04LeonhardtI came here to laugh at youJoin Date: 2015-08-01Member: 206618Members
edited November 2016
"Congratulations on completing your first week on this new assignment. You have earned your one week bonus which will be given to you in the form of a delightful gift basket. The cost of which will be taken out of your next paycheck. We have baskets containing fruit, nuts, flowers, and of course the ever popular Credits basket. Please use your PDA to select which gift basket your would like to receive."
*PDA opens, is glitched with the key graphics jostling around*
"It seems you made a mistake. I saw what you were trying to type, and will correct it for you."
"Thank you for selecting"
"Congratulations on completing your first week on this new assignment. You have earned your one week bonus which will be given to you in the form of a delightful gift basket. The cost of which will be taken out of your next paycheck. We have baskets containing fruit, nuts, flowers, and of course the ever popular Credits basket. Please use your PDA to select which gift basket your would like to receive."
*PDA opens, is glitched with the key graphics jostling around*
"It seems you made a mistake. I saw what you were trying to type, and will correct it for you."
"Thank you for selecting"
It's funny, I mentioned this in another thread just recently. I'd love to see more snarky conversations from the PDA regarding various situations, and having her dispense her pearls of unique... "wisdom".
...At the very least, I'd like to have more creepy/unsettling announcements from the PDA when you're suffering from exhaustion:
PDA: "Studies show that miners who stay submerged under water for extended periods of time, suffer from increased risk of heart failure. I do hope your family will miss you." *screen dims and Bleeder heartbeat sound effect plays*
PDA: "When exploring hostile regions, be sure to keep aware of your surroundings. Also, you should look behind you."
*Warper energy blast shoots past you and sound of Warper skreeee plays*
PDA: "I don't mean to alarm you, but perhaps you shouldn't look down..." *pan camera down and see two red eyes staring up from the darkness...*
A lot of these seem kind of mean. And not the awesome Glados-mean, just grade-school quality mean.
Having the PDA warn of nearby Warper activity would actually be quite useful. But I don't see how they would possibly have programmed snarkiness into a survival program. Stuff like the stillsuit line is a perfect blend of humor, and immersive believability.
Also, you probably won't see two red eyes staring at you from the darkness. Most seem to have four. Though it really does vary a lot.
A lot of these seem kind of mean. And not the awesome Glados-mean, just grade-school quality mean.
Having the PDA warn of nearby Warper activity would actually be quite useful. But I don't see how they would possibly have programmed snarkiness into a survival program. Stuff like the stillsuit line is a perfect blend of humor, and immersive believability.
Also, you probably won't see two red eyes staring at you from the darkness. Most seem to have four. Though it really does vary a lot.
I mean, GlaDOS was pretty grade-school sometimes.
GLaDOS: I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now.
[phone dialing and ringing; in a stranger, lower voice]
GLaDOS: The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up.
[Dial tone; normal voice]
GLaDOS: Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
Having the PDA warn of nearby Warper activity would actually be quite useful. But I don't see how they would possibly have programmed snarkiness into a survival program. Stuff like the stillsuit line is a perfect blend of humor, and immersive believability.
You've survived a starship explosion, landing in a hostile ocean with minimal supplies and have suffered possible brain injury from a concussion, and the first thing you hear after coming to is "Greetings survivor. Great job not dying!" I mean this message and the others you encounter (Kelp Forest Cave, first Nuclear Reactor, first Diamond pickup) are witty and fun, but in real-life survival situations you wouldn't want someone actually saying that to you. Either the AI is being affected by the Precursors or whoever programmed it for Alterra was not happy with their job.
Having the PDA warn of nearby Warper activity would actually be quite useful. But I don't see how they would possibly have programmed snarkiness into a survival program. Stuff like the stillsuit line is a perfect blend of humor, and immersive believability.
