Love Or Lust
Owen1
Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15457Members
Join Date: 2003-04-13 Member: 15457Members
in Discussions
<div class="IPBDescription">is she using you? or is it really love?</div> well i have this dilemma, that so happens would make a great point of discussion. I keep getting a pushy tone from my girlfriend wanting to sleep with me. It's kind of annoying since i said i really wanna wait till we're serious before i do anything that may or may not affect either of us in any way. I dont want to screw it up by being either super good, or complete suck in bed, but I dont want to continue pushing her away whenever she mentions it. It's not like i wouldn't, I would, and probably will, but I feel that it's just more of a thing that lovers should do, rather than people who just started dating? Do you think I'm right by holding my ground, or should I just give her what she wants?
Comments
Good plan.
Doing something like this can serious come back and litterally destroy your life, bit by bit.
As far as i can recall, and what i <i>think</i> these mean in a deeper sense:
Love - Psycological
Lust - Physical
It really is a complex matter, and a serious thing to discuss (but i do not have time to speak, now)... Does she love me or my body? <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
if your under the age of 21 go for it as most relation ships under that age don't last and rarely come out in marriage and happily ever after, but if you think this has potential to go places the hold of for a bit and see what happens, and if you think your going to suck in bed, just double down on the oral sex and you will be good
[edit]
your roughly my age, GO FOR IT AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
Keep in mind that most women DO NOT have orgasm until they are around the age of 20, and even then only 30% of women have an orgasm thru sex, you may get lucky and find that she is multiorgasmic, but don't get your hopes up. Talk with her find out what she likes and then go down on her with a reckless but soon to be practiced abandon and you will be gravy
[edit2]
If you have a good religious reason, or it's a belief of yours then don't do it... Otherwise PLEASE PLEASE don't get her pregnant! No glove no love! wrap it before you tap it! Moreover, ask her what she thinks about birthcontrol, there are plenty of things out there, specifically look for something that is progesterone based, as those tend not to increase the weight as much. If she can't hang with taking one pill every day at the same time, look into depo prevara [the shot that lasts 3 months] or maybe even the new birth control patch.
[edit3]
how long have you guys been dating? how old is she? do you know if she has a history of abuse or something that would make her hypersexual?
[/edit]
Keep in mind that most women DO NOT have orgasm until they are around the age of 20, and even then only 30% of women have an orgasm thru sex, you may get lucky and find that she is multiorgasmic, but don't get your hopes up. Talk with her find out what she likes and then go down on her with a reckless but soon to be practiced abandon and you will be gravy <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Whoa, where the hell you plucking that statistic from?
And anyways, if you don't think the relationship is serious enough to have sex, than I doubt the relationship would be considered serious enough to sacrifice your principles for her. Basically it comes down to a very simple question: do you want to stay in an area where you are more comfortable and she may become dissatisfied, or do you want to make her happy while at the same time exposing yourself sexually? And trust me, you'll be hard pressed to find someone to give you advice on that question besides yourself, so stop asking us, and go figure it out.
For Xzianthians, love = humanity = compassion. (the latter two words do not exist in the vocabulary)
It really has nothing to do with attaction or sexuality. That's a human confusion about the meaning of love.
Keep in mind that most women DO NOT have orgasm until they are around the age of 20, and even then only 30% of women have an orgasm thru sex, you may get lucky and find that she is multiorgasmic, but don't get your hopes up. Talk with her find out what she likes and then go down on her with a reckless but soon to be practiced abandon and you will be gravy <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Whoa, where the hell you plucking that statistic from? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
1-800-L O V E-191 sunday thru thursday 10-12 pacific time
LOL. I think that's Love Line with Howard Stern right and that one doctor guy?
Keep in mind that most women DO NOT have orgasm until they are around the age of 20, and even then only 30% of women have an orgasm thru sex, you may get lucky and find that she is multiorgasmic, but don't get your hopes up. Talk with her find out what she likes and then go down on her with a reckless but soon to be practiced abandon and you will be gravy <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Whoa, where the hell you plucking that statistic from? <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
1-800-L O V E-191 sunday thru thursday 10-12 pacific time <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well I would have to say that from my experience, that stat is complete BS, and don't get your love advice from radio call-in shows, they are well known to suck.
Drew is a board certified internest with a specilization in addiction medicine, and I have aspirations of pre-med [if you follow the it's muga link, you will notice how the name of my opendiary is NewDocDrew, which is also my aim sn] , and a good 4 years of loveline under my belt, so that fact was me parroting what Drew says about women. It's truly amazing how many women don't know how there own biology operates.
[edit]
Allur, I am so confident in that statistic I am willing to bet my rabbit. Call the damn show and argue with the guy who has many more years of school than you and numerous yars of doing this show (more than twenty, and it's nationally syndicated). Not to mention he has background in this; moreover, who cares about your experience? You are not the norm. If you still doubt me, dial the digits, get past the phon screeners, and talk to Dr. Pinsky. When you have a "Dr." before your name I will believe what you say when you talk about how humans work.
[edit2]
that is a run on sentence and a half <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
[edit3]
<3 Coil and his leet english
[/edit]
huh? <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
It's all up to you really, I'm not in your shoes don't know all the little intricacies of your relationship. But from what advice I can give, ask yourself what you do you want out of your relationship - do you want a deep, loving relationship - or one primarily focused on sexual lust?
