<!--QuoteBegin--uranium - 235+Nov 30 2002, 08:36 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (uranium - 235 @ Nov 30 2002, 08:36 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->A horde of PETA activists <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo--> Now that's a scary thought.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> The horror! No... wait. I'm sure that hte PETA people would get eaten first. So its a good idea.
I'm glad that people find this topic so funny. I'd hoped this would make people happy.
<!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> "What part of "DIE!" don't you understand!?" <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo-->
<b><span style='color:green'>***SPORED*** Language and stuff.</span></b>
I've got it! Change the music in the ready room to the theme from the "X-files!!" <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
Redo the alien voices with sounds from famous actors/people
Gorges: Janet Reno (See if that Gorge is still cute now! Huh!)
Skulk: Danny DeVito
Lerks: Will Ferrell
Fades: Antonio Banderas
and of course...
Onos: David Hasselhoff
(I don't care if you disagree with my choices for the other voices...but for the sake of this thread, <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo--><b><i><u>David Hasselhoff</u></i></b> <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo--> is the king onos! =P
Ok. I agree, cell phones in NS would be awesome, but has anyone thought of the downside to this, because it seems pretty clear to me...... (an example of the problem)
I know for sure while Im reloading my gun I wouldnt be too impressed if I was stuck in between two marines having a WAZZUP convo.
This may seem pretty strange but has anyone noticed the similarity between this smilies mouth <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> and a G-String. seems quite funny to me.
Hoo boy, dont think mine will compare to the hilarity in this thread, but here goes:
Skulks get the 'can opener' ability at hive 3. When a skulk leaps onto a HA marine a big grinding noise is heard, the HA spins around slowly, and he loses all his armor.
Moonwalk competitions for marines in the readyroom (marines dont have a working backpedal animation at this point)
Peptobismol guns for the marines. If sprayed directly at a fades mouth, it prevents the fade from using its bild bomb or acid rocket weapons for 1 minute.
How about whenever the random "Now, we donce" comes up... all the aliens start dancing on the spot for a minute or two. Do the gorge!
ns_racetrack! Kind of like those "matrix" starcraft user made maps where you have to stop a set number of enemies from going from point a - b. (If anyone knows what I'm talking about) But the marines have full access to the outside of the track. Aliens have a timer and have to get as many through as they can. After a skulk makes it to the end, he is sent to the hive location where one can build stuff (they get resources for completing the course) and when they are ready they can go try the track again. Marines meanwhile get one or two res node (depending this will be based on balance issues) and res for certain number of kills. The marines can never reach alien hives but after a certain amount of time (say 10 minutes) they win. But the khara win if they make it through the track enough times. There is an invisible wall in between the track and the marine area that if one or the other touches, will kill them instantly (but can shoot through of course)
hmm... come to think of it... that's a great idea! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
"Alien gorge, alien gorge, Does whatever a builder can, Spits a webs, any size, Cant you see? Just like flyes Look ouuuuut, here comes the Gorgy-Maaaaaan...., Is he strong ? Listen budd, Hes got bacterium-active guts, Can he swing,from a threat? Take a look, down the head, Hey theeeeere, heres goes the Gorgy-Maaaaaaan......., At the chill of night, At the warning of a hive, By the corridors of shadows, He arrives, just too lATE.... Alien gorge, alien gorge, Badly noobie-like Gorgy-Man, When hes seen, Hes ignored, Total shame is his reward, Too hiiiiim, life a bigly meesss up, Where ever theres a hive up, You find a Gorgy-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANn.." Copyright' "(SoD)Flying-**obscenity**", all rights reserved.
I think there should be a new type of turret that doesn't work with either team, but rather fires laser bolts at both aliens and marines. This turret would replicate itself and try to clense the level of all life. These lasers could shoot as a continuous beam and through walls, out to a certain range. These turrets would appear at random instead of offensive chambers or marine turrets, with an increased chance of appearing with each turret a team builds.
im seirously STILL laughing at that Gorgy Man thing <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
just incase no one noticed, i believe that it was set to the tune of the original Spider Man theme song. genious, i tells ya. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
this thread is hilarious. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
I second the pet button. Skulks should also have a whole plethora of chuckles. Marines can feed them. It can be like a big happy Sim game. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
I think we need to see some maps with NPCs. For example, PETA activists trying to "Save the poor Skulks!" They'll try to net them while the Marines shoot. The activists are fair game for both sides. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--Flying-Bastard+Dec 3 2002, 02:09 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flying-Bastard @ Dec 3 2002, 02:09 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"Alien gorge, alien gorge, Does whatever a builder can, Spits a webs, any size, Cant you see? Just like flyes Look ouuuuut, here comes the Gorgy-Maaaaaan...., Is he strong ? Listen budd, Hes got bacterium-active guts, Can he swing,from a threat? Take a look, down the head, Hey theeeeere, heres goes the Gorgy-Maaaaaaan.......,<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Heh, another "They Might Be Gorges" song.
"Building a hive in the dark".
A gorge came up to me and said, "I'd like to build a new hive" "With walls of lame and def towers" "Though I am not unkind"
It looked at me, I looked at something written across its scalp And these are the words that it faintly read as I radio'd for help
"Theres only one thing that I know how to do well, And I've often been told that you can only do what you know how to do well, and that's be you, be what you're like be like yourself and so I'm having a wonderful time but I'd rather be building a hive in the dark building a hive in the dark, building a hive in the dark, building a hive in the dark, building a hive in the dark, building a hive in the dark, theres only one thing that I like and that is building a hive in the dark".
