Natural Selection - The Behemoth : Source

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  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members
    Lets all pressure fire eel!

    *stares at fire eel*
  • iCsiCs Join Date: 2005-02-08 Member: 40340Members
    *Me helps BadMouth and stares at fire eel also*

    we all want more comeone fire eel <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TheJimTheJim Join Date: 2005-01-09 Member: 34080Members, Constellation
    edited April 2005
    has he gone on holiday to the next solar system or something <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    come back and post the next chapter Fire Eel or i will have to take time off work to come hunt you down for it <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TheJimTheJim Join Date: 2005-01-09 Member: 34080Members, Constellation
    edited May 2005
    Why am i waiting i am suffocating oh why am i waiting..

    forgot the rest <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    come on fire Eel we need more, more, more, mmoooooooooorree i telll u moooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee hahahahahaha!

    *coughs*

    I think i will calm down now! You get the point <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    edited December 2006
    <!--sizeo:14--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Chapter 7) He's Back<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

    <!--sizeo:7--><span style="font-size:36pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->7a) Awareness<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

    <!--fonto:Times--><span style="font-family:Times"><!--/fonto-->Trans System Authority Docking-and-Resupply Satellite
    Codename : Hyperpulse XX20
    Status : Slow orbit around Earth<!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc-->

    "Greg?" Boston murmured as he stared at his fusion television in horror.

    Out of the huge bundles of trunk-thick cables and rod-like wires behind him, loud bangs and wheezing were heard. Movement could be seen within the coils as they heaved outwards and rebounded back to their positions.

    "Greg, dammit! Come here!" Boston yelled, his eyes still rooted on the screen.
    "I am trying! I am trying! Whose fault is it that you think caused me to get in here?" Greg shouted, his voice muffed by the hissing of the pipes around him.

    The cables pushed much harder than before, and a hand holding a silver wrench suddenly poked out through the mess. The wrench was dropped with a loud clang and Boston jumped at the noise.

    "You idiot Greg! You almost made me swallow my gum!" Boston growled as he spun around to look at the wrench.
    "Yeah...yeah...those days fighting the Kharaa still haunt you huh? And for one thing, you don't even have a gum in your mouth right now." Greg taunted.

    Using the strong cables like a ladder, Greg climbed over the top of the mess and jumped down. He was a small frame person, much smaller than the six-foot Boston; and both wore simply grey suits although Greg had an additional engineer's helmet. Ashes were stained on his clothes, and his face had several dark stains.

    Boston paused the television, and spun around to face Greg.

    "Boston." Greg said. "Those valves...half of them are still not functioning properly. I think after this I will try again to repair them."
    "Don't bother. We got a more serious problem." Boston interupted.
    Greg dropped his helmet on the floor. "You serious?"
    "Yeah. Very serious. You know the EX-209? The one that just left from here?" Boston asked.
    Greg wiped his face. "Juo's ship? What about it? Did we not refuel it properly? Did we miss out something? Did we do a crappy job? Did we make them unhappy? Did we plss them off? Did we..."
    "Shut up." Boston cut in.
    "Are they going to lodge a complain or something stupid?" Greg questioned.
    "Nah." Boston shook his head. "They are dead."
    "YES!!! I knew it! That w@nker! What stupid thing did he do this time? Plss his superiors off?" Greg shouted in glee.
    "EX-209 was destroyed about twenty minutes ago. None of the crew survived." Boston said in a grim and serious tone, and he resumed the television.

    Greg gasped aloud, and he looked at the television. On the screen was a well-recognized figure - TSA President, Mark Stellas.

    "......but we will not send another spaceship to BH for now. However, General Flinch has decided to have the Eradicater, Tauhaser FV, EX-150, EX-260 and EX-800 Mk ll standby. If another situation arises, then the brave commanders of the five spaceships will be ever ready to sacrifice their lifes for the good of all men, and for Earth. To this date, it is still unknown as to why BH would return to Earth, my personal belief is that......"

    "Stellas!" Greg remarked. "The big boss! If he comes out to do a speech, then this must be pretty goddarn important!"
    "You have no idea..." Boston muttered.

    Mark Stellas had a tall and statue figure, he stood impossibly still with two hands clinging onto the side of his table. He wore a dull grey suit that had a huge TSA logo imprinted onto his heart and stared straight ahead with wise and yet, youthful eyes. Shades of grey were in his neatly combed hair, yet not a single wrinkle could be caught on his complexion.

    "......despite what many are accusing us of, I will not admit to the false claims that I had personally approved Major Juo's EX-209 to confront BH. Neither will I admit that we have actually lost any other spaceships to BH so far - with the exception of the ill-faded EX-200. Commander Reza died valiently, as did every crew and marine that went with him. TSA is ready to attack BH if necessary, but we have not done so yet. This is still little proof that BH has indeed been taken over by the Kharaa, and think of what we could reclaim from BH if we successfully retrieve it back. I would say......"

    "Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!" Boston yelled at the top of his voice.
    "No shlt man. Stellas actually......lied?!" Greg said disbelievingly.
    "Like hell he didn't! He is simply trying to cover up his own stupid mistakes!" Boston mummbled angrily.
    Greg turned to face Boston as he wiped ash off his face. "What mistake?"
    "He sent EX-209 to BH, and it was totally destroyed! He wasted one pretty darn expensive good spaceship, and wasted the lives of twenty other marines! Despite what happened to EX-200!" Boston answered. "I always knew Stellas couldn't be trusted!"
    "So exactly what happened?" Greg questioned.
    "Well.......about half an hour ago," Boston replied. "EX-209 was getting pretty close to BH. Now, first, we already knew what happened to the EX-200 when it tried to get close. Now, Stellas just made a foolish choice by testing his - no, by testing Juo's luck and sent the EX-209 to BH, thinking that was a chance BH wouldn't attack."
    "It did." Greg interupted.
    "Yeah. Same thing as EX-200, total destruction. Everyone died." Boston said.
    "So what's next?" Greg asked.
    "This." Boston held up his Personal Digital Assistant.

    Greg read the words on the PDA carefully. It was a standard transmission from General Dwan, informing them that the Eradicater and EX-150 would be docking with their satellite within an hour.

    "More work!" Greg groaned.
    "What do you expect us to do? This is the price for our high pay you know?" Boston shrugged his shoulders.
    "It's seriously not worth it! Now I suppose I will have to get back to fixing the valves?" Greg growled.
    "Not yet. There is something else. Come...." Boston said suddenly in a low and dangerous voice.

