Breaking up sucks
moultano
Creator of ns_shiva. Join Date: 2002-12-14 Member: 10806Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Gold, NS2 Community Developer, Pistachionauts
Creator of ns_shiva. Join Date: 2002-12-14 Member: 10806Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue, Reinforced - Shadow, WC 2013 - Gold, NS2 Community Developer, Pistachionauts
<div class="IPBDescription">What do _you_ do to get over it?</div>Not looking for advice, just ideas.
What do <i>you</i> do to get over it?
Some observations:
The internet has some really interesting effects on the dynamics of breaking up. For starters, I can't take all of her pictures down. I've got them publicly posted all over. Secondly, as ridiculous as it sounds, the moment that really marked the end of our two year relationship was when we agreed to change our status on facebook. That seems silly, and debasing, but in reality that served as an official announcement to all of our friends.
What do <i>you</i> do to get over it?
Some observations:
The internet has some really interesting effects on the dynamics of breaking up. For starters, I can't take all of her pictures down. I've got them publicly posted all over. Secondly, as ridiculous as it sounds, the moment that really marked the end of our two year relationship was when we agreed to change our status on facebook. That seems silly, and debasing, but in reality that served as an official announcement to all of our friends.
Comments
Speaking of friends, now is the time to hang with them. All of them... lean on their shoulders.
Booze and drugs are not the answer, and another woman is certainly not what you need immediately.
Do some soul searching, and find out what you want in the future. Do not jump out of the frying pan and into the fire - bad advice.
Am I trying to "own" the person as if they were my sports car, tv or comp? Or am I doing what I can to make them happy? And what do they see in me?
You know what they say: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.
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Let's not forget:
<img src="http://beer.thetazzone.com/images/drinkBeer9.jpg" border="0" alt="IPB Image" />
Two best cures for a breakup.
Depot had it spot on.. rely on your friends, and keep busy, if you are a wow gamer? roll a new alt on a new realm or sth, just keep busy watch 300 back to back! anything goes <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile-fix.gif" />
Sorry to hear about your break up btw <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" /> sucks ive broken up on 2 years, and 2.4 years... it seems that after 2 years, things always get tough, cos its no longer just fun.. then its getting serious. and some hold, some dont <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile-fix.gif" />
keep your chin up
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
ofcourse it saddens everyones heart, especially if you tend to grow apart after 2 years.
he/she is not there anymore.
But then again, now that you dont have that time to spend with someone else, perhaps doing something you'd wanted to do all along, but never gotten around to do ?
like go traveling, or parachuting (just examples)
what life taught me, coping with loss, is a change of environment is nice.
break out of the circles that you have been in for so long.
It will only remind you of things in the beginning.
later on you will remember things and smile, when the pain has dulled abit.
like someone once told me,
if its not present inside you, you can search the world for it, outside you ,without ever finding it.
Thus the replacing something with something simular is not a good idea.
Same goes for drugs or alcohol, no need looking for salvation in a bottle in a substance or anything else.
the solution is inside you.
no matter how hard you run from the truth, it will bite you in the ######.
i must also give you appraise for being able to break a long relationship off.
its easy just to keep on going for a while to see if it straightens out, and again and again.
anyway.
bottom line after my rant is
start something new, hobby, activity, whatever you please.
change of environment is nice, travel for instance.
o well, this is just how i think of it.
like go traveling, or <b>parachuting</b> (just examples)
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Femme, we all like you and stuff.
but seriously, telling the boy to go jump out of a plane is NOT a good idea at this point.
on an actual note:
It of course depends on yourself.
When my previous GF (of nearly 3 years) broke up with me I spent most of my time online (here and IRC tbh, kinda lame, isn't it? However we shared ALL of the same friends, and thus making it kinda hard). Talking to people that were not involved in the situation let me space my self from it for a little while, allowing me to collect my thoughts and move on.
Once I was able to think about what went wrong with out beating my self up about it it helped a lot.
Now (a few years latter) I just passed my 1 year anniversary with my current GF, and spent the weekend with all of my old friends from HS (as we are all now back home from college). Including my current and past GF with no feeling of regret, remorse or anything, just enjoying spending time with my friends and my gf.
im not telling him anything.
christ thansal, youre allowed to think for yourself youknow
I actually agree with Femme that going and doing new things/changing other can help a lot. One of the things I left out is that I moved shortly after it happened to me.
So keep this in mind when you're bedhopping during recovery - it's quite easy to get attached, at this point in your life, to someone for all the wrong reasons.
It is VERY good therapy to change habits too, like watching TV from a different chair, sleeping on a different side of the bed, shopping at different stores, etc. This will help you in your grieving process immensely.
I guess what it boils down to is that there's no right answer, besides keeping busy and trying to keep your mind off it. It hurts less and less as time goes on provided you keep yourself from fixating on it, by keeping busy.
you could also put in some extra hours at work. maybe do what you can to get a promotion or something so when that next gal comes along youve got more money so she wont leave you. because women are money-grubbing leaches. all of them.
Im with my friends, partying, working out and be as active as i can be.
I no not blame myself whatever happened.
I put everything behind me and looking forward to whatever happens next.
The best thing <b>for me</b> to get over the relationship/someone, is to be with other people.
Then my feelings is starting to get over to the person im with.
Don't ever get a GF! that's a perfectly reasonable way to never break up..oh wait. I made myself sad <img src="style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad-fix.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad-fix.gif" />
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Actually I was going to say something simliar XD
Yeah, drink, drugs and casual sex. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
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What he said.
Still, if you're like me, keeping busy is hard to help out with things, as my mind wanders and I think about many different things, no matter what I do, so... it's hard to keep my mind off something, especially when I have many memories tied to tons of different things, whether they be scents, sounds, or sights. That's probably normal, though.
So really, my advice probably isn't the best to take, but I have heard others saying they basically try to keep busy, unless they really feel good about breaking up already. You'll probably feel better after a nap.
Post nude pictures of her on the internet for everyone to see! Aha! REVENGE IS SWEET
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I almost did that once =d luckily I kept my head, because I wound up getting back together with her for another ~5 years, to the present =p
So I do understand you old friend.
Not giving yourself the time to think about her and want her back will do wonders on the weekdays. Once the weekend rolls around, you've got 2 nights to get smashed and pork other chicks. Sunday, get back to studying and/or working.
If you can keep it up, you'll be over her soon enough.
"Hi im a gurl :3"
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Do that.
Or you could just be a man and acquire some women of questionable sexual deviance. Threesomes work.