<!--QuoteBegin-Cold-NiTe+Sep 20 2004, 01:54 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Cold-NiTe @ Sep 20 2004, 01:54 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Well most people consider me an introvert but in high school I made friends with every person under the sun. I hung out with the Goths. I hung out with the Preps. The gamers. The Anime freaks (as in addicts). The Science club kids. The Academic Decathlon kids. The Emo kids. I knew all the people from all the different groups and I had different times of the day when I met with each of them. But my high school was really really diverse you see. But when I came to my university I was practically snow-blinded I'd never seen so many Caucasian people in one place before. (Not to be offensive but they were about 30% of the population at my old high school.)
But that really isn't the big reason why I'm having trouble at this place. The <i>biggest</i> reason, or reasons I should say is because A.) I commute, so I have 2-4 hours in the morning everyday to meet people and make friends before I head home and B.) I have nothing in common with those people. They all have their country clubs and their second homes while my single-parent home shakes on its foundation because of my father's negligence. What do I talk to these people about? How can I relate to them? The answer is: I can't. Hell I can't even hold a lan party and find out where the gamers are there because since I don't live on campus, I can't have the party closer than a 30 minute drive away.
I apologize, this isn't my thread and I ranted in it. You are under no circumstances obligated to read that. ^ <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I know how you feel. Back in high school I had the most diverse freind group of any group of people I have ever been in anywhere esle. Both my best freinds were extroverts, one being a hardcore conservitive (which is weird for me because I have fairly hard left wing) and the other being a bubbly international student from hong kong. In addition I knew pretty much everyone quite well, save a few elitest 'popular clique' kids. Coming to Uni, everyone is white, except for a couple african exchange students, and my roomie is pretty much the exact same personality as me. I happen to be lucky that my roomie is from town, so we go and hang with his buddies quite a bit, otherwize i would probably be hitting the shell shock just as much as the rest of you.
<randomthought>Its gonna be really wierd when we are the old guys listening to the next generation saying this last year, and we'll all be like "ya I remember feeling lonely, just keep plugging and it will turn out fine"</randomthough>
coilAmateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance.Join Date: 2002-04-12Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
<!--QuoteBegin-Forlorn+Sep 20 2004, 02:05 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Forlorn @ Sep 20 2004, 02:05 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Just let go. Let go of any fear you may have. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Dammit, Forlorn, stop being sensible. (:
He's right. So much of humanity is terrified of ... well, of being noticed. We dress alike, we talk alike. We listen to the same music, wear the same clothes. All because to be different is to stand out, to be noticed -- and if you're noticed, someone might laugh, or point, or whisper, or throw something at you.
I found my freedom - and my friends - when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Not because they're inferior -- nobody likes a superiority complex! I stopped caring what people thought about me because I realized that people who truly liked me, and people whom I could like in return, wouldn't need me to be different than who I already am. The ones who can't accept me aren't worth the angst. The ones who are are my friends, my girlfriend, my social circle, my connections. And it's a damn close circle because of it.
Don't be afraid to draw attention to yourself. Shrug off the bad, sift through it and find the people who notice you and like what they see.
EpidemicDark Force GorgeJoin Date: 2003-06-29Member: 17781Members
That actually pretty close to what I feel sometimes.. All people I see is shallow unattractive (not just not psychical) ****.. However with that feeling comes a feeling of loneliness..
