BadMouthIt ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titlJoin Date: 2004-05-21Member: 28815Members
wah. thats sad. losing all your work. does that include the future chapters of BH? i feel your pain. my computer hanged halfway when i was writin my fan fic and i didnt save. took me hald a day to rewrite.
Save often <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
i think hes talking about hes memory was wiped. not that he forgot to save and his comp restarted. id hope that he was smarter than that <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Meh,I've had worse.Remember the old thing about the kid finishes his term paper and trys to save it only to discover microsoft sucks and it refuses to save and his right mouse button is broken from clicking so he can't copy and paste...yeah...Had the same shat happen to me...the menu button on my keyboard has coke IN it that day...
Also,Try typeing something on an electronic typewriter and haveing it go hay wire and start typeing random shat on ya paper...It's espically bad when it can go up/down a line by itself <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
yeah,but these might not be the only survivors.They say it takes quite some time to get from 1 side of BH to another.The war might still be going on somewhere on the other side of the ship.
BadMouthIt ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titlJoin Date: 2004-05-21Member: 28815Members
i seriously doubt if there are any other survivors still fighting on the other side of the ship. i mean, the BH has been gone for months. can any1 survive that long? especially with the onii around.
and in regards to what the onii eats, well, u have to wait until after the story ends before fire eel can release that info. its a shocker <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
IT EATS OTHER ALIENS!nah,jokeing <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
just read through i like it and ooops the time has gone <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Another chapter plz u gotta its addictive i usually dont read stories but i like these <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin-Chubi Chan+Feb 12 2005, 11:53 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Chubi Chan @ Feb 12 2005, 11:53 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> yeah,but these might not be the only survivors.They say it takes quite some time to get from 1 side of BH to another.The war might still be going on somewhere on the other side of the ship. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> the war started on the opposite side of BH and went to the that side so there will be no survivors
Im gonna cry if another chapter don't come soon <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
BadMouthIt ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titlJoin Date: 2004-05-21Member: 28815Members
hey guys. fire eel told me that his computer is down and the current one he is using has no mocrosoft word so u will all have to wait till his comp is fixed. in the meantime.... u can read my story <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Ive read your story 3 times lol and this story up untill now about 3 times aswell lol
keep them coming they cure my boredness in work <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Whered the story go? THis thread has become empty (watches a tumbleweed roll by) I hope Fire eel gets another chapter back up before the audience leaves...
“What is it, Reza?” Burt asked, concerned that something troublesome was up ahead. “We have arrived at a resource nozzel. And it is already been occupied by a damn Gorge, a Resource Chamber, and an Offense Chamber.” Reza replied, carassing his HMG.
Reza peered again. It was a L-Shaped junction, with the lift and Resource Chamber at the very end while the Gorge and Offense Chamber were positioned somewhere near the middle.
The Offense Chamber was a deadly foe nearly as tall as a human. It was a biological structure, seemingly dead but very much alive; just like a plant. It was not capable of moving much but very much capable of killing a human. It had a large blood-red round head like a pincushion of deadly spikes, and was pillared on a thick meaty stem with several metre-long curved spikes at the end as well. This was among the most basic of all Kharaa bio structures, and also one of the most troublesome of all to deal with.
Meanwhile, the Resource Chamber was also a bio structure like the Offense Chamber. It wasn't as deadly, but was no less uglier. It had an enormous oversized head with no eyes, nose or true mouth, but was able to make low unintelligent sounds occasionally. It had two short stubby arms, and grew to more than two metres tall, making it a huge and vulnerable target. There were rumours of Resource Chambers grabbing and attacking humans with its arms, but there have been no truely accurate reports of such a thing happening. However, it was vital that Resource Chambers were taken down as quickly as possible, as they provide resource to other Kharaas.
Resources nozzels like this were very common on spaceships, and especially abundant on one as big as The Behemoth. A resource nozzel is the only safe and reliable way to tap into the incredible amount of nano reserves stored on a spaceship. It comes in the form of the useless nano sludge, but can instantly change into useful nanites to be used if harvested, tapped and purified by a Resource Tower. Unfortunately, the Kharaa have found a way to use the nano sludge as well, using their repulsive Resource Chamber to suck up and absorb the nano sludge, and distrubuting the converted nano as resources to be used by the other Kharaa species. In short, the Kharaa used a resource nozzle almost like the Frontiersmen do.
“No other ways?” Jack asked. “Except through here?” “No other ways. We got to take them out and proceed on.” Reza answered and did a hand signal for cover-me. “Why can't we just throw a damn grenade at them or something?” Jack questioned. “Do you want the entire spaceship of Kharaa to come to us? A H-Grenade attracts way too much attention.” Burt reprimanded Jack as he got into position.
