Forum Game: If Shakesphere Was A Programmer

DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
edited June 2003 in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">or "when dorks are bored at 4am"</div>I was trying to go to sleep last night at about 4am and I don't know why or how this popped into my head, but i had a nifty little idea for a forum game we can play...

Basically, take one old fashioned Shakesphere quote, and then put it into how Shakesphere would code it, if he were a programmer. Yes, its a stupid game. What do you expect at 4:30am? :P

Rules:
- Logic can be a bit "fuzzy" in order to make it read right, but all syntax must be correct. I.E. You could compile it if you wanted to.
- The quote doesn't have to be 100% dead on if you want to substitute similar words from the quote to similar keywords...
- Don't bother writing full programs, just the code snipplet relevant to the quote.
- Use whatever programming language you want. C++, Perl, COBOL, hell use ASM if it floats your boat...
- use the [ CODE ] UBB tags
- You don't have to declare everything. You can make assumptions that some variables are objects, and/or that the code is inside another function or whatever. Just have fun with it.

I'll start it off with an easy one:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
if ( toBe() || !(toBe()) )
{
    question = this;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
«1

Comments

  • SirusSirus Join Date: 2002-11-13 Member: 8466Members, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    Doom... you are sooooo nubly. :D
  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
    *Knows nothing about programming* I feel stupid!
  • Vinegar_NinjaVinegar_Ninja Join Date: 2003-01-12 Member: 12211Members
    doom is the nubiest nub that ever did nub a nub!
    my god, you double standard grammer nazi <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • ScytheScythe Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 46NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation, Reinforced - Silver
    edited June 2003
    Tehehe.

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    if ((dagger.location == "before") && (dagger.orientation == "hand"))
         macbeth.mentalstate == "loony";
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    After of course defining a "dagger" datatype struct with location and orientation and another for macbeth.

    --Scythe--
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    You think that's nubly, I bet nobody gets this one:

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->Flower rose = new Flower();
    rose.setName("Rose");
    Flower x = new Flower();
    if (rose.getSmell() == x.getSmell())
    {
        x.setName(rose.getName());
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    And I wonder why I have no friends :P
  • SirusSirus Join Date: 2002-11-13 Member: 8466Members, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    edited June 2003
    Why a rose by any other name would smell as sweet or something..

    /me scrambles to google
  • localhost2600localhost2600 Join Date: 2002-12-04 Member: 10448Members
    how bout regular expressions

    /(bb|[^b]{2})/

    (not sure if thats right thou)

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    bool ques(toBe)
    if(question == toBe) || (question == !toBe)
    {
      return this;
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    bah i give up
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    Congrats sirus! you got it!

    I'm suprised nobody got the first one, which was immensly easier...
  • SirusSirus Join Date: 2002-11-13 Member: 8466Members, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    To be or not to be, that is the question.
  • BurrBurr Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9358Members
    edited June 2003
    I know a little about programming, but not much.

    so, lets try (if its wrong, please don't jump me and bust a cap in my ***)

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    if (p r i c k == us)
    {
    return bleed
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    if you know the quote, then help me out, like I said, I only know some programming, but I really suck at it.
  • SpceM0nkeySpceM0nkey Join Date: 2003-01-19 Member: 12480Members
    I think you will find it is Shakespeare not Shakesphere. But you seem to have used up all the quotes i know off the top of my head that are suitable for code.