<!--QuoteBegin-Birdy+Sep 20 2004, 05:00 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Birdy @ Sep 20 2004, 05:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I think i feel exactly like you, although i'm not in highschool anymore. Now i'm stuck at home and work while being anti-social. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Im in the same situation. Im at a point where I dont know where I want to go with my life, all my friends have moved on, and I work, and have no social life. I really hate it but theres nothing I can do about it for a good year or so :|
<!--QuoteBegin-Geminosity+Sep 20 2004, 02:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Geminosity @ Sep 20 2004, 02:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> This is why I believe doing university from home rather than taking student accomodation is just bad overall. sure you save money and stuff but you miss out on too much =/ <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Unless you're me. I didn't talk to my flatmates after the first day of moving in. :/
FamDiaper-Wearing Dog On A BallJoin Date: 2002-02-17Member: 222Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
edited September 2004
<!--QuoteBegin-Geminosity+Sep 20 2004, 08:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Geminosity @ Sep 20 2004, 08:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->This is why I believe doing university from home rather than taking student accomodation is just bad overall. sure you save money and stuff but you miss out on too much =/<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Speaking from experience, this is not always the case. Currently at University I know loads of people. We go out for drinks and such regularly, yet I am living at home at the moment, a good 40 minutes away from the University campus by train. I also had the luck (?) to spend a year at York University, living on campus, sharing a kitchen with 16 people, and I found people very unwilling to involve with people outside of cliques. Maybe it is just the different type of University, different groups of people, a personal dislike for student accomodation, or possibly increased confidence on my part.
One thing I would suggest is dropping the attitude of superiority, and don't try and categorise people. It really doesn't win people over (unless your name is Forlorn <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> ). I second Gem's point that you have to "bother to make with the niceness".
<!--QuoteBegin-Geminosity+Sep 20 2004, 08:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Geminosity @ Sep 20 2004, 08:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->If some stranger suddenly starts chatterng away to you while you're waiting at a bustop with them it's probably me - Gem<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> Ahh, finally, the truth is revealed. Gem is a 75-year-old afro-carribean man with a thick Dudley accent. I knew it. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Anyways, today at school I found that my feelings of superiority are well founded.
Chemistry class. Some stupid project involving a poster is due. Class starts - crappy teacher writes down classwork - lectures require too much self exertion. Crappy teacher apparently finds picking apart random posters and telling the entire class why it sucks, often in the face of said poster's author, more educationally valuable. He went through the entire stack of 50 posters, skipping those he liked, and picking on those he didn't. Eventually got down to this one kid, one really sensitive kid.
And he picks it apart like hell. I mean, he spends 30 seconds on the other posters, but two minutes on this one. I won't go into details, but it was nasty.
The kid starts crying.
The teacher's unabashed. He keeps up the charade. The class starts laughing. Down in an unnoticed corner of the classroom, I was fuming.
The class was laughing at a kid who was crying. **** the people in my high school, they're all just worthless trash, they can burn in hell.
---- fin ---- [ no, the kid wasn't me ]
An enormous percentage of the people in my last school were asian. Here, it's about 5%. Having spent the last 4 years of life around asians asians asians, I feel justifiably out of place. All those white-trash black-gangsta stereotypes have become embedded in me, and I'm having trouble getting it out. Oh whatever.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I found my freedom - and my friends - when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Not because they're inferior -- nobody likes a superiority complex! I stopped caring what people thought about me because I realized that people who truly liked me, and people whom I could like in return, wouldn't need me to be different than who I already am. The ones who can't accept me aren't worth the angst. The ones who are are my friends, my girlfriend, my social circle, my connections. And it's a damn close circle because of it.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
well said <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->.
<!--QuoteBegin-taft+Sep 20 2004, 05:28 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (taft @ Sep 20 2004, 05:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->go to a library and pick up this book:
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
it is a very good book that everyone should read<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> The last time I met a self help guru, he was sent to the vet hospital. I'd rather not be motivated by the abstract writings of some half-arsed self-proclaimed people person thx you very much.
lol! ewww afro... nope, I'd be the long-haired brunette stranger with the fair skin and pleasant smile =D
meanie.
Hmmm... I guess not everyone gets on with their flat as much as we did =o Mind you, as you might have guessed; I'm pretty friendly in general so I tend to drag people together, willing or otherwise XD
Friendships take years to build, but they rarely die. For example, one of my best friends and I lost contact(I was taking higher level classes) in 5th grade. Around 8th grade, we got stuck in the same PE class. We started talking and carrying on like not a moment had passed. As for me, once you get me started, I'm actually a pretty good conversationalist (except around girls i might be attracted romantically to- I have friends who are girls, but no girlfriends.). The problem is- you're thinking of what the other person might think of you. When conversing with my friends, I know that they'll still like me no matter what stupid thing I say, so I feel free to say LOTS of stupid things. These stupid things generate the impression that I'm an amicable guy. Not so around people I don't know/who are ridiculously hot. <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Dame: Hi.
