Winners Of The 2003 Idiot Awards
<div class="IPBDescription">if you need a good laugh...</div> Number One Idiot of 2003
A medical student doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center receives a call from a woman who is very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. She is quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiots of 2003\
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2003
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So, he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number four Idiot of 2003
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about!)
Number Five Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
Idiot Number Six of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.
Idiot Number Seven of 2003
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Idiot Number Eight of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
A medical student doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center receives a call from a woman who is very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. She is quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiots of 2003\
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2003
A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So, he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number four Idiot of 2003
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about!)
Number Five Idiot of 2003
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!
Idiot Number Six of 2003
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.
Idiot Number Seven of 2003
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So, he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Idiot Number Eight of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Comments
Nah, you're not a full idiot yet, you're only a half-wit.
Badoom-tisch!
Haha that almost dosen't make sense, anyone with an intel would be getting one....
Idiot Number Eight of 2003
Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I remember reading this one in the paper. It's the second Michigan story in there.
A woman goes to McDonalds to get some coffe, puts the cup of coffee between her legs while drivng, spills the coffee, and sues McDonalds because the cup didnt say that it was hot. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
The cinder block one, the misspelled bank note, and the michigan robbers, notably, are quite old. You can find the cinder block and michigan robbers on DarwinAwards honorable mention in like 2001.
A lady went to McDonalds to get some coffee. She put the coffee between her legs while driving. She got burnt and sued McDonalds becasue the cup didn't say that the contents were hot.
A woman goes to McDonalds to get some coffe, puts the cup of coffee between her legs while drivng, spills the coffee, and sues McDonalds because the cup didnt say that it was hot. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Things like that only happen in america..
Its just like thoose ppl who sued McDonalds because they got fat from eating there every day.
The cinder block one, the misspelled bank note, and the michigan robbers, notably, are quite old. You can find the cinder block and michigan robbers on DarwinAwards honorable mention in like 2001. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, no kidding. #2 is old too. Chances are good that some of them are urban myths, as well, mixed in with a couple true ones (I think at least a few have the right year). Idiocy is great topic for urban myths, after all...
Yeah, to tell you the truth, that pisses me off. But now McDonalds is covering its @$$ by offering low-fat meal choices like salads and water and such.
FOR GODS SAKE PEOPLE IF YOU DONT WANNA GET FAT, DON'T EAT THE D@MN HAMBURGERS.
I know that you may really want to see what comes after "Beast" in the post count chart, but double posting isn't really the best way to go about it.
just a thought.
I walked up to the counter and put my order on the counter. The cashier asked me, "Are you going to buy that?" "No," I said. "I'm stealing them. Just wanted to make sure you saw them before I left."
Here's your sign.
just had to put the gorge in there hes so cute <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
*falls over laughing*
I'll have to remember that one.
Yeah, to tell you the truth, that pisses me off. But now McDonalds is covering its @$$ by offering low-fat meal choices like salads and water and such.
FOR GODS SAKE PEOPLE IF YOU DONT WANNA GET FAT, DON'T EAT THE D@MN HAMBURGERS. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Actually, the burgers are quite healthy. Its the fries <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif'><!--endemo-->
They all diserver signs...
Just wait for his book when he retired...
^_^
The cinder block one, the misspelled bank note, and the michigan robbers, notably, are quite old. You can find the cinder block and michigan robbers on DarwinAwards honorable mention in like 2001. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, no kidding. #2 is old too. Chances are good that some of them are urban myths, as well, mixed in with a couple true ones (I think at least a few have the right year). Idiocy is great topic for urban myths, after all... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Nope, they are all true.
Some culled from a book called "The Stupid Crook Book" by Leland Gregory. They're hilarious. Here's some more:
A shoplifter from Utah was seen stuffing a CD under his shirt and was stopped by the clerk. The thief tore free, bolted through the door, and ran face-first into a pillar in front of the store, knocking himself unconscious.
During a picnic of county probation officers in Yuba City, California, two thieves failed in their attempt to steal a BBQ grill - the grill was still hot.
A burglar who was watching his four-year-old daughter broke into a Newark, New Jersey home, stole several items, and successfully got away, leaving only one small clue - his four-year-old daughter.