Forum Game: If Shakesphere Was A Programmer

DOOManiac

<div class="IPBDescription">or "when dorks are bored at 4am"</div>I was trying to go to sleep last night at about 4am and I don't know why or how this popped into my head, but i had a nifty little idea for a forum game we can play...

Basically, take one old fashioned Shakesphere quote, and then put it into how Shakesphere would code it, if he were a programmer. Yes, its a stupid game. What do you expect at 4:30am? :P

Rules:
- Logic can be a bit "fuzzy" in order to make it read right, but all syntax must be correct. I.E. You could compile it if you wanted to.
- The quote doesn't have to be 100% dead on if you want to substitute similar words from the quote to similar keywords...
- Don't bother writing full programs, just the code snipplet relevant to the quote.
- Use whatever programming language you want. C++, Perl, COBOL, hell use ASM if it floats your boat...
- use the [ CODE ] UBB tags
- You don't have to declare everything. You can make assumptions that some variables are objects, and/or that the code is inside another function or whatever. Just have fun with it.

I'll start it off with an easy one:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
if ( toBe() || !(toBe()) )
{
    question = this;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Sirus

Doom... you are sooooo nubly. :D

Liku

*Knows nothing about programming* I feel stupid!

Vinegar_Ninja

doom is the nubiest nub that ever did nub a nub!
my god, you double standard grammer nazi <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

Scythe

Tehehe.

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
if ((dagger.location == "before") && (dagger.orientation == "hand"))
     macbeth.mentalstate == "loony";
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

After of course defining a "dagger" datatype struct with location and orientation and another for macbeth.

--Scythe--

DOOManiac

You think that's nubly, I bet nobody gets this one:

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->Flower rose = new Flower();
rose.setName("Rose");
Flower x = new Flower();
if (rose.getSmell() == x.getSmell())
{
    x.setName(rose.getName());
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

And I wonder why I have no friends :P

Sirus

Why a rose by any other name would smell as sweet or something..

/me scrambles to google

localhost2600

how bout regular expressions

/(bb|[^b]{2})/

(not sure if thats right thou)

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
bool ques(toBe)
if(question == toBe) || (question == !toBe)
{
  return this;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

bah i give up

DOOManiac

Congrats sirus! you got it!

I'm suprised nobody got the first one, which was immensly easier...

Sirus

To be or not to be, that is the question.

Burr

I know a little about programming, but not much.

so, lets try (if its wrong, please don't jump me and bust a cap in my ***)

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
if (p r i c k == us)
{
return bleed
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

if you know the quote, then help me out, like I said, I only know some programming, but I really suck at it.

SpceM0nkey

I think you will find it is Shakespeare not Shakesphere. But you seem to have used up all the quotes i know off the top of my head that are suitable for code.

Was thinking on using

Double bubble, toil and trouble

maybe a play on double as a type, and as logic operator.

ill think about it

[WHO]Them

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
person WhoToBeTrueTo( void ) {
   personlist *pFinder = personlist_Head
   while( pFinder ) {
       if(pFinder->identity == ThineOwnSelf) return pFinder;
       pFinder = pFinder->Next;
   }
   return nobody;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->


meh, might have gone overboard

Catpoker

its funny, becuase at this very moment, i am sitting here with my <u>C++ For Dummies All in One</u> in my lap, and am wasting time on these fourms, not wanting to dive into the chapter about Source files....

plus its 1:30 am here....

Twex

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
world.type=STAGE;
for (int i=0; i<world.population; i++)
  if (person[i].gender==MALE || person[i].gender==FEMALE)
  person[i].type=PLAYER;
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Jammer

if(dagger.location() = "Before Me")
{
bool isCrazy=true;
}

EDIT: More!

CString rose="Sweet";
CString dafodil;
dafodil=rose;

Okabore

Got a short one

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
if((flesh=#) && !(flesh> #) && !(flesh< #))
  loan.paid= true;
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

Raser

Othello:
This is the night
That either makes me, or undoes me quite

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
public Boolean isThisTheNight (Boolean b)
{
    if (b == true)
    {
        Object Othello = new Object("Othello")
        Othello.continuePlay();
    }
     else
    {
        System.exit(1);
    }
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

SoulSkorpion

<!--QuoteBegin--DOOManiac+Jun 12 2003, 12:31 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Jun 12 2003, 12:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
I'll start it off with an easy one:
<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
if ( toBe() || !(toBe()) )
{
    question = this;
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2--> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ah god that's funny <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->.