Doc: *looks around* Talking to me?
Dame: Yeah. What's your name?
Doc: *looks around* Talking to me?
Dame: Yeah....
Doc: *looks around* ....Are you talking to me, or something? Who are you?
Well, that was my attempt at using humour to take your mind off the situation.
Also, that teacher is horrible. Is he like that normally? In regards to Cam's situation: Join clubs. That's the BEST way to meet people- you'll at least have one thing in common with them.
<!--QuoteBegin-camO.o+Sep 20 2004, 05:36 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (camO.o @ Sep 20 2004, 05:36 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><!--QuoteBegin-taft+Sep 20 2004, 05:28 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (taft @ Sep 20 2004, 05:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->go to a library and pick up this book:
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
it is a very good book that everyone should read<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> The last time I met a self help guru, he was sent to the vet hospital. I'd rather not be motivated by the abstract writings of some half-arsed self-proclaimed people person thx you very much.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> you're welcome
your points are very understandable if you have had such bad experiences with such self-motivating techniques or mediums. I can understand why you wouldn't bother with something like it now.
but please, try taking this message to heart:
any <u>self-proclaimed</u> people person could never sell over 15 million copies of his book to other people
if you ever feel so inclined, I suggest you give this book a read in your spare time
<!--QuoteBegin-camO.o+Sep 20 2004, 05:25 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (camO.o @ Sep 20 2004, 05:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Anyways, today at school I found that my feelings of superiority are well founded.
Chemistry class. Some stupid project involving a poster is due. Class starts - crappy teacher writes down classwork - lectures require too much self exertion. Crappy teacher apparently finds picking apart random posters and telling the entire class why it sucks, often in the face of said poster's author, more educationally valuable. He went through the entire stack of 50 posters, skipping those he liked, and picking on those he didn't. Eventually got down to this one kid, one really sensitive kid.
And he picks it apart like hell. I mean, he spends 30 seconds on the other posters, but two minutes on this one. I won't go into details, but it was nasty.
The kid starts crying.
The teacher's unabashed. He keeps up the charade. The class starts laughing. Down in an unnoticed corner of the classroom, I was fuming.
The class was laughing at a kid who was crying. **** the people in my high school, they're all just worthless trash, they can burn in hell.
---- fin ---- [ no, the kid wasn't me ]
An enormous percentage of the people in my last school were asian. Here, it's about 5%. Having spent the last 4 years of life around asians asians asians, I feel justifiably out of place. All those white-trash black-gangsta stereotypes have become embedded in me, and I'm having trouble getting it out. Oh whatever.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I found my freedom - and my friends - when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Not because they're inferior -- nobody likes a superiority complex! I stopped caring what people thought about me because I realized that people who truly liked me, and people whom I could like in return, wouldn't need me to be different than who I already am. The ones who can't accept me aren't worth the angst. The ones who are are my friends, my girlfriend, my social circle, my connections. And it's a damn close circle because of it.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
well said <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> See Last, if I were you I would have defended that kid.
The difference between me and you? /forlorn plays ACDC - Big Balls
Be yourself, some people like you for who you are. Be different, be more outgoing.
About that little incident, have you ever read the Chocolate War? It's a children's book with a very adult theme.
If somebody who is a petty dictator singles a person out and makes fun of them, they are exercising the same right as Hitler did. I would go so far as to say the people who didn't enjoy what they saw and did nothing are just as bad as the people who laughed.
Help a guy in need, nobody deserves that sort of blatant abuse.
<!--QuoteBegin-Forlorn+Sep 20 2004, 06:58 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Forlorn @ Sep 20 2004, 06:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->See Last, if I were you I would have defended that kid.