A skulk came up to me and said, "I'd like to change your mind". "I'll change it with a parasite", "Though I am not unkind".
We laughed at his little joke, and then I happily walked away, but the little **obscenity** bit the back of my head then everything went grey.
"Theres only one thing that I know how to do well, And I've often been told that you can only do what you know how to do well, and that's be you, be what you're like be like yourself and so I'm having a wonderful time but I'd rather be chomping marines in the dark chomping marines in the dark, chomping marines in the dark, chomping marines in the dark, chomping marines in the dark, chomping marines in the dark, theres only one thing that I like and that is chomping marines in the dark".
Hee hee hee... how about whenever an Onos is killed, all the aliens freeze, the marine main base goes dark and lights up with disco lights, and a speaker booms out: "Stop! It's HAMMERTIME!"
And then all the Marines sing: "Dum do do do, dah do, dah do, CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" While the marine that killed the Onos dances.
<a href='http://members.aol.com/uranium235ftp/CantTouchThis.zip' target='_blank'>Click here to download the .wav clip that should play</a> (The reason it's crappy is because I cut and edited it myself, because the real song goes backwards then what I wanted it to do)
i hpe u guyz put in this gnu i made its relly col an wood balense the gam ei think itd be seweeet.
This is a gun I scripted as an admin 'tool' in Tribes2, BTW <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> The guy holding it is a model nearly 5x taller then a normal player, just to give you an idea of how rediculously big it is. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> Fires
Heavy Lasers Pulse Lasers Seeker Missiles Plasma Bombs Heavy Cannon Mortars
And now for something completely different! <img src='http://www.tribes2.org/forums/images/smilies/grenade.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
<!--QuoteBegin--uranium - 235+Dec 3 2002, 03:29 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (uranium - 235 @ Dec 3 2002, 03:29 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Nice... how long did that take you to write?<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Took 'bout 10 minutes... To be played to the tune of "Whisteling in the Dark" by They Might Be Giants.
I honestly wanna see people in the ready room able to serve up drinks at the bar in that one map. It would be awesome. I mean come on... the DEV's made this seemingly un thought of modification to halflife, my mind couldn't even understand how somebody could have such an imagination, and skill. It seriously blows CS out of the water like a good prostitute would.
Also additions to come to the waiting room... <b>(hand held "weapons")</b> .. although they would not inflict damage -Toilet Paper (TP those benches!) -Duct tape!!! tape stuff -Slap fights (post game anger relief) *me slaps onos* "whos the **obscenity** nowww??" -Cup with a drink in it... (picked up by the bar) (sip it too much and you pass out) -Beach ball to throw (once thrown.. you lose it, and it can be picked up again) -Break dancing -Congo line -Bob saggot signed asbestos oven mitts -Dandruff shampoo
I think we should have another game in the waiting room that greases up a gorge, and lets them go... as everybody tries to catch it.
.. btw .. as marine.. jump on top of a turret.. crouch.. get somebody to look at you =) <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::sentry::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/turret.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='turret.gif'><!--endemo--> -awesome little looking bug- **obscenity** CANNON!!! hrm.. wonder about sieges
What, no thoughts on my post above? ^^^ <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--QuoteBegin--BigDXLT+Dec 1 2002, 04:14 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (BigDXLT @ Dec 1 2002, 04:14 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->How about whenever the random "Now, we donce" comes up... all the aliens start dancing on the spot for a minute or two. Do the gorge!<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> That's random? I thought it meant you were about to wh0re the marines (I know I'm skirting the filter, but it's not a bad use of it). We once brought two hives up at the exact same time (Making three) and all had 66 resources... and it said 'Now we dance!' and I was like: Yeeeeha!
1. "I'm a grunt and I don't care!" -"I'm a grunt and I don't care!" "A skulk might drop right in my hair!" -"A skulk might drop right in my hair!" "Oh no!" -"Oh no!" "An Ono!" -"An Ono!" "No seriously, it's coming right this way!" -"No seriously, it's coming right this way!" "Run you morons!" -"Run you morons!"
2. i can see it now a lone gorge running from 5 HA's with HMG's bumping up and down singing "stayin' alive, stayin' alive, stayin' aliiiiiiiiive"
3. A one hour lunch break. Here is what this would look like:
A fade is charging a marine who suddenly runs out of ammo. The fade rushes faster toward the marine who is now backing away. The marine trips! The fade lunges in for the kill, he can almost taste the humans blood! He extends his mighty claws! Then suddenly! A whistle sounds and a voice over the intercom says "Lunch break, half an hour!"
The Fade stops and says "Almost had you that time fank." Chuckling as he helps the human off the ground and dusting off his armor. "Yah," Frank says. "Wish my comm would give me ammo when I ask for it." He then said "I woul've had you if my gun had been upgraded.", grinning. The two walk side by side toward the lunch room, chatting and laughing. ..................................
Hmmmm maybe I should seriously consider to try that second point...
BTW I am lmao for about 10 minutes now! Keep em coming! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
i could see and onos running around like god himself killin marines trashing bases, eating turrets and just feeling the glory that is onos and then.....
a marine arrives geard with that huge suit that uranium posted...
the onos would just turn and exit via the nearest airlock mumbling bout "st00p1d h4x0rz ru1n1n9 w0rld d0m1n4t10n, wh47 15 7h15 s7uff" return to his homeworld and join the Onos version of Green Peace.
