Curse Be Thy Name Alcohol
Smoke_Nova
Join Date: 2002-11-15 Member: 8697Members
Join Date: 2002-11-15 Member: 8697Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Oh how I loath that thing</div> (sorry to write a Rant thread right now, I just need to get my anger out)
So, it's 3:00am, I'm 150-200 miles away from my girlfriend because we go to different colleges. I just finish telling my friend Robb that I'm not going to bed until she checks in. Sure, that might sound clingy but she had just gone to a "Drag race", where guys dressed up as girls and girls as guys/ butch girls. The thing about the Drag Race is that it was off campus, so campus security couldn't police it for drunks/alcohol. That alone worries me, but what's more so is that i am absolutely PARANOID about alcohol. completely and utterly. I don't allow myself more then a single shot's worth of the strong stuff. My father was an alcoholic and he has completely ruined my life. Because of him I will never EVER marry someone who has to have even a shot to relax. NEVER. So, my girlfriend got home from the party @ 3:10 and she logs onto AIM. She was predicting to be home around 1ish, so i'm scared sh**less. I fear the worst, that she did drugs and drank at this party. So I say hi, ask how it went, asked if there were drugs there.
she says no drugs, no alcohol, though a lot of drunks. So I steel myself...ask her to be honest and ask her if she had ANYTHING to drink. From the fact that i am posting this rant here, my teeth hurt from being ground so much and i'm shaking with anger, you can guess the answer. She told me that she had two shots, in a "loose" friend's room, before the party. the second she tells me this...my muscles are quivering with rage right now, so much rage that I can't type straight. My fingers will be on a key and then it will jump because of a muscle twitch.
This is the girlfriend that just yesterday I told her I want to spend the rest of my life with her but now....right now i'm not sure I can even bring myself to speak to her. I don't think she realizes exactly how much her drinking alcohol before going to parties just PISSES ME OFF! I know it's two shots and it doesn't mean much but...when you have two shots before you go to a big party, and those shots might impair your judgement! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think i'll have to go find a stick about 90cm and practice my swordfighting techniques!
Thank you for listening to my rant. Now does anyone have any suggestions as to how I could get to be less...sensitive when she drinks/does the occasional drug?
I KNOW IT WAS YOUR FRIEND, BUT WHY DO YOU NEED TO DRINK TO LOOSEN UP?!? ARGH!
[edit] Sorry to any of you who drink socially, I have no issue with social drinking as usually it is to enhance food or just to blend in. and sorry to Burr if this offends you, I have no issue with alcoholics in general, just when the girl I love drinks I get very...blind rage.
So, it's 3:00am, I'm 150-200 miles away from my girlfriend because we go to different colleges. I just finish telling my friend Robb that I'm not going to bed until she checks in. Sure, that might sound clingy but she had just gone to a "Drag race", where guys dressed up as girls and girls as guys/ butch girls. The thing about the Drag Race is that it was off campus, so campus security couldn't police it for drunks/alcohol. That alone worries me, but what's more so is that i am absolutely PARANOID about alcohol. completely and utterly. I don't allow myself more then a single shot's worth of the strong stuff. My father was an alcoholic and he has completely ruined my life. Because of him I will never EVER marry someone who has to have even a shot to relax. NEVER. So, my girlfriend got home from the party @ 3:10 and she logs onto AIM. She was predicting to be home around 1ish, so i'm scared sh**less. I fear the worst, that she did drugs and drank at this party. So I say hi, ask how it went, asked if there were drugs there.
she says no drugs, no alcohol, though a lot of drunks. So I steel myself...ask her to be honest and ask her if she had ANYTHING to drink. From the fact that i am posting this rant here, my teeth hurt from being ground so much and i'm shaking with anger, you can guess the answer. She told me that she had two shots, in a "loose" friend's room, before the party. the second she tells me this...my muscles are quivering with rage right now, so much rage that I can't type straight. My fingers will be on a key and then it will jump because of a muscle twitch.