The difference between me and you? /forlorn plays ACDC - Big Balls<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> You gloat over yourself too much. I would turn the volume down so you don't annoy your neighors. Rapier's statement is well said and makes a lot of sense. Thanks.
taft: no offense <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->. I'm just not interested in having a book to help me through life, I've always taken a personal approach to dealing with problems, with this thread perhaps being an exception. I don't have very much respect for most therapists/"helping" people, because their desire to help is more often then not a result of gold or praise-seeking, when in fact they understand very little about human nature. A good amount of teachers are like this, in fact.
<!--QuoteBegin-camO.o+Sep 20 2004, 07:32 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (camO.o @ Sep 20 2004, 07:32 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Forlorn+Sep 20 2004, 06:58 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Forlorn @ Sep 20 2004, 06:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->See Last, if I were you I would have defended that kid.
The difference between me and you? /forlorn plays ACDC - Big Balls<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> You gloat over yourself too much. I would turn the volume down so you don't annoy your neighors. Rapier's statement is well said and makes a lot of sense. Thanks. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I'm not gloating over myself, I'm gloating over you in an atempt for you to get some guts.
Besides the 50 million times I've spoken out for you so people would stop treating you like **** on IRC? Have we come full circle? Please shutup if you have nothing nearly intelligent to say.
<!--QuoteBegin-docchimpy+Sep 20 2004, 05:47 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (docchimpy @ Sep 20 2004, 05:47 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I'm actually a pretty good conversationalist (except around girls i might be attracted romantically to- I have friends who are girls, but no girlfriends.). The problem is- you're thinking of what the other person might think of you. When conversing with my friends, I know that they'll still like me no matter what stupid thing I say, so I feel free to say LOTS of stupid things. These stupid things generate the impression that I'm an amicable guy. Not so around people I don't know/who are ridiculously hot. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> I'm definetly feeling ya on that one. Same problem right freaking here. My ability to communicate goes down when I don't know the person and when I care to much about what the person thinks of me.
What's worse about my college is that people are always looking at me with this strange expression of interest and surprise. I mean, what did I dress funny or something? (Like heck I would, I have <i>great</i> fashion sense imo, working in retail helps you with that.) So like, even when I am waiting in line to get breakfast at the Student Center, like I was today, these two girls in front of me were looking back at me every once in a while, and since I wasn't there with anyone I knew, I felt horribly out of place. Then a kid I knew came and I had a chance to talk to someone, so I didn't feel like the goose in duck duck goose. In fact that <b>keeps</b> happening to me, people doing double takes when I walk by as if I am wearing some giant stupid look on my face, though I <b>swear</b> I looked fine in the mirror that morning. Any way I can't bloody stand it.
If you're in high-school it is so easy to talk to people.
Just walk out of class and complain about the class being boring, or the teacher being an ****. Most people in high-school, or at least my school are really friendly. I just have this issue where I can't trust people. I have alot of friends at school, but I only see one outside of school, and he doesn't even goto school with me. Kind of a weird thing I have.. Social interaction is needed by humans, some people like it more on the internet becuase they can be someone else. They can turn around and not be judged by physical size, strength, appearance, weight, sex, race, or ANYTHING. Uh, sorry a little off topic. Anyway, you have to just talk to people a tiny bit. Stick up for that person in Chemistry and you will have yourself a new friend. Or try joining something you are interested in. I for one got into my school's student council (didnt even want it in the first place but) and I know NO ONE there. Of couse I am shy, but at the same time I already met a new person. Anything you can do to be around people will help you.
