Happy Fun Broken Drive Adventure Time!
<div class="IPBDescription">^____^</div> A few days ago, everything was happy in the black plastic world of <span style='color:red'>redfordsdvdromdrivelandplace</span>. I placed these mythical artifacts called "Cee Dee Roms" within the magical world and the numerous populations of small "drive gnomes" would read the CD. Then they harvested the data using repeditive movements much like an old merry melodies cartoon, then delivered it to my hard drive where it could be processed, stored, and would allow me to play Morrowind. However, a great evil threatened to assult <span style='color:red'>redfordsdvdromdrivelandplace</span> and destroy it forever! Watch in horror on the edge of your seat as I tell this tale of adventure, suspense, and bacon!
About two days ago, I felt like playing BF1942. In paticular, I wanted to play some Desert Combat. Regardless of the fact that it's not paticulally balanced, running around trying to kill helicopters with hand grenades is fun (I actually did it one time, too). So, I stuck the BF1942 CD tightly within my drive and closed it. Instead of the typical *whirrrrRRRRRRR-SLISHSLISH---rrRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* noise that the Drive Gnomes make when they read a CD, I was greeted to somthing more akin to
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>*RRRRRRR rrr RRRRRRR sllllliiishhh rrrRRRRR CLICK rrrRRRRR CLICK rrrRRRRR CLICK*</span>
repeated about twenty times before I got fed up and ejected the CD. I was horrified. Apparently some sort of mass genocide had affected my gnomes and they could no longer read my CDs! I feared the worst! I feared the dreaded... Mechana CalError. *DUN DUN DUN* I could only hope my poor Drive Gnomes had the strength to fight back the dreaded Mechana and save my computer from the dreaded gateway tech staff.
They couldn't. The drive never recovered. I could tell it was the work of Mechana CalError because I could physically see components inside of my drive not working correctly, which was preventing the CD from being spun up correctly. So, with a heavy heart, I was forced to email gateway. I filled out the form and stated clearly that I had proof of a drive failure based on the bahvor of my drive and asked for a new one.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Hello Skyler,
Thank you for your e-mail.
I am glad to take this opportunity to assist you in this issue. I will
do my best to address your concern. I see that the DVD-ROM drive on
your computer is not working properly.
From the description you have provided, it appears the internal
mechanism of the DVD-ROM driver has gone bad and I can assure you that
we will replace the DVD-ROM drive if it found defective.
Please perform the simple steps provided below to confirm the
malfunctioning of the DVD-ROM drive on your computer.
In order to properly diagnose your issue, please perform the PC-Doctor
test on the DVD-ROM drive.
To start the Tests, perform the steps listed below:
*INSTRUCTIONS*
Please respond with the results of your test.
For more information on PC-Doctor or the various tests available, please
select the PC-Doctor Help link located on your left-side panel under
"Other".
If the PC Doctor application has not installed on your computer, then
please follow the steps provided below to install the application from
the applications CD(part number:7513700) shipped with your computer.
*INSTRUCTIONS*<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yep. They not only wanted to make me use a utility to prove my poor drive gnomes were dead, but they suggested I load the software OFF A CD. Thank goodness I had it on my computer!
*About 5 minutes of my DVD-ROM struggling to read my morrowind CD for the test later*
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->You just made my poor drive bust a nut. hahfhahf. Anyway. Results are
attached. It failed everything, which would be expected. I will note that
since my DVD-ROM drive is incapable of reading CDs, how would you expect me
to install PC-Doctor FROM the CD if I didn't have it allready installed?
Christ.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Note the location of "Christ" in that email. The next tech who replied to my case was either overly helpful or drunken.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Hello Christ,
Thank you for your reply.
From your message, I found that you have attached the results of PC
Doctor test on the DVD-ROM drive of your computer. Please note that we
will not open any attachments due to security reasons. Therefore please
resend the PC Doctor test results in plain text so that we can verify
the test results and take the immediate steps towards replacing the
drive.
Meanwhile I would like to direct you to the Microsoft Support Web page
for further information. Please visit the Internet address below:
*Information regarding microsoft technical support that allows you to troubleshoot what is wrong with your CD/DVD-ROM drive*
am directing you to this site for informational purposes only, not for
support. Gateway encourages you to visit this site for useful
information. Please keep in mind that if you download or install
anything from another vendor's site, you are acting on your own behalf.
Gateway assumes no responsibility for support.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Screw you, Otis. I also want to punch Otis. DARN U OTIS. At least I should be flattered that Otis THINKS I AM THE SON OF GOD. But wait, what is this?
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Rate me by going to the address I have provided below and clicking on
'Rate Your Support Agent'. There you will find a quick and easy survey.
*URL REMOVED TO PROTECT OTIS*<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I gave otis all ones.
So, now gateway has read the email, and they believe that my drive is in fact broken, and they are sending me a new one. What's the moral of this story? Gateway drives break really easy and I want to punch otis. The end. Oh yes. And bacon.
