That Aweful Chuckle
FISHY89SG
Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 7028Members
Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 7028Members
<div class="IPBDescription">O.k chap 2 was quite fast</div> O.k i wont disapoint u all on the grammer and vocab but i didnt get good grades for enlish lol. Any Chap 2 will have some Heros and some love making and here it is........
Btw most of the name are wierd cause i'm trying to use my clan members name in it
The Aweful Chuckle Part Two By Lets Go Fishing
"Commander we got the Lady, she's one pretty gal." Said the Marine who rescued Yuna
"Good job Ju Li, M&M, team up with slayer and get to the docking bay. Lamejoker and Brian is pin down, Ju Li scout the surrounding area as usual and report in every minute, one of those onos is on the lose, the rest guard base." said the commander from the intercom
All the marines started looking at Yuna and her big boobs.
"What?" said Yuna with that weird look on her face.
"Yuna report to the crew lockers, and knock it off slayer."
Yuna started walking to the lockers and there was the ships commander waiting for her there.
"Hi there." said the commander
"Don't even start with me." replied Yuna
"Who says I'm starting with you, anyway welcome aboard the Ohio. I'm the commander of this ship and also the commander of this bunch of marines."
"What's your name?"
"Sergeant Sam"
Sam actually looked attractive and had interesting muscles.
"O.k. Sam can you tell me what's going on here? That bull almost killed me."
"I'll explain. We didn't know how these things had come aboard our ship. We were on our way to an operation when these things started appearing on our ship. Soon one of our marines got missing. His name is Fishing and we haven heard from him since. We than lost comm to our engine crew who is Huai Ren and Berg. We suspected that we had kharaa aboard our ship and we got up our defenses up but in the process the kharaa managed to get a second hive up and fades arrived. We haven suffered any casualties since than but the ammo box blew up and we lost all our ammo and guns. So we had no choice but to raid your ship, which had the goods, we want, Than we assign Private Monkey to guard you but one of those **** got him and you managed to escape, and since you saw the bull we suspect that the aliens are preparing for a strike against us. However if you do manage to locate Fishing and the engine crew alive do tell us.'
"What are the Kharaa and what u mean by hives and how did you drop that medpack?"
"I'll explain but first i need you to get into that Suit."
Yuna started walking and placed that suit on and got back to the commander.
"O.k the kharaa are blah blah blah."
Now lets focus on another section of the ship.
Somewhere in the ventilation ship system..........
"Commander Sam do you read?"
"God damm it RESPOND U ****@!"
"Great I'm **** I'm **** for sure."
*A ROAR!*
"Uh oh...."
Now to M&M and slayer
"Man that's one sexy lady, Her boobs are sure big."
"Yeah I'll love to see her strip when this is over."
*Chuckle*
"****!"
Back to Yuna
"And that's how Nano tech works get it?"
"Yeah so where are my guns?"
"What do you want? Shotty? HMG? But no rocket launcher it'll destroy the hull."
"Have you seen my personal shotty? It had my name in it."
"Yes here it is."
Sam hands Yuna the modified shotty and try to touch her hand but she's pulls her hand away before he can get a hold of it.
"O.k. i want you to..."
"Commander! INCOMMING! FADES!!" Shouted Ju Li on the intercom.
"All marines get into fighting position and prepare your guns it's show time." shouted Sam though the intercom as he enter his CC .
"Yuna get yourself some shells and cover the east entrance." said the commander
Yuna quickly picked up some shells and got into position.
"Ju Li try and ambush those fades from behind by east entrance."
"Roger."
Yuna loaded her shotty and watch the entrance.
"M&M slayer report."
"Commander we reach the docking bay, looks like Brain and lamejoker had to retreat to another place we also whack a skulk."
"O.k. get back to base via west entrance and ambush the incoming fades."
"Roger"
Yuna could hear something and it didn't sound good. Than suddenly some sort of rocket flew into the room and whack the lights.
"Open fire!"
"RAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT."
"Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK!"
*Acid rockets hit the buildings and one almost hit Yuna
"Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK!"
"RAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT."
Yuna started firing. Yuna could see the fade except it was in a orange cloud of gas and her shells aren't doing any effect.
"RAT, TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT." Came Ju Li as he fire from behind but still to no avail.
Ju Li quickly dodge the acid rocket and flies cross the fade and back into the base as he got into position to assist Yuna. Berg and M&M had also returned and help the other marines. The turrets were going down and they are quickly losing it.
"Fall Back!"
All the marines started falling back in order but the acid rockets still kept coming.
"We're losing it!"
"We're all gonna DIE!"
One of the rockets Hit Ju Li and he fell back into the lockers.
"FALL BACK TO THE CREW LOCKERS!"
All the marines quickly fell back and another marine got hit. Most of the marines were firing like there was no tomorrow. Almost all the buildings in the marine base were melted and the fades were advancing in to their main base.