Afterwards, just sit down with your significant other, smile, hug her, and just tell her how you feel.
your roughly my age, GO FOR IT AND DON'T LOOK BACK!
Keep in mind that most women DO NOT have orgasm until they are around the age of 20, and even then only 30% of women have an orgasm thru sex, you may get lucky and find that she is multiorgasmic, but don't get your hopes up. Talk with her find out what she likes and then go down on her with a reckless but soon to be practiced abandon and you will be gravy <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Buh?!?!
TAK, I really think you may have a warped view of women. Or at least of their physiology. Stay away from Cosmo and Maxim. I never started dating anyone over the age of 17 and the stuff you quoted seems to be tabloid statistics.
edit: no one over 17 when I started dating them. My fiance and I have been officially together for more than 3 years now. She is 21 and I am 23.
If I could offer any advice it is that reckless abandon never makes for a pleasant evening. Take your time and relax. Don't rush things and don't try anything until you are completely ready. If you feel rushed, guilty or have any misgivings then you are NOT ready. Something like that should be completely without compulsion. You are young and still have plenty of time to meet one of the billions of other fish in the sea.
If she is pushing you and ignoring your signals that means several things:
She is immature and probably not ready for sex herself.
She isn't paying attention to your signals.
This is a biggie. Many people hear about how some guys can't please their women. Well it goes both ways. How on Earth can you expect a pleasureable experience is your partner cannot read you and respond to your feelings?
Important!!!
Ask yourself how you would feel about your future wife if you found out that she had been with someone before you. Then imagine how your future wife would feel about you? This is a source of much strife later on in life and is an important question. I am not saying that it is right or wrong but it is a question that you need to answer.
You call yourself a man? As soon as you read this shut off your computer, go to her house and tap that.
Just be sure to use a condom.
Just be sure to use a condom. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Seconded. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Human beings are animals, remember that.
Just be sure to use a condom. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Edited for clarity
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->You call yourself an animal? As soon as you read this, throw any moral and intellectual inhibitions to the wind, throw any concerns you have about the relationship and the feelings of yourself and that chick and mate like rabid dogs. Care? Respect? Screw them, and screw her. Oh, but dont make her pregnant, because everyone knows that sex means nothing more than slightly risky fun<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I don't think there's really any need to be 'pushy' about sex. It really depends on the relationship, and given that this is just the start, you may want to hold off on it (and it sounds like that's what you want) - don't rush into it because she wants to.
Sex can really affect a relationship - I know I've had a couple where we started it too early, it more or less became the basis and everything else took second place. Not good, unless all you want is a friend between the sheets - you may want to consider that as well.
Hold your ground. Talk it out with her and decide what's best for you - but don't let her push you around about it. If she HAS TO HAVE IT RIGHT NOW or something and won't back off, then you decide whether the relationship is worth giving in (and dealing with the possible implications) or not.
That said - if you're going to do it, use a condom. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif' /><!--endemo-->
*edit* If you need to ask people in the NS forums if you should sleep with someone, you aren't ready. Read up on the issue, it's not something you just do on a whim.
. . . and TAK and you other guys, pls don't try to ruin this guys life just because you are horny, I'm sure you'd sleep with anything that let you, but try to control yourself, some people respcet themselves more than that.
p.s. to answer your topic question: neither, she is just horny and wants to know what sex is like, she prob. doesn't care about you, since she's not listening to you. Just don't rush into something you will regret.
*edit* If you need to ask people in the NS forums if you should sleep with someone, you aren't ready. Read up on the issue, it's not something you just do on a whim.
. . . and TAK and you other guys, pls don't try to ruin this guys life just because you are horny, I'm sure you'd sleep with anything that let you, but try to control yourself, some people respcet themselves more than that.
p.s. to answer your topic question: neither, she is just horny and wants to know what sex is like, she prob. doesn't care about you, since she's not listening to you. Just don't rush into something you will regret. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
quoted for truth.
The whole "wait before relationship becomes serious" thing is arbitrary. Thinking love grows stronger over time is just as logical as thinking you become a worthwhile poster once you have a high postcount combined with a low member #.
It is tempting to think things work that way - but they just don't. Some people can be lucky to find their soulmate instantly , some other divorce after realizing it wasn't a good idea to stay together , 10 years later.
If your GF prefers sex over an unnecessarily complicated romantic ceremony , then you're lucky. Also , being used for sex is much better than being used for money !
The romantic relationship may or may not last forever , but if sex remains then you're luckier than most of us nolifers <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> I'm not saying it's a dream to have a nymphomaniac GF - it can be a nightmare. For now , just beware of the routine - it kills love and desire alike.
The romantic relationship may or may not last forever , but if sex remains then you're luckier than most of us nolifers <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> I'm not saying it's a dream to have a nymphomaniac GF - it can be a nightmare. For now , just beware of the routine - it kills love and desire alike. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Since when did romance become an unwanted byproduct? Or if not that, since when did Sex and Romance become mutually exclusive?
What is the point of having a purely sexual relationship if the romance has died? You might as well just go masturbate in the corner for all the differance it will make.
Don't get me wrong , I'm all for it , and life would be horribly frustrating if they were mutually exclusive. Romanticism is what's overrated , and denying sex just to have a purely spiritual love is foolish.