I had an ns experience this morning that I just had to share.
The relevant point to this story came during a harrowing half-hour at about 5:30 in the a.m., when I had just logged onto a new server looking for people. I joined up as a marine and the game started. In captain's chair was someone named [NAME DELETED FOR PLAYER'S SAFETY], who professed to have experience commanding. Yay. So, I go about my happy marine tasks of guarding base, repelling intruders, and building structures to secure our position. Then I realize something: of the 99 initial resource points available to the marines, our com had just used them all to build eight spawn portals. All in one big clump. In the middle of the room. A few marines politely protested, asking if we shouldn't be setting up an armory or turrets or anything at all that wasn't spawn portals. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing", assured the com by voice chat, in a crackling pre-pubescent voice that should have alerted us to our fate immediately, were we not so trusting. Well, hey -- if a strategy works, I'm all for it. I figured, why not let him play it out? Skulks attack, base holds, and com starts building... more spawn portals. Hm. "Turrets?" is requested more than once. Finally, after <i>twelve</i> spawn portals, all in plain view of the rooms entrances, and numerous marine deaths to intruders, we get a turret factory. And the com starts building turrets -- around the command console. Every time he has 19 resource points, he puts another turret directly adjacent to the console. The entire com platform was _filled_ with turrets. After the aliens had their second hive up, com finally gave us an armory, but on the back side of the command console, so no marine could reach it. At this point, we few marines who hadn't left the game were resigned to our doom. Or so I thought. Several of my brave companions had not yet given up hope. They had a plan. A plan that would lead us to victory. What was this plan, you ask?
<b><i>Codetalkers. </b></i>
Apparently, everyone else on the team was under the impression that anything they said would be overheard by aliens. So then began the great debate: who on the team spoke navajo? Hey, if it was good enough for dubya-dubya-two, it's good enough for fighting the kharaa. Sadly, none of our elite squad seemed to be versed in navajo or anything that required more than one year of high school, and so an argument broke out as to whether french or spanish was more "mariney". As there was only one speaker of each language on the team, the point was moot, since whatever was "cleverly" "encoded" could not be decrypted by anyone else. I would have mentioned this, of course, but I was rather busy being torn limb from limb, myself being the only marine actually defending our base. All this time, the french speaker was attempting to prove his code superior by typing his entire knowledge of the french language into global chat ("Je suis un chat." "Ou est le stylo?" "Mon voiture est rouge."). Several failed commander ejection votes later, the com began enlightening us with his insightful commentary on his teammates deaths ("He got gayed!" being the tamest of the slurs used). At the end, the brave lot of us marines was standing to the side of the room, using our knives like light sticks on a runway to guide the hordes of charging onos towards the command console. They knew our pain. They knew our lives were miserable even without their attacks. They solemnly nodded their tusked heads to us as they passed by, slowly plowing through the field of turrets and portals surrounding our demented commander's twisted ego nest. They did it as much as a favor to us as to win the game. And after it all ended, we had fifteen spawn portals and the knowledge that we had been through something special, and that by sharing hardship, we had learned a valuable lesson in teamwork. Marines, aliens, machine guns, slime -- we all have one thing in common: the wankers must be 0wnz0r3d.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Well they shouldn't add an after game Ready Room showers for the marines I mean no Kharaa has to see that or smell that because I don't want to know what a marine that has been wearing heavy armour smells like after an hour of running around.
How about an alien petting zoo? Don't you want to know what a skulks feels like? don't worry it won't hurt it will make sure it takes your head clean off the first time round.
And someone mentioned bumper stickers, well I don't wanna be following an Onos with a "Wide load" sticker on it because I would be afraid of what that load actually consited of.
Mobile Command Centers because you know some clown will be driving is CC around picking up the marine chics and not watching where he is going and rear end a Onos...nothing good will come of that.
How about a beer keg, marines go up to it get drunk and aliens look much easier to kill, and while the marines are all hung over the aliens can put them in compromising position and take pictures to blackmail marines.
Lerks that can eat beans, you marines think its bad enough they have spor coming out one end well I don't think it will be good for anyone if they deadly gases coming out both ends.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
No really. I almost **obscenity** myself with these ones.
<!--QuoteBegin--Cronos+Nov 30 2002, 02:40 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Cronos @ Nov 30 2002, 02:40 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->6) The ability to ride Fades<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Hahaha! When did yourself and kyliegirl make this? Did you post it on the GA forums?
<!--QuoteBegin--Error404:+Nov 30 2002, 06:16 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Error404: @ Nov 30 2002, 06:16 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><b>Half-Human/ Half Gorge</b>: born from successful marine-gorge relationships.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Ewwwww... That is truly foul. As bad as the smoking silver gorges wandering around everywhere due to so many resource points being 'sexed'
When fired upon and successful contact is made with an enemy gorge, the TSA issued destructo-gorge beam will levitate said creature about 1 meter into the air, surrounding it in a microscopic net of nanites. Then, the nanites will proceed to pump large amounts of air into the gorge. Limited field tests have shown that most gorges can expand volumetrically to about 5-10 times their normal size. After the gorge is inflated to maximum volume without bursting (Although there have been some cases of gorges spontaneously exploding before they hit this theoretical limit), the nanites then proceed to seal every potential air leak on said gorge, until it becomes airtight like a balloon. A thin nanotech thread is then created and tied around the gorge's tail, whereby a marine can proceed to move around the creature simply by pulling it along the thread. Warning: Said method of gorge incapacitation is known to cause gorges to spontaneously self-combust after 10-15 minutes of inflation. Leaves a very large radius of messy bacterium and alien goo after detonation.