The Aliens started gathering in a group and were throwing the rockets in one big group. The orange cloud was also there were they were standing. Their Bullets were nothing!
The marines were really desperate; they were losing the number of able marines fast.
The marines were dying and commander Sam could do nothing to save them, he rushed to their aid and grab a HMG and started firing.
The Fades was about to make one final rocket blow when suddenly...
"BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!!!"
A explosion rocked the room. More explosions happened and this time it hit the fades. Another explosion than another and finally everything was quiet.....
The Fades were dead and everything was clear. Yuna and Sam got out to find out what had happened.
Just than a marine came out of from one of the entrances, he was holding a grenade launcher, it was Fishing.
Btw most of the name are wierd cause i'm trying to use my clan members name in it
The Aweful Chuckle Part Two By Lets Go Fishing
"Commander we got the Lady, she's one pretty gal." Said the Marine who rescued Yuna
"Good job Ju Li, M&M, team up with slayer and get to the docking bay. Lamejoker and Brian is pin down, Ju Li scout the surrounding area as usual and report in every minute, one of those onos is on the lose, the rest guard base." said the commander from the intercom
All the marines started looking at Yuna and her big boobs.
"What?" said Yuna with that weird look on her face.
"Yuna report to the crew lockers, and knock it off slayer."
Yuna started walking to the lockers and there was the ships commander waiting for her there.
"Hi there." said the commander
"Don't even start with me." replied Yuna
"Who says I'm starting with you, anyway welcome aboard the Ohio. I'm the commander of this ship and also the commander of this bunch of marines."
"What's your name?"
"Sergeant Sam"
Sam actually looked attractive and had interesting muscles.
"O.k. Sam can you tell me what's going on here? That bull almost killed me."
"I'll explain. We didn't know how these things had come aboard our ship. We were on our way to an operation when these things started appearing on our ship. Soon one of our marines got missing. His name is Fishing and we haven heard from him since. We than lost comm to our engine crew who is Huai Ren and Berg. We suspected that we had kharaa aboard our ship and we got up our defenses up but in the process the kharaa managed to get a second hive up and fades arrived. We haven suffered any casualties since than but the ammo box blew up and we lost all our ammo and guns. So we had no choice but to raid your ship, which had the goods, we want, Than we assign Private Monkey to guard you but one of those **** got him and you managed to escape, and since you saw the bull we suspect that the aliens are preparing for a strike against us. However if you do manage to locate Fishing and the engine crew alive do tell us.'
"What are the Kharaa and what u mean by hives and how did you drop that medpack?"
"I'll explain but first i need you to get into that Suit."
Yuna started walking and placed that suit on and got back to the commander.
"O.k the kharaa are blah blah blah."
Now lets focus on another section of the ship.
Somewhere in the ventilation ship system..........
"Commander Sam do you read?"
"God damm it RESPOND U ****@!"
"Great I'm **** I'm **** for sure."
*A ROAR!*
"Uh oh...."
Now to M&M and slayer
"Man that's one sexy lady, Her boobs are sure big."
"Yeah I'll love to see her strip when this is over."
*Chuckle*
"****!"
Back to Yuna
"And that's how Nano tech works get it?"
"Yeah so where are my guns?"
"What do you want? Shotty? HMG? But no rocket launcher it'll destroy the hull."
"Have you seen my personal shotty? It had my name in it."
"Yes here it is."
Sam hands Yuna the modified shotty and try to touch her hand but she's pulls her hand away before he can get a hold of it.
"O.k. i want you to..."
"Commander! INCOMMING! FADES!!" Shouted Ju Li on the intercom.
"All marines get into fighting position and prepare your guns it's show time." shouted Sam though the intercom as he enter his CC .
"Yuna get yourself some shells and cover the east entrance." said the commander
Yuna quickly picked up some shells and got into position.
"Ju Li try and ambush those fades from behind by east entrance."
"Roger."
Yuna loaded her shotty and watch the entrance.
"M&M slayer report."
"Commander we reach the docking bay, looks like Brain and lamejoker had to retreat to another place we also whack a skulk."
"O.k. get back to base via west entrance and ambush the incoming fades."
"Roger"
Yuna could hear something and it didn't sound good. Than suddenly some sort of rocket flew into the room and whack the lights.
"Open fire!"
"RAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT."
"Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK!"
*Acid rockets hit the buildings and one almost hit Yuna
"Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK!"
"RAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT."
Yuna started firing. Yuna could see the fade except it was in a orange cloud of gas and her shells aren't doing any effect.
"RAT, TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT." Came Ju Li as he fire from behind but still to no avail.
Ju Li quickly dodge the acid rocket and flies cross the fade and back into the base as he got into position to assist Yuna. Berg and M&M had also returned and help the other marines. The turrets were going down and they are quickly losing it.
"Fall Back!"
All the marines started falling back in order but the acid rockets still kept coming.
"We're losing it!"