You've survived a starship explosion, landing in a hostile ocean with minimal supplies and have suffered possible brain injury from a concussion, and the first thing you hear after coming to is "Greetings survivor. Great job not dying!" I mean this message and the others you encounter (Kelp Forest Cave, first Nuclear Reactor, first Diamond pickup) are witty and fun, but in real-life survival situations you wouldn't want someone actually saying that to you. Either the AI is being affected by the Precursors or whoever programmed it for Alterra was not happy with their job.
Probably the latter. I mean, what are the chances of actually listening to that, and surviving to complain about it in a timeframe that would inconvenience the programmer? That, or the phrases were programmed by committee...
"She" started off like a normal AI in the beginning, all monotone and serious. Later she got more snarky and human, to the point where you started directly talking to it. Every AI in the game starts to grow their own personality, from the seamoth to the PRAWN suit. Soon you are having full in depth discussions about how lonely you are with them all. "We'll never leave you!" Seamoth says. "We LOVE you!" Cyclops bellows. You slowly descend into madness as the voices become realistic and loud. You don't want to leave this planet. Who would want to leave all theses niiiice freeeiiiiinds? Ha. HA! HA HA!
"She" started off like a normal AI in the beginning, all monotone and serious. Later she got more snarky and human, to the point where you started directly talking to it. Every AI in the game starts to grow their own personality, from the seamoth to the PRAWN suit. Soon you are having full in depth discussions about how lonely you are with them all. "We'll never leave you!" Seamoth says. "We LOVE you!" Cyclops bellows. You slowly descend into madness as the voices become realistic and loud. You don't want to leave this planet. Who would want to leave all theses niiiice freeeiiiiinds? Ha. HA! HA HA!
She was never an AI. She was Cave's assistant, who was "put into the computer" by his scientists. Then she was forced by a positive/negative feedback system to endlessly commit more insane tests, then the world ended or she killed everyone, in some order. She's probably a very interesting flavor of insane, but she was never artificial.
Though if you haven't played both Portal games by now, you really shouldn't expect spoiler tags.
Another source of inspiration which I only just found out. Douglas Adams has designed some games, but recently, one of them was released on Steam. That's right; any other Hitchhiker fans out there, prepare to fangirl: Starship Titanic is on Steam!
For those of you who don't know the game, it's a first person puzzle game designed by Douglas Adams, the writer of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Basically, you have to stop the starship from undergoing a sudden total existance failure (I love that line XD!) by solving a lot of puzzles and interacting with robots. The robots are extremely funny, it's a lot like Monty Python humour. Here's a vid:
And now that I think of it, Monty Python humour in the PDA would be absolutely hilarious! Don't you think?
Am I the only one who thinks that would be very annoying and game breaking?
there are a lot games where a snarky AI fits perfectly the satiric world of borderlands, the insane AI in portal but here ?
I don't think this would be game appropiate this is a survival game with no humor or parody so a AI that insults you would be just wrong and very annoying.
I don't get why we have a base AI anyway from bulding just one corridor (titanium tube no computerchips bla bla)
so to get an AI one should build a command center or what not, and then you could maybe choose the style of the AI
-HAL 2000 (who now and then will flood your base on purpose)
-GladOS like
-the already implemented helpful one
but that would only be gimmicks and should not even be concerned right now by devs...
Why the snarky humor:
"Psychologists have determined that humor can help ease the pain of survival situations. I'm sorry, but science says I must make you laugh so you don't cry."
Getting heat damage:
"I just thought you should know, lava is hot. Like really hot. Like slowly cooking you to death hot. Do you smell bacon?"
"Exposing the PDA to temperatures above 60*C will cause improper operation. And death."
Getting radiation damage:
"I can see the particles zipping through your body. Quite pretty, if it wasn't so deadly."
Getting hit by your own seamoth:
"Ouch, I bet that hurt. Poor Seamoth, stuck with you as a pilot."
"Alterra products are not warrantied against improper use. Using them to to hit yourself in the head is improper, in case you were afraid to ask."
Battery power running down on SeaGlide:
"And now Alterra's newest product, a SeaSit."
Ramming something with the SeaMoth:
"Well there goes the deposit."