    Was thinking on using

    Double bubble, toil and trouble

    maybe a play on double as a type, and as logic operator.

    ill think about it
  • [WHO]Them[WHO]Them You can call me Dave Join Date: 2002-12-11 Member: 10593Members, Constellation
    edited June 2003
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    person WhoToBeTrueTo( void ) {
       personlist *pFinder = personlist_Head
       while( pFinder ) {
           if(pFinder->identity == ThineOwnSelf) return pFinder;
           pFinder = pFinder->Next;
       }
       return nobody;
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->


    meh, might have gone overboard
  • CatpokerCatpoker Join Date: 2002-06-25 Member: 816Members
    its funny, becuase at this very moment, i am sitting here with my <u>C++ For Dummies All in One</u> in my lap, and am wasting time on these fourms, not wanting to dive into the chapter about Source files....

    plus its 1:30 am here....
  • TwexTwex Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4999Members
    edited June 2003
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    world.type=STAGE;
    for (int i=0; i<world.population; i++)
      if (person[i].gender==MALE || person[i].gender==FEMALE)
      person[i].type=PLAYER;
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
  • JammerJammer Join Date: 2002-06-03 Member: 728Members, Constellation
    edited June 2003
    if(dagger.location() = "Before Me")
    {
    bool isCrazy=true;
    }

    EDIT: More!

    CString rose="Sweet";
    CString dafodil;
    dafodil=rose;
  • OkaboreOkabore Join Date: 2002-11-21 Member: 9505Members
    Got a short one

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    if((flesh=#) && !(flesh> #) && !(flesh< #))
      loan.paid= true;
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
  • RaserRaser Join Date: 2003-05-09 Member: 16154Members
    Othello:
    This is the night
    That either makes me, or undoes me quite

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    public Boolean isThisTheNight (Boolean b)
    {
        if (b == true)
        {
            Object Othello = new Object("Othello")
            Othello.continuePlay();
        }
         else
        {
            System.exit(1);
        }
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Members
    edited June 2003
    <!--QuoteBegin--DOOManiac+Jun 12 2003, 12:31 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Jun 12 2003, 12:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    I'll start it off with an easy one:
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    if ( toBe() || !(toBe()) )
    {
        question = this;
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Ah god that's funny <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->.

    I was actually thinking the other day about how cool it would be to write working code which rhymes, and then here comes this - my idea in reverse <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

    Let's see... shakespeare quote... shakespeare quote.... who was "Shakesphere", by the way? Sick of shaking spears, he's on to shaking spheres? <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->if(Tybalt.isSlain)
    {
    Tybalt.say("Oh, I am slain!\n");
    }
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->if(Juliet.isl33t)
    {
    Juliet.say("R0m30, R0m30, wh3r3f0r3 4r7 7h0u, d00d? j00 pwn!\n");
    }<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    One more mangled one, which would look wierd in code, so:
    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"He thinketh not, he moveth not, he stirreth not, he smoketh pot". "He smoketh <i>what</i>?" "He smoketh pot. I joketh not, he smoketh pot."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    this->thread.AmTehWin = true;
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    r00fles, I didn't really expect this to catch on. Now I know I'm not the crazy only one, and now we can all be easily identified by traceroutes to our IP's and then thrown into the nuthouse where we belong. A <b>binary</b> nuthouse baby!
  • KuronekoKuroneko Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 7184Members, Constellation
    edited June 2003
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->010010010010000001110111011011110110111001100100011001010111001000100000011101110110100001111
    001001000000100100100100111011011010010000001110000011011110111001101110100011010010110111001100111
    001111110010000001001101011000010111100101100010011001010010000001101001011101000010011101110011001
    000000110001001100101011000110110000101110101011100110110010100100000010010010010000001101010011101
    010111001101110100001000000111011101100001011011100111010001100101011001000010000001110100011011110
    010000001110101011100110110010100100000011011010111100100100000011011000011001100110011011101000010
    000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100100000011100110110101101101001011011000110110
    001111010001111110010000001010000011100100110111101101100011011000111100100101100001000000100100100
    100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110111010001101000011010010110111001100
    111001000000110001001100101011101000111010001100101011100100010000001110100011011110010000001100100
    011011110010000001100001011101000010000000110100001110100011000000110111011000010110110100100000011
    011110110111000100000011000010010000001010111011001010110010001101110011001010111001101100100011000
    010111100100100000011011100110100101100111011010000111010000101111010101000110100001110101011100100
    111001101100100011000010111100100100000011011010110111101110010011011100110100101101110011001110010
    100001101000011011110111011101100101011101100110010101110010001000000111100101101111011101010010000
    001101100011011110110111101101011001000000110000101110100001000000110100101110100001010010010111000
    100000010011010110000101111001011000100110010100100000010010010010000001110011011010000110111101110
    101011011000110010000100000011001110110010101110100001000000110001001100001011000110110101100100000
    011101000110111100100000011100110110111101101101011001010111010001101000011010010110111001100111001
    000000110110101101111011100100110010100100000011010010110110101110000011011110111001001110100011000
    010110111001110100001000000110110001101001011010110110010100101110001011100010111001110101011010000
    110100001101000001011100010111000101110001011100111001101101111011011010110010101110100011010000110
    100101101110011001110010000001001001001001110110110100100000011100110111010101110010011001010010111
    000101110001011100110110101100001011110010110001001100101001000000111000001110010001100000110111000
    111111001000000111000001110010001100000110111000100000011010010111001100100000011001110110111101101
    11101100100001011100010111000101110<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
  • tbZBeAsttbZBeAst Join Date: 2003-01-26 Member: 12755Members
    O
    M
    G.


