It aint easy. I find rereading your story helps... but I usually get brain locked and have to wait until the story is fresh for me again to continue it. Like, I almost forgot about the music they hear in maintenance.... and somewhat where my story was going. Sides, I'm not that focused. I've been weeks to months between chapters recently... but knowing what your point is, and where the story ends, and wanting to see it more than any other part of your story, helps a lot. I usually don't write a story straight through, I usually write different parts as I am inspired to... but this has forced me to be more singular. I HAVE written later chapters, and then waited until I wrote the ones before to post it....
If you have to, just take a break until you can read your story from a non-involved point-of-view. Changing old chapters is fine, I do that all the time. I'm