The plush-o-matic 3000: This structure is cleverly designed to look exactly like a turrent factory, except it has a large opening on its side, and a super-reinforced exterior hull that belies its disguise. When a skulk or any other alien creature steps into the plush-o-matic 3000 after breaking several teeth/limbs on the nearly unbreakable exterior, the plush-o-matic immediately drops a super-reinforced cage door that causes said alien to be trapped similarly to how a dog or a cat is kept in its cage. Most aliens will likely pass out of the sheer fatigue of trying to escape.
If the plush-o-matic 3000 is set to <i>autoplushie</i> mode, then said alien will immediate undergo processing. Several thousands of nanites will set upon the alien, working on a subatomic level to change the chemical composition of the alien. All bacterium in the creature is immediate converted into stuffing, and the exterior shell of the alien undergoes a process known as "Super-Deformation", or SD, that causes it to generally become smaller, and generally, less dangerous as claws morph into useless, fuzzy points, and teeth turn into velvet canines (the process ends up with the aliens looking a lot like plush toys...ergo, the name). After the process of SD, the plush-o-matic 3000 will release the alien, whereby a marine can proceed to take said SD alien into "custody", usually within the confines of one's own room as an ornament or pillow accessory.
Size too much of a problem? The plush-o-matic 3000 has a super-powerful vacuum to suck up even the largest of aliens and SD them into huggable pillow sized creatures. Now, you too can own the entire set of aliens in your bedroom!
*Warning: SD aliens have been known to revert back to their normal alien selves for no apparent reason. Said process seems to take place the most when user is sleeping and holding said SD alien*
Infested Seige Turret: Aliens having too much problem with those seige turrets? Not a problem! With the new infested seige cannon, you, the lowly alien, can STRIKE BACK at the marine invaders! It's simple...watch!
Frank: Yes! We finally got seige cannons up...oh no, aliens...aaaaAAAH! *CHOMP CHOMP* <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> *later* Frank: Oh boy, that last encounter really chewed me up bad. I wonder how that forward base is... *BOOM* Bob: Frank? Frank? Holy crap! Did you see that? Frank just exploded and fell to the ground! Edi: *Mutters* Damn lack of proper gibbing animations... Edi: uh, yeah. Looks almost as if a seige cannon hit him. Bob: Whoaa! *BOOM* Edi: Crap. *BOOM* *A skulk is behind the infested seige cannon wearing a broken marine's helmet and chuckling as he aims*<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> This is perhaps teh best post in this thread.
<!--QuoteBegin--Nil+Dec 2 2002, 09:58 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Nil @ Dec 2 2002, 09:58 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I had an ns experience this morning that I just had to share.
The relevant point to this story came during a harrowing half-hour at about 5:30 in the a.m., when I had just logged onto a new server looking for people. I joined up as a marine and the game started. In captain's chair was someone named [NAME DELETED FOR PLAYER'S SAFETY], who professed to have experience commanding. Yay. So, I go about my happy marine tasks of guarding base, repelling intruders, and building structures to secure our position. Then I realize something: of the 99 initial resource points available to the marines, our com had just used them all to build eight spawn portals. All in one big clump. In the middle of the room. A few marines politely protested, asking if we shouldn't be setting up an armory or turrets or anything at all that wasn't spawn portals. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing", assured the com by voice chat, in a crackling pre-pubescent voice that should have alerted us to our fate immediately, were we not so trusting. Well, hey -- if a strategy works, I'm all for it. I figured, why not let him play it out? Skulks attack, base holds, and com starts building... more spawn portals. Hm. "Turrets?" is requested more than once. Finally, after <i>twelve</i> spawn portals, all in plain view of the rooms entrances, and numerous marine deaths to intruders, we get a turret factory. And the com starts building turrets -- around the command console. Every time he has 19 resource points, he puts another turret directly adjacent to the console. The entire com platform was _filled_ with turrets. After the aliens had their second hive up, com finally gave us an armory, but on the back side of the command console, so no marine could reach it. At this point, we few marines who hadn't left the game were resigned to our doom. Or so I thought. Several of my brave companions had not yet given up hope. They had a plan. A plan that would lead us to victory. What was this plan, you ask?
<b><i>Codetalkers. </b></i>
Apparently, everyone else on the team was under the impression that anything they said would be overheard by aliens. So then began the great debate: who on the team spoke navajo? Hey, if it was good enough for dubya-dubya-two, it's good enough for fighting the kharaa. Sadly, none of our elite squad seemed to be versed in navajo or anything that required more than one year of high school, and so an argument broke out as to whether french or spanish was more "mariney". As there was only one speaker of each language on the team, the point was moot, since whatever was "cleverly" "encoded" could not be decrypted by anyone else. I would have mentioned this, of course, but I was rather busy being torn limb from limb, myself being the only marine actually defending our base. All this time, the french speaker was attempting to prove his code superior by typing his entire knowledge of the french language into global chat ("Je suis un chat." "Ou est le stylo?" "Mon voiture est rouge."). Several failed commander ejection votes later, the com began enlightening us with his insightful commentary on his teammates deaths ("He got gayed!" being the tamest of the slurs used). At the end, the brave lot of us marines was standing to the side of the room, using our knives like light sticks on a runway to guide the hordes of charging onos towards the command console. They knew our pain. They knew our lives were miserable even without their attacks. They solemnly nodded their tusked heads to us as they passed by, slowly plowing through the field of turrets and portals surrounding our demented commander's twisted ego nest. They did it as much as a favor to us as to win the game. And after it all ended, we had fifteen spawn portals and the knowledge that we had been through something special, and that by sharing hardship, we had learned a valuable lesson in teamwork. Marines, aliens, machine guns, slime -- we all have one thing in common: the wankers must be 0wnz0r3d.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Great story, but two questions: Did this really happen and did you win.