<!--QuoteBegin-docchimpy+Sep 20 2004, 05:47 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (docchimpy @ Sep 20 2004, 05:47 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Friendships take years to build, but they rarely die. For example, one of my best friends and I lost contact(I was taking higher level classes) in 5th grade. Around 8th grade, we got stuck in the same PE class. We started talking and carrying on like not a moment had passed. As for me, once you get me started, I'm actually a pretty good conversationalist (except around girls i might be attracted romantically to- I have friends who are girls, but no girlfriends.). The problem is- you're thinking of what the other person might think of you. When conversing with my friends, I know that they'll still like me no matter what stupid thing I say, so I feel free to say LOTS of stupid things. These stupid things generate the impression that I'm an amicable guy. Not so around people I don't know/who are ridiculously hot. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Yeah, I have the same issue. I can talk to girls that are just friends but when I talk to one that is attractive I worry too much.
Friends are over-rated, really. I used to have a bunch and they all turned out to be idiots I couldn't stand and spent all my time insulting until I stopped talking to or seeing them.
Moral of the story? Friends are just a waste of time and energy that could be spent doing other things. Like playing videogames!
Oh, and yeah, Cam, grow a pair. Wah, wah. Stop whining and do something about it.
Let's consider if I had helped the kid in chem. What do I say hm? Raise my hand and tell my teacher to drop it? I would then get a nice freaking detention, a lecture, and look like a freaking idiot on top of it all. Do you really think that kid is gonna be grateful I helped him? He's about 130, knows a few people in class, and some 110lb anti-social dude sticks up for him. Ya.
All of you that are claiming I should've helped the kid - ask yourself what you would've done in my situation. I mean really think about it. Not just "I would've done something," but "what would I have done?"
p.s. Testament, stop riding on Forlorn's balls. Stop using this thread as a way of exacting personal revenge on me for whatever I did that made you annoy the hell out of me, and the rest of these forums.
Actually, I can't stand Forlorn or you. The only thing Forlorn has going for him is that I don't think he's done an Off-Topic "I"m lonely, give me symphathy" post yet.
And don't think you're special enough for anyone to have any kind of personal grudge against you.
<!--QuoteBegin-camO.o+Sep 20 2004, 09:38 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (camO.o @ Sep 20 2004, 09:38 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Let's consider if I had helped the kid in chem. What do I say hm? Raise my hand and tell my teacher to drop it? I would then get a nice freaking detention, a lecture, and look like a freaking idiot on top of it all. Do you really think that kid is gonna be grateful I helped him? He's about 130, knows a few people in class, and some 110lb anti-social dude sticks up for him. Ya. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I have to agree with you here. You have to be realistic in certain situations. He probably wouldn't have appreciated that kind of thing. The best thing for his sake would have been talking to him after class, seeing if you could help him out. Making a big scene would probably not be something he would appreciate.
<!--QuoteBegin-Testament+Sep 20 2004, 09:40 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Testament @ Sep 20 2004, 09:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> And don't think you're special enough for anyone to have any kind of personal grudge against you. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Oh, but apparently you do.
<!--QuoteBegin-Invazn+Sep 20 2004, 09:45 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Invazn @ Sep 20 2004, 09:45 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Is making friends that hard? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Real ones. You bet your arse it is.
Comments
But that really isn't the big reason why I'm having trouble at this place. The <i>biggest</i> reason, or reasons I should say is because A.) I commute, so I have 2-4 hours in the morning everyday to meet people and make friends before I head home and B.) I have nothing in common with those people. They all have their country clubs and their second homes while my single-parent home shakes on its foundation because of my father's negligence. What do I talk to these people about? How can I relate to them? The answer is: I can't. Hell I can't even hold a lan party and find out where the gamers are there because since I don't live on campus, I can't have the party closer than a 30 minute drive away.
I apologize, this isn't my thread and I ranted in it. You are under no circumstances obligated to read that. ^ <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I know how you feel. Back in high school I had the most diverse freind group of any group of people I have ever been in anywhere esle. Both my best freinds were extroverts, one being a hardcore conservitive (which is weird for me because I have fairly hard left wing) and the other being a bubbly international student from hong kong. In addition I knew pretty much everyone quite well, save a few elitest 'popular clique' kids. Coming to Uni, everyone is white, except for a couple african exchange students, and my roomie is pretty much the exact same personality as me. I happen to be lucky that my roomie is from town, so we go and hang with his buddies quite a bit, otherwize i would probably be hitting the shell shock just as much as the rest of you.