    Boston led Greg to a small safety vault and pushed a button. Immediately, a small numberical pad popped up. Boston's fingers moved in a blur; punching in a dozen numbers in less than a second. The safety vault flipped open, and a cool mist erupted from inside. Boston reached into the unseen interior of the vault and pulled out another PDA.

    "What are you..." Greg mumbled.

    Boston placed a finger abruptly on Greg's lips, and then passed the PDA to him.

    <!--fonto:Courier--><span style="font-family:Courier"><!--/fonto-->Protocol HornetCaterpillar
    Top Secret
    Eyes Only

    The EX-209 has just been destroyed. BH is unsafe. We are unable to stop BH now. However, we will attempt to retrieve BH by sending in the Eradicater and EX-150 at once. Once the refuel for the two spaceships is done, lead the infiltration mission. Your Hyperpulse XX20 satellite is able to withstand the firepower of BH. The Eradicater and EX-150 will stay behind your satellite until approachable distance of a hundred and fifty metres and they will detach. Once the infiltration is completed, leave BH, and return to your present course of orbital.

    Please delete the message immediately after reading it. Failure to comply may result in violation of Code R9, and result in according martial punishment.<!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc-->

    "You were supposed to keep something this important from me?!" Greg yelled.
    "I didn't." Boston replied calmly.
    Greg threw the PDA back at Boston. "Okay then. Originally, why was I not to know that piece of information?"
    "I am the superior. Also, the reason why you were transferred here was because of your failure to comply a Commander's important order." Boston explained.
    "And that is - to sacrifice myself for the good of the team? And be a bait for the Onos? No shlt man. And now, you are the one who's not obeying orders." Greg said unkindly.
    "It is up to you whether or not you feel like appreciating my kindness. But back to the task at hand, those two spaceships are coming, you know it will be our turn soon." Boston spoke grimly.
    "Great! So we are supposed to lead the assault now?!" Greg muttered.
    Boston shook his head. "No, we are supposed to be a shield for the Eradicater and EX-150. Despite what THAT message says, we will definitely not live through it. This satellite couldn't last five minutes against that kind of firepower, the armor would simply crumple like bullets through a cookie. The best possible outcome is that we sacrifice ourselves, but the crew of the Eradicater and EX-150 manages to infiltrate into BH."
    "Looks like TSA and Stellas really are intent on SCREWING US OVER!!!" Greg roared and flung his helmet on the floor.
    "Stop that. I might have to turn off the artifical-gravity if you are going to damage my place." Boston reprimanded him.
    "For what? Why must they take back BH no matter what?" Greg asked angrily.
    "Because no one is there to prove BH has been taken over by the Kharaa. TSA has got way too much pride to admit it. BH is afterall, worth a lot of money. For one thing, it is the biggest, and stupidest project ever taken by TSA, you think they would willingly destroy it? After it has returned after so long a wait?" Boston said.
    "How the heck do they explain why BH keeps shooting down our ships then?" Greg asked.
    "A glitch in the self-defense system." Boston replied. "They keep on recycling that damn excuse."
    "Alright. So all we have to do is prove that BH is indeed overrun by the Kharaa, right? And then TSA will destroy BH, and our lives will be saved. Right? Boston?" Greg questioned, clearly excited.
    "Right." came the reply.
    "Great! So...erm...what are we waiting for?" Greg said hesitantly.
    "And exactly, HOW do you intend to prove that BH is infested by Kharaa?" Boston raised his voice suddenly.

    To that, Greg could find no answer.

    ---------------------------------------------

    Firstly, my sincere apologies to everyone for the lack of update for 3 whole months. The reason for this was because I got a job, and a bug somehow keeps deleting my microsoft word : my number one tool in writing stories.

    Oh well, this chapter was done sometime back, but I had not edited it or anything yet, due to the lack of microsoft word.

    I didn't come back to tell you guys about my job because.....well.....I just didn't want to face you guys with such a lousy excuse.

    But the good news is! I am quitting my job soon! Look forward to a return of my stories soon!

    Have a nice day.

    P.S : Badmouth, ya reading this, buddy? I guess I lied, looks like I am posting this story even before I quit my job. <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tounge.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":p" border="0" alt="tounge.gif" />
  • TheJimTheJim Join Date: 2005-01-09 Member: 34080Members, Constellation
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!

    I haven't read it yet as i will save it for work but the yes thing is for finaly YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS ya back <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TheJimTheJim Join Date: 2005-01-09 Member: 34080Members, Constellation
    Very nice <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • GlockmeisterGlockmeister Join Date: 2004-04-06 Member: 27754Members
    finally your back <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    It's pretty good, well done
  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members
    wonderful! great to be reading your work again. This chapter is really a nice interlude from all the action and lets us take a look at what's happening outside the BH.
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    edited May 2005
    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>7b) It's Not A Who, It's A What</span>

    Done with their final weapon checks, they finished half of their MREs and drank a bottle of water each. No toilet was available in the area and they had to make do in one of the smaller rooms.

    "God! Reza! Your shlt stinks!" Jack murmured loudly as he entered the room to do his business. "What the hell have you been eating?!"

    Reza chuckled loudly, and the others looked at him for a moment, surprised, before they too laughed as well. In the midst of all the action, they had forgot that Reza was simply another marine like him. In the past missions and briefings, there always was an invisible barrier between them and Reza. They simply couldn't treat him like one of their own, and no matter what they did, they would stay a distance from him. When there was a funny joke being spread about, no one said it to Reza, for fear of him disapproving. When someone made a mistake such as taking the wrong ammo, none told Reza, as they were worried he might get angry. Always, Reza would be left out from things, but now, seeing him joke and laugh like one of them was unexpected, but very much welcomed.

    "You guys do your stuff. I will make a final look for anything useful to us." Burt said and he went into another room.

    Reza smiled. Burt has always been so helpful to the squad, he simply couldn't sum up his gratitude in words.

    "Let me help." Reza muttered and he got up.
    "Me too." Sophie added and she entered the same room as Burt.

    As soon as Jack was done, the four of them were searching the rooms again while Jack stayed on guard, trying his best to forget the smell of their waste products.

    Sophie rummaged through a stack of wet files and papers, and picked up a small silver device. She wiped it and examined it for a while before she smiled with satisfaction.