I'm happy that everyone is having such a good time with this thread. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> = me
Comments
The horror! No... wait. I'm sure that hte PETA people would get eaten first. So its a good idea.
I'm glad that people find this topic so funny. I'd hoped this would make people happy.
<!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo--> "What part of "DIE!" don't you understand!?" <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo-->
<b><span style='color:green'>***SPORED*** Language and stuff.</span></b>
Gorges: Janet Reno (See if that Gorge is still cute now! Huh!)
Skulk: Danny DeVito
Lerks: Will Ferrell
Fades: Antonio Banderas
and of course...
Onos: David Hasselhoff
(I don't care if you disagree with my choices for the other voices...but for the sake of this thread, <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo--><b><i><u>David Hasselhoff</u></i></b> <!--emo&::onos::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tiny.gif'><!--endemo--> is the king onos! =P
*This post courtesy of a dash of crazy*
Ring Ring..... Ring Ring......
Marine 1 = "Hello"
Marine 2 = "WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP"
Marine 1 = "WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP"
Marine 1 = "WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP"
Marine 2 = "WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
I know for sure while Im reloading my gun I wouldnt be too impressed if I was stuck in between two marines having a WAZZUP convo.
This may seem pretty strange but has anyone noticed the similarity between this smilies mouth <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> and a G-String. seems quite funny to me.
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> OK that was all... Goodbye, So Long, Farewell.
Skulks get the 'can opener' ability at hive 3. When a skulk leaps onto a HA marine a big grinding noise is heard, the HA spins around slowly, and he loses all his armor.
Moonwalk competitions for marines in the readyroom (marines dont have a working backpedal animation at this point)
Peptobismol guns for the marines. If sprayed directly at a fades mouth, it prevents the fade from using its bild bomb or acid rocket weapons for 1 minute.
How about whenever the random "Now, we donce" comes up... all the aliens start dancing on the spot for a minute or two. Do the gorge!
ns_racetrack!
Kind of like those "matrix" starcraft user made maps where you have to stop a set number of enemies from going from point a - b. (If anyone knows what I'm talking about) But the marines have full access to the outside of the track. Aliens have a timer and have to get as many through as they can. After a skulk makes it to the end, he is sent to the hive location where one can build stuff (they get resources for completing the course) and when they are ready they can go try the track again. Marines meanwhile get one or two res node (depending this will be based on balance issues) and res for certain number of kills. The marines can never reach alien hives but after a certain amount of time (say 10 minutes) they win. But the khara win if they make it through the track enough times. There is an invisible wall in between the track and the marine area that if one or the other touches, will kill them instantly (but can shoot through of course)
hmm... come to think of it... that's a great idea! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
(done to the Goerge of the Jungle theme song)
Gorge, Gorge, Gorge of the hive mind, builds for you and me.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Watch out for marines, WATCH OUT FOR MARINES!
Ahem...:
"Alien gorge, alien gorge,
Does whatever a builder can,
Spits a webs, any size,
Cant you see? Just like flyes
Look ouuuuut, here comes the Gorgy-Maaaaaan....,
Is he strong ? Listen budd,
Hes got bacterium-active guts,
Can he swing,from a threat?
Take a look, down the head,
Hey theeeeere, heres goes the Gorgy-Maaaaaaan.......,
At the chill of night,
At the warning of a hive,
By the corridors of shadows,
He arrives, just too lATE....
Alien gorge, alien gorge,
Badly noobie-like Gorgy-Man,
When hes seen, Hes ignored,
Total shame is his reward,
Too hiiiiim, life a bigly meesss up,
Where ever theres a hive up,
You find a Gorgy-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANn.."
Copyright' "(SoD)Flying-**obscenity**", all rights reserved.
Man thats a classic
just incase no one noticed, i believe that it was set to the tune of the original Spider Man theme song. genious, i tells ya. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
this thread is hilarious. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
I think we need to see some maps with NPCs. For example, PETA activists trying to "Save the poor Skulks!" They'll try to net them while the Marines shoot. The activists are fair game for both sides. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
- M4H
Does whatever a builder can,
Spits a webs, any size,
Cant you see? Just like flyes
Look ouuuuut, here comes the Gorgy-Maaaaaan....,
Is he strong ? Listen budd,
Hes got bacterium-active guts,
Can he swing,from a threat?
Take a look, down the head,
Hey theeeeere, heres goes the Gorgy-Maaaaaaan.......,<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Heh, another "They Might Be Gorges" song.
"Building a hive in the dark".