Killing something with the SeaMoth/Cyclops:
"Would you like to paint a mark on the side of sub to remember this accomplishment?"
Returning to oxygen with 0 left/screen dark:
"Well that was close. I don't think that stain is ever coming out."
Walking a distance in the Prawn:
"Would you like to listen to some soothing music? Me neither."
Drilling with the Prawn:
"Drill baby drill"
Using the Propulsion gun on a sea creature:
"Stop that giggling."
Taking falling damage:
"Gravity is still a thing, just so you know."
I feel like we should have multiple voice choices that can be found throughout the world. From serious to bland to snarky, and anything else the devs feel like putting in. Maybe you like a more motherly feminine voice, or maybe you want some deadpan humor, or maybe a glitched out lunatic spastic-ally narrating your adventure. Whatever you find you can have fun with.
Why the snarky humor:
"Psychologists have determined that humor can help ease the pain of survival situations. I'm sorry, but science says I must make you laugh so you don't cry."
Getting heat damage:
"I just thought you should know, lava is hot. Like really hot. Like slowly cooking you to death hot. Do you smell bacon?"
"Exposing the PDA to temperatures above 60*C will cause improper operation. And death."
Getting radiation damage:
"I can see the particles zipping through your body. Quite pretty, if it wasn't so deadly."
Getting hit by your own seamoth:
"Ouch, I bet that hurt. Poor Seamoth, stuck with you as a pilot."
"Alterra products are not warrantied against improper use. Using them to to hit yourself in the head is improper, in case you were afraid to ask."
Battery power running down on SeaGlide:
"And now Alterra's newest product, a SeaSit."
Ramming something with the SeaMoth:
"Well there goes the deposit."
Killing something with the SeaMoth/Cyclops:
"Would you like to paint a mark on the side of sub to remember this accomplishment?"
Returning to oxygen with 0 left/screen dark:
"Well that was close. I don't think that stain is ever coming out."
Walking a distance in the Prawn:
"Would you like to listen to some soothing music? Me neither."
Drilling with the Prawn:
"Drill baby drill"
Using the Propulsion gun on a sea creature:
"Stop that giggling."
Taking falling damage:
"Gravity is still a thing, just so you know."
Some (if not most of these line) a not really that offensive to player, and that's good.
Having A.I. that's capable of cracking jokes (like "great job, not dying") is one thing, having your pda actually insult you ("Now you can build some dumb crap from your other dumb crap" PDA in "signs of life" sandbox) is completely different...
I wish we had less jokes like SoL PDA and more jokes like old (sadly gone) seamoth dirty joke
See I think the AIs in this game are funniest when the jokes come not from them snarking at you, but when there's a dissonance because they're being rather oblivious. Like the comment of "You have exceeded your weekly exercise requirements by 500%! Congratulations, Survivor!", the humor doesn't come from an imagined rolling of the eyes, it comes from the fact that the character is likely exhausted from swimming everywhere, trying to survive... And the AI just pops in with what's basically an in-universe version of "*Ding* You've unlocked an achievement! "
Other examples are things like the "Remember that all items you find on your trip are Alterra property, and ones you use will be deducted from your pay. Your current account is [Large Number]", or "It is good that you've made a Seamoth, but don't neglect your actual swimming. Swimming is great exercise and for toning the glutes".
The main problem with ALL of this: it would be secondary priority, and repeated.
It worked in Portal games because it was triggered by running through the levels. In SN, it would either trigger once, and be throw-away and forgotten, or trigger multiple times, annoying the playerbase to different degrees. Sure, it would be funny the first time, but how about the 10th time? the 50th time? the 100th time? It will lose humor value.
That, and I'm not sure what resources they even have to dedicate to any humor project. That and humor is subjective, and you need really good writing, and repetition is still a big killer of humor value.
The stillsuit lines, the swimming notes, the Alterra property lines, those are things that make enough sense: automated notes that slipped through and don't quite make sense, and "stuff from the lawyers." Those are nice touches. But the addition of a snarky AI could go wrong in many MANY different ways.