    "I found a PDA!" she yelled as she tapped into its contents.

    The PDA was in perfect working condition. It must had belonged to one of the crew previously. The content were useless to them, but Reza managed to upload BH's layout into it. It lacked motion tracking, or a radar to locate the Kharaa, but having the map of a four-thousand metre spaceship was better than nothing.

    Jack studied the PDA for awhile. "Who will- "
    "Reza will keep it." Burt interrupted. "He's still the leader."

    Jack nodded in approval, and they studied the map for a few more minutes before Reza shut it off and kept it. He was worried about the power left, which showed a quarter bar flashing repeatedly.

    "Firstly. We will go through another route to the lift again. There is a possibility that the Kharaa have already learnt that we have restored the temperature and gravity. If they did, they might be on the same level as us, and might have picked up our trail. The last thing we want is to have them hot on our trail, so we will attempt to throw them off by taking a totally different path." Reza instructed. "I happen to know an unhappy Fade that wants my head."

    The plan was now to return to the lift where they would climb up to the twenty-third level. They would proceed to the Main-Communications Room to contact Earth. Next, they would move to the Main Bridge, fight the Kharaas and retake BH, stopping the bombs, and hopefully crashing the spaceship somewhere.

    It all sounded good, but Reza knew their chances of completing this mission was near to none. He would die happily if he could even manage to warn Earth.

    Finally, the group set out, leaving the Sub-Control Room. The atmosphere disturbance was totally gone, and the floor and walls were drenched in water.

    Reza led the way, and he twisted through maze-like paths, turned corners and through cross-junctions. Jack wondered how Reza even knew the way, considering that Reza wasn't even glancing at his PDA.

    Their heavy weaponry were lowered, but their senses were perked. With Reza at the lead with a HMG, Sophie behind with a Shotgun, Burt in the middle with a HMG, Jack at fourth position holding a HMG, and Mike the shot-gunner at their end turning back constantly, this was a formation that the marines have employed for many missions. It was a nearly flawless tactic as it guarded well against backstabbing Skulks, as well as placed the marines with a good line of sight with their respective weapons. No Skulk or Lerk could come close without ending up with plenty of holes.

    They passed by doors after doors, walls of scars and bullet holes, daunting vents and snake-like pipes, eyes rolling left and right, fully-concentrated on getting to their destination as well as looking out for any Kharaa. Past experience had told them that the Kharaa was most likely to approach at times that seemed the most peaceful. Right now, they were focused on being stealthy. The Kharaa had this entire place to them. Worst still, they had been forced to engage in combat, and already alerted the entire spaceship of their presence, now all they could hope was that the Kharaa might be fooled into thinking they were dead.

    Reza suddenly raised a hand, and everyone stopped instantly and listened.

    A pipe overhead hissed, and Jack glanced up abruptly. The others faced the front while Mike turned to the back. There was a low rumbling, barely noticeable, and everyone looked around for the source of the sound.

    There was nothing. No life, no hint of the Kharaa, nor were there any movement at all. They were alone in that place.

    After a while, Reza dismissed the sound as being important and made a waving gesture with his hand. The four of them followed him and walked on ahead into a huge room.

    It was clearly used to transport cargo, as several cranes laid stationary, while large conveyer belts spun round endlessly and forklift vehicles laid overturned. An enormous escalator door six metres wide was at the end, its control panel still blinking with lights.

    "Reza," Burt whispered. "That lift...could it still be working?"
    "Perhaps. But it's best to let it remain as it is. When I checked our map, that escalator only transports cargo from level one to level eleven." Reza explained.
    "Why don't we activate it then? Let it run up to level eleven. I bet that thing makes a hell lot of noise. It could probably distract them or something, confuse them into thinking we are going up to level eleven." Sophie suggested.

    The rumbling noise was getting louder. Reza stared at the door for a moment before it hit him. The sound was coming from the escalator!

    Something was coming up!

    Before Reza could say anything more, a loud 'ping' sounded. Double red lights begun to flicker at sides of the door.

    "Alert! Alert! Cargo coming through. Please stand clear of the escalator door!" a computer voice wailed.

    "Cargo?" Jack whispered, confused. "Who could possibly be using that escalator now?"

    As if in answer to his question, there was a grunt from the other side of the door. It was a grunt that every seasoned marine instantly recognized, and one that every marine fears.

    "Onos!" Burt warned.

    "Dammit! Of all the foes to come!" Reza muttered under his voice angrily. "Everyone! Prepare to fire! Mike, stand guard behind us to watch out for attacking Skulks."

    The four of them stood in a neat line, three HMGs and one Shotgun raised and aiming at the door, while Mike had his back against them, watching out for their back.

    The door divided from the middle, and slowly begun to slide open.

    The shape of a big and inhuman creature was behind, its massive body slowly unveiled as the door opened. The door was four metres tall, yet the monster behind filled the entire space.

    A great horn suddenly poked through the middle, and they stared at it, stunned and horrified. Even Mike was forced to turn, for it was no mere Onos that was coming through.

    "ONII!!!" Jack wailed.
  • Shadow2Shadow2 Join Date: 2005-05-05 Member: 50960Members
    Wow. Just, Wow.

    I'm speechless.

    Talk about a cliffhanger.

    You remind me of Charles Dickens, and how he wrote his monthly stories.

    Good work <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • VigilantiaVigilantia Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 51Members
    OMG! He's, he's.... HES ALIVE!!!!!

    Man, i thought FireEel was in an accident or something seeing as he didnt write something in over 30 days. <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Anywho, good to have u back and kicking eel. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    You BET I am alive! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Haha, fear not, I was just at the mercy of my job, and not in any accident at all. I must admit also, that the reason I didn't write for over two months was also out of laziness. After I get back from a hot day in work, spending an hour+ writing was not exactly on my "desired-to-do" list. Instead, I simply on the air con, sat in front of my comp and played NS or CS S.

    I am glad you fellas are still here to read my fanfic. Its you nice guys that keeps me going. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TheJimTheJim Join Date: 2005-01-09 Member: 34080Members, Constellation
    Very good matey nice to hear ONII again <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    1 error spotted

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->They simply couldn't treat <b>them</b> like one of their own, and no matter what they did, they would stay a distance from him<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    I believe <b>them</b> should be <b>him</b>

    And this bit i love

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The door divided from the middle, and slowly begun to slide open.