<randomthought>Its gonna be really wierd when we are the old guys listening to the next generation saying this last year, and we'll all be like "ya I remember feeling lonely, just keep plugging and it will turn out fine"</randomthough>
Dammit, Forlorn, stop being sensible. (:
He's right. So much of humanity is terrified of ... well, of being noticed. We dress alike, we talk alike. We listen to the same music, wear the same clothes. All because to be different is to stand out, to be noticed -- and if you're noticed, someone might laugh, or point, or whisper, or throw something at you.
I found my freedom - and my friends - when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Not because they're inferior -- nobody likes a superiority complex! I stopped caring what people thought about me because I realized that people who truly liked me, and people whom I could like in return, wouldn't need me to be different than who I already am. The ones who can't accept me aren't worth the angst. The ones who are are my friends, my girlfriend, my social circle, my connections. And it's a damn close circle because of it.
Don't be afraid to draw attention to yourself. Shrug off the bad, sift through it and find the people who notice you and like what they see.
Now i'm stuck at home and work while being anti-social. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Im in the same situation. Im at a point where I dont know where I want to go with my life, all my friends have moved on, and I work, and have no social life. I really hate it but theres nothing I can do about it for a good year or so :|
So awsome.
Err..
Unless you're me. I didn't talk to my flatmates after the first day of moving in. :/
Speaking from experience, this is not always the case. Currently at University I know loads of people. We go out for drinks and such regularly, yet I am living at home at the moment, a good 40 minutes away from the University campus by train. I also had the luck (?) to spend a year at York University, living on campus, sharing a kitchen with 16 people, and I found people very unwilling to involve with people outside of cliques. Maybe it is just the different type of University, different groups of people, a personal dislike for student accomodation, or possibly increased confidence on my part.
One thing I would suggest is dropping the attitude of superiority, and don't try and categorise people. It really doesn't win people over (unless your name is Forlorn <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> ). I second Gem's point that you have to "bother to make with the niceness".
<!--QuoteBegin-Geminosity+Sep 20 2004, 08:03 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Geminosity @ Sep 20 2004, 08:03 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->If some stranger suddenly starts chatterng away to you while you're waiting at a bustop with them it's probably me - Gem<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ahh, finally, the truth is revealed. Gem is a 75-year-old afro-carribean man with a thick Dudley accent. I knew it. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Chemistry class. Some stupid project involving a poster is due. Class starts - crappy teacher writes down classwork - lectures require too much self exertion. Crappy teacher apparently finds picking apart random posters and telling the entire class why it sucks, often in the face of said poster's author, more educationally valuable. He went through the entire stack of 50 posters, skipping those he liked, and picking on those he didn't. Eventually got down to this one kid, one really sensitive kid.
And he picks it apart like hell. I mean, he spends 30 seconds on the other posters, but two minutes on this one. I won't go into details, but it was nasty.
The kid starts crying.
The teacher's unabashed. He keeps up the charade. The class starts laughing. Down in an unnoticed corner of the classroom, I was fuming.
The class was laughing at a kid who was crying. **** the people in my high school, they're all just worthless trash, they can burn in hell.
---- fin ---- [ no, the kid wasn't me ]
An enormous percentage of the people in my last school were asian. Here, it's about 5%. Having spent the last 4 years of life around asians asians asians, I feel justifiably out of place. All those white-trash black-gangsta stereotypes have become embedded in me, and I'm having trouble getting it out. Oh whatever.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I found my freedom - and my friends - when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Not because they're inferior -- nobody likes a superiority complex! I stopped caring what people thought about me because I realized that people who truly liked me, and people whom I could like in return, wouldn't need me to be different than who I already am. The ones who can't accept me aren't worth the angst. The ones who are are my friends, my girlfriend, my social circle, my connections. And it's a damn close circle because of it.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
well said <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->.
