more sense than the Scientologist's version. Normally i'm against discrimination against anyone regardless of race or religious group, but I think i'm willing to waive that just for these guys.
As I said above, offend away. These people deserve everything they get, imho.
/me scurries away
They aren't actually told that story until they've reached a certain "level". <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> It starts by brainwashing you. Then, once you're brainwashed and willing to believe anything that they say, you eventually learn that story.
You can also join the Sea Org and work under a billion-year contract, eventually. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
The creator of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, admitted that he created it to make money, I believe.
Barry just sighed and shrugged his massive onos shoulders and went back to reading his subscription of TIME magazine.
edit: ed, your sig is awesome and I would love to use it as well ;D
It starts with "once upon a time...", that explains it all <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
If you wish to donate to the Forumologists, you must donate all of your worldly possessions to Flayra, which he will use to create an even better game, and spread the word further. WE BELIEVE! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Dibs on being an enforcer and silencing anyone who opposes the god Flayra.
Plus this explains why the aliens are always changing so much - Flayra must rework the code so that the versions of the game match the current alien evolution! <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I wouldn't be surprised
Not to drag this horrible off topic, but I dont think so, they just arent that vocal about it <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
If you wish to donate to the Forumologists, you must donate all of your worldly possessions to Flayra, which he will use to create an even better game, and spread the word further. WE BELIEVE! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Dibs on being an enforcer and silencing anyone who opposes the god Flayra.
Plus this explains why the aliens are always changing so much - Flayra must rework the code so that the versions of the game match the current alien evolution! <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yes! Exactly!
Only by becoming a constellation member can you be SAVED FROM THE KHARAA!
We'll need a few people to go round knocking on people's doors and bombard them with leaflets while they're trying to eat dinner.
We will also need leaflets.
We'll need a few people to go round knocking on people's doors and bombard them with leaflets while they're trying to eat dinner.
We will also need leaflets.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
HEAR ME MY BRETHREN!
Soon the day shall come when the evil Kharra plague spills onto this world and all shall be tested in thine knowedge of thy foe. But fear not, for there is HOPE! There can be SALVATION! For 20$ (or applicable foreign currency) you can arm yourself with the knowledge of your enemy and stand at the forefront of the human resistance! JOIN ME ME MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! JOIN ME IN THE CONSTELLATION!
FOR EARTH!
FOR HUMANITY!
<b>FOR FLAYRA!!!1</b>
honestly I feel the same way about many of the worlds religions. How is it that we can label some people crazy for thinking aliens controlled everything and thinking that some eternal being being the creator of everything is perfectly normal?
I think they are both just as crazy as eachother. +1 atheist.