    The shape of a big and inhuman creature was behind, its massive body slowly unveiled as the door opened. The door was four metres tall, yet the monster behind filled the entire space.

    A great horn suddenly poked through the middle, and they stared at it, stunned and horrified. Even Mike was forced to turn, for it was no mere Onos that was coming through.

    "ONII!!!" Jack wailed.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    OWND <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members
    very interesting way how u "personalised" Reza and how you "humanized" the characters. I have read many books and stories but few shows ppl taking a s***. i tot it was quite funny. although im sure there is a better way to do it...

    i also liked the build-up to the onii. atomosphere and environment was great for the story as a whole. it would be better if u could use mroe sophisticated language though.
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    edited May 2005
    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>7c) Separation</span>

    Blood-thirsty eyes focused on the five marines as the door continued to open, every inch widened sending them closer to their doom.

    "Oh God........it's him." Sophie murmured, her lips shaking with fear.
    Even Reza was frozen in terror for a moment, before he suddenly yelled, "God dammit! Shoot! Shoot!"

    He pulled the trigger first, and let loose a round of HMG bullets into Onii's face.

    The other abruptly awoke from their trance, and fired as well.

    Metal shredding bullets tore into the door and machines in the way, creating bright sparks and ricochets spraying everywhere. Shotgun pellets and HMG bullets hit and bounced off Onii's nose horn and armored frill, doing barely any damage at all.

    Without any warning, Onii let out a scream of primal rage, and charged right through the lift at them at super breakneck speed, curling both sides of the door outwards.

    Metal crates and forklifts were crushed under his feet, as the floor rumbled with every step Onii took. Nothing could stand in its wake of destruction.

    "This way!" Reza shouted and bolted towards a motionless conveyer belt. It was futile to stand against it anymore.

    The five of them ran at the tracks of the conveyerer belt, firing at Onii's face as they moved. It was almost upon them when they entered the conveyer belt pathway into the wall, and it crashed into the wall, sending the whole place shaking.

    "Reza! Where exactly is the other route?!" Mike said loudly as he ran.
    "This is it! This belt runs into another room, which is located very near to the lift!" Reza yelled.

    Their footsteps and shouts echoed in the endless tunnel-like belt pathway, which was completely empty, and so dim that they could barely see twenty metres ahead.

    Jack glanced back a few times, and was relieved to see that Onii wasn't behind.

    After a little while, their paces slowed down to a strolling speed, and they caught their breathes. Onii was nowhere to be seen, it was unlikely that it had followed them into this belt pathway, which ceiling was slightly below four metres.

    "Well, Reza! Are you very sure this pathway goes to the lift?" Jack muttered, as he breathed heavily.
    "Positive." Reza replied. "This belt divides into two directions later. And both would bring us to cargo storage rooms located less than forty metres from the lift."

    They started to walk slowly, once-more resuming their single-file position, ever-vigilant to watch out for other Kharaa. There was no need to run anymore, Onii couldn't follow them inside.

    <span style='font-family:Times'>boom......</span>

    They glanced back, darkly aware the source of the sound was from where they had ran from.

    The walls trembled a little, and dust fell from the pipes overhead. The lights flickered several times, and electricity sparkled on the ceiling.

    "What's that?" Jack questioned, his eyes visible with fear.
    "Don't tell me..." Mike whispered as he focused his eyes, trying hard to make out what was in the distance as the dim light prevented him from seeing far.

    Another boom sounded, and the belt rose and sank slightly.

    Jack swallowed his breath. From the distance away, the dim light appeared to be swallowed up. An unexplained shadowry darkness was slowly creeping towards them.

    <span style='font-family:Times'>boom...boom...boom...</span>

    The boom echoed throughout the belt pathway, getting louder and louder with every following boom. It almost sounded like thunder.

    Sophie kept repeating to herself internally, it couldn't be Onii...it couldn't be Onii...Never before had she ever felt such fear from an enemy. Never before, had she ever regreted so much getting into this kind of situation. She was almost certain Onii was invincible, and nothing but death awaits them should they confront Onii again.

    <span style='font-family:Times'>boom.boom.boom.boom</span>

    The sound was getting more frequent, and louder than ever.

    "Guys." Burt said. "We should get going."
    "He's right." Reza agreed. "Every second we delay here..."

    Suddenly, there was an earthshaking roar, and the blood instantly froze in their body as they finally saw Onii.

    The "darkness" was from its body, as it walked towards them, slowly but steadily. The walls were narrow, and the ceiling was too low for it. Onii's body was lowered, yet its great nose horn touched the ceiling, ripping a huge cut across, bursting pipes and shattering light bulbs. His entire body filled the pathway, drowning out all the light. Every step he took resulted in another thunder-like boom, the belt was crushed under his foot, and the walls buckled against his massive body.

    Burt raised his HMG but Mike stopped him.

    "Its no use." Mike said grimly.
    Burt stared at Mike in bewilderment. "What? Why?"
    "His head plate is thick and invulnerable, this creature is beyond any of us." Mike replied.
    "But he is stuck right now. Look! He can't even run towards us!" Jack said and pointed towards Onii.

    Onii let out another blood-chilling yowl, and suddenly charged towards them.

    The entire area shook crazily as the walls and ceilings were crushed against his body. Onii picked up speed every second, the resistance of the surroundings doing little to slow him.

    "Holy shlt! What kind of a monster is he?!" Jack screamed and took off with them.

    <span style='font-family:Times'>Boom! Boom! Boom!</span>

    The belt sprung up and down under their feet constantly, as if invisible springs were underneth. It was getting hellish tough for them to run.

    The footsteps were right behind them, Onii was gaining on them. The pipes above them twisted left and right, and massive cracks appeared on the walls around them, and huge amount of dust fell everywhere. Onii's sheer bulk was destroying the entire belt pathway, as it was intent on eating his former preys which managed to escape from it earlier.

    Onii roared again, and snapped its jaws at their back, sending out thunderous cracks which sent chills down their spines.

    "There!" Reza shouted.

    About fifty metres ahead, it was a dead end, and the belt divided in two directions. It would lead them to the two cargo storage rooms.

    Glancing back every now and then, Sophie was dismayed to see that the Onii was hot on their heels, and the tip of its horns was just inches from her. She was lacking the furtherest behind. Screaming, she sprinted faster than ever as curses flew out of her mouth.