    (sounds of revolving in grave)
  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->JCeaser c = new JCeaser();
    if (c.health == 0)
        out.println("Et tu Brute?");<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--DOOManiac+Jun 12 2003, 04:07 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Jun 12 2003, 04:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->JCeaser c = new JCeaser();
    if (c.health == 0)
        out.println("Et tu Brute?");<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    System.out.println() <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • LucidRealityLucidReality Join Date: 2003-02-13 Member: 13496Members
    edited June 2003
    <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
    [html][header]
    Shakespear
    [/header][body][title][color=green]
    Shakespear
    --------------------
    10 things i hate about you
    [/color][/title][/body][/html]
    <!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

    I know, i suck. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> Umm, messed up, imagine all the ['s are <'s <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • RPG_JssmfulhudRPG_Jssmfulhud Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 4006Members
    This has to be the funniest thread idea of 'em all! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • ShockehShockeh If a packet drops on the web and nobody&#39;s near to see it... Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9336NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation
    Binary you say?

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I wonder why I'm posting? Maybe it's because I just wanted to use my "elite" binary skillz? Prolly, I have nothing better to do at 4:07am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning(however you look at it). Maybe I should get back to something more important like...uhhh....something I'm sure...maybe pr0n? pr0n is good...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Don't be clever. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Ph0enixPh0enix Join Date: 2002-10-08 Member: 1462Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--Shockwave+Jun 12 2003, 12:01 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Shockwave @ Jun 12 2003, 12:01 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Binary you say?

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I wonder why I'm posting? Maybe it's because I just wanted to use my "elite" binary skillz? Prolly, I have nothing better to do at 4:07am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning(however you look at it). Maybe I should get back to something more important like...uhhh....something I'm sure...maybe pr0n? pr0n is good...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Don't be clever. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Kuroneko, you sir, have been owned <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Cereal_KillRCereal_KillR Join Date: 2002-10-31 Member: 1837Members
    my head... my poor poor head <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Nemesis_ZeroNemesis_Zero Old European Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 75Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    In case someone needs inspiration, <a href='http://the-tech.mit.edu/Shakespeare/' target='_blank'>here</a>'s the complete works of Shakespeare.
  • CowswinCowswin Join Date: 2003-03-17 Member: 14623Banned, Constellation
    <CFSET flowername = "rose">
    <CFSET flowersmell = "">

    <CFIF flowername NEQ "rose">
    <CFSET flowersmell = "sweet">
    <CFELSE>
    <CFSET flowersmell = "sweet">
    </CFIF>

    <CFOUTPUT>
    A #flowername# by any other name would smell as #flowersmell#.
    </CFOUTPUT>
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