Reza took another quick peep, the Gorge did not move from its position at all. It was nothing but a hideously fat pig-like creature which resembled a sack on fours. It's mouth was shaped like a Skulk's, but it lacked the sharp teeth, and instead, had a weird insect-like mantibite sticking out where it's tongue should be. Through this mantibite, a Gorge attacks with deadly acidic spit, or builds other bio structures. Even so however, these were among the weakest Kharaa, and never meant for frontline combat. They are usually found hiding behind the other species of Kharaa, and healing them and serving as a support.
Reza smiled, this would be good. First thing to do would be to kill the Gorge.
He pointed to Jack and instructed him, “Jack, this is your chance to prove yourself. I want you to take a quick peep at the Gorge and his two foul creations.” Jack swallowed his breath. “But for what?” “You are my backup. I want you to understand the situation before you go rushing in like a bloody idiot.” Reza remarked. “Ye-Yes, Reza!” Jack replied.
Nervous and frightened, Jack decided to take a peep just like Reza. Unfortunately, inexperience along with fear made Jack lean out a little too far, far enough for the Offense Chamber to sense his presense. Immediately, the man-height bio structure got ready its spikes and its head began to swelled up and turned even redder.
At this point in time, Reza heard the unmistakable low-pitch shrill, the indication that the Offense Chamber was readying its deadly spikes. Without any warning, he grabbed Jack and yanked him back. A spike which travelled faster than the eye could see, whizzed past Jack's cheek.
The deadly eight-inch spike was now imbedded deeply into the wall beside them while Jack simply stared with his mouth agap. A neat line of blood trickled down a slight cut on his face. If Reza had not pulled Jack away in the nick of time, he would have been impaled with the spike through his head.
“Do you know how close you were to certain death?!” Reza rebuked Jack as he took another peek, fearing that the Gorge had been aware of their presense.
Amazingly, the Gorge had not move from its position at all! A second of thinking and Reza realised that the Gorge was asleep. What sheer stroke of good luck for us at last, Reza thought gladly.
“Stand back.” Reza instructed. “Get ready to back me up if you see fit, and I don't mean you Jack. I mean the others. Watch and learn.” “Roger that Reza.” Mike said and he held up his Shotgun. “We are right behind you.” Burt added. Sophie spun around. “I will guard our butts against potential sniffy Skulks.”
Jack could say nothing but watch in awe at their teamwork and cooperation.
Counting '1,2,3' under his breath, Reza sprunged out with his HMG and fired at the Gorge first. He had to kill it first or risked it escaping and warning the other Kharaa.
The Gorge squeaked in pain as it aruptly woke up and died. Meanwhile, the Offense Chamber unleashed a volley of dart-like spikes at Reza.
He dodged to the right, and then to the left; but a spike brushed past his shoulder, causing him to flinch in pain and lose his momentum.
“Reza! We are with you!” Mike cried as he charged out with Burt and they fired at the Offense Chamber in unison. There was a brief exchange of spikes and bullets. The Offense Chamber stayed rooted, unable to escape the bullets while the three of them evaded the spikes by darting left and right. Rounds after rounds tore into the thick meaty stem of the Offense Chamber and it suddenly stopped shooting and dooped downwards like a withered flower.
The Gorge now laid on its belly in a pool of greenish-yellowish blood with several holes in its back while the Offense Chamber now seemed to shrunken up as blood begun pouring profusely out of the many holes on its body. A dozen spikes stuck deep in the wall behind them as testimonial to their deadly battle. Reza examined his shoulder.
“How is it Reza?” Sophie asked in concern. “Nah, nothing serious.” He said with a confident smile.
Finally, with a loud splat, the Offense Chamber exploded and its blood and chunks of remains begun splattering everywhere, raining down on Jack who was well ahead and ready to finish off the helpless Resource Chamber.
Jack cried out in surprise as he was covered in the disgusting Kharaa blood, much to the amusment of the others. Jack raised his HMG and aimed at the head of the Resource Chamber. Sensing danger, it turned around to face Jack. Making miserable 'murk murk' cries, the Resource Chamber raised its arms to protect itself. However, its weak and pathetic defense could do little against the piercing rounds of the HMG as the bullets penetrated deep into the Resource Chamber's flesh.
The Resource Chamber begun to quiver and shake as it soon swelled up and exploded into a rain of blood and flesh. This time however, Jack was well out of the way.
“Look!” Jack shouted, pointing forward excitedly. “The lift is right ahead!”
A disappointingly short chapter unfortunately. I had to write this at a friend's house, and without the help of my microsoft word.
Sigh........Sorry guys, my comp is really screwed up right now. I hardly get the internet anymore, let alone write my story.
