Stupid Subnautica Community Story

Gamechanger3849

So I had an idea. Write a subnautica story that really stupid but I thought it be better if the entire community wrote one massive really stupid story and in fact I'll start.(so somebody write the next part). I couldn't think of anything better then this because it's 8:30 AM and I just woke up.


It was a not so dark and not so stormy night the Aurora was floating through space and it was such a beautiful sight space,space and more space

kingkuma

they were passing through the asteroid field surrounding system 4546, and the calls of the migrating starwals echoed through the walkways next to the lifepod deployment mechanics, and finally reached the ears of Riley, the chief maintenance officer aboard the ship.



(This is a great idea. Just in case you don't know, Riley may or may not be the player, as hinted in a pda message.)

Gamechanger3849

as soon as he heard the calls he yells "activate the anti-narwhal thingy!!!!" security officer Jeff tells him "shield activated". Riley was relived everyone but Jeff knew he was afraid of Starwals. He soon left to go to his room it was movie night. Where Riley and all his roommates watched the worst movies ever. Tonights flick.... Birdemic but just as the horribly edited in birds appeared the ship began to shake and

Recursion

he rushed to the bridge and sat down in a chair because he was a bridge crew person. "What's happening?" he cried. "the starwhals and the star whales and star cute little things which don't really have a name are trying to--"

Jamezorg

Crash.

And just like that, a rather agitated Starwal stabbed a tremendous puncture in the hull of the ship. "What the bloody hell's happening? Jeff, you're security officer; what the hell happened with those shields?!"

"I don't know, Riley! The only places you can deactivate the field are here at the bridge or down in the engine room; there are kill switches for every operation on this ship down there!"

Riley shuddered. Either Jeff had sneakily flicked the switch to deactivate the shields behind his back, or there was a traitor fifty floors down in the engine room. But by now half the air and crew had been sucked into space, and the Aurora was plummeting down towards the nearest celestial body it could find. The water planet was so tucked away that the Federation hadn't even assigned it a proper name.

The Aurora was about to crash into 4546B.

phantomfinch

"mate with the ship".
"So basically were fucked?"

EDIT* GOD FUCKING DAMMIT JAMEZ, YOU RUINED MY JOKE

Recursion

And then in what he though were his last moments, He felt bad for swearing, and went into a really weird trance and said:"I really like this story so far". No one cared as this always happened. and then the aurora crashed. Luckily, The emergency super-duper lifepod beamer thingy-whatsit beamed him down into lifepod 5 3/8ths.

Kouji_San

The thing is though... Once outside, still got hit in the head by a randomly appearing loose panel and got knocked out for a bit...

Phoenix1278

And woke up to a Sand shark making off with his wallet!

Recursion

So then he quickly grabbed on to a rabbit ray and zoomed after the sandshark, executed an awesome turn, and grabbed his wallet back! but then-

Timelord_Fred

The precursor gun shot all of the life pods and left the survivors without fabricators.

Kouji_San

And then the Duck Hunt dog popped out and laughed at everyone

story going into a "too stupid" direction? Or shall we continue

Jamezorg

But, using skills acquired in his cadet training, Riley was able to use loose bits of creepvine and metal to create a makeshift fabricator... but there was a catch. This fabricator would only be able to create one thing before burning to a crisp. With the Duck Hunt dog slowly approaching, Riley decided to make...

Timelord_Fred

The dive reel so he could take the dog for a walk on the floating island

zetachron

And then he got really mad at his PDA when he realized it was giving every new thing on Subnautica a name without consulting him, the true discoverer. "I will name this new discovered fish Eye Eye Skipper and not Peeper", he said. But he was overruled by his PDA, which he couldn't destroy, so he got even madder.

phantomfinch

(Not to do with the story)

First there was Twitch plays Pokemon.
Then it's various sequels.
Now there's subnautica community writes a story.

If you don't know what Twitch plays Pokemon.

sayerulz

Then the empire built an even bigger death star, and the entire plot to "A New Hope" was repeated but in the crappiest way possible.

Oh wait, that might be too stupid even for a shitpost thread.

Kouji_San

sayerulz wrote: »

Then the empire built an even bigger death star, and the entire plot to "A New Hope" was repeated but in the crappiest way possible.

Oh wait, that might be too stupid even for a shitpost thread.

Oh, hey... We're sorry for havin' some fun, while unable to meet your posting standards \o/

phantomfinch

sayerulz wrote: »

Then the empire built an even bigger death star, and the entire plot to "A New Hope" was repeated but in the crappiest way possible.

Oh wait, that might be too stupid even for a shitpost thread.

sayerulz

Recursion

anyways, he got a bit miffed when it turned out the dog only wanted to cuddle him, and then he found an abandoned PDA and destroyed his old one. He then made a scanner. But when he was scanning-

Timelord_Fred

The dog, he realised it...

Recursion

Was a holefish in disguise! so he quickly built a repair tool, went to his lifepod, and repaired the fabricator by just sticking the tip into a bunch of wires. Then he accidentally scanned a seaglide fragment and accidentally built it without using the fabricator.

zetachron

sayerulz wrote: »

I think the rule is "There's no Dakka like more Dakka" ...

SadPandaa

Since it was built without a fabricator, all controls were reversed and it reversed the bilge to suck in water instead of pressurize the cabin. This wasn't going to work at all, so he.....

Timelord_Fred

Sold it to a stalker while pretending to be a used seaglide/seamoth salesman

Gamechanger3849

I can't even keep up with this story anymore

Superstrider06

Then the Precursors attacked him for no real reason then they all had a dance party

Superstrider06

Gamechanger3849 wrote: »

I can't even keep up with this story anymore

Same here

NerdyEric

After the incredible dance party. He decided "Hey lets steal all their artifacts and take over their machinery". So he did that. After commandeering the gun he decides to shoot into space hoping that someone would see it and follow its back to the source, but little did he know it hit the empire's new death star causing much joy in the rebellion."

This was the most stinking fan fictional sentence I've ever written I just can't even

sayerulz

Until they realized that the empire had found warthunder's sektit dokumints, and that this new deathstar was, through the power of russian bias, equipped with stalinum armor....