A gorge came up to me and said,
"I'd like to build a new hive"
"With walls of lame and def towers"
"Though I am not unkind"
It looked at me,
I looked at something written across its scalp
And these are the words that it faintly read
as I radio'd for help
"Theres only one thing that I know how to do well,
And I've often been told that you can only do what you know how to do well,
and that's be you,
be what you're like
be like yourself
and so I'm having a wonderful time
but I'd rather be building a hive in the dark
building a hive in the dark,
building a hive in the dark,
building a hive in the dark,
building a hive in the dark,
building a hive in the dark,
theres only one thing that I like and that is building a hive in the dark".
A skulk came up to me and said,
"I'd like to change your mind".
"I'll change it with a parasite",
"Though I am not unkind".
We laughed at his little joke,
and then I happily walked away,
but the little **obscenity** bit the back of my head
then everything went grey.
"Theres only one thing that I know how to do well,
And I've often been told that you can only do what you know how to do well,
and that's be you,
be what you're like
be like yourself
and so I'm having a wonderful time
but I'd rather be chomping marines in the dark
chomping marines in the dark,
chomping marines in the dark,
chomping marines in the dark,
chomping marines in the dark,
chomping marines in the dark,
theres only one thing that I like and that is chomping marines in the dark".
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
And then all the Marines sing: "Dum do do do, dah do, dah do, CAN'T TOUCH THIS!" While the marine that killed the Onos dances.
<a href='http://members.aol.com/uranium235ftp/CantTouchThis.zip' target='_blank'>Click here to download the .wav clip that should play</a> (The reason it's crappy is because I cut and edited it myself, because the real song goes backwards then what I wanted it to do)
i hpe u guyz put in this gnu i made its relly col an wood balense the gam ei think itd be seweeet.
<img src='http://members.aol.com/uranium235ftp/Tribes2/BlackDragon.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
This is a gun I scripted as an admin 'tool' in Tribes2, BTW <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> The guy holding it is a model nearly 5x taller then a normal player, just to give you an idea of how rediculously big it is. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> Fires
Heavy Lasers
Pulse Lasers
Seeker Missiles
Plasma Bombs
Heavy Cannon
Mortars
And now for something completely different!
<img src='http://www.tribes2.org/forums/images/smilies/grenade.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image'>
Took 'bout 10 minutes... To be played to the tune of "Whisteling in the Dark" by They Might Be Giants.
(Yes, I'm a fast typer and I know the song well)
=)
I mean come on... the DEV's made this seemingly un thought of modification to halflife, my mind couldn't even understand how somebody could have such an imagination, and skill. It seriously blows CS out of the water like a good prostitute would.
Also additions to come to the waiting room...
<b>(hand held "weapons")</b> .. although they would not inflict damage
-Toilet Paper (TP those benches!)
-Duct tape!!! tape stuff
-Slap fights (post game anger relief) *me slaps onos* "whos the **obscenity** nowww??"
-Cup with a drink in it... (picked up by the bar) (sip it too much and you pass out)
-Beach ball to throw (once thrown.. you lose it, and it can be picked up again)
-Break dancing
-Congo line
-Bob saggot signed asbestos oven mitts
-Dandruff shampoo
I think we should have another game in the waiting room that greases up a gorge, and lets them go... as everybody tries to catch it.
.. btw .. as marine.. jump on top of a turret.. crouch.. get somebody to look at you =)
<!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='asrifle.gif'><!--endemo-->
<!--emo&::sentry::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/turret.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='turret.gif'><!--endemo-->
-awesome little looking bug-
**obscenity** CANNON!!!
hrm.. wonder about sieges
*added a couple of things*
That's random? I thought it meant you were about to wh0re the marines (I know I'm skirting the filter, but it's not a bad use of it). We once brought two hives up at the exact same time (Making three) and all had 66 resources... and it said 'Now we dance!' and I was like: Yeeeeha!
1.
"I'm a grunt and I don't care!"
-"I'm a grunt and I don't care!"
"A skulk might drop right in my hair!"
-"A skulk might drop right in my hair!"
"Oh no!"
-"Oh no!"
"An Ono!"
-"An Ono!"
"No seriously, it's coming right this way!"
-"No seriously, it's coming right this way!"
"Run you morons!"
-"Run you morons!"
2.
i can see it now
a lone gorge running from 5 HA's with HMG's bumping up and down singing "stayin' alive, stayin' alive, stayin' aliiiiiiiiive"
3.
A one hour lunch break.
Here is what this would look like:
A fade is charging a marine who suddenly runs out of ammo. The fade rushes faster toward the marine who is now backing away. The marine trips! The fade lunges in for the kill, he can almost taste the humans blood! He extends his mighty claws! Then suddenly! A whistle sounds and a voice over the intercom says "Lunch break, half an hour!"
The Fade stops and says "Almost had you that time fank." Chuckling as he helps the human off the ground and dusting off his armor. "Yah," Frank says. "Wish my comm would give me ammo when I ask for it." He then said "I woul've had you if my gun had been upgraded.", grinning.
The two walk side by side toward the lunch room, chatting and laughing.
..................................
Hmmmm maybe I should seriously consider to try that second point...
BTW I am lmao for about 10 minutes now! Keep em coming! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
"Can't Touch This!"
a marine arrives geard with that huge suit that uranium posted...
the onos would just turn and exit via the nearest airlock mumbling bout "st00p1d h4x0rz ru1n1n9 w0rld d0m1n4t10n, wh47 15 7h15 s7uff" return to his homeworld and join the Onos version of Green Peace.
I SEE DEAD PEOPLE...
WE NEED BETTER PLAYERS...
MY HIVE...
go look @ the sound files.