"We're all gonna DIE!"
One of the rockets Hit Ju Li and he fell back into the lockers.
"FALL BACK TO THE CREW LOCKERS!"
All the marines quickly fell back and another marine got hit. Most of the marines were firing like there was no tomorrow. Almost all the buildings in the marine base were melted and the fades were advancing in to their main base.
The Aliens started gathering in a group and were throwing the rockets in one big group. The orange cloud was also there were they were standing. Their Bullets were nothing!
The marines were really desperate; they were losing the number of able marines fast.
The marines were dying and commander Sam could do nothing to save them, he rushed to their aid and grab a HMG and started firing.
The Fades was about to make one final rocket blow when suddenly...
"BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!!!"
A explosion rocked the room. More explosions happened and this time it hit the fades. Another explosion than another and finally everything was quiet.....
The Fades were dead and everything was clear. Yuna and Sam got out to find out what had happened.
Just than a marine came out of from one of the entrances, he was holding a grenade launcher, it was Fishing.
Comments
Added: <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=6&t=28690' target='_blank'>You can read the first part of the story here.</a>
And why do you insist on the CAPs lock key being stuck when you reply in such a juvenile manner?
Edit: Links to other stories added for ease of use.
have i forgot 2 tell you this is my first few time doing fan fic
So if u dont stop laming around than **** OFF
<!--QuoteBegin--"FISHY89SG+ Apr 8 2003, 06:35 AM"--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ("FISHY89SG @ Apr 8 2003, 06:35 AM")</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
Pls review
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?act=ST&f=6&t=28690' target='_blank'>Source of Quote</a>
If you seriously thought I was flaming, you should report me to a forum admin or at least just send me a PM stating so, rather than taking me on in your own thread where every other forum goer can see our disagreement and subsequent conflagration.
your story has <b>much</b> potential.
however like my english teacher says...dev
(which means develope, as in more detail)
you definetly need to dev you work, make your action sequences more detailed
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Open fire!"
"RAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT."
"Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK!"
*Acid rockets hit the buildings and one almost hit Yuna
"Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK! Balm! SHUNK CLANK!"
"RAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT, TAT."
Yuna started firing. Yuna could see the fade except it was in a orange cloud of gas and her shells aren't doing any effect.
"RAT, TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT,TAT." Came Ju Li as he fire from behind but still to no avail.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
something like
the fade screamed in that menacing way, the symbiotic gun on it's shoulder opened up, and fired several acid rockets that shot across the room, Yuna dived to the floor as the acid rocket swooshed past, missing her by inches and exploding on the armory behind her, Yuna leveled her shotgun, cursing at the fade in her mind as she released her personal weapons fury upon the beast. The fade screamed a wail of agony, green liquid oozing as it slowly retreated, Yuna could of swore that she heard a gulping noise coming from the alien, and that the wounds inflicted were already starting to heal, but in the heat of battle she dismissed it as being nothing. A cloud of blue appeared and the fade was suddenly gone, she sighed. The lull in the battle was short lived as several dog like aliens rushed the marines...
keep it up, I'm looking forward to the next post, and remember <i>helpfull critiques/comments</i> only!
if you don't like what the writer or someone giving feedback said then settle it over civil PM's/IM's
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
[edit
made a few points clearer
[/edit]
when does the next chapter come out?
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Laziness... the death of us all <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> .
Anywho, I'm working on a piece of fiction myself. I just showed it to a couple of people, and just now I realized that I have to:
-Expand
-Touch up
-The usual
And if you didn't get good grades in grammar, that's not an excuse. Most people that don't get good grades at least learn it. Everyone get's in the spotlight of embarrasment once in a while whilst writing literature, dude.
Anywho, I really didn't read it, because I don't want to strain my eyes. I'm going to print it out (since I like reading paper rather than reading off a PC).
Laziness... the death of us all <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
very true!
As far as cooling down goes, the only things that ticked me off was calling me a lamer and flamer, as I try to avoid being that and felt unfairly labled. Hehe, is there even a dictionary like definition for flamer or lamer?
v. flamed, flam·ing, flames
v. intr.
To burn brightly; blaze.
To color or flash suddenly: cheeks that flamed with embarrassment.
Informal. To make insulting criticisms or remarks, as on a computer network, to incite anger.
v. tr.
To burn, ignite, or scorch (something) with a flame.
<b>Informal. To insult or criticize provokingly, as on a computer network.</b>
Obsolete. To excite; inflame
<span style='color:red'>Heh, I couldn't help it <b><!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--></b></span>
As far as cooling down goes, the only things that ticked me off was calling me a lamer and flamer, as I try to avoid being that and felt unfairly labled. Hehe, is there even a dictionary like definition for flamer or lamer? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
he knows that he is waaaaaaaay to nice, thats one of his shortcomings, along with being to damn guillable (long story)
glad to see that everyone has kissed and made up
a little criticism goes a long way....
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->