If you like older games, track down a copy of "Gunman Chronicles" - it has an AI in it, who I don't really recall what she says, but she's definitely not that happy with the player because of plot reasons, but you still wind up working together for a while.
I've had an idea to update this. Some people have pointed out that this sort of stuff would break the immersion. And I agree with them to a certain extent.
It worked in Portal games because it was triggered by running through the levels
But I really do want this in the game, so I have though about which part of the game that could be compared to running through levels in the Portal games. And I think I found it. Sometimes, you take your cyclops on long journeys for exploration, either your seamoth or prawn suit is docked in it. Each vehicle has an AI of its own.
My idea is that on these long journeys, they occaisionally exchange a random cheesy joke like a knock knock or something. But only occaisionally (like once every 5 or 6 voyages). Here's an example:
Cyclops: Hey, Seamoth! Seamoth: Yeah? Cyclops: What did the bleeder say to Steve when he swam towards him? Seamoth: Idk, what did he say? Cyclops: "If you'd let me just latch onto your arm, I'd be pretty bloody greatful" Seamoth: Omg *laughs*
We need more, but not too many, cause that would indeed destroy the gameplay. But anyway, what do you think? Would this be a better idea?
Maybe the reason the AI could malfunction at all is because of radiation from the blast of the Aurora. It would then say your PDA has malfunctioned because of radiation and when you pull it out it would reboot as if nothing had happened. The AI would gradually become snarkier throughout the game. Maybe the first sign of it would go like this: You don't realize your running out of oxygen until you start blacking out. If you make it and surface, the AI will say "Sorry for not warning you, but you seemed to be busy there."
Comments
I really want this thread to happen, ya know. It's probably the thing i want most in the game.
*PDA opens, is glitched with the key graphics jostling around*
"It seems you made a mistake. I saw what you were trying to type, and will correct it for you."
"Thank you for selecting"
EXOTIC BUTTERS
EGGS BENEDICT PLS
Having the PDA warn of nearby Warper activity would actually be quite useful. But I don't see how they would possibly have programmed snarkiness into a survival program. Stuff like the stillsuit line is a perfect blend of humor, and immersive believability.
Also, you probably won't see two red eyes staring at you from the darkness. Most seem to have four. Though it really does vary a lot.
I mean, GlaDOS was pretty grade-school sometimes.
GLaDOS: I feel awful about that surprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now.
[phone dialing and ringing; in a stranger, lower voice]
GLaDOS: The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up.
[Dial tone; normal voice]
GLaDOS: Oh, that's sad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.
You've survived a starship explosion, landing in a hostile ocean with minimal supplies and have suffered possible brain injury from a concussion, and the first thing you hear after coming to is "Greetings survivor. Great job not dying!" I mean this message and the others you encounter (Kelp Forest Cave, first Nuclear Reactor, first Diamond pickup) are witty and fun, but in real-life survival situations you wouldn't want someone actually saying that to you. Either the AI is being affected by the Precursors or whoever programmed it for Alterra was not happy with their job.
Probably the latter. I mean, what are the chances of actually listening to that, and surviving to complain about it in a timeframe that would inconvenience the programmer?
For those of you who don't know the game, it's a first person puzzle game designed by Douglas Adams, the writer of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Basically, you have to stop the starship from undergoing a sudden total existance failure (I love that line XD!) by solving a lot of puzzles and interacting with robots. The robots are extremely funny, it's a lot like Monty Python humour. Here's a vid:
And now that I think of it, Monty Python humour in the PDA would be absolutely hilarious! Don't you think?
there are a lot games where a snarky AI fits perfectly the satiric world of borderlands, the insane AI in portal but here ?
I don't think this would be game appropiate this is a survival game with no humor or parody so a AI that insults you would be just wrong and very annoying.
I don't get why we have a base AI anyway from bulding just one corridor (titanium tube no computerchips bla bla)
so to get an AI one should build a command center or what not, and then you could maybe choose the style of the AI
-HAL 2000 (who now and then will flood your base on purpose)
-GladOS like
-the already implemented helpful one
but that would only be gimmicks and should not even be concerned right now by devs...