This is the girlfriend that just yesterday I told her I want to spend the rest of my life with her but now....right now i'm not sure I can even bring myself to speak to her. I don't think she realizes exactly how much her drinking alcohol before going to parties just PISSES ME OFF! I know it's two shots and it doesn't mean much but...when you have two shots before you go to a big party, and those shots might impair your judgement! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think i'll have to go find a stick about 90cm and practice my swordfighting techniques!
Thank you for listening to my rant. Now does anyone have any suggestions as to how I could get to be less...sensitive when she drinks/does the occasional drug?
I KNOW IT WAS YOUR FRIEND, BUT WHY DO YOU NEED TO DRINK TO LOOSEN UP?!? ARGH!
[edit] Sorry to any of you who drink socially, I have no issue with social drinking as usually it is to enhance food or just to blend in. and sorry to Burr if this offends you, I have no issue with alcoholics in general, just when the girl I love drinks I get very...blind rage.
Comments
Lifting weights now to burn out the rage
[edit]
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....that feels so much better. 80 10lbs lifts on my right arm, 50 10lbs lifts with my left arm. *note to self: bring your boken (Wooden Katana) to school next time you go home)
you need to get a more relaxed relationship to alcohol, as i said you sound pretty paranoid about it. This may ruin your life too but in another way than your father did to himself. Im not saying you should begin drinking, just that you shouldn't be so paranoid anout it, it's okay to fear it - but it shouldn't cut you away from other people(mainly your girlfriend)
Here in Denmark alcohol is very very commen - (almost) everyone drinks, and im sad to say that we drink alot.
Personally i don't like alcohol either, simply because you can have a good time without it - and i don't really feel like...as you say mess with my thinking. I may sound as a boring chap, but if I'm in the right company im wacky as hell <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
Well, it's 4:17, been talking with Liku on aim, and Riley on aim, much calmer now. The spirit of rage has shrunken back but that time it came far too close to the surface. Not even Invocations of the Wolf Spirit could cool the burning rage. (long story to explain both).
Sorry for making a Rant thread, i just needed to get out some of my anger.
I am anti-alcohol when it comes to close friends. After my friends drink, I won't talk to them for a day or two, at least. At least my friend Patry admits his fault and always says, "I hope I didn't disappoint you.". Riley hasn't, so far.
That level of alcoholic consumption doesn't sound like it's that much of a problem.
If you love the girl you gotta learn to trust her to make her own decesions.
Relationships work both ways guys, Nova seriously needs to lighten up, but if she doesnt love him enough to respect his issue, then maybe its a serious rethink time.
SmokeNova, don't take this the wrong way, because I do like you, but man that's really screwed up. I understand you have some issues with alcoholism, and you should. But 2 shots at a party (not an every day occassion) != alcoholic.
You keep talking of your life being completely ruined... Well, if you're at college, that means you've got quite a few years behind you. More importantly, you have a number of years in front of you. Make sure you don't ruin those yourself.
I don't really have a sophisticated way to say what I'm thinking, as I can't just get the words out. All I can think of is:
* DOOManiac rolls up a newspaper
* DOOManiac smacks SmokeNova with newspaper
Stop it. Just stop it. You're gonna go off the deep end and she's going to break up with you. And if you keep acting like this (bullying her and your friends, acting like a complete **** every time one doesn't give into your wishes) that's exactly what she's going to do...
SmokeNova, don't take this the wrong way, because I do like you, but man that's really screwed up. I understand you have some issues with alcoholism, and you should. But 2 shots at a party (not an every day occassion) != alcoholic.
You keep talking of your life being completely ruined... Well, if you're at college, that means you've got quite a few years behind you. More importantly, you have a number of years in front of you. Make sure you don't ruin those yourself.
I don't really have a sophisticated way to say what I'm thinking, as I can't just get the words out. All I can think of is:
* DOOManiac rolls up a newspaper
* DOOManiac smacks SmokeNova with newspaper
Stop it. Just stop it. You're gonna go off the deep end and she's going to break up with you. And if you keep acting like this (bullying her and your friends, acting like a complete **** every time one doesn't give into your wishes) that's exactly what she's going to do... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I agree - but I can see it from both sides. She really shouldnt be doing that sorta thing if she knows it upsets him.
