Funny War Stories.

2»

Comments

  • kidakida Join Date: 2003-02-20 Member: 13778Members
    edited July 2003
    I don't really talk to my grandfather about war, he was in the korean war and vietnam war. All I know is his leg is all purply and scarry and messy, because of a grenade that went off near his leg. In vietnam he worked on fixing bridges, since he was an engineer. One of my friends dad served in the vietnam war. My friend told me that his dad went beserk after his friends got killed at some battle, and shot many of a charlie with his shotgun.
  • tbZBeAsttbZBeAst Join Date: 2003-01-26 Member: 12755Members
    All of my family is notoriously hard to kill. All my grandparents are still kicking about in their mid 80s, and I've still got some great grandparents.

    My paternal grandfather was a red cross medic in WW2, which meant he was unarmed. He did Greece and Africa IIRC.

    1.) The Greeks seemed to be unable to distinguish between uniforms. he says that they'd regularly get Greek women hiding grenades in prams, and lobbing them as they went by. Nice.
    Notice the biiiiig red cross on the van?

    2.) He recounts one particular story where it was the middle of a pitched battle, and a German officer being wounded in the middle of no-man's land. The stretcher team (him and another poor SOB) ran over to this officer. (IIRC the firing stopped to let them pick the guy up). The officer, seeing people running at him from the wrong side of the lines, pulls out his pistol, and clears his mind. I don't know if he didn't fancy being a POW, or just didn't spot they were medics, but Grandad, and the other guy are now standing next to a big chunk of hamburger, and the firing starts again.
    The stretcher team broke the land speed record at this point.

    Another relative is in a piccie in the British museum, as a warden, pulling people out of a bomb site.
  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    i thought: "eh, i should go ask my grandparents if they fought in any wars, and if so, what happened"

    but then i recalled, they are both dead <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo--> heh...

    beast and others, cmon, dont just give us the funny parts.. i want to hear how it resolved. did they end up 'rescuing' the wounded german soldier? how serious was the greek women trying to kill them with the grenadeS? etc etc
  • AegeriAegeri Join Date: 2003-02-13 Member: 13486Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--eediot+Jul 23 2003, 04:27 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (eediot @ Jul 23 2003, 04:27 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> i thought: "eh, i should go ask my grandparents if they fought in any wars, and if so, what happened"

    but then i recalled, they are both dead <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo--> heh...

    beast and others, cmon, dont just give us the funny parts.. i want to hear how it resolved. did they end up 'rescuing' the wounded german soldier? how serious was the greek women trying to kill them with the grenadeS? etc etc <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    The German shot himself "<i>and clears his mind</i>" which I imagine he's used as an alternative way of saying he blew off his head.
  • tbZBeAsttbZBeAst Join Date: 2003-01-26 Member: 12755Members
    erm...yes. The "chunk of hamburger" also alluded to it <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->

    As for the Greek women, I have no idea. He's still knocking about today, so I guess he survived <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    omg, oh... lol. okay <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> haha

    and i mean, did anybody else die?
  • eedioteediot Join Date: 2003-02-24 Member: 13903Members
    edited July 2003
    oh and sorry to be off-topic, but what does "IIRC" stand for

    edit: nvm, got it

    "If I Recall Correctly"
  • UZiUZi Eight inches of C4 between the legs. Join Date: 2003-02-20 Member: 13767Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--Aegeri+Jul 22 2003, 09:24 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Aegeri @ Jul 22 2003, 09:24 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--Confuzor+Jul 22 2003, 12:38 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Confuzor @ Jul 22 2003, 12:38 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> My friend is into WWII a lot, and I think he admires Rommel a lot. "One of the last knights of warfare" is the title I think given to him by A&E. The SAS made an attempt to assasinate him, and even though they lost, I was told that Rommel respected them enough to give them a burial. I think Patton really wanted to have a fight against Rommel as well.

    Besides, Rommel was in on one of the attempts to have Hitler assasinated. It failed and he suicided after that, but my respect for him went way up after hearing that. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I'm another fan of Rommel (if you can call it that). However, he wasn't a part of the assasination plot against Hitler. Hitler had other ideas however, and sent Rommel a letter telling him to commit suicide or they would kill his wife and kids. They then buried him with full military honors and paid his family. It is a real shame that happened because he was one of the best tacticians to have ever lived. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    The **** do you figure?

    He lost Normandy and The Africa campaign. he sucked...most overated tactician EVER!
  • PerfectionsFlawPerfectionsFlaw Join Date: 2003-02-14 Member: 13555Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--Jay123+Jul 21 2003, 07:28 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jay123 @ Jul 21 2003, 07:28 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Hmm. Why were they given condoms? lol. Sounds like fun though <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    They figured their men would seek a woman's company during the course of their tour. So naturally they gave them free condoms because they didn't want their men to get the clap whilst lying belly-down in a poorly dug foxhole.


