The Lava War Thread

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  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    edited March 2017
    Skope wrote: »

    "Hey... you finished making music in there, baby? 'Cause I'm ready to show my true colours, you shocking thing."

    I was about ready to empty my bowels at this part.

    This is not a good mental image.
    I regret making this.
    Seriously, turn back now. You don't want to see it.
    I'm warning you!
    Fine, if you want it so badly then here
    Hey, it was worth a shot.
    34vwhfp9fy7u.jpg



  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
    edited March 2017
    arf, that made a true mess here. I'm sending you the bill of the laundry, @Skope. I can't clean this with what I have here

    Battle Report:https://rolz.org/dr?room=Subnautica

    Active powers:

    UCR = have a 1/10 summon the ancient god Snekzilla. If this happens, then they automatically win the engagement.

    1st Battle: UCR x Lava Empire at O2. UCR attacks with 4 armies. Lava Empire defends with 3 armies.

    Selected value for 1st battle = 8

    Dice value for Snekzilla = 10

    Summoning failed. Rolling dices for armies

    UCR (first 3 dices) = 5, 4, 1

    Lava Empire = 6, 4, 3

    2nd roll for remaining dices:

    UCR (last rolls for remaining dice) = 6, 1

    Lava Empire (rolls for two dices, one at the time) = 2, 2

    Attack failed. Lava Empire keeps O2 with 2 armies.

    2nd Battle: UCR x Lava Empire at O3. UCR attacks with 2 armies. Lava Empire defends with 4 armies.

    Selected value for 2nd battle = 3

    Dice value for Snekzilla = 7

    Summoning failed. Rolling dices for armies:

    UCR = 1, 1

    Lava Empire = 5, 2

    Attack failed. Lava Empire keeps O3 with 4 Spine Eels.
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
  • SkopeSkope Wouldn't you like to know ;) Join Date: 2016-06-07 Member: 218212Members
    arf, that made a true mess here. I'm sending you the bill of the laundry, @Skope. I can't clean this with what I have here

    Battle Report:https://rolz.org/dr?room=Subnautica

    Active powers:

    UCR = have a 1/10 summon the ancient god Snekzilla. If this happens, then they automatically win the engagement.

    1st Battle: UCR x Lava Empire at O2. UCR attacks with 4 armies. Lava Empire defends with 3 armies.

    Selected value for 1st battle = 8

    Dice value for Snekzilla = 10

    Summoning failed. Rolling dices for armies

    UCR (first 3 dices) = 5, 4, 1

    Lava Empire = 6, 4, 3

    2nd roll for remaining dices:

    UCR (last rolls for remaining dice) = 6, 1

    Lava Empire (rolls for two dices, one at the time) = 2, 2

    Attack failed. Lava Empire keeps O2 with 2 armies.

    2nd Battle: UCR x Lava Empire at O3. UCR attacks with 2 armies. Lava Empire defends with 4 armies.

    Selected value for 2nd battle = 3

    Dice value for Snekzilla = 7

    Summoning failed. Rolling dices for armies:

    UCR = 1, 1

    Lava Empire = 5, 2

    Attack failed. Lava Empire keeps O3 with 4 Spine Eels.

    Well that failed miserably...
  • CalvinTheDiverCalvinTheDiver A place Join Date: 2016-10-08 Member: 222971Members
    I ship Pater x DJ Ampeel
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
    I ship Pater x DJ Ampeel

    Nooooooo
  • the_marinerthe_mariner US of A Join Date: 2016-12-29 Member: 225653Members
    - Deploy 2 reefbacks to IG2
    - Move 2 reefbacks to EC

    FIELD REPORT PHLX/89P/023 – PHALANX UNIT:
    Good news: our forces have moved up to support the UCR troops stationed at Entrance C. Hopefully, it'll help prevent Imperial forces from retaking Entrance C like they did the first time.

    As a side note, what was with the Peeper recon unit stationed there at the time? They reported that it was an attack by a massive Spine Eel swarm, when really it was a Sea Dragon. Either someone screwed up along the chain of intelligence, or Peepers are just really stupid.

    Back on track. Bad news: literally everything else.