So far I know how to make the now we donce show up...
but none else =)
The relevant point to this story came during a harrowing half-hour at about 5:30 in the a.m., when I had just logged onto a new server looking for people. I joined up as a marine and the game started. In captain's chair was someone named [NAME DELETED FOR PLAYER'S SAFETY], who professed to have experience commanding. Yay. So, I go about my happy marine tasks of guarding base, repelling intruders, and building structures to secure our position. Then I realize something: of the 99 initial resource points available to the marines, our com had just used them all to build eight spawn portals. All in one big clump. In the middle of the room. A few marines politely protested, asking if we shouldn't be setting up an armory or turrets or anything at all that wasn't spawn portals. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing", assured the com by voice chat, in a crackling pre-pubescent voice that should have alerted us to our fate immediately, were we not so trusting. Well, hey -- if a strategy works, I'm all for it. I figured, why not let him play it out? Skulks attack, base holds, and com starts building... more spawn portals. Hm. "Turrets?" is requested more than once. Finally, after <i>twelve</i> spawn portals, all in plain view of the rooms entrances, and numerous marine deaths to intruders, we get a turret factory. And the com starts building turrets -- around the command console. Every time he has 19 resource points, he puts another turret directly adjacent to the console. The entire com platform was _filled_ with turrets. After the aliens had their second hive up, com finally gave us an armory, but on the back side of the command console, so no marine could reach it. At this point, we few marines who hadn't left the game were resigned to our doom. Or so I thought. Several of my brave companions had not yet given up hope. They had a plan. A plan that would lead us to victory. What was this plan, you ask?
<b><i>Codetalkers. </b></i>
Apparently, everyone else on the team was under the impression that anything they said would be overheard by aliens. So then began the great debate: who on the team spoke navajo? Hey, if it was good enough for dubya-dubya-two, it's good enough for fighting the kharaa. Sadly, none of our elite squad seemed to be versed in navajo or anything that required more than one year of high school, and so an argument broke out as to whether french or spanish was more "mariney". As there was only one speaker of each language on the team, the point was moot, since whatever was "cleverly" "encoded" could not be decrypted by anyone else. I would have mentioned this, of course, but I was rather busy being torn limb from limb, myself being the only marine actually defending our base. All this time, the french speaker was attempting to prove his code superior by typing his entire knowledge of the french language into global chat ("Je suis un chat." "Ou est le stylo?" "Mon voiture est rouge."). Several failed commander ejection votes later, the com began enlightening us with his insightful commentary on his teammates deaths ("He got gayed!" being the tamest of the slurs used). At the end, the brave lot of us marines was standing to the side of the room, using our knives like light sticks on a runway to guide the hordes of charging onos towards the command console. They knew our pain. They knew our lives were miserable even without their attacks. They solemnly nodded their tusked heads to us as they passed by, slowly plowing through the field of turrets and portals surrounding our demented commander's twisted ego nest. They did it as much as a favor to us as to win the game. And after it all ended, we had fifteen spawn portals and the knowledge that we had been through something special, and that by sharing hardship, we had learned a valuable lesson in teamwork. Marines, aliens, machine guns, slime -- we all have one thing in common: the wankers must be 0wnz0r3d.
How about an alien petting zoo? Don't you want to know what a skulks feels like? don't worry it won't hurt it will make sure it takes your head clean off the first time round.
And someone mentioned bumper stickers, well I don't wanna be following an Onos with a "Wide load" sticker on it because I would be afraid of what that load actually consited of.
Mobile Command Centers because you know some clown will be driving is CC around picking up the marine chics and not watching where he is going and rear end a Onos...nothing good will come of that.
How about a beer keg, marines go up to it get drunk and aliens look much easier to kill, and while the marines are all hung over the aliens can put them in compromising position and take pictures to blackmail marines.
Lerks that can eat beans, you marines think its bad enough they have spor coming out one end well I don't think it will be good for anyone if they deadly gases coming out both ends.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
No really. I almost **obscenity** myself with these ones.
Hahaha! When did yourself and kyliegirl make this? Did you post it on the GA forums?
Ewwwww... That is truly foul. As bad as the smoking silver gorges wandering around everywhere due to so many resource points being 'sexed'
Neutered gorges. Try neutering an Onos *GROOAAAR*
When fired upon and successful contact is made with an enemy gorge, the TSA issued destructo-gorge beam will levitate said creature about 1 meter into the air, surrounding it in a microscopic net of nanites. Then, the nanites will proceed to pump large amounts of air into the gorge. Limited field tests have shown that most gorges can expand volumetrically to about 5-10 times their normal size. After the gorge is inflated to maximum volume without bursting (Although there have been some cases of gorges spontaneously exploding before they hit this theoretical limit), the nanites then proceed to seal every potential air leak on said gorge, until it becomes airtight like a balloon. A thin nanotech thread is then created and tied around the gorge's tail, whereby a marine can proceed to move around the creature simply by pulling it along the thread. Warning: Said method of gorge incapacitation is known to cause gorges to spontaneously self-combust after 10-15 minutes of inflation. Leaves a very large radius of messy bacterium and alien goo after detonation.
The plush-o-matic 3000: This structure is cleverly designed to look exactly like a turrent factory, except it has a large opening on its side, and a super-reinforced exterior hull that belies its disguise. When a skulk or any other alien creature steps into the plush-o-matic 3000 after breaking several teeth/limbs on the nearly unbreakable exterior, the plush-o-matic immediately drops a super-reinforced cage door that causes said alien to be trapped similarly to how a dog or a cat is kept in its cage. Most aliens will likely pass out of the sheer fatigue of trying to escape.
