*sigh* Relationships
Caboose
title = name(self, handle) Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13597Members, Constellation
title = name(self, handle) Join Date: 2003-02-15 Member: 13597Members, Constellation
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">again...</div> Ok, your all thinking, wow, another one of theese guys that can't get a date has come to the OT forum for help again. (Your rite.)
I am a shy guy, not verry good at talking to members of the other sex, when I like them like that...
I'm a fairly popular guy, I'm attractive and dress well from what I've been told by female friends. I just don't know how to talk to girls (with the intent to date), I get nervous and what-not because I'm affraid of rejection I guess. (Both imidiate and after a girl gets to know me).
There are situations that I think back on that I messed up on so badly, and could have had a relationship from that I simply ruined for myself because I'm so shy. (Like last year a gourgous and very nice (now cheerleader) girl and I were flurting a lot, but I never did anything, and yea...)
Anyone got any confidence tips other than "just quit being shy"?
I am a shy guy, not verry good at talking to members of the other sex, when I like them like that...
I'm a fairly popular guy, I'm attractive and dress well from what I've been told by female friends. I just don't know how to talk to girls (with the intent to date), I get nervous and what-not because I'm affraid of rejection I guess. (Both imidiate and after a girl gets to know me).
There are situations that I think back on that I messed up on so badly, and could have had a relationship from that I simply ruined for myself because I'm so shy. (Like last year a gourgous and very nice (now cheerleader) girl and I were flurting a lot, but I never did anything, and yea...)
Anyone got any confidence tips other than "just quit being shy"?
Comments
You can lead the horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
We can give you tips, tell you what you're doing wrong, but in the end it's up to YOU to take a look at yourself and realise how unimportant it is, and just go out there. Who cares if you get rejected? Treat it in good humour and laugh at yourself and them later on, or even while you're getting rejected. "Rejected". Jesus. You make it sound so primaryschool-ish.
I think you have some huge misconceptions about 'dating', and women. It's not like a game, with preset rules [other than the base instincts, which can't be 'counted for' just by wearing a tie or something]. Everybody approaches the female kind differently. Some take it like they're just going up and meeting new people, some throw as many pickup lines as they can at them, and go for what they've seen in the movies [I'll come back to that later]... I suggest just being really comfortable, going up and talking to them. Don't go in with an aim to get their number, or their starsign, or their children. Just go over and talk to them, and whatever happens, happens. It's not the end of the world. You will encounter so many difficulties - you will be uncomfortable at first, most of the girls won't be single [more on this]... well, okay, only two difficulties that I can think of right now.
Okay, elaborating more on what I was saying before, because i can't remember where I was going with this.
Preset rules - there isn't anything like "He must wear a tie" or "we have to meet at this kind of place"... it depends on what the girl is like and what mood she is in now... if you're just comfortable with yourself, funny, comfortable with HER, charming, then you'll do fine. If you don't think you can do these, trust me you can. At the start, when you're inexperienced, just try and.. give yourself a theme. When you're hanging out with them, and talking, just think 'warm. warm. warm. warm' and try and make your attitude like that... be warm to them <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> Practise makes perfect, and don't let any of those damned celibate monks tell you that that doesn't relate to sex! it does!
Movies - Dating in movies is mostly ridiculous. But that's what movies are for. However, one thing to look out for is the style of James Bond... he is always picking up the chicks [its a movie!], but with that sort of charm, he probably would be picking up in real life anyway. So pay attention to what he does, and how he acts. Also, you get to see the action and sex scenes, so the movies have 3 factors going for them.
Taken Girls - not much to say about this. if a girl isn't single, don't you dare try and ditch her, or give up. Just be her friend. Don't try and break them up, either. Just wait. They will either break up eventually, or she will put in a good word for you with all of her friends, and lead you to them. or Them to you, if you're good <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
In the end, really it's all about how comfortable and at home you are around women. Treat them with guys, but guys with different tastes to yours... [BOOOOOBBBIIIEESSSS!]. It's really not a big deal, hanging out with women [dating]. Whatever your intentions, you should do it the same, but take it a few steps ffurther, and add some other factors into it... im talking about scoring btw. Which i assume is what you want to do, seeing as you already have female friends.
Refer to the other thread + my posts for more advice.
Oh.. by the way, feel free to hit me up for a date, granted you probably have to fly around 700 + miles, but thats fine by me. :-)
Oh, you. *blushes*
<!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Just go out there and get started man. Without ambition, man is nothing. Without action, man is a to-do list.
Thanks for the offer, but I don't think it'd work out, seeming as you are several years older than I am (your profile says 1982)... <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> (I'm a month from being 17)
where do you live? america?
Asking how you're supposed to get a woman to date you is entirely useless, because they're all too different to give you one plain tip. The best thing you can do is just be yourself, however clichéd that may be. Even on a date. Don't dress up really fancy and act different than you are normally, that's just being rude to the girl. Look nice, but wear something casual. Keep your usual attitude and have fun.
In closing, just remember: Women are just like men, as in... They're all different people. Be casual around her, don't try to impress her. Ask her if she wants to go somewhere with you as if you were asking a friend. If she won't date you without you going through some elaborate scheme to ask her out somewhere really fancy, she's not worth dating and you should just stay friends.