Nonetheless, whenever I go my friend's hse or something, I will try to write a chapter, and hopefully, the next chapter will be longer.
I am so happy that so many ppl still like my story, makes me so touched, lolz. Seriously, as long as you guys are here to read it, I will be here to write it, even if I can't use my comp anymore.
BadMouthIt ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titlJoin Date: 2004-05-21Member: 28815Members
THANK GOD YOU ARE BACK!
anywayz, nice chapter and i didnt find it short. it was very descriptive, which is good. but i think you made the OC oversized. if it was the same height as a human, the marins would not be able to jump over it, like the would be able to in-game. action was fast and intense. about the RT, i think you give it much more intelligence than it actually has.
as usual, jack newbified himself again.
and the <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif' /><!--endemo--> was definately AFK.
Oh yeah, incase no one realised it. I renamed the alien Resource Tower as Resource Chamber. Ingame, it is still named RT, but in my fanfic, I need to show a difference in their names.
Lolz, I often go afk while I wait for my Gorgie to get some res as well.
Comments
Also,Try typeing something on an electronic typewriter and haveing it go hay wire and start typeing random shat on ya paper...It's espically bad when it can go up/down a line by itself <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
much more important: save to disk <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
and in regards to what the onii eats, well, u have to wait until after the story ends before fire eel can release that info. its a shocker <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tiny.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tiny.gif' /><!--endemo-->
the war started on the opposite side of BH and went to the that side so there will be no survivors
keep them coming they cure my boredness in work <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I hope Fire eel gets another chapter back up before the audience leaves...
“What is it, Reza?” Burt asked, concerned that something troublesome was up ahead.
“We have arrived at a resource nozzel. And it is already been occupied by a damn Gorge, a Resource Chamber, and an Offense Chamber.” Reza replied, carassing his HMG.
Reza peered again. It was a L-Shaped junction, with the lift and Resource Chamber at the very end while the Gorge and Offense Chamber were positioned somewhere near the middle.
The Offense Chamber was a deadly foe nearly as tall as a human. It was a biological structure, seemingly dead but very much alive; just like a plant. It was not capable of moving much but very much capable of killing a human. It had a large blood-red round head like a pincushion of deadly spikes, and was pillared on a thick meaty stem with several metre-long curved spikes at the end as well. This was among the most basic of all Kharaa bio structures, and also one of the most troublesome of all to deal with.
Meanwhile, the Resource Chamber was also a bio structure like the Offense Chamber. It wasn't as deadly, but was no less uglier. It had an enormous oversized head with no eyes, nose or true mouth, but was able to make low unintelligent sounds occasionally. It had two short stubby arms, and grew to more than two metres tall, making it a huge and vulnerable target. There were rumours of Resource Chambers grabbing and attacking humans with its arms, but there have been no truely accurate reports of such a thing happening. However, it was vital that Resource Chambers were taken down as quickly as possible, as they provide resource to other Kharaas.
Resources nozzels like this were very common on spaceships, and especially abundant on one as big as The Behemoth. A resource nozzel is the only safe and reliable way to tap into the incredible amount of nano reserves stored on a spaceship. It comes in the form of the useless nano sludge, but can instantly change into useful nanites to be used if harvested, tapped and purified by a Resource Tower. Unfortunately, the Kharaa have found a way to use the nano sludge as well, using their repulsive Resource Chamber to suck up and absorb the nano sludge, and distrubuting the converted nano as resources to be used by the other Kharaa species. In short, the Kharaa used a resource nozzle almost like the Frontiersmen do.
“No other ways?” Jack asked. “Except through here?”
“No other ways. We got to take them out and proceed on.” Reza answered and did a hand signal for cover-me.
“Why can't we just throw a damn grenade at them or something?” Jack questioned.
“Do you want the entire spaceship of Kharaa to come to us? A H-Grenade attracts way too much attention.” Burt reprimanded Jack as he got into position.
Reza took another quick peep, the Gorge did not move from its position at all. It was nothing but a hideously fat pig-like creature which resembled a sack on fours. It's mouth was shaped like a Skulk's, but it lacked the sharp teeth, and instead, had a weird insect-like mantibite sticking out where it's tongue should be. Through this mantibite, a Gorge attacks with deadly acidic spit, or builds other bio structures. Even so however, these were among the weakest Kharaa, and never meant for frontline combat. They are usually found hiding behind the other species of Kharaa, and healing them and serving as a support.
Reza smiled, this would be good. First thing to do would be to kill the Gorge.
He pointed to Jack and instructed him, “Jack, this is your chance to prove yourself. I want you to take a quick peep at the Gorge and his two foul creations.”