    Onii's jaws opened wide, its prey were almost within reach.

    Pieces of tiles and metals rained down around them. The entire belt pathway was getting devasted, and ready to collapse anytime now.

    RUN! RUN! RUN!!!

    Sophie screamed in her own mind. Don't stop! Don't give up now! The exit is almost within reach! She could almost feel Onii's hot breath on her neck. She could almost picture her own demise, similar to Jeff's.

    "Dead ahead!" Reza shouted at the top of his voice.

    Burt's H-Grenade was already in his hand, and he pulled the pin off with his teeth before tossing it in front of them, right before the ending wall.

    The moment the five of them hit the V-division of the belt, they scattered, Burt and Reza towards the left, Mike and Jack towards the right.

    Sophie screamed and launched her body towards the right exit. There was a whoosh of air as Onii missed her feet by mere inches. She landed onto the floor painfully and curled up into a protective ball, counting the one second left for the H-Grenade.

    Onii, not expecting the sudden dead end, continued blindly ahead and rammed straight into the wall ahead. There was a huge wham, and the entire place rumbled from the powerful impact. At this exact moment, the H-Grenade exploded, and the ceiling, already weakened by Onii's forceful advance, finally gave way. The entire belt pathway crumpled and crashed onto its back. Tonnes of metal, dust and tiles rained down on Onii, burying it alive as it struggled helplessly to escape. There was a final bellow of anger and pain, before silence took over.

    Amidst the cloud of dust, Jack, Mike and Sophie came dashing out from the room. Sophie had several brusies on her body, but was otherwise unharmed. They had all managed to get away before the debris buried them as well.

    The three of them rested against the wall for support, as they coughed and regained their breath. It was only seconds later, before the thoughts of the past event hit them.

    Onii was dead.

    "We did it!" Jack yelled in glee. "We killed Onii!"
    "Hell yeah! Looks like it won't be bothering us now!" Mike muttered happily.
    "One for Jeff!" Sophie cheered gladly.

    They looked around desperately, but only three of them stood there. Reza and Burt were nowhere to be seen.

    "What about Reza and Burt?" Sophie questioned, as she glanced about for them.
    Mike smiled confidently. "They will make it, they always did. Now what we need to do is to find the lift."
    Sophie nodded her head. "He's right. Reza and Burt are most likely heading towards the lift. If we go there, we might be able to meet them. What's more, these explosion must had attracted the Kharaa's attention. We can't linger here any longer, we must go now!"
    "But...where do we go?" Jack asked. "We don't have the map."

    Mike frowned at Jack's words. He was right. Although the lift was less than forty metres away, as Reza had mentioned, they had no idea of the way to go. A wrong turn might lead them even further away.

    "No...wait..." Sophie said suddenly. "We have been here before."

    Mike studied the surrounding for a moment before he remembered as well. Earlier on during the atmospheric disturbance, they had passed by this way before. He still recognized the way, although he wasn't as good as Reza, he was still slightly confident of his abilities.

    "This way." Mike said.

    The three of them drank a little more of their limited water before they moved on ahead. Walking through the familiar way and listening intently for hints of Reza and Burt, they glanced about constantly, but were more concerned on finding the two more than watching out for Kharaa.

    Five minutes later, after making a couple of slight mistakes ending in the wrong way, they finally arrived at the lift once more. The lift door was still stuck, and there was only enough space for a single person to fit through.

    Unfortunately, Burt and Reza were nowhere to be seen.
  • TheJimTheJim Join Date: 2005-01-09 Member: 34080Members, Constellation
    hmmm...

    It is good but tbh i don't think that would of killed ONII so i guess i will have to wait and see if ONII returns <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    Go ahead! Post constructive comments, and tell me what is wrong with that chapter!

    To me at least, something is missing from it. I just don't know what. In short, it is a "raw". I haven't really edited it yet, so I really need you ppl's frank comments on how bad it is, and how to improve it.

    Thanks so much!
  • BulletHeadBulletHead Join Date: 2004-07-22 Member: 30049Members
    he isn't dead...

    he's just unconcious

    Onii must die by a direct hit from a spaceships PPC Turret <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members
    i liked the buildup to the Onii approaching but i found the chase lacking. there was some tension and excitement there but it could be improved.

    i find it a bit weird u refer to onii as a "he" instead of "it".

    the chapter is not as great as the previous ones. it started off great but i think it lost steam at the end.
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    Editing done <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    I hope it turns out better now.
  • strontcilumstrontcilum Join Date: 2005-01-10 Member: 34588Members
    DM good story:D

    maybe the HG shoud be tossed into the onii's mouth ?

    i think that would hit him real hard!!

    W8ing for the next episode:D:D


    grz shadow
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    edited May 2005
    <span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>7d) Long Way Up</span>

    “Reza and Burt were here. I am sure of it.” Mike said firmly.
    Sophie turned to face him. “How do you – ”
    “That.” Mike interrupted, pointing at the lift door.

    Sophie examined the door for awhile, and she saw there was an arrow on it pointing upwards. She felt it with her fingers; it was scratched into the door, probably with a knife or something sharp.

    Sophie smiled. It was definitely recently made, as none of them had noticed the arrow when they passed by earlier.

    This meant that most likely Reza and Burt had already climbed up the lift shaft, and left the marking there for them to see.

    Jack peeped through and stared up, expecting to see the figures of Burt and Reza scaling the ladder, but he could see nothing but darkness high up. There were absolutely no signs of Burt or Reza; they must have climbed high up and out of their sight now.

    “REZA!!!” Jack yelled loudly. “BURT!!!”
    “Jack!” Sophie nudged him angrily. “Stop! Be quiet!”
    “What?” Jack asked as he spun around to face her, confused.
    “The Kharaa are around this entire area! Shouting at the top of your voice is a very, very bad idea!” Mike told him.
    “Dude. Finding Reza and Burt is more important now.” Jack retorted in defiance.
    Mike shook his head. “And our lives isn’t?”
    “Alright. At least, we should let them know we are still alive.” Jack defended himself.

    He stuck his head out to take another look; only to see the white of a mouthful of serrated teeth.

    Jack yelped and jumped back, as the jaws snapped shut where his head was a second ago.

    “Skulk!” Mike warned.

    The Skulk popped its ugly head through to look at them, and Sophie fired once with her Shotgun, exploding its head into bloody pulps of flesh and bone. The headless body stayed on the wall for awhile, and then dropped down into the darkness of the pit below. They waited till there was a loud smack before they were satisfied.

