Family Death.
<div class="IPBDescription">and i dont really care.... ?</div> hey, ok so for those of you who know me, ive been here a while.. and often have ranted with my life woes, and usually get alot of help <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> now, if you cant say anything nice. please for the love of god. go crack one off.. and leave me be. (testament this means you.)
ok, SO now thats out the way, i got a weird email from my biological mother, which read ' tommy i have some bad news, your grandad is dead. at first i flipped out, cos i thoguht she meant her mother, but she didnt, she meant my dad's dad..
now to track back abit, when i was a baby i got abused... not sexually or nothing, but physically, beaten... and my mother got raped, my father is not a nice man. which is why i was adopted. now im in contact with my mother, and she has as few ties with him as possible, but still... it was his father, and she informed me to be nice etc, now the thing is, i really dont care. infact, i would be more bothered if my hamster died. is this wrong? he WAS my grandad, although i never met him. and he brought an abusive scumlike child into the world... why should i care?
just wondering what people's take is on this... cos im stumped... should i care? shouldnt i?
feel free to ask questions or w/e if you like, im not sensitive about the issue
ok, SO now thats out the way, i got a weird email from my biological mother, which read ' tommy i have some bad news, your grandad is dead. at first i flipped out, cos i thoguht she meant her mother, but she didnt, she meant my dad's dad..
now to track back abit, when i was a baby i got abused... not sexually or nothing, but physically, beaten... and my mother got raped, my father is not a nice man. which is why i was adopted. now im in contact with my mother, and she has as few ties with him as possible, but still... it was his father, and she informed me to be nice etc, now the thing is, i really dont care. infact, i would be more bothered if my hamster died. is this wrong? he WAS my grandad, although i never met him. and he brought an abusive scumlike child into the world... why should i care?
just wondering what people's take is on this... cos im stumped... should i care? shouldnt i?
feel free to ask questions or w/e if you like, im not sensitive about the issue
Comments
but... yea that's just my thoughts and feelings.
Just food for thought :-)
I completely agree with this.
I completely agree with this. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Double quoted for exceptional value and wisdom.
Kind of natural for people you don't have any real kind of attachment to I guess.
So it doesn't have to be someone you hate, just someone you don't know too well. If you knew the guy, then things would be a little more different.
I completely agree with this. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Double quoted for exceptional value and wisdom. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Triple quoted for emphasis.
I completely agree with this. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Double quoted for exceptional value and wisdom. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Triple quoted for emphasis.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
4! 4tehwin!!
Judging from the brief read of your post, you owe your biological father exactly jack ****. Funerals aren't for those who died anyway, they're for the ones left behind, i.e. your **** biological father. Not only do you owe him nothing, but considering his history of abuse I think you should have as little to do with him as possible. And looking at the worst possible case, people get very emotional at funerals, and when abusive people get emotional they can get violent. I suspect you would want nothing to do with such a situation (as you shouldn't).
However if you do have another relative you do care about attending, and you think your dad won't go psycho, and you want to attend for the benefit of said cared about relative, go for it.
It's up to you.
no big loss, society wins, don't think you need to feel sad, but try some therapy [seriously] anyways [for the abuse at the young age, yes it has an effect]
nothing more to see here, move along <!--emo&::tsa::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tsa.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tsa.gif' /><!--endemo-->
but its in america anyway... to be honest, if i were there, i would probarbly go, and yeah there would be a seen,
lets just say my fatehr is on my KOS list. this is a guy who 'threw across the room'
and that was the social services wording. a 6 month old baby. the man is a sicko.. and if i ever do meet him face to face.. ill see if he wants to take me on now..
but thats a different matter.
after all this, i am inclined to agree, but you cant help the empty feeling, the whole ' void' thing ya know?
I have lots of old old relitives, most of which I have met maby once or twice. Every now and them passes on and it leaks through to me through the grapevine. I always feel a little down when it happens, but honestly, I could say the same thing. If I had a hampster I would probably be more distressed if it died then I am for these old relitives of mine.
People die, its part of life. Its hard to mourn the loss of something you never really even had.
2 or 3 years ago my grandmother died, hell, I was the second person to see her body when we walked into the room, and I didn't care. I've never cared. I used it as an excuse to be an even bigger **** than usual.
So...yeah. No need to care or even worry.
As a note, this grandmother was around once every few days for at least an hour for as long as I can remember, and it still didn't make any impact on my life. Honestly, familiarity doesn't make a connection. It'd take someone I really like alot (ss in, no one I've met so far worthy of it ;p) for me to care, and it should be like that for everyone...maybe then peoples lives wouldn't stop when their cousin ten times removed bites the dust.
Most funerals that I've been to, be they family, or friends, I never really felt *anything*, not woe, nothing. Not even the feeling of intense boredom.
With one major exception
When my grandmother died in the hospital after I went to the toilet. I felt so angry with myself that I had left her side. My grandmother was everything to me. Not only did she look after me when I needed looking after. She was there through all my emotional turmoil of breaking up with someone I had been with for years. (I was 16 at the time, and had broken up with someone who I had been with all through high school). She had protected me all the way through my life, and I was by her side all the time she was in hospital, try to start repaying the favour. I told her that I was going to the toilet and would be back in a few minutes. I went off, came back, and the staff wouldn't let me back into her room. I was told she had died minutes ago. Words can't describe what feeling of anger and intense hatred I had towards myself. All the time I was there, she was fine. I went to the toilet, and she passed on. Not during all my life had she put herself beyond anyone else. I do it for a minute, and she goes on.
Sorry to unload upon you lot, but somethings are better shared.
My father was probably negatively affected by it, but he never shows it, at least to me. He's very intelligent and I think sometimes that he was too easy on me for fear of becoming like his father was.