Forum Game: If Shakesphere Was A Programmer

DOOManiac · June 2003

<div class="IPBDescription">or "when dorks are bored at 4am"</div>I was trying to go to sleep last night at about 4am and I don't know why or how this popped into my head, but i had a nifty little idea for a forum game we can play...

Basically, take one old fashioned Shakesphere quote, and then put it into how Shakesphere would code it, if he were a programmer. Yes, its a stupid game. What do you expect at 4:30am? :P

Rules:
- Logic can be a bit "fuzzy" in order to make it read right, but all syntax must be correct. I.E. You could compile it if you wanted to.
- The quote doesn't have to be 100% dead on if you want to substitute similar words from the quote to similar keywords...
- Don't bother writing full programs, just the code snipplet relevant to the quote.
- Use whatever programming language you want. C++, Perl, COBOL, hell use ASM if it floats your boat...
- use the [ CODE ] UBB tags
- You don't have to declare everything. You can make assumptions that some variables are objects, and/or that the code is inside another function or whatever. Just have fun with it.

I'll start it off with an easy one:
</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
if ( toBe() || !(toBe()) )
{
question = this;
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

Sirus · June 2003

Doom... you are sooooo nubly. :D

Liku · June 2003

*Knows nothing about programming* I feel stupid!

Vinegar_Ninja · June 2003

doom is the nubiest nub that ever did nub a nub!
my god, you double standard grammer nazi <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>

Scythe · June 2003

Tehehe.

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
if ((dagger.location == "before") && (dagger.orientation == "hand"))
macbeth.mentalstate == "loony";
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

After of course defining a "dagger" datatype struct with location and orientation and another for macbeth.

--Scythe--

DOOManiac · June 2003

You think that's nubly, I bet nobody gets this one:

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>Flower rose = new Flower();
rose.setName("Rose");
Flower x = new Flower();
if (rose.getSmell() == x.getSmell())
{
x.setName(rose.getName());
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

And I wonder why I have no friends :P

Sirus · June 2003

Why a rose by any other name would smell as sweet or something..

/me scrambles to google

localhost2600 · June 2003

how bout regular expressions

/(bb|[^b]{2})/

(not sure if thats right thou)

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
bool ques(toBe)
if(question == toBe) || (question == !toBe)
{
return this;
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

bah i give up

DOOManiac · June 2003

Congrats sirus! you got it!

I'm suprised nobody got the first one, which was immensly easier...

Sirus · June 2003

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Burr · June 2003

I know a little about programming, but not much.

so, lets try (if its wrong, please don't jump me and bust a cap in my ***)

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
if (p r i c k == us)
{
return bleed
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

if you know the quote, then help me out, like I said, I only know some programming, but I really suck at it.

SpceM0nkey · June 2003

I think you will find it is Shakespeare not Shakesphere. But you seem to have used up all the quotes i know off the top of my head that are suitable for code.

Was thinking on using

Double bubble, toil and trouble

maybe a play on double as a type, and as logic operator.

ill think about it

[WHO]Them · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
person WhoToBeTrueTo( void ) {
personlist *pFinder = personlist_Head
while( pFinder ) {
if(pFinder->identity == ThineOwnSelf) return pFinder;
pFinder = pFinder->Next;
}
return nobody;
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

meh, might have gone overboard

Catpoker · June 2003

its funny, becuase at this very moment, i am sitting here with my <u>C++ For Dummies All in One</u> in my lap, and am wasting time on these fourms, not wanting to dive into the chapter about Source files....

plus its 1:30 am here....

Twex · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
world.type=STAGE;
for (int i=0; i<world.population; i++)
if (person[i].gender==MALE || person[i].gender==FEMALE)
person[i].type=PLAYER;
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

Jammer · June 2003

if(dagger.location() = "Before Me")
{
bool isCrazy=true;
}

EDIT: More!

CString rose="Sweet";
CString dafodil;
dafodil=rose;

Okabore · June 2003

Got a short one

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
if((flesh=#) && !(flesh> #) && !(flesh< #))
loan.paid= true;
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

Raser · June 2003

Othello:
This is the night
That either makes me, or undoes me quite

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
public Boolean isThisTheNight (Boolean b)
{
if (b == true)
{
Object Othello = new Object("Othello")
Othello.continuePlay();
}
else
{
System.exit(1);
}
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

SoulSkorpion · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Jun 12 2003, 12:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
I'll start it off with an easy one:
</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
if ( toBe() || !(toBe()) )
{
question = this;
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
Ah god that's funny <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'>.