    “A skirmisher Skulk. Bastard was going to parasite us.” Sophie said.
    “I don’t get it…I mean, I didn’t hear it at all.” Jack said, his teeth still shaking from his brush with death.
    “Silence. It probably had silenced movements, which was why none of us could hear it.” Mike explained.

    This was getting bad. They must have been lingering here for too long. Skirmisher Skulks were supposed to check the aftermath of a battle to see if there were any survivors. Once more, these Skulks displayed another fearsome ability : Silence.

    A silenced Skulk makes absolutely no noise at all. Regardless of how it jumps, leaps, bites or growls, not even the slightest sound can be heard at all. Even when running with its clawed limps hitting a metal floor, any trace of the slightest bit of sound is masked. This terrifyingly silent Skulk can sneak up on a marine with ease, without his knowledge. Perhaps, the only indication by noise is only apparent when the Skulk chomps down on its prey, and the sound heard is usually that of bone and armour being crunched upon; by then it would be too late.

    Like most other abilities of the Kharaa, Silence is a complete mystery to TSA scientist. They can only guess that like Cloak, this ability could be the work of Bacterium targeting the senses of a marine, making him oblivious to the Kharaa’s presence. However, Silence only affects and confuses a marine by preventing him only from hearing xenoforms, and yet his ears still perform normally, and everything else sounds normal.

    However, the moment a Skulk dies; it loses all of its abilities. This is why scientists were unable to discover the secrets of the Kharaa, even as they dissected so many dead xenoforms. Death seals off the secrets of the Bacterium and its intricating abilities.

    The three of them could only hope now that Reza and Burt had successfully made it past any other Kharaa that might have been in the way.

    Jack made a last check with his flashlight to confirm there weren’t any more ambushing Skulks before he took off and jumped onto the ladder.

    He glanced upwards again, and waved his flashlight furiously, hoping to see a reply-signal from within the darkness above him. Hopefully, Reza or Burt might see his light, and they could give some sort of sign to prove they were above.

    “Hurry up Jack!” Sophie urged him. “What you are doing might attract more of them!”

    Letting out a sigh of annoyance, Jack continued climbing up. Sophie leapt off the ledge gracefully and caught the ladder and climbed up immediately. Next to jump on was Mike. He was the one at the bottom due to the fact he was the strongest of them, if anyone was to fall, he might at least, have a mild chance of catching the person.

    They were back, at last, back to the dreaded ladder. To climb up to the thirty-third level was definitely no easy feat, Jack thought in frustration as he continued up to the fifth level.

    With every clammy hand he placed on the next higher up bar, an annoying creak would sound and Sophie would often look up in alarm, for she remembered her close encounter with death the last time when the ladder broke.

    Surprising, this ladder wasn't so tough. To Jack, it was like climbing his old tree house, only this one was many times higher. After five minutes of relentless non-stop climbing, Jack stopped at last.

    Sophie looked up weakly, “What?”
    Jack paused to take his breath. “Do you know how long we been climbing?”
    “Five minutes? Ten minutes? Maybe fifteen.” Sophie replied.
    “So, which level are we at?” Jack asked.
    “Are you blind? We are only at the eighth level!” Mike said loudly.
    “Eight?!” Sophie and Jack cried out in unison.

    Jack almost couldn’t believe his ears when he heard Mike said ‘eighth’. So much for an extra-high tree house, this ladder up was seriously endless. Nonetheless, they must move on quickly without pause. If the Kharaa realized their skirmisher Skulk was dead, they might send more Skulks to check out the area.

    “Come on, Jack! You can do it!” Jack cheered himself under his breath as he reached out to grab the next bar, kick himself up, and continued on.

    However, the group soon found their stamina fading and their energy drained from them. After another climb of ten minutes, of which there were many pauses in between, it was Sophie’s turn to stop.

    “Where…are…we…now?” Sophie questioned, taking several pauses in between.

    Mike said nothing, but looked downwards at the pit.

    “Well?” Jack probed.
    Mike frowned tiredly. “Twelve or thirteen I guess. There now! Let’s go on!”

    Letting out a grunt of tiredness, Sophie breathed deeply as she struggled to climb up. Fatigue was taking her, as well as Mike and Jack.

    “Jack, what does it look like up there from your view?” Sophie asked, her voice cracked and hoarse.

    Jack coughed loudly, as he suddenly choked on his own saliva.

    “Darkness, far up ahead, I see nothing but darkness. Hear nothing but darkness. Feel nothing but darkness.” Jack answered as he kicked himself up again.
    “But glad at least there isn’t any Skulks.” Mike said.

    The group climbed on and on, the ladders of which seemed boundless, menacingly high and cold and hard. There was nothing else, nothing other than narrow catwalks, lift doors, emergency control panels, and darkness. There was nothing else. No matter how hard Jack looked, he simply saw that the ladders continued to lead upwards into the eerie darkness. No end was visible.

    Their climbing efficiency rate was fast fading, as the group was extremely exhausted, having been chased by Onii and without any break, they over-estimated themselves and climbed this ladder immediately. They now regretted their decision at not finding another easier way to the thirty-third level.

    Even after twenty minutes, no one talked, for they all wanted to conserve their energy. Mike had even lost count of their current progress.

    Several times a row, Jack found his vision fading and he almost blacked out, which would have certainly been fatal. With every blink, Jack found it harder and harder to open his eyes again. Sweat stained his eyes, his mind was a blank, the only thing to do was to reach out higher and higher. Yet……he must not give up, he must continue on and on……

    It was a torment for the climbing group, no rest, nothing to see; no sign that Reza or Burt was even alive and climbing above them. Grinding their teeth, they struggled against their desires to give up as they just kept climbing up. The stench of their sweaty bodies was stifling. Every muscle in their body ached ceaselessly in protest of no rest.

    On and on they went, and everyone soon gasped with thirst, eyes tired with the over-whelming desire to give up. They knew the mission was far from over, there was little guarantee of finding anymore water supply, so they had to conserve their last bit of water in the bottles.

    Many times in a row, the three found themselves stopping and reaching out for their MREs, but willed themselves to stop and continue on first. No matter what, they must endure! They must continue! They must not give up!