    Those were some good stories, Greyfox, don't have anymore I take it?
  • AegeriAegeri Join Date: 2003-02-13 Member: 13486Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--TheInfragableKrunk+Jul 23 2003, 06:08 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (TheInfragableKrunk @ Jul 23 2003, 06:08 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--Aegeri+Jul 22 2003, 09:24 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Aegeri @ Jul 22 2003, 09:24 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--Confuzor+Jul 22 2003, 12:38 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Confuzor @ Jul 22 2003, 12:38 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> My friend is into WWII a lot, and I think he admires Rommel a lot. "One of the last knights of warfare" is the title I think given to him by A&E. The SAS made an attempt to assasinate him, and even though they lost, I was told that Rommel respected them enough to give them a burial. I think Patton really wanted to have a fight against Rommel as well.

    Besides, Rommel was in on one of the attempts to have Hitler assasinated. It failed and he suicided after that, but my respect for him went way up after hearing that. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I'm another fan of Rommel (if you can call it that). However, he wasn't a part of the assasination plot against Hitler. Hitler had other ideas however, and sent Rommel a letter telling him to commit suicide or they would kill his wife and kids. They then buried him with full military honors and paid his family. It is a real shame that happened because he was one of the best tacticians to have ever lived. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    The **** do you figure?

    He lost Normandy and The Africa campaign. he sucked...most overated tactician EVER! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Ok, do you know anything about what you are talking about?

    Firstly, Rommel managed to accomplish significant military victories with hardly any units. He had 5 Infantry Divisons and only 2-3 armoured panzer divisons and was immensely under supplied. He made massive gains against an enemy that had far more resources than he ever did (Montgomery). For months he tied up an enemy that had superior forces with few of his own.

    He was also responsible for one of the biggest defeats the American forces have EVER had in combat in west Africa.

    In Normandy he wasn't given control of the southern panzer divisions and was one of few German generals to realise where the allies were attacking.

    So, it is better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and directly confirm it.
  • MedHeadMedHead Join Date: 2002-12-19 Member: 11115Members, Constellation
    edited July 2003
    My grandfather has many stories. We were able to get him to record his stories, so we could burn them to a CD. Now we have all his memories.

    He was a tank commander for the 7th Armored Division, Patton's 3rd Army. I can't remember the entire name for his platoon.

    One day my grandfather (Franklin "Heppy" Hepworth) was able to make it up to a tall building, I believe it was a lighthouse. As a tank commander, he had the ability to call out commands to fire over radio. Well, while he was up in the tower, he saw some Germans sunbathing in the nude in a field. My grandfather has a comedic streak, so he decided to scare the Germans a bit. He waited until they were relaxed, and then called for his tanks to fire (over the radio). Now, the tanks weren't actually anywhere near enough to cause any damage to the Germans. But the noise was enough to send the Germans scattering. My grandfather waited for them to return, relax, and forget about the tank... and that was when he called for another round fired. The Germans scattered again. I don't know how long he did this, but he had fun.

    --Okay. The rest of the stuff below isn't funny. I just really really wanted to post it.--

    He was a school teacher who joined the Army so that the draft wouldn't take him, and keep him in longer. He was newly married, and his wife was pregnant (after the marriage vows). He was there to fight the war, and hated having to order anyone to kill. He says he personally never killed anyone (though his men did), and his platoon had very few casualties under his command. He was returned home with a purple heart after receiving a shot to the eye from a stray bullet.

    I think God kept him from killing anyone so that he wouldn't be overcome with grief. As the story below will show, he was ashamed one of his men had to kill a German, even though it was a war.

    For instance, once, when my grandfather was out on patrol with a security guard at night, he was stopped by a man in the shadows, who spoke French. He claimed to be an ally. Just when he said that, a flare went off in the sky, and the light glinted off the German crest on the soldier's helmet. My grandfather reached for his gun, but it jammed. The security guard had to stab the man with a knife. That was the closest that he came to actually having to kill someone - and I think God prevented the gun from firing so that he wouldn't. The story is in the letter below, but I think he omitted some pieces so that his parents wouldn't be too alarmed.

    Below is a letter from my grandfather to his parents. It was sent to a local newspaper to show the courage of the men at war.