I was actually thinking the other day about how cool it would be to write working code which rhymes, and then here comes this - my idea in reverse <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

Let's see... shakespeare quote... shakespeare quote.... who was "Shakesphere", by the way? Sick of shaking spears, he's on to shaking spheres? <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>if(Tybalt.isSlain)
{
Tybalt.say("Oh, I am slain!\n");
}
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>if(Juliet.isl33t)
{
Juliet.say("R0m30, R0m30, wh3r3f0r3 4r7 7h0u, d00d? j00 pwn!\n");
}</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

One more mangled one, which would look wierd in code, so:
</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>"He thinketh not, he moveth not, he stirreth not, he smoketh pot". "He smoketh <i>what</i>?" "He smoketh pot. I joketh not, he smoketh pot."</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

this->thread.AmTehWin = true;

DOOManiac · June 2003

r00fles, I didn't really expect this to catch on. Now I know I'm not the crazy only one, and now we can all be easily identified by traceroutes to our IP's and then thrown into the nuthouse where we belong. A <b>binary</b> nuthouse baby!

Kuroneko · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>010010010010000001110111011011110110111001100100011001010111001000100000011101110110100001111
001001000000100100100100111011011010010000001110000011011110111001101110100011010010110111001100111
001111110010000001001101011000010111100101100010011001010010000001101001011101000010011101110011001
000000110001001100101011000110110000101110101011100110110010100100000010010010010000001101010011101
010111001101110100001000000111011101100001011011100111010001100101011001000010000001110100011011110
010000001110101011100110110010100100000011011010111100100100000011011000011001100110011011101000010
000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100100000011100110110101101101001011011000110110
001111010001111110010000001010000011100100110111101101100011011000111100100101100001000000100100100
100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110111010001101000011010010110111001100
111001000000110001001100101011101000111010001100101011100100010000001110100011011110010000001100100
011011110010000001100001011101000010000000110100001110100011000000110111011000010110110100100000011
011110110111000100000011000010010000001010111011001010110010001101110011001010111001101100100011000
010111100100100000011011100110100101100111011010000111010000101111010101000110100001110101011100100
111001101100100011000010111100100100000011011010110111101110010011011100110100101101110011001110010
100001101000011011110111011101100101011101100110010101110010001000000111100101101111011101010010000
001101100011011110110111101101011001000000110000101110100001000000110100101110100001010010010111000
100000010011010110000101111001011000100110010100100000010010010010000001110011011010000110111101110
101011011000110010000100000011001110110010101110100001000000110001001100001011000110110101100100000
011101000110111100100000011100110110111101101101011001010111010001101000011010010110111001100111001
000000110110101101111011100100110010100100000011010010110110101110000011011110111001001110100011000
010110111001110100001000000110110001101001011010110110010100101110001011100010111001110101011010000
110100001101000001011100010111000101110001011100111001101101111011011010110010101110100011010000110
100101101110011001110010000001001001001001110110110100100000011100110111010101110010011001010010111
000101110001011100110110101100001011110010110001001100101001000000111000001110010001100000110111000
111111001000000111000001110010001100000110111000100000011010010111001100100000011001110110111101101
11101100100001011100010111000101110</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

tbZBeAst · June 2003

O
M
G.

(sounds of revolving in grave)

DOOManiac · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>JCeaser c = new JCeaser();
if (c.health == 0)
out.println("Et tu Brute?");</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

SoulSkorpion · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Jun 12 2003, 04:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>JCeaser c = new JCeaser();
if (c.health == 0)
out.println("Et tu Brute?");</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
System.out.println() <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>

LucidReality · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'>
[html][header]
Shakespear
[/header][body][title][color=green]
Shakespear
--------------------
10 things i hate about you
[/color][/title][/body][/html]
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

I know, i suck. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'> Umm, messed up, imagine all the ['s are <'s <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'>

RPG_Jssmfulhud · June 2003

This has to be the funniest thread idea of 'em all! <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'>

Shockeh · June 2003

Binary you say?

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>I wonder why I'm posting? Maybe it's because I just wanted to use my "elite" binary skillz? Prolly, I have nothing better to do at 4:07am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning(however you look at it). Maybe I should get back to something more important like...uhhh....something I'm sure...maybe pr0n? pr0n is good...</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

Don't be clever. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>

Ph0enix · June 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Shockwave @ Jun 12 2003, 12:01 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Binary you say?

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>I wonder why I'm posting? Maybe it's because I just wanted to use my "elite" binary skillz? Prolly, I have nothing better to do at 4:07am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning(however you look at it). Maybe I should get back to something more important like...uhhh....something I'm sure...maybe pr0n? pr0n is good...</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>

Don't be clever. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
Kuroneko, you sir, have been owned <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

Cereal_KillR · June 2003

my head... my poor poor head <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'>

Nemesis_Zero · June 2003

In case someone needs inspiration, <a href='http://the-tech.mit.edu/Shakespeare/' target='_blank'>here</a>'s the complete works of Shakespeare.

Cowswin · June 2003

<CFSET flowername = "rose">
<CFSET flowersmell = "">

<CFIF flowername NEQ "rose">
<CFSET flowersmell = "sweet">
<CFELSE>
<CFSET flowersmell = "sweet">
</CFIF>

<CFOUTPUT>
A #flowername# by any other name would smell as #flowersmell#.
</CFOUTPUT>

Forum Game: If Shakesphere Was A Programmer

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