First Dates.
<div class="IPBDescription">What do YOU guys expect/go for?</div> okay. So... for those that don't know, I recently got out of a serious (living together), 2 year relationship; I just had my first date since that breakup. Suffice to say this guy seemed to be going for a lot more than he should have. I wasn't terribly uncomfortable, because I've had to deal with this before; on the other hand...
My question to you guys: What do you expect, hope for? What would you be (honestly expecting) and dissappointed by not getting? A good-bye kiss? To put your arm around her waist? What's 'proper' or general etiquette?
What would be the polite, but firm way to tell a guy he's going too far?
My question to you guys: What do you expect, hope for? What would you be (honestly expecting) and dissappointed by not getting? A good-bye kiss? To put your arm around her waist? What's 'proper' or general etiquette?
What would be the polite, but firm way to tell a guy he's going too far?
Comments
me, what do i expect and hope for...
i never plan out the results of a date.. but i really only date people i've known for a little bit, and if i know them, i will <b>expect</b> that they'll be as tactful, respectful, and kind as i knew them to be outside of the dating game.
a two-faced date is one of the things i hate the most in this world.
<b>edit:</b> when i'm not "dating" as stated above, i call it "getting to know" or "hanging out", so i don't hurt my ego as badly if something goes wrong <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /><!--endemo-->
and i forgot to ask your question.
i've found that a politer way of saying "BACK OFF, YOU TESTICLE-BRAINED TROGLODYTE/F* HAPPY BIMBO" when they go in for an unwanted kiss or something is saying firmly but kindly, "nuh uh.."
you can't really say anything to that except "why..?" or "come on!" and both of those are really easy to answer.
"why...?" *keeps trying to make out with you*
[still kind but <b>firm</b>] "because i said so."
"come on!"
[still kind but <b>firm</b>] "no/mm-mm/nuh-uh."
"Nu-uh".
If he says "Comon", then- date over. He isn't worth it, period.
If he says "Why Not", give your reasons.
Frankly on the first date, I would expect at most a longer-than-usual hug. But otherwise, its all up to the girl and I expect nothing more, unless we resolve during it "We just aren't made for eachother."
if i go to far i want the girl to tell me its to soon or shes uncomfortable, because if she doesnt then its not like it should be, she doesnt enjoy it or shes nervous or somethin. i usually ask if they like it or somethin, but i believe the best way to be told no is something like, its to soon right now, or im not comfortable with that, or just a quick hand moving mine. id have no problem with that.
i usually go out with girls i know quite well so i can tell how far i should go, and what the might like or might not.
"Nu-uh".
If he says "Comon", then- date over. He isn't worth it, period.
If he says "Why Not", give your reasons.
Frankly on the first date, I would expect at most a longer-than-usual hug. But otherwise, its all up to the girl and I expect nothing more, unless we resolve during it "We just aren't made for eachother." <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
..... o_o
That's all I got, and it was more than worth it.
i usually just expect to have fun and get to know the girl. i'm really sort of a shy guy tho, so i dont try anyting too quick.
i also expect to pay for it. guys, if you dont, i pity you.
i guess the real question here is, what do GIRLS expect out of the first date? cuz it would help us all out...
But, I rarely get dates, just drunken flings....
err....I mean.....
<--- goes back to drinking
blaqwulf i'm sorry to say that this is an outdated, almost confucianistic practice :o
the person who "hosts" the date pays. always.
after all, if you were a girl in our 21st century, would you invite a guy on a date to a restaurant and not bring any money...?
if so, please never date me in a future life.
as a girl, i don't really 'expect' anything other than we hang out, get a feel for each other (NOT PHYSICALLY!)... you know, that sort of thing. I mean, it's the first time... I'm not exactly going to cuddle up to a stranger.
When a guy tries to kiss me, and ... I don't know if there's a term for it, but I turn so he gets cheek instead of lips - is that not obvious enough? 'Cause it wasn't for this guy :/
i think that's a fault of his, then.. and not yours..
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->as a girl, i don't really 'expect' anything other than we hang out, get a feel for each other (NOT PHYSICALLY!)... you know, that sort of thing. I mean, it's the first time... I'm not exactly going to cuddle up to a stranger. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
well that's how most decent people feel about a serious conventional date.
but sometimes.. don't you ever just have a weird date that just spins out of control and into a blissful sexual abandon?
by that, i mean to say.. what's your number? <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /><!--endemo-->
pity away, im not paying for some girls free dinner. in the relationship im going for, money wouldnt play a part of it. im not going to be some cling-on's "sugardaddy".
when i go out on 'dates', i dont have limits. ill go as far as im feeling, i dont walk into a date going "im not going any futher than x!!", ill see what happens and go along with it.
same with girls. i dont expect to get anything, ill just read them and see what she's feeling.
ill go in, hang out, and see where it takes me. i dont expect anything.
blaqwulf i'm sorry to say that this is an outdated, almost confucianistic practice :o
the person who "hosts" the date pays. always.
after all, if you were a girl in our 21st century, would you invite a guy on a date to a restaurant and not bring any money...?
if so, please never date me in a future life. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
i disagree... i think the guy should ALWAYS pay for the first day... even if the girl set it up...
that's just my belief anyway... i couldn't stand NOT paying...
To be honest, most of the time I go in expecting absolutely nothing besides company. Of course that's mostly driven by the nerd side of my personality.
Normal people use a different guage.
add a bit more "HUZZAH" and no lady can resist! <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I've never been on a date so I dont know. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo-->
And if any of you knew my age, that fact would be all the more embarrassing.
Anonymity++;
19?
That's not that bad.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->when i go out on 'dates', i dont have limits. ill go as far as im feeling, i dont walk into a date going "im not going any futher than x!!", ill see what happens and go along with it.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah. Like, I don't really have exact lines - but I don't *expect* for things to really get that far on a first date, particularly if I'm just not warming up to the guy.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->but sometimes.. don't you ever just have a weird date that just spins out of control and into a blissful sexual abandon<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Been there, done that, wish it happened more often. Sigh.
19? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo-->
**hides in nuclear fallout shelter with mutant cyclopean worms of dewm**
I wonder where that bunker is that chronos is hiding in. We both ought to go there...