    Jack reached out a clammy hand to grab the next higher bar but he stopped, and his hand drooped and fell by his side. Now hanging with only a single hand at the bar, Jack slowly closed his eyes………he was too tired to continue, too drained of his strength………Jack’s grip on the bar continued to weaken.

    Anytime now, he would drop, and all would be over. He would be able to sleep at last if he closed his eyes.

    <span style='font-family:Times'>"That's my favourite cookie!"
    "Kids! Stop bickering! Everybody gets one!"
    "Mom! Jack took two!"
    "You lost to me in sissors, paper and stone!"
    "Not fair! Not fair!"

    There was laughter and noise everywhere. Little children played on the playground, as Jack and his brother chased each other, their parents watching in amusement.

    Birds chirped in the air as squrriels played on the trees. The trees were strong and green, and the soil wet and fertile. All was happy and warm. These were the good days when Jack had no worries, no sorrow, no troubles.</span>

    A vision of Earth and his family playing on the park drifted through Jack’s mind and his eyes suddenly bolted open. Regaining his senses once more, Jack gripped the bar tightly with both hands.

    A newfound power burned in his eyes. He will not give up now. Not when he still have the last bit of strength to protect all that is dear to him. Not when he still have the power to let someone else experience the same joy he once had.

    Even Mike was grim and silent, he found his strength fast fading from him. His eyes grew heavy. Licking his lips, Mike opened his mouth only to hear an unfamiliar croak. Was this his voice? How could it sound so cracked? Was he really that tired?

    Jack stopped again. “Guys…stop…”
    “What?” Sophie murmured.
    “Take…break…” Jack croaked.

    Sophie looked down at Mike, who nodded in approval. They were definitely too tired to continue.

    Jack hooked his arms and legs from the ladder and hanged from the position. Sophie rested her bottom on one of the catwalks, while Mike climbed upwards and sat beside her. Sweat dripped down their body and drenched the catwalk.

    They knew that willpower alone would not last them much longer.

    Jack drank a gulp of water and cleared his throat before speaking loudly in a clear voice, “Okay guys. Take a break, we rest for five minutes, then we continue on. Try not to sleep.”

    Everyone had their bottles out and drank the water in small sips. For their MREs, they were too hungry to wait and simply shove the whole biscuit into their mouth. MRE biscuits were not the best tasting of food, but in times like these, it easily tasted like the best French Cuisine.

    Mike felt like lying down, but abruptly remembered he had a job to do; he stood on guard with his HMG pointing there. It had already been quite a while, he had little doubt the Kharaa are long-aware of their dead skirmisher.

    At last, Jack gave the alarm call that they had to move on. It was amazing that no one had fallen asleep. It was equally amazing how hard it was to continue on. Everyone fell like staying there and resting, for as long as possible, as long as eternity.

    Deciding to be the first to move, Jack kept his bottle and climbed on. He reached out weakly to hold the next catwalk for support. His hand swept across the catwalk…and he felt something plastic. Immediately, Jack kicked himself higher up to take a better look. There it was, an empty pack of MRE, left there by someone else.
  • Mac1OManMac1OMan Join Date: 2004-10-29 Member: 32510Members, Reinforced - Supporter
    WOW this is really nice, I've never really bothered to scroll down and look in the Fan-Fic part of the forum... I'm not much of the reading type, ive maybe read 20 books, most of them for reports and crap. I really have to say I've been reading from the start trying to get to where it is now... i love the details in all your writing, i read it whenever i get bored at school, like right now i was just reading Chapter 2, after finishing my last final exam on the last day of school! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    maybe when you finish it you can get it published, man that would be awsome, i would be sure to buy it, and introduce it to any i know who i think would be intrested... but anyways its been really good so far and i have a long wayz to go, so keep it up man!
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    edited December 2006
    <!--sizeo:4--><span style="font-size:14pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->7e) The Thirty-third Level<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->

    Jack picked up the empty MRE pack and examined it carefully. It was wet with sweat and littered with small biscuit crumbs. Obviously, someone had just eaten the MRE biscuit and left the empty pack there.

    How long had they climbed this ladder? How long had they fought against their desires to stop? Finally, there was some hint that Burt and Reza may very well be alive.

    “Guys!” He muttered, a tone of thrill and excitement in his voice.

    Jack smiled at last, something he had not done for a very long time. It would take more than a overgrown Onos to kill off the two of 'em.

    Sophie and Mike looked up at Jack with their pale faces and dazed expression, yet he could see from a faint gleam in their eyes; anticipation of his announcement that Reza and Burt were alive and well.

    “They are alright! I repeat! Burt and Reza are alright!” Jack cried, hardly able to contain his excitement.

    Mike gave a choked cheer as he waved a knuckle in the air.

    Jack immediately turned back and climbed up.

    With a strength and determination which surprised even themselves, the group now climbed up the ladder rapidly like never before. There was no proof of it, but Mike’s gut instincts told him that they were nearing the end of the climb, and meeting up with Burt and Reza.

    “Come on guys! Hurry up!” Jack roused Sophie and Mike once more, for the dash of hope from the evidence of Reza's and Burt's well-being pushed him beyond a new limit.

    They were not alone after all. Jack knew Commander Reza to be a wise and understanding Commander. He would be the one man to lead them to victory, to help them save Earth. Jack however, didn't know Burt that well. He had only seen Burt for a while, and besides being generally quiet and always sticking close with Reza, Jack knew nothing else about the stern-face marine. After all, they had almost never chatted before together.

    Sophie’s chest heaved up and down, as she breathed heavily and took a short pause to regain her strength. She couldn’t believe it, Reza was still alive! Smiling, she raised her hand to grab the next bar. Her fingers were strengthless, tired, and sore beyond words. She suddenly found her eyes closing and herself losing conscious.

    No! Slapping herself, Sophie regained herself once again. She couldn't give up now, she couldn't falter, not when they were so close to the top. She must go on!

    Mike now saw Jack under a new light. Jack was once dependant on him, and could not do anything right without others help. It was different now; his best friend was starting to show slight qualities of a well-trained marine. Jack was now the one leading the group, the one raising their morale and spirits. Even he and Sophie were straining to keep up with Jack’s rate of climbing.

    “Mike. How long have we been climbing?” Sophie asked suddenly.
    “Beats me. I mean, if you’ re worried about the bombs, I am sure we are still in time.” Mike assured her.