She shouldnt bend over, but if she doesnt like it/thinks its a problem, she should talk to him - not go out and have a few shots ffs. That shows her complete disregard for how he is feeling - whether his feelings be stupid or not, thats not kind, and thats not intelligent.
Relationships work two ways - nova is being overreactive, but she is not handling it the way she should.
Despite what is said below this post - blame goes to where blame is due. And blame is due on both sides of this arguement, both to Nova for being paranoid, and to his girlfriend for being insensitive.
I was going to suggest that you simply get drunk yourself.
but on thinking more, that might not be the way to go.
While I am clearly not as troubled as yourself on the issue, I used to hate people who drank (when I was about 13-16). It was to do with the 'change' it brought on in personality (even though its temporary, it still worried me at the time).
I think also that you cant have a 'well informed' knowledge of alcohol without first hand experience.
If you choose to be tea-total, this is of course totally cool (alcohol is a terrible drug anyway), and possibly even for the best (i think alcoholism is somewhat genetic?). But as others have said, its unreasonable to enforce these beliefes onto others.
put bluntly, I dont think your Girlfriend will take this attitude for long.
social drinking in my opinion is compleatly pointless. If I drink (which I do rarely) I drink to get drunk.
If i didnt want to get drunk, I would drink somthing without alcohol in it.
being drunk is not inherantly bad.
needing to be drunk is.
put bluntly, I dont think your Girlfriend will take this attitude for long."
only two reasonable things melatonin said in that entire post. disregard the rest.
I found this to be a bit ironic. If social drinking is an issue for you, while you're in college (the most condensed collection of party time you'll have in your life), maybe you'd want to mention just how significant you consider this behavior to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I'm not being critical here at all--this just screams "Important Relationship Stuff". Ya know?
Any drug (yes, alcohol is a DRUG, thou DARE kiddies) can be abused. It shows far more maturity in knowing when and how to partake safely, than simply restricting oneself to complete avoidance.
The stove may be hot, but I need to cook something to eat. So long as I don't stick my hand in the fire, I should be good to go.
Alcohol may be enjoyable, but I need to stay within my limits lest I say or do things I will regret later. Alternately, I will place myself in a safe environment before exceeding my limits, if it becomes neccessary. That is the difference between a mature approach, and that taken by one simply conforming to the warnings of others. One requires THOUGHT and TRUST. The other only requires obedience.
Personally, I'd rather base any relationship I had on thought and trust, than obedience. If I want the latter, I'll get a dog.
I'm both very fiery and very flirty as it is, I'd hate to see the potential for what could happen when I'm drunk ^^;
Generally the rule I have is people can do what they want without falling out with me when it comes to drink/drugs/whatever but what a lot of them don't realise is how much I resent it when they go overboard and I have to look after them. In life I prefer equals, I don't like playing mother because someone took too much of a bad thing, though I usually end up doing it because I could never leave a friend in need -.-
My mum was like a major flower child when she was young so I've grown up well informed of what drugs are like and reasonably tollerant of what other people get up to as long as it doesn't effect me. I don't go around telling people what they're doing is wrong, but if they try and bring it up they can expect a nice long list of why I'm not touching their stuff with a barge pole <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Most people just tell me I'm a clever person not to get involved in it as they take another toke/swig of the substance in question <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
If you loved her, you'd stick with her even if she drank alcohol.
If she loved you, she'd not drink alcohol to stay with you.
Don't expect her to bend over backwards for you, because it sounds like you're not going to do it for her.
If you loved her, you'd stick with her even if she drank alcohol.
If she loved you, she'd not drink alcohol to stay with you.
Don't expect her to bend over backwards for you, because it sounds like you're not going to do it for her. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
No no, Nova has admitted he has a problem, but he is still unhappy with what his g/f has done. You summed it up pretty well - if he loves her he'll stay with her despite what she did. If she loves him, she will try and refrain from doing so again - end of story.