How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
it is a very good book that everyone should read
How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
it is a very good book that everyone should read<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
The last time I met a self help guru, he was sent to the vet hospital. I'd rather not be motivated by the abstract writings of some half-arsed self-proclaimed people person thx you very much.
meanie.
Hmmm... I guess not everyone gets on with their flat as much as we did =o
Mind you, as you might have guessed; I'm pretty friendly in general so I tend to drag people together, willing or otherwise XD
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
Dame: Hi.
Doc: *looks around* Talking to me?
Dame: Yeah. What's your name?
Doc: *looks around* Talking to me?
Dame: Yeah....
Doc: *looks around* ....Are you talking to me, or something? Who are you?
Dame: Jerk! *kicks Doc in the shin and walks off*
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Once, I got past this stage, it wasn't pretty:
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
*in a flirty voice* Chick: But I guess <i>Doc</i> would know about that sort of thing, right Doc?
Doc: What?
Chick: *laughs*
Doc: So............................................................
*1 minute, 17 seconds of silence*
How about them subatomic particles, eh? I mean, zippin' around like nobody's buisness. Yeah.
*Inner Monologue*: <i> Say something she can relate to, fool!</i>
Doc: Uh....I....enjoy.....shopping?
*Inner Monologue*: <i> Brilliant!</i>
Chick: *laughs and walks off*
DOC loses 50 EGO. Loses 1 SELF ESTEEM level.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Well, that was my attempt at using humour to take your mind off the situation.
Also, that teacher is horrible. Is he like that normally? In regards to Cam's situation: Join clubs. That's the BEST way to meet people- you'll at least have one thing in common with them.
Also, what is it with females and skin?
How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie
it is a very good book that everyone should read<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
The last time I met a self help guru, he was sent to the vet hospital. I'd rather not be motivated by the abstract writings of some half-arsed self-proclaimed people person thx you very much.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
you're welcome
your points are very understandable if you have had such bad experiences with such self-motivating techniques or mediums. I can understand why you wouldn't bother with something like it now.
but please, try taking this message to heart:
any <u>self-proclaimed</u> people person could never sell over 15 million copies of his book to other people
if you ever feel so inclined, I suggest you give this book a read in your spare time
Chemistry class. Some stupid project involving a poster is due. Class starts - crappy teacher writes down classwork - lectures require too much self exertion. Crappy teacher apparently finds picking apart random posters and telling the entire class why it sucks, often in the face of said poster's author, more educationally valuable. He went through the entire stack of 50 posters, skipping those he liked, and picking on those he didn't. Eventually got down to this one kid, one really sensitive kid.
And he picks it apart like hell. I mean, he spends 30 seconds on the other posters, but two minutes on this one. I won't go into details, but it was nasty.
The kid starts crying.
The teacher's unabashed. He keeps up the charade. The class starts laughing. Down in an unnoticed corner of the classroom, I was fuming.
The class was laughing at a kid who was crying. **** the people in my high school, they're all just worthless trash, they can burn in hell.
---- fin ---- [ no, the kid wasn't me ]
An enormous percentage of the people in my last school were asian. Here, it's about 5%. Having spent the last 4 years of life around asians asians asians, I feel justifiably out of place. All those white-trash black-gangsta stereotypes have become embedded in me, and I'm having trouble getting it out. Oh whatever.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I found my freedom - and my friends - when I stopped caring what people thought of me. Not because they're inferior -- nobody likes a superiority complex! I stopped caring what people thought about me because I realized that people who truly liked me, and people whom I could like in return, wouldn't need me to be different than who I already am. The ones who can't accept me aren't worth the angst. The ones who are are my friends, my girlfriend, my social circle, my connections. And it's a damn close circle because of it.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
well said <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
See Last, if I were you I would have defended that kid.
The difference between me and you? /forlorn plays ACDC - Big Balls
Be yourself, some people like you for who you are. Be different, be more outgoing.