    Remember how the UCR attempted to breach into the inner chamber? Yeah, that failed miserably. On the initial breach, UCR forces faced a Spine Eel force of about equivalent size. However, the Spine Eels' agility proved key to their victory. The Crabsnake forces were forced back to the main entrance after suffering massive casualties. In a final, valiant effort, the remaining troops launched a desperate assault on the inner chamber. Frontline recon reports zero survivors thus far.

    They gave their lives in a battle that they hoped would mean something. Instead, they died for nothing.

    And as if that weren't enough, we received a communique from Noble Cleanser. Apparently DJ Ampeel is alive - except she's being kept in horrific conditions, forced to pump out propaganda daily for the Lava Empire, and is being guarded by a pathetic excuse of a Mesmer who deserves to burn for all eternity. Although we may not wield the power of fire, we can get pretty damn close. As soon as we get our hands on him, we'll be turning him over to the FMMA. It'll be fun to watch what they do to him.

    However, as humans say, this cloud has a silver lining - General Bonecruncher is alive!!! Apparently, the maniac managed to start a riot that helped a large amount of Ampeels escape imprisonment. Bonecruncher's always been reckless, but he's one of our best.

    Our mission still stands, now more than ever - Assist Noble Cleanser in retrieving both DJ Ampeel and General Bonecruncher. Rescuing DJ Ampeel will deal a crippling blow to Pater Aestus' propaganda capabilities, and General Bonecruncher will provide both a massive morale boost and the strategic thinking needed to topple the Empire once and for all.

    I don't know if we'll make it out alive, let alone if we'll win. All we can do is take the next chance, and the next, until we win...or our chances are spent.

    Hopefully, it doesn't come to that. Rychus out.
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
    @PaterAestus, your reinforcements

    3 Spine Eels

    2 Lava Lizards

    1 Lava Larva
  • Enderguy059Enderguy059 Australia Join Date: 2015-10-15 Member: 208486Members
    @PaterAestus @Skope @Casual_Player You do realize that I was referring to the Mesmer? Right?

    If not...
    Really? Honestly, this song and a facepalm sums up my reaction.

  • Nautical_NickNautical_Nick Australia Join Date: 2016-06-12 Member: 218444Members
    Skope wrote: »

    "Hey... you finished making music in there, baby? 'Cause I'm ready to show my true colours, you shocking thing."

    I was about ready to empty my bowels at this part.

    This is not a good mental image.
    I regret making this.
    Seriously, turn back now. You don't want to see it.
    I'm warning you!
    Fine, if you want it so badly then here
    Hey, it was worth a shot.
    34vwhfp9fy7u.jpg
    @PaterAestus @Skope @Casual_Player You do realize that I was referring to the Mesmer? Right?

    If not...
    Really? Honestly, this song and a facepalm sums up my reaction.

    Ugh! Can we please move onto another topic, this is going to give me paranoia and maybe even a brain haemorrhage. That's how WEIRD it is! (Sarcasm for the most part, but still... Just no)
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    Past few day summed up
  • Nautical_NickNautical_Nick Australia Join Date: 2016-06-12 Member: 218444Members
    edited March 2017
    Hehhhhhhhhhhh........ Can we please just forget about the unhygienic Mesmer (Sounds so WEIRD!).
  • Enderguy059Enderguy059 Australia Join Date: 2015-10-15 Member: 208486Members
    Hehhhhhhhhhhh........ Can we please just forget about the unhygienic Mesmer (Sounds so WEIRD!).

  • Nautical_NickNautical_Nick Australia Join Date: 2016-06-12 Member: 218444Members
    Hehhhhhhhhhhh........ Can we please just forget about the unhygienic Mesmer (Sounds so WEIRD!).


    Is he okay?
  • KingPhantomKingPhantom Switzerland Join Date: 2017-02-27 Member: 228351Members
    wow... at 13:17.... enough internet for today
  • Nautical_NickNautical_Nick Australia Join Date: 2016-06-12 Member: 218444Members
    wow... at 13:17.... enough internet for today

    I think your in the wrong place...
  • CalvinTheDiverCalvinTheDiver A place Join Date: 2016-10-08 Member: 222971Members
    Mesmer is best waifu
  • Enderguy059Enderguy059 Australia Join Date: 2015-10-15 Member: 208486Members
    Mesmer is best waifu

    Don't be daft, she's a little slut.
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
    Mesmer is best waifu