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->    I came back here to the rear guard this morning. I sprang my
    foot and so have to stay off it for some time. They would have sent
    me to the hospital but I was afraid that in case I'd be sent to a new
    outfit instead of my own and so asked to come here and be carried
    along just so I won't have to be on my feet.
       You see, what actually happened is that I had an argument
    with an 88 up here in the front... but three more takes his side
    before I could get any on my side. Well, my tank sits by the side of
    the road but so do four 88's. Two of my men went to the hospital
    and 50 of their men went to (hell, I'm afraid), at least they'll
    never be able to argue with an American soldier again. I figure
    that that's a pretty good ratio - two of ours wounded to 50 of theirs
    killed. Only I hate it for my men.
        I was leading in the point vehicle when this 88 appeared. I
    started at him and was stopped by one in front of me. I started
    bailing out. A captain on top jumped off the rear. By the time
    I was in the ditch, three shells had hit my tank. I looked up to see
    if my men had gotten out and saw one tumbling from the tank.
    He rolled in the ditch. I noticed that one never came out and
    the tank was ablaze.
        Then I heard a scream for help from inside. Machine gun bullets
    whittled off the tank and flames shot from the turret. I yelled
    back "I can't do a thing." Another yell came: "Someone's got to
    help me." I turned to the captain and said "Captain, I can't do a
    thing" and he said "I know you can't, Heppy."
        Then I saw a hand wave above the tank and I yelled , "Oh my
    God, give me strength. Stay those shells. Oh my God, my God,
    help! Give me time, give me courage."
        As I yelled this, I climbed the tank, reached down, pulled out
    my leader - minus both his legs. He was still conscious. When I
    saw the condition he was in, I said, "Oh my God, he'll bleed to
    death." My leader said "We've got to get down from here." I called
    back, "I know it. Oh, my God, help. I can't, he'll bleed to death
    (Many afterward said they heard me cursing, but I told them
    they may have heard me praying and I wasn't ashamed of it
    either)." I jumped from the tank and lay him in the ditch,
    thinking, "He'll bleed to death before we can help. But thank
    God he won't burn to death."
        I dashed up to see how the other man was that had tumbled off
    the tank and rolled into the ditch. I thought that I could at
    least save him. I found his wounds fairly slight and yelled to the
    captain if we could  get my loader to help. His answer was "Sure
    can." He ran his jeep up. Several men loaded him into the jeep
    and the captain drove like mad to the rear about a mile where
    our doctor was. There two medical men put tourniquets on while
    the doctor gave him a unit of blood plasma.
        All this was done in 10 minutes from the time the shell hit our
    tank. The report came back, "He is doing fine. He has never lost
    conciousness and is talking and looking well." Oh how I thanked
    God for His strong arm, His power to stay the bullets from me, and
    His power to hold the man from bleeding to death before help could
    be gotten. I also thank Him fro the givers of blood plasma that it
    could be thre so quickly after needed...
        My first encounter with a German is one that I'll never forget.
    I was scared to death. I was on guard with several of my men.
    The men were nearly dead for sleep and so to encourageand keep
    them awake, I never lay down all night. Early in the morning,
    I heard a yell for me and so rushed to where the guard that yelled
    was. He said that a man claimed to be a Frenchman and wanted
    to pass. It was pitch dark so I could scarcely see.
        The man stepped up and asked if I was an American soldat...
    I spoke a minute with im and noticed him getting closer. When
    he go about two feet from me, I noticed his German eagle on his
    hat. Boy, did I act quick! And his hand came off his pistol into
    the air. I told him to order the rest of his men to come forward with
    hands up. He said they were Russians fighting for him and
    wouldn't mind him.
        I gave him the order to call them forward. Instead, he told them
    that we were British and to run. Well, they ran, what didn't
    crawl, or stay there. But oh, I hated it. They were Russians
    fighting for Germans and had forced him to surrender because
    we were Americans and he told them we were British. They're
    afraid of the British.
        Oh Mom, why does this have to go on? Why can't people live
    and let live? I searched the first 'good German' I was to blame for
    and the first thing I saw was a beautiful picture of a very sweet
    little woman and a little boy about Henry's size. I had made
    that little fellow fatherless. I looked up and cried, "Oh God, don't
    hold me to blame for this." At once the answer came back, "It
    was either the little fellow or a little redheaded toddler in the
    States." Well, thank God, by His help, it won't be the little
    redhead back home.
        The French people treat us as if we were angels from Heaven.
    My, when you see the awfulness the Germans have inflicted on
    them there is no wonder. Everybody from the baby on up want to
    kiss the American soldier - men, women, and children all alike.
    We pass through a town and mothers feel that if we look at their
    children all will be all right. They cover the highways with
    flowers, apples, pears, plums, and anything they think we'll
    like. Old grandma sits in her wheelchair in the yard throwing
    kisses at us. Old men toddle out and clasp us in their arms and cry.
    One town I went through, a little girl came running out and,
    jumping into my arms and laughing and crying together,
    just showered my black face with kisses. Her face was black when
    she got through.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Sorry for the long post. I am extremely proud of my grandfather, and have the utmost respect for him. I only hope to become as good of a man as he someday. I have a tendency to talk too much about him when asked.
  • AegeriAegeri Join Date: 2003-02-13 Member: 13486Members
    ^^ So you should, he sounds like a very interesting man.