About that little incident, have you ever read the Chocolate War? It's a children's book with a very adult theme.
If somebody who is a petty dictator singles a person out and makes fun of them, they are exercising the same right as Hitler did. I would go so far as to say the people who didn't enjoy what they saw and did nothing are just as bad as the people who laughed.
Help a guy in need, nobody deserves that sort of blatant abuse.
Dare to disturb the universe.
The difference between me and you? /forlorn plays ACDC - Big Balls<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You gloat over yourself too much. I would turn the volume down so you don't annoy your neighors. Rapier's statement is well said and makes a lot of sense. Thanks.
taft: no offense <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->. I'm just not interested in having a book to help me through life, I've always taken a personal approach to dealing with problems, with this thread perhaps being an exception. I don't have very much respect for most therapists/"helping" people, because their desire to help is more often then not a result of gold or praise-seeking, when in fact they understand very little about human nature. A good amount of teachers are like this, in fact.
The difference between me and you? /forlorn plays ACDC - Big Balls<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You gloat over yourself too much. I would turn the volume down so you don't annoy your neighors. Rapier's statement is well said and makes a lot of sense. Thanks. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I'm not gloating over myself, I'm gloating over you in an atempt for you to get some guts.
I wish I knew how to not worry about what others think of me...
I'm definetly feeling ya on that one. Same problem right freaking here. My ability to communicate goes down when I don't know the person and when I care to much about what the person thinks of me.
What's worse about my college is that people are always looking at me with this strange expression of interest and surprise. I mean, what did I dress funny or something? (Like heck I would, I have <i>great</i> fashion sense imo, working in retail helps you with that.) So like, even when I am waiting in line to get breakfast at the Student Center, like I was today, these two girls in front of me were looking back at me every once in a while, and since I wasn't there with anyone I knew, I felt horribly out of place. Then a kid I knew came and I had a chance to talk to someone, so I didn't feel like the goose in duck duck goose. In fact that <b>keeps</b> happening to me, people doing double takes when I walk by as if I am wearing some giant stupid look on my face, though I <b>swear</b> I looked fine in the mirror that morning. Any way I can't bloody stand it.
Just walk out of class and complain about the class being boring, or the teacher being an ****. Most people in high-school, or at least my school are really friendly. I just have this issue where I can't trust people. I have alot of friends at school, but I only see one outside of school, and he doesn't even goto school with me. Kind of a weird thing I have.. Social interaction is needed by humans, some people like it more on the internet becuase they can be someone else. They can turn around and not be judged by physical size, strength, appearance, weight, sex, race, or ANYTHING. Uh, sorry a little off topic. Anyway, you have to just talk to people a tiny bit. Stick up for that person in Chemistry and you will have yourself a new friend. Or try joining something you are interested in. I for one got into my school's student council (didnt even want it in the first place but) and I know NO ONE there. Of couse I am shy, but at the same time I already met a new person. Anything you can do to be around people will help you.
in summary
TALK TO PEOPLE
<!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, I have the same issue. I can talk to girls that are just friends but when I talk to one that is attractive I worry too much.
Moral of the story? Friends are just a waste of time and energy that could be spent doing other things. Like playing videogames!
Oh, and yeah, Cam, grow a pair. Wah, wah. Stop whining and do something about it.
All of you that are claiming I should've helped the kid - ask yourself what you would've done in my situation. I mean really think about it. Not just "I would've done something," but "what would I have done?"
p.s. Testament, stop riding on Forlorn's balls. Stop using this thread as a way of exacting personal revenge on me for whatever I did that made you annoy the hell out of me, and the rest of these forums.
And don't think you're special enough for anyone to have any kind of personal grudge against you.
I have to agree with you here. You have to be realistic in certain situations. He probably wouldn't have appreciated that kind of thing. The best thing for his sake would have been talking to him after class, seeing if you could help him out. Making a big scene would probably not be something he would appreciate.
Oh and why did forlorn call you Last?
Oh, but apparently you do.
Real ones. You bet your arse it is.