    Don't be daft, she's a little slut.
    Dr. Himmelreich, head of the FMMA Institute, had troubles with her before. For all his analytical personality and intelligence, he, to this day, never managed to discover how a power sword from many ground troops managed to acquire rust, plus many troops reporting to duty with what appeared to be a miriad of bite marks, strangely placed on then, allegedly after theses soldiers came into contact with this mesmer, during one of the first great feasts after many FMMA citizens (soldiers and civilians) managed to transfer to biological bodies. All of the involved troops blame the drinks served that night, with allegations of "alcoholic amnesia". Himmelreich has a hipothesys, though, and it was associated with the first peak of birth rates of FMMA female citizens. The doctor, however, feels that some misteries are best left unchecked (like the not so secret reason of why these feasts were called bacchanalian parties). Together with his duties, there's a space schelduled to come up with a decent excuse for all this developments among the citizenry to Aurora, the MIA de-facto leader of FMMA. He prays to this day that, whatever comes when Aurora returns, that it is quick and painless. But, he knows better, and already made sure everything cutting around him is as sharp as possible.

    @PaterAestus, it's your turn.
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
  • the_marinerthe_mariner US of A Join Date: 2016-12-29 Member: 225653Members
    Pater? You there, mate?
  • kingkumakingkuma cancels Work: distracted by Dwarf Fortress Join Date: 2015-09-25 Member: 208137Members
    Since he's not responding, I'll just put in another meme.
    m5fclf2m1xls.png
    Credits to @BENSKI for original image.
  • SkopeSkope Wouldn't you like to know ;) Join Date: 2016-06-07 Member: 218212Members
    Pater needs to get over here before this thread spirals out of control into the meme abyss.

    I don't think the war would survive a full-on onslaught of memes.
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
  • ResolutionBlazeResolutionBlaze The Dunes Join Date: 2016-04-06 Member: 215392Members
    kingkuma wrote: »
    Since he's not responding, I'll just put in another meme.
    m5fclf2m1xls.png
    Credits to @BENSKI for original image.

    I need this Leviathan in my ranks.
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
    kingkuma wrote: »
    Since he's not responding, I'll just put in another meme.
    m5fclf2m1xls.png
    Credits to @BENSKI for original image.
    kingkuma wrote: »
    Since he's not responding, I'll just put in another meme.
    m5fclf2m1xls.png
    Credits to @BENSKI for original image.

  • CalvinTheDiverCalvinTheDiver A place Join Date: 2016-10-08 Member: 222971Members
    kingkuma wrote: »
    Since he's not responding, I'll just put in another meme.
    m5fclf2m1xls.png
    Credits to @BENSKI for original image.
    kingkuma wrote: »
    Since he's not responding, I'll just put in another meme.
    m5fclf2m1xls.png
    Credits to @BENSKI for original image.

    Lag less Larry
  • Casual_PlayerCasual_Player That...is a really good question Join Date: 2016-08-30 Member: 221875Members
    Second call @PaterAestus. Are you there?
  • PaterAestusPaterAestus Join Date: 2017-01-03 Member: 225985Members
    I apologize for the wait.

    Planning the destruction of you Aboveworlders is quite time consuming.

    I know you mortals are just dying to see my plans.

    REINFORCEMENTS

    I place 2 Spine Eels at O2

    I place 1 Spine Eel at EC in Entrance A

    I place 1 Lava Lizard at C1

    I place 1 Lava Lizard at IG2 in Entrance B

    I place 1 Lava Larva at IG2 in Entrance B

    I make no movements or attacks.

    Not yet.
  • phantomfinchphantomfinch West Philadelphia , born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Join Date: 2016-09-06 Member: 222128Members
    I apologize for the wait.

    Planning the destruction of you Aboveworlders is quite time consuming.

    I know you mortals are just dying to see my plans.

    REINFORCEMENTS

    I place 2 Spine Eels at O2

    I place 1 Spine Eel at EC in Entrance A

    I place 1 Lava Lizard at C1

    I place 1 Lava Lizard at IG2 in Entrance B

    I place 1 Lava Larva at IG2 in Entrance B

    I make no movements or attacks.

    Not yet.

    Ayyy good to see you back, now get ready for an ass woppin boi.
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