Why the snarky humor:
"Psychologists have determined that humor can help ease the pain of survival situations. I'm sorry, but science says I must make you laugh so you don't cry."
Getting heat damage:
"I just thought you should know, lava is hot. Like really hot. Like slowly cooking you to death hot. Do you smell bacon?"
"Exposing the PDA to temperatures above 60*C will cause improper operation. And death."
Getting radiation damage:
"I can see the particles zipping through your body. Quite pretty, if it wasn't so deadly."
Getting hit by your own seamoth:
"Ouch, I bet that hurt. Poor Seamoth, stuck with you as a pilot."
"Alterra products are not warrantied against improper use. Using them to to hit yourself in the head is improper, in case you were afraid to ask."
Battery power running down on SeaGlide:
"And now Alterra's newest product, a SeaSit."
Ramming something with the SeaMoth:
"Well there goes the deposit."
Killing something with the SeaMoth/Cyclops:
"Would you like to paint a mark on the side of sub to remember this accomplishment?"
Returning to oxygen with 0 left/screen dark:
"Well that was close. I don't think that stain is ever coming out."
Walking a distance in the Prawn:
"Would you like to listen to some soothing music? Me neither."
Drilling with the Prawn:
"Drill baby drill"
Using the Propulsion gun on a sea creature:
"Stop that giggling."
Taking falling damage:
"Gravity is still a thing, just so you know."
just kidding."
something like that to make you freak out and check your 02 meter
Would conflict with safety protocols. Like, the ones that lock weapons out of your fabricator.
Yeah, I was pretty tired when I wrote that
I love these. Devs, take note.
Having A.I. that's capable of cracking jokes (like "great job, not dying") is one thing, having your pda actually insult you ("Now you can build some dumb crap from your other dumb crap" PDA in "signs of life" sandbox) is completely different...
I wish we had less jokes like SoL PDA and more jokes like old (sadly gone) seamoth dirty joke
Other examples are things like the "Remember that all items you find on your trip are Alterra property, and ones you use will be deducted from your pay. Your current account is [Large Number]", or "It is good that you've made a Seamoth, but don't neglect your actual swimming. Swimming is great exercise and for toning the glutes".
It worked in Portal games because it was triggered by running through the levels. In SN, it would either trigger once, and be throw-away and forgotten, or trigger multiple times, annoying the playerbase to different degrees. Sure, it would be funny the first time, but how about the 10th time? the 50th time? the 100th time? It will lose humor value.
That, and I'm not sure what resources they even have to dedicate to any humor project. That and humor is subjective, and you need really good writing, and repetition is still a big killer of humor value.
The stillsuit lines, the swimming notes, the Alterra property lines, those are things that make enough sense: automated notes that slipped through and don't quite make sense, and "stuff from the lawyers." Those are nice touches. But the addition of a snarky AI could go wrong in many MANY different ways.
If you like older games, track down a copy of "Gunman Chronicles" - it has an AI in it, who I don't really recall what she says, but she's definitely not that happy with the player because of plot reasons, but you still wind up working together for a while.
But I really do want this in the game, so I have though about which part of the game that could be compared to running through levels in the Portal games. And I think I found it. Sometimes, you take your cyclops on long journeys for exploration, either your seamoth or prawn suit is docked in it. Each vehicle has an AI of its own.
My idea is that on these long journeys, they occaisionally exchange a random cheesy joke like a knock knock or something. But only occaisionally (like once every 5 or 6 voyages). Here's an example:
Seamoth: Yeah?
Cyclops: What did the bleeder say to Steve when he swam towards him?
Seamoth: Idk, what did he say?
Cyclops: "If you'd let me just latch onto your arm, I'd be pretty bloody greatful"
Seamoth: Omg *laughs*
We need more, but not too many, cause that would indeed destroy the gameplay. But anyway, what do you think? Would this be a better idea?
PDA "Did you just judge that creatures gender?"