I was actually thinking the other day about how cool it would be to write working code which rhymes, and then here comes this - my idea in reverse <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

Let's see... shakespeare quote... shakespeare quote.... who was "Shakesphere", by the way? Sick of shaking spears, he's on to shaking spheres? <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->if(Tybalt.isSlain)
{
Tybalt.say("Oh, I am slain!\n");
}
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->if(Juliet.isl33t)
{
Juliet.say("R0m30, R0m30, wh3r3f0r3 4r7 7h0u, d00d? j00 pwn!\n");
}<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

One more mangled one, which would look wierd in code, so:
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"He thinketh not, he moveth not, he stirreth not, he smoketh pot". "He smoketh <i>what</i>?" "He smoketh pot. I joketh not, he smoketh pot."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

this->thread.AmTehWin = true;

DOOManiac

r00fles, I didn't really expect this to catch on. Now I know I'm not the crazy only one, and now we can all be easily identified by traceroutes to our IP's and then thrown into the nuthouse where we belong. A <b>binary</b> nuthouse baby!

Kuroneko

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->010010010010000001110111011011110110111001100100011001010111001000100000011101110110100001111
001001000000100100100100111011011010010000001110000011011110111001101110100011010010110111001100111
001111110010000001001101011000010111100101100010011001010010000001101001011101000010011101110011001
000000110001001100101011000110110000101110101011100110110010100100000010010010010000001101010011101
010111001101110100001000000111011101100001011011100111010001100101011001000010000001110100011011110
010000001110101011100110110010100100000011011010111100100100000011011000011001100110011011101000010
000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100100000011100110110101101101001011011000110110
001111010001111110010000001010000011100100110111101101100011011000111100100101100001000000100100100
100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110111010001101000011010010110111001100
111001000000110001001100101011101000111010001100101011100100010000001110100011011110010000001100100
011011110010000001100001011101000010000000110100001110100011000000110111011000010110110100100000011
011110110111000100000011000010010000001010111011001010110010001101110011001010111001101100100011000
010111100100100000011011100110100101100111011010000111010000101111010101000110100001110101011100100
111001101100100011000010111100100100000011011010110111101110010011011100110100101101110011001110010
100001101000011011110111011101100101011101100110010101110010001000000111100101101111011101010010000
001101100011011110110111101101011001000000110000101110100001000000110100101110100001010010010111000
100000010011010110000101111001011000100110010100100000010010010010000001110011011010000110111101110
101011011000110010000100000011001110110010101110100001000000110001001100001011000110110101100100000
011101000110111100100000011100110110111101101101011001010111010001101000011010010110111001100111001
000000110110101101111011100100110010100100000011010010110110101110000011011110111001001110100011000
010110111001110100001000000110110001101001011010110110010100101110001011100010111001110101011010000
110100001101000001011100010111000101110001011100111001101101111011011010110010101110100011010000110
100101101110011001110010000001001001001001110110110100100000011100110111010101110010011001010010111
000101110001011100110110101100001011110010110001001100101001000000111000001110010001100000110111000
111111001000000111000001110010001100000110111000100000011010010111001100100000011001110110111101101
11101100100001011100010111000101110<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

tbZBeAst

O
M
G.


(sounds of revolving in grave)

DOOManiac

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->JCeaser c = new JCeaser();
if (c.health == 0)
    out.println("Et tu Brute?");<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

SoulSkorpion

<!--QuoteBegin--DOOManiac+Jun 12 2003, 04:07 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Jun 12 2003, 04:07 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->JCeaser c = new JCeaser();
if (c.health == 0)
    out.println("Et tu Brute?");<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
System.out.println() <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

LucidReality

<!--c1--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>CODE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='CODE'><!--ec1-->
[html][header]
Shakespear
[/header][body][title][color=green]
Shakespear
--------------------
10 things i hate about you
[/color][/title][/body][/html]
<!--c2--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--ec2-->

I know, i suck. <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo--> Umm, messed up, imagine all the ['s are <'s <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

RPG_Jssmfulhud

This has to be the funniest thread idea of 'em all! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

Shockeh

Binary you say?

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I wonder why I'm posting? Maybe it's because I just wanted to use my "elite" binary skillz? Prolly, I have nothing better to do at 4:07am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning(however you look at it). Maybe I should get back to something more important like...uhhh....something I'm sure...maybe pr0n? pr0n is good...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Don't be clever. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

Ph0enix

<!--QuoteBegin--Shockwave+Jun 12 2003, 12:01 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Shockwave @ Jun 12 2003, 12:01 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Binary you say?

<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I wonder why I'm posting? Maybe it's because I just wanted to use my "elite" binary skillz? Prolly, I have nothing better to do at 4:07am on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning(however you look at it). Maybe I should get back to something more important like...uhhh....something I'm sure...maybe pr0n? pr0n is good...<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Don't be clever. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Kuroneko, you sir, have been owned <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

Cereal_KillR

my head... my poor poor head <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->

Nemesis_Zero

In case someone needs inspiration, <a href='http://the-tech.mit.edu/Shakespeare/' target='_blank'>here</a>'s the complete works of Shakespeare.

Cowswin

<CFSET flowername = "rose">
<CFSET flowersmell = "">

<CFIF flowername NEQ "rose">
<CFSET flowersmell = "sweet">
<CFELSE>
<CFSET flowersmell = "sweet">
</CFIF>

<CFOUTPUT>
A #flowername# by any other name would smell as #flowersmell#.
</CFOUTPUT>