About two days ago, I felt like playing BF1942. In paticular, I wanted to play some Desert Combat. Regardless of the fact that it's not paticulally balanced, running around trying to kill helicopters with hand grenades is fun (I actually did it one time, too). So, I stuck the BF1942 CD tightly within my drive and closed it. Instead of the typical *whirrrrRRRRRRR-SLISHSLISH---rrRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* noise that the Drive Gnomes make when they read a CD, I was greeted to somthing more akin to
<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>*RRRRRRR rrr RRRRRRR sllllliiishhh rrrRRRRR CLICK rrrRRRRR CLICK rrrRRRRR CLICK*</span>
repeated about twenty times before I got fed up and ejected the CD. I was horrified. Apparently some sort of mass genocide had affected my gnomes and they could no longer read my CDs! I feared the worst! I feared the dreaded... Mechana CalError. *DUN DUN DUN* I could only hope my poor Drive Gnomes had the strength to fight back the dreaded Mechana and save my computer from the dreaded gateway tech staff.
They couldn't. The drive never recovered. I could tell it was the work of Mechana CalError because I could physically see components inside of my drive not working correctly, which was preventing the CD from being spun up correctly. So, with a heavy heart, I was forced to email gateway. I filled out the form and stated clearly that I had proof of a drive failure based on the bahvor of my drive and asked for a new one.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Hello Skyler,
Thank you for your e-mail.
I am glad to take this opportunity to assist you in this issue. I will
do my best to address your concern. I see that the DVD-ROM drive on
your computer is not working properly.
From the description you have provided, it appears the internal
mechanism of the DVD-ROM driver has gone bad and I can assure you that
we will replace the DVD-ROM drive if it found defective.
Please perform the simple steps provided below to confirm the
malfunctioning of the DVD-ROM drive on your computer.
In order to properly diagnose your issue, please perform the PC-Doctor
test on the DVD-ROM drive.
To start the Tests, perform the steps listed below:
*INSTRUCTIONS*
Please respond with the results of your test.
For more information on PC-Doctor or the various tests available, please
select the PC-Doctor Help link located on your left-side panel under
"Other".
If the PC Doctor application has not installed on your computer, then
please follow the steps provided below to install the application from
the applications CD(part number:7513700) shipped with your computer.
*INSTRUCTIONS*<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yep. They not only wanted to make me use a utility to prove my poor drive gnomes were dead, but they suggested I load the software OFF A CD. Thank goodness I had it on my computer!
*About 5 minutes of my DVD-ROM struggling to read my morrowind CD for the test later*
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->You just made my poor drive bust a nut. hahfhahf. Anyway. Results are
attached. It failed everything, which would be expected. I will note that
since my DVD-ROM drive is incapable of reading CDs, how would you expect me
to install PC-Doctor FROM the CD if I didn't have it allready installed?
Christ.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Note the location of "Christ" in that email. The next tech who replied to my case was either overly helpful or drunken.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Hello Christ,
Thank you for your reply.
From your message, I found that you have attached the results of PC
Doctor test on the DVD-ROM drive of your computer. Please note that we
will not open any attachments due to security reasons. Therefore please
resend the PC Doctor test results in plain text so that we can verify
the test results and take the immediate steps towards replacing the
drive.
Meanwhile I would like to direct you to the Microsoft Support Web page
for further information. Please visit the Internet address below:
*Information regarding microsoft technical support that allows you to troubleshoot what is wrong with your CD/DVD-ROM drive*
am directing you to this site for informational purposes only, not for
support. Gateway encourages you to visit this site for useful
information. Please keep in mind that if you download or install
anything from another vendor's site, you are acting on your own behalf.
Gateway assumes no responsibility for support.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Screw you, Otis. I also want to punch Otis. DARN U OTIS. At least I should be flattered that Otis THINKS I AM THE SON OF GOD. But wait, what is this?
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Rate me by going to the address I have provided below and clicking on
'Rate Your Support Agent'. There you will find a quick and easy survey.
*URL REMOVED TO PROTECT OTIS*<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I gave otis all ones.
So, now gateway has read the email, and they believe that my drive is in fact broken, and they are sending me a new one. What's the moral of this story? Gateway drives break really easy and I want to punch otis. The end. Oh yes. And bacon.
Comments
Yay!
Nicely written, gave me a good laugh <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
YUO GET THE CONGRESSIONAL MEDAL OF AWESOME!
<img src='http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-7/765189/cmoa.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
I suggest a career in writing children's books for geeks.
Not correct!
I suggest a career in writing books for geeks.
<span style='color:red'>^
|</span>
Better
Christ.
It should be understood that most major companies are 1 of two things;
1. Total nubs, meaning they get viruses from outlook and don't have tech guys that can deal with the smallest issue (often don't run firewalls either, go figure)
2. Cheap as hell, meaning that anti virus software costs money, so they would rather make life hell for thier employees.
You'd think they would know better by now
Jesus.
God.
Hello Christ,
Thank you for your reply.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->I laughed at that. He needs a shirt that says GRADE-A MORON.
God. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Dear God.
I would like to take a swing at Otis too, where do we sign up?
Hello Christ,
Thank you for your reply.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thats pure gold.
Christ.
what have i started in this thread?
Christ.
<!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo--> GateWay... bought a computer a long time ago from them and the PSU burnt out in a few hours.
The drive will come tomorrow (wednesday) with luck, and Friday without it. I wish at least one time, however, I would not only receive my product early but recieve it without getting my RDA of stupidity from the tech support staff. I think this exchange speaks for itself, so take it away Greg.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I have a question. We generally use a bank card account with a limited
amount of money online. This reduces the chance that we will lose any large
amount of money should the account be compromised. Since I assume that you
will be checking the account balance to see if we can affoard the part in
the case that we do not send the old drive back to you, how much money will
we need in the account to pay for the new drive if needed?<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
This is a very clear question, no? I'm sure that 90% of the board's posters and even noslinker will be able to understand what I was asking here. I need to know if they won't send the new drive if the account can't pay for it. This is my mom and dad's policy, not mine btw - I just didn't want to complicate matters. This was in vain, because I ended up getting a reply from a tech support staff even dumber then Otis!
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Hello Skyler,
Thank you for your reply. I see that you belive that we will charge you
for your replacement order. I apologize for any confusion and I take
this opportunity to clarify you in this regard. Skyler, on researching
our records I have found that you are within Limited Warranty and you
are definitely eligible for replacement at free of cost. Please note
that we request you provide the method of payment is only for a security
measure. You will be receiving the return labels along with the new
hard drive. All that you have to do is to return the defective hard
drive to Gateway using that return labels. If you don't return the
defective hard drive to Gateway within 7 business days, you will be
receiving the invoice as a reminder and you will be charged for the
defective hard drive if it is not returned within the given time frame.
Regarding the price of the defective hard drive, please note that we
have no information regarding the price at this time. The price will be
generated in our records only after the new replacement hard drive has
been shipped to you.
I do see that you would like to know your account balance. Skyler,
being in customer service department I am unable to comment on your
inquiry. Please contact Citibank USA by phone at (800) 927-1948. They
will provide the information you need. Checks may be made payable to
'Gateway Credit Program' and sent to the address listed below.
*ADRESS*
You can also view your billing statements, account balance, and due
dates at the Web address below.
*URL*
If you have any issues with the online page, please call (800) 767-9804.
For Customer Service, press 1, and for Technical Assistance, press 2.
For the purchase of new hard drive, please note Gateway has a separate
dedicated team to interact with customers regarding the sales queries.
Our Gateway consultant is technically expertise in suggesting right
product to the customer is available online. He is the right person to
comment on the stock availability, compatibility and price information.
Consultant are always available online, you can easily interact with
them by clicking on the link below:
For more information or to place your order, please contact a Gateway
Consultant at the address below:
*URL*
Simply click the link above to contact a Gateway Consultant. If you are
unable to click the link follow these steps to copy and paste the link:
1. Highlight the entire link starting with http:
2. Right click on the highlighted text
3. Select copy from the menu
4. Right click on the location field in your browser
5. Select Paste from the menu
6. Press Enter
Consultants are available 7 days a week and 24 hours a day for your
convenience.
I have documented this correspondence in Service Request Number
*NUMBER* in our contact tracking database. Please use this number
in the future if you need to contact us again regarding this issue.
Please reply to this message if you require further assistance with this
issue.
Thank you.
Stew
Badge GWSI215
Online Customer Support Team
Gateway<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yes. Stew not only totally misinterpreted my question somehow, but he assumed that I was an idiot, and then GAVE ME INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO COPY/PASTE. This is possibly the worst case of tech support idiocy ever. He should get an award from gateway for "excellence in being a complete and utter moron". Regardless, I dropped the question at that point, and actually managed to make a painless exchance with another gateway tech over the credit information being entered. Thusly, my new drive should be here tomorrow. I hope. I HOPE.
Part three will follow where I document the installation, because, they say instructions are included - so you might be getting a scan or somthing. We'll see, based on what they look like. They might not even send me the correct part, which will lead to a very colorful exchange, I'm sure.
Until then, same bat time, same bat channel.
Ahhh... stupid techie stories. I must admit that Otis and Stew are two of the stupidest tech support minions that I've ever heard about...
No, I think they're dumb enough to deserve Life for Idiots. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Christ
Build your own next time.
Any techie that even suggests windows ME i would want to burn
as for the stupidity displayed in their email replies... "only in america..."
You have to remember that for every person with a legitimate problem he probably has a few hundred who haven't noticed that the power is off at the wall socket.
I have a large selection of draft emails and just cut and paste anything even vaguely relevant at them in the hope they shut up and go away. Its kind of a shotgun affect and is very patronising but if you throw enough information their way then surely some of it will help them. Do you really think he wrote all of that just for you when he probably has a few hundred a day to answer?
Never underestimate how incredibly moronic the general population is.