If the plush-o-matic 3000 is set to <i>autoplushie</i> mode, then said alien will immediate undergo processing. Several thousands of nanites will set upon the alien, working on a subatomic level to change the chemical composition of the alien. All bacterium in the creature is immediate converted into stuffing, and the exterior shell of the alien undergoes a process known as "Super-Deformation", or SD, that causes it to generally become smaller, and generally, less dangerous as claws morph into useless, fuzzy points, and teeth turn into velvet canines (the process ends up with the aliens looking a lot like plush toys...ergo, the name). After the process of SD, the plush-o-matic 3000 will release the alien, whereby a marine can proceed to take said SD alien into "custody", usually within the confines of one's own room as an ornament or pillow accessory.
Size too much of a problem? The plush-o-matic 3000 has a super-powerful vacuum to suck up even the largest of aliens and SD them into huggable pillow sized creatures. Now, you too can own the entire set of aliens in your bedroom!
*Warning: SD aliens have been known to revert back to their normal alien selves for no apparent reason. Said process seems to take place the most when user is sleeping and holding said SD alien*
Infested Seige Turret:
Aliens having too much problem with those seige turrets? Not a problem! With the new infested seige cannon, you, the lowly alien, can STRIKE BACK at the marine invaders! It's simple...watch!
Frank: Yes! We finally got seige cannons up...oh no, aliens...aaaaAAAH! *CHOMP CHOMP* <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
*later*
Frank: Oh boy, that last encounter really chewed me up bad. I wonder how that forward base is...
*BOOM*
Bob: Frank? Frank? Holy crap! Did you see that? Frank just exploded and fell to the ground!
Edi: *Mutters* Damn lack of proper gibbing animations...
Edi: uh, yeah. Looks almost as if a seige cannon hit him.
Bob: Whoaa! *BOOM*
Edi: Crap.
*BOOM*
*A skulk is behind the infested seige cannon wearing a broken marine's helmet and chuckling as he aims*<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
This is perhaps teh best post in this thread.
The relevant point to this story came during a harrowing half-hour at about 5:30 in the a.m., when I had just logged onto a new server looking for people. I joined up as a marine and the game started. In captain's chair was someone named [NAME DELETED FOR PLAYER'S SAFETY], who professed to have experience commanding. Yay. So, I go about my happy marine tasks of guarding base, repelling intruders, and building structures to secure our position. Then I realize something: of the 99 initial resource points available to the marines, our com had just used them all to build eight spawn portals. All in one big clump. In the middle of the room. A few marines politely protested, asking if we shouldn't be setting up an armory or turrets or anything at all that wasn't spawn portals. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing", assured the com by voice chat, in a crackling pre-pubescent voice that should have alerted us to our fate immediately, were we not so trusting. Well, hey -- if a strategy works, I'm all for it. I figured, why not let him play it out? Skulks attack, base holds, and com starts building... more spawn portals. Hm. "Turrets?" is requested more than once. Finally, after <i>twelve</i> spawn portals, all in plain view of the rooms entrances, and numerous marine deaths to intruders, we get a turret factory. And the com starts building turrets -- around the command console. Every time he has 19 resource points, he puts another turret directly adjacent to the console. The entire com platform was _filled_ with turrets. After the aliens had their second hive up, com finally gave us an armory, but on the back side of the command console, so no marine could reach it. At this point, we few marines who hadn't left the game were resigned to our doom. Or so I thought. Several of my brave companions had not yet given up hope. They had a plan. A plan that would lead us to victory. What was this plan, you ask?
<b><i>Codetalkers. </b></i>
Apparently, everyone else on the team was under the impression that anything they said would be overheard by aliens. So then began the great debate: who on the team spoke navajo? Hey, if it was good enough for dubya-dubya-two, it's good enough for fighting the kharaa. Sadly, none of our elite squad seemed to be versed in navajo or anything that required more than one year of high school, and so an argument broke out as to whether french or spanish was more "mariney". As there was only one speaker of each language on the team, the point was moot, since whatever was "cleverly" "encoded" could not be decrypted by anyone else. I would have mentioned this, of course, but I was rather busy being torn limb from limb, myself being the only marine actually defending our base. All this time, the french speaker was attempting to prove his code superior by typing his entire knowledge of the french language into global chat ("Je suis un chat." "Ou est le stylo?" "Mon voiture est rouge."). Several failed commander ejection votes later, the com began enlightening us with his insightful commentary on his teammates deaths ("He got gayed!" being the tamest of the slurs used). At the end, the brave lot of us marines was standing to the side of the room, using our knives like light sticks on a runway to guide the hordes of charging onos towards the command console. They knew our pain. They knew our lives were miserable even without their attacks. They solemnly nodded their tusked heads to us as they passed by, slowly plowing through the field of turrets and portals surrounding our demented commander's twisted ego nest. They did it as much as a favor to us as to win the game. And after it all ended, we had fifteen spawn portals and the knowledge that we had been through something special, and that by sharing hardship, we had learned a valuable lesson in teamwork. Marines, aliens, machine guns, slime -- we all have one thing in common: the wankers must be 0wnz0r3d.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Great story, but two questions:
Did this really happen and did you win.
I'm happy that everyone is having such a good time with this thread.
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' valign='absmiddle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> = me