    He had lost track of time entirely, and deeply hoped that they weren't too late to stop the purified hydrogen bombs from being fired at Earth. If they had taken too much time, Reza and Burt could still move on ahead to stop the bombs on their own, afterall–

    “Heads up! Xenoform!” Jack yelled suddenly and fired.

    A Skulk in front of him was ripped to shreds as powerful HMG bullets pierced through its body and it dropped from the wall, blood splattering out of a dozen holes.

    The three of them dodged to the side as its body sailed past and hurled downwards into the pit.

    Mike and Sophie instantly hanged from the ceiling with just their legs as they aimed their guns about.

    Two Skulks approached stealthily from the bottom, their movements eerily silent and quick.

    Even in the darkness, Mike spotted them and sprayed their bodies with his HMG bullets. They shrieked in pain and lost their grip on the wall, before falling helplessly.

    “Around us!” Sophie warned.

    Without any warning, multiple Skulks crawled towards them rapidly like giant geckos, their teeth and amber eyes glinting from the gunfire.

    Sophie and Jack dispatched the Skulks with their guns easily, and Mike flashed his light at the area below him. What he saw was enough to enough to make his heart skip a beat, and send him shouting out in panic.

    At least twenty Skulks swarmed towards him from the bottom, their jaws opened wet with saliva, and eyes burning with hunger. They were more than thirty metres away, but were climbing up with a terrifying speed.

    Sophie turned to shoot, but she gasped and stopped. The Skulks scrambled below Mike, and his body prevented her from getting a clear shot with her Shotgun.

    “Up! Up! Up!” Mike shouted furiously, and the three of them scrambled upwards at the top of their speed.

    The Skulks made no noise, but Mike knew they were right below him. He climbed several steps and fired down, knocking off several Skulks from the wall, and continued to climb.

    “Faster! They are right below me!” Mike yelled in panic, as he stopped to shoot several more that were getting too close. They died and dropped, but more of these hellish cockroach-like monsters crawled upwards and snapped at his feet.

    Jack got on top of a catwalk and fired down on the Skulks as well, but they continued to approach relentlessly.

    Mike gave a Skulk a kick in the face when it was about to take a bite out of his feet. It cried out in pain and dropped downwards. The other Skulks cared not for the doomed Skulk, and were only concerned about their prey.

    “Goddammit!” Mike roared as his HMG gave an empty click. He slammed his metal boot on the jaw of another Skulk and climbed on ahead.

    The Skulks dropped like flies under the sustained fire of Jack and Sophie, their bodies falling into the darkness and disappearing. Yet, even their combined firepower was not enough to kill off all the Skulks before their clip ran out.

    A Skulk got within an arm's reach of Mike and leapt at him, claws ready to shred into his flesh.

    Mike whipped out his pistol and blasted it between the eyes before evading its attack. The dying creature rammed into the wall and plunged downwards. Another Skulk approached him from below, and he fired the remaining of his pistol clip onto its chest.

    Weakened but not dead, the xenoform sprung up and closed its jaws around Mike's boots.

    Mike gave a cry of fury before he slit its throat with his knife and let its limp body plummet down.

    He swept the area below him with his flashlight a final time to confirm there weren’t any more Skulks before the three of them climbed on.

    They continued on quickly for several more minutes, repeatedly looking downwards for approaching Skulks before climbing on. All of a sudden, Jack stopped at the next level.

    “There is light!” he cried out, excited.

    Somewhere above them, there was a glimmer of brightness.

    Jack crazily scaled the ladder to reach the light. He had no proof; but he was very sure that was the thirty-third level, where Reza and Burt would be waiting.

    The source of the light was within his sight at last and Jack smiled weakly. The lift door to the thirty-third level was open! Light streamed through the door, so dazing bright it hurt his eyes just to look at it. Raising another hand, Jack let out a grunt as he tried to hold the catwalk.

    Suddenly, the light was dimmed and Jack looked up in surprise. The silhouette of a man blocked the door.

    “Who?” Jack couldn't see the face of the man above him.

    A helping hand reached out to Jack, and he raised his sweaty palm and held the hand gladly. He was pulled up by the strong arm and at last, he finally could see Reza’s face. He gave a choked laughter as Reza slinged his arm over his shoulder and carried him to the side.

    “You guys are late.” Reza remarked, grinning. “Welcome to the thirty-third level.”

    Jack went down on his knees as his sweat dripped over the floor. Jack turned to look; Sophie was now being pulled up by Burt. Letting out a final smile, Jack collapsed and laid there like a dead thing.

    <!--sizeo:14--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->End of The Behemoth : Source Part One<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->
  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members
    for chapter 7d.
    a good chapter overall. The way you conveyed their exhaustion was great and I could really sympathise with Jack and company(mainly because my legs are also aching). There is slight humour thrown in. I kinda grinned when Jack and Sophie asked what floor they were on and Burt said "eight". The only major flaw I can find is how you explained silence. It does not seem part of the story and seems to be detaced from eveythign else, therefore, not fittign into the story.

    for chapter 7e.
    about just as good as chapter 7d. The combat sequence was new and unique. Nto many have done fighting on ladders here. However, I do not think that twenty skulks is a feasible number to be chasign them. they would have died by rights I think.

    one more point and i have said it before.

    JACK IS SO NEWB!!!!! <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • strontcilumstrontcilum Join Date: 2005-01-10 Member: 34588Members
    good 1 i think jack is becoming better:) less noob i mean he has killed a skulk:O
    <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif' /><!--endemo-->


    i want to read m000000000000reeeee <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->



    grz shadow
  • BulletHeadBulletHead Join Date: 2004-07-22 Member: 30049Members
    I've seen an HMGer, SG'er, and LMG'er take on ~ 12 skulks no prob

    12 HMG bullets per skulk = ~ 10 dead skulks
    1 SG blast a skulk = 8 dead skulks
    10 LMG bulelts a skulk = 5 more

    that's 22 dead there <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    that is, if you don't miss

    add in their pistols + knives

    and they weren't that fast as they had silence
  • Fire_EelFire_Eel Join Date: 2003-08-19 Member: 19950Members
    Btw, forgot to mention before, but this is exactly the end of part one of The Behemoth : Source.

    I will be continuing the story of course, but not so soon.

    Meanwhile, look to my second fanfic, Alien VS Kharaa.
  • strontcilumstrontcilum Join Date: 2005-01-10 Member: 34588Members
    ah 2 bad just when im getting addict 2 it:P
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