Nova tries to light up, and she tries to be more sensitive about his admittedly strange paranoia. Frankly if the deciding factor in whether you relationship continues rides on 2 shots of alcohol then you have issues <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
When we were in Montreal in...April (IIRC) We ate in a Chinese resturant, she had a Heineken and I was fine with it. I was there, so I could be there if something bad happened.
or maybe it's just jealousy that she's able to actually go outside and make friends.
urgh! and now last night she said she'd be online right now and she's not and now i'm even more depressed. oh yeah, when I woke up I was depressed because...I felt so ashamed of how I reacted last night.
I know two shots won't do jack, but it's also that i've seen my other friends drink very little, their perceptions get a little messed up and then...it ends up being a gateway drug. Though, I do think she knows that if she actually ever turns into an alcoholic, I will try to clean her up but if she refuses I will just end up leaving.
It's just it bothers me deep down because alcohol is very much a gateway drug, as Marijuana is too, and i'm afraid she'll like the "high" too much that she'll keep on wanting to get it. and even though I want to spend the rest of my life with her...if she turns alcoholic i'd first try to clean her up and if that fails, commit seppukku.
I know i may seem uptight about these things...but if you had seen some of the things I have while my friends are drunk...you'd hate the stuff too. My best friend nearly died of alcohol poisoning, and he wasn't even trying to hurt himself. It started off with just a few drinks...later that night, the person who provided the alcohol dropped him and two of my other friends off. His skin was bleach white, everywhere, and he ended up throwing up probably about 20-30 times, mostly dry heaves.
[edit] and it's also I know Riley's...constitution is not exactly the strongest for resisting impulses. that's why i'm so worried. [/edit]
I started out smoking pot. Then started doing magic mushrooms. What you'd move on to from pot entirely depends on howw you feel when you smoke it and why you're smoking it. From there I moved on to acid, but only did it a couple times. When I was old enough to get liquor regularily (it hasn't been that long) I started getting drunk every other day with my friends. Extacy once. Coke a couple times.
Now you're seeing the chain right? But just because I did other things doesn't mean I'm some horrible person. I'm not homeless either...what gives? I'm not an **** to everyone I know. I think I'm actually quite nice to people. You just need moderate self control and that's all. Keep yourself in check. Don't do more than you can handle. Don't do anything dumb afterwards. Respecting these substances is something more people should practice.
And most of these things I did for the first time because the opportunity was there. If she's not doing them as some sort of escapism I don't see anything wrong with it. She didn't drink because she was depressed and figured it would help her out. Just a little experimentation/consiousness expansion, which is completely healthy. I wouldn't worry too much about her. What kind of crowd does she run with? Is she cool? Not in the sense of popularity but in the sense of fun/responsible?
Bah sorry most of this turned out to be about me but I think I had to explain that to get my point across.
Btw, Trivial Pursuit was invented by 3 unemployed drunk Canadians.
and a rather weak-willed constitution. If she was a D&D Char, it would be about 4-5.
I'm sure she's pretty responsible, she'll know went to stop. The line between lowering your inhibitions and getting totally wrecked (or 'mortal' as it's known here <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->) is <i>nowhere</i> near as fine as you make out.
2 shots or a can of Heineken isn't going to kill her, make her tipsy or do anything hurtful like the awful alcoholism of your father (sorry to hear about that).
Hope you can sort this out, good luck lad.
The thing is, if she was a seasoned drinker, i would be a little more distant but not nearly so insecure. She would know her limits. As it is, she doesn't really, because this is the first time she's ever really been given a chance to drink freely. and i'm just worried about her, because i'm afraid she won't know when to stop. as I keep on saying, she has a very poor constitution when it comes to impulses. Now that I thought about it, her D&D constitution would be like 1d5.
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and I think she only had stuff to eat/drink AFTER she had already taken the two shots, but i don't know if she did have anything to eat/drink at all besides the two shots. and two shots won't impair you much, but that's assuming the person has a strong constitution. She doesn't
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