N-gauge.... Ahhahahhha
uranium_235
Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9478Banned
Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9478Banned
in Off-Topic
Just saw another commercial for these stupid things, this time advertsing:
Red Faction - It looks like Doom graphically mixed with Wolfenstein 3D level design. Most horrendous bastardization of a game I've ever seen.
Wait, it's not.
Because the other game advertised was... the last thing you'd expect.
Splinter Cell.
Yes, that's right, the 3D brain-wrenching epic with the best graphical innovations of its time has been shrunk down to 300x300 resolution and 256 colors, squashed into side-scroller action, and looks like X-Men for Sega (damn what was that handheld unit called? The thing that ate 8 batteries in 20 minutes?).
My god what has the world come to?
Red Faction - It looks like Doom graphically mixed with Wolfenstein 3D level design. Most horrendous bastardization of a game I've ever seen.
Wait, it's not.
Because the other game advertised was... the last thing you'd expect.
Splinter Cell.
Yes, that's right, the 3D brain-wrenching epic with the best graphical innovations of its time has been shrunk down to 300x300 resolution and 256 colors, squashed into side-scroller action, and looks like X-Men for Sega (damn what was that handheld unit called? The thing that ate 8 batteries in 20 minutes?).
My god what has the world come to?
Comments
and no wonder no one's buying the thing =P
compare: <a href='http://cgi.gamefaqs.com/poll/index.asp?poll=1458' target='_blank'>n-gage</a> to <a href='http://cgi.gamefaqs.com/poll/index.asp?poll=1455' target='_blank'>gba</a> ownership...
<span style='font-size:7.2pt;line-height:100%'>(If you're confused, click <a href='http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-08-22' target='_blank'>here</a>)</span>
Then there was the marketing. If I'm not mistaken they originally unveiled the price of the N-gage by painting it on some bikini wearing models belly and brining her out with some flashing lights. They make the game industry look like a bunch of pervs who will buy anything as long as there are breasts involved. Then of course their little comment on the GBA, saying it was for kids and how no normal person would want to be caught in public with one. This alienated a vast majority of gamers. Lets buy something from a company who downright insulted us! Not.
The games as you said, are plain out crap. I am more than happy with my GBA graphics thank you very much. They maybe 2D, but they sure as hell make 2D look good. There is no point in releasing a system for a certain type of graphics if it doesn't look good doing those graphics. The Saturn was a good example of this, Sega built it to be the ultimate 2D system, but at the last minute slapped on 3D because Sony was doing it.
The features are also horrid. Who wants a poorly designed phone with built in poorly designed game system and an MP3 player. Well, lets see.. I hate phones, and even if I got one I would get one that was comfortable to use, not one that feels like I'm talking to a plastic taco. I like games, but not bad games, so no. An MP3 player? Well, you know.. I could just save money and buy a normal one thats about half the size and like a third of the over all **** rating.
All and all the Ngage just doesn't work. A cellphone company shouldn't try selling a game system. I mean, so what if Microsoft did it. They also already make their own games, have the money to buy studios that make good games (Bungie) and the money to fund people who could actually build an overall solid console (and have it deflect bullets too)
<span style='font-size:7.2pt;line-height:100%'>(If you're confused, click <a href='http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-08-22' target='_blank'>here</a>)</span> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I still don't get it. Explain, please.
<span style='font-size:7.2pt;line-height:100%'>(If you're confused, click <a href='http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-08-22' target='_blank'>here</a>)</span> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I still don't get it. Explain, please. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Tycho is frying one of those NGage Special Forces idiots. He does the things we are all thinking... Anybody who seriously tries to talk you into buying an Ngage is either
A.) A complete and utter idiot.
B.) Having their life threatened.
Now for your bedtime story.
A few months ago at this LAN we had a NGage Special Forces idiot coming around interrupting our games telling us to play the NGage because it is "Da dopest thing dis side of da west side" (I kid you f***ing not he said that)
God I could have stabbed that idiot. He frickin made me die while I was playing DoD by shaking my shoulders (And thus moving my mouse around)
I took the Ngage, which was connected around his neck via a bit of rope, literally dragged his arse over to the admin table by the Ngage and told them he needs to be ejected from the Event. They were more than happy to oblige (Because they had gotten quite a few complaints already)
The crowd cheered as I did this.
The End.
I love happy endings.
Yeah I may have over-reacted but I was in the middle of a casual clan match... I cannot STAND idiots.
You sir, are my hero, I will tell of your exploits so that the world will always know your bravery and legend!
Not only do you bust Outwar **** but you also kiled an N-Gage Special Forces fella (whatever those are)
Kudos to you Infi!!
As for my thoughts on the N-Gage....read ANeM's post, except throw in a few swear words, and you'll be hearing what I would say <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
BTW: Special Forces? Eh? I tried looking it up but didn't find anything relevant, just someone bragging about it... what do they get paid to advertise that crap?
url url url!
Plant. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
On a side note: PA isn't loading for me now. Weird.
Plant. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
On a side note: PA isn't loading for me now. Weird. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Haha, I'd be one heck of a plant. I've been here since before NS was released <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
I'm sure Microsoft has a few people "embedded" in forums just in case they ever release a handheld.
They did a DAMN AWEFUL job!
They should all be shot!
well as long as you made any money out of it, I'd have done the same <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif'><!--endemo-->
Only thing I wouldn't do is doing AOL commercials ("I think AOL is great.. It's fast, simple, and has great customer support. It also has an integrated browser which allows me to watch streaming movies") because that's plain lying
^corp plant
<a href='http://www.penny-arcade.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=37126&highlight=nokia' target='_blank'>http://www.penny-arcade.com/forums/viewtop...highlight=nokia</a>
^thread about corp plant
DEATH TO N-GAGE!!
The commercial for it looked painful. I mean pretty much all they showed was Fisher waddling along in some Mario like enviorment, walking up behind people (actually, running up behind people, screw stealth), and literally slapping them in the back of the head. It looked like he was clubbing them with an N-Gage, I swear.
I grabbed it and held it up and proclaimed 'My fellow pupils, this is a N-Gage, not only does it look like a tco but it plays like one.' My friend jeremy held up a GBA and said 'Thisis a GB, the design looks better then a plastic taco and the games are actually fun! and they dont look like Commodore 64 graphics!' then we walked away (oh I also sorta uh flicked off the guy)
But I must admit, I did purchase Splinter Cell for the GBA SP. Yes. Definitely not good, but a few parts were somewhat fun. What really got me mad is that close to half the game required a link to a Gamecube to work.
<span style='font-size:7.2pt;line-height:100%'>(If you're confused, click <a href='http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2003-08-22' target='_blank'>here</a>)</span> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I still don't get it. Explain, please. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
As with most stuff on PA, it only really makes sense if you read the news item for the day.
makes sense to me
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Red Faction - It looks like Doom graphically mixed with Wolfenstein 3D level design. Most horrendous bastardization of a game I've ever seen.
Wait, it's not.
Because the other game advertised was... the last thing you'd expect.
Splinter Cell.
Yes, that's right, the 3D brain-wrenching epic with the best graphical innovations of its time has been shrunk down to 300x300 resolution and 256 colors, squashed into side-scroller action, and looks like X-Men for Sega (damn what was that handheld unit called? The thing that ate 8 batteries in 20 minutes?).
My god what has the world come to? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Congrats, you just advertised for them for free. Ya tool <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo-->
btw. nubcaeks the games arent javagames with commodore graphics... red faction does suck but thps & tomb raider are playstation quality... so plz dont talk **** poor nubs <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo-->