    My Grandfather was in the navy, I wasn't overly close to him so never got to ask much about what he saw. About all I remember was he was severely wounded once by shrapnel in an engagement with a German destroyer.
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
    Very interesting. My best friend's 2 grandfathers were both in WW2 as well only on the German side <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo--> .

    They wernt nazies or anything as many people misunderstand.

    One was an officer in the Luftwaffe (airforce) and the other was an officer in the medical corps. He was a battlefield Surgeon. They both have very interesting stories as well. One of them (the airforce guy fought the Americans, and the Dr. was stationed where they were fighting the Russians.

    My friend's dad was also in the new german Bundeswehr as a weapons training officer.
  • JimJim Join Date: 2002-11-26 Member: 9989Members
    One of my grandads was a Pole who got forced to become a paratrooper for the germans, as soon as he was deployed he gave himself up and spent the rest of the war in America <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

    My other grandad fixed boats near Dover for the start of the war then became a messenger on a motorcycle in Italy later on <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->

    And lastly one of my grandmothers made electronic components for a radar for montgomery, she didn't know at the time though <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • UnknownUnknown Join Date: 1970-01-01 Member:
    Well, my grandfather was in the Philippines during WW2.

    ... because i'm filipino!

    he speaks about the war with an air of melancholy -

    <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The Japanese, they were.. everywhere.. We got a few of them with our yo-yos, but eventually were overrun... it was a tragedy..<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
  • LegionnairedLegionnaired Join Date: 2002-04-30 Member: 552Members, Constellation
    Both of my grandparents were in WWII, both in the navy. My paternal grandfather was an engeneer before the war, so he worked as crew cheif, fixing up PT boats.

    The grandfather on the other side of the family though, was stationed on a carrier (forget which one) and was one of those who would wait on deck when planes would land, and rush into a crash to try and pull the pilot out.

    I don't care who you are, or how much asbsestos you're wearing, TAHT takes some serious rocks.
  • AllUrHiveRblong2usAllUrHiveRblong2us By Your Powers Combined... Join Date: 2002-12-20 Member: 11244Members
    My grandfather on my mom's side(who lost his arm in WW2) has never told me a single war story. The only mention of the war he ever gives is when he yells something at the TV whilst watching the history channel.

    My gradndmother on my father's side, however, will take any opportunity to talk about her experiences during WW2, and frankly I think hers would be more interesting anyway, because she was in germany at the time. Started out as a radar operator when it was an extremely new technology, and at some point she defected to the russian side, and after the war was over defected to the US side. Pretty cool stories to hear.
  • UnknownUnknown Join Date: 1970-01-01 Member:
    man, you ridiculous f*cks... nothing was funny anymore, so i made a stupid joke to lighten the mood

    and i think you actually took it SERIOUSLY..

    come ON, my grandfather never killed people with a yo yo!

    that was a damn good JOKE you ruined!!!!!!
  • XaniethXanieth Join Date: 2002-11-06 Member: 7280Members
    My dad served in Vietnam in the Luc Luong Dac Biet (LLDB), which basically are South Vietnamese Special Forces. I think he was a Master Sergeant. He told me one time they were getting water from a stream when one of his buddies tasted it and said it tasted funny, so they trekked upstream to find a dead VC who had been there for quite a while. Ewww. He would sometimes fight with Americans and he said they were good people and fighters.

    He prayed day and night to his father (who was dead, not from the war) that he would get home alive and not end up like the many bodies in the jungle forgotten. He didn't care if he died the moment he got home, as long as he could get a proper funeral and not rot to nothing in the jungles of Vietnam.

    And god damn, it's really really hot in Vietnam.
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--Jin-Roh+Jul 25 2003, 01:46 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Jin-Roh @ Jul 25 2003, 01:46 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> man, you ridiculous f*cks... nothing was funny anymore, so i made a stupid joke to lighten the mood

    and i think you actually took it SERIOUSLY..

    come ON, my grandfather never killed people with a yo yo!

    that was a damn good JOKE you ruined!!!!!! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I <i>was</i> going to make a comment about yo-yo ninjas, but then you posted this <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • ApeApe Join Date: 2003-06-17 Member: 17448Members, Constellation
    Interesting stories guys, keep em coming!
    I wish I had a few relatives with some war tales to tell, I love hearing that kind of stuff.
Sign In or Register to comment.