Jack swallowed his breath. “But for what?”
“You are my backup. I want you to understand the situation before you go rushing in like a bloody idiot.” Reza remarked.
“Ye-Yes, Reza!” Jack replied.
Nervous and frightened, Jack decided to take a peep just like Reza. Unfortunately, inexperience along with fear made Jack lean out a little too far, far enough for the Offense Chamber to sense his presense. Immediately, the man-height bio structure got ready its spikes and its head began to swelled up and turned even redder.
At this point in time, Reza heard the unmistakable low-pitch shrill, the indication that the Offense Chamber was readying its deadly spikes. Without any warning, he grabbed Jack and yanked him back. A spike which travelled faster than the eye could see, whizzed past Jack's cheek.
The deadly eight-inch spike was now imbedded deeply into the wall beside them while Jack simply stared with his mouth agap. A neat line of blood trickled down a slight cut on his face. If Reza had not pulled Jack away in the nick of time, he would have been impaled with the spike through his head.
“Do you know how close you were to certain death?!” Reza rebuked Jack as he took another peek, fearing that the Gorge had been aware of their presense.
Amazingly, the Gorge had not move from its position at all! A second of thinking and Reza realised that the Gorge was asleep. What sheer stroke of good luck for us at last, Reza thought gladly.
“Stand back.” Reza instructed. “Get ready to back me up if you see fit, and I don't mean you Jack. I mean the others. Watch and learn.”
“Roger that Reza.” Mike said and he held up his Shotgun.
“We are right behind you.” Burt added.
Sophie spun around. “I will guard our butts against potential sniffy Skulks.”
Jack could say nothing but watch in awe at their teamwork and cooperation.
Counting '1,2,3' under his breath, Reza sprunged out with his HMG and fired at the Gorge first. He had to kill it first or risked it escaping and warning the other Kharaa.
The Gorge squeaked in pain as it aruptly woke up and died. Meanwhile, the Offense Chamber unleashed a volley of dart-like spikes at Reza.
He dodged to the right, and then to the left; but a spike brushed past his shoulder, causing him to flinch in pain and lose his momentum.
“Reza! We are with you!” Mike cried as he charged out with Burt and they fired at the Offense Chamber in unison. There was a brief exchange of spikes and bullets. The Offense Chamber stayed rooted, unable to escape the bullets while the three of them evaded the spikes by darting left and right. Rounds after rounds tore into the thick meaty stem of the Offense Chamber and it suddenly stopped shooting and dooped downwards like a withered flower.
The Gorge now laid on its belly in a pool of greenish-yellowish blood with several holes in its back while the Offense Chamber now seemed to shrunken up as blood begun pouring profusely out of the many holes on its body. A dozen spikes stuck deep in the wall behind them as testimonial to their deadly battle. Reza examined his shoulder.
“How is it Reza?” Sophie asked in concern.
“Nah, nothing serious.” He said with a confident smile.
Finally, with a loud splat, the Offense Chamber exploded and its blood and chunks of remains begun splattering everywhere, raining down on Jack who was well ahead and ready to finish off the helpless Resource Chamber.
Jack cried out in surprise as he was covered in the disgusting Kharaa blood, much to the amusment of the others. Jack raised his HMG and aimed at the head of the Resource Chamber. Sensing danger, it turned around to face Jack. Making miserable 'murk murk' cries, the Resource Chamber raised its arms to protect itself. However, its weak and pathetic defense could do little against the piercing rounds of the HMG as the bullets penetrated deep into the Resource Chamber's flesh.
The Resource Chamber begun to quiver and shake as it soon swelled up and exploded into a rain of blood and flesh. This time however, Jack was well out of the way.
“Look!” Jack shouted, pointing forward excitedly. “The lift is right ahead!”
Sigh........Sorry guys, my comp is really screwed up right now. I hardly get the internet anymore, let alone write my story.
Nonetheless, whenever I go my friend's hse or something, I will try to write a chapter, and hopefully, the next chapter will be longer.
I am so happy that so many ppl still like my story, makes me so touched, lolz. Seriously, as long as you guys are here to read it, I will be here to write it, even if I can't use my comp anymore.
anywayz, nice chapter and i didnt find it short. it was very descriptive, which is good. but i think you made the OC oversized. if it was the same height as a human, the marins would not be able to jump over it, like the would be able to in-game. action was fast and intense. about the RT, i think you give it much more intelligence than it actually has.
as usual, jack newbified himself again.
and the <!--emo&::gorge::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif' /><!--endemo--> was definately AFK.
Lolz, I often go afk while I wait for my Gorgie to get some res as well.
Few grammatical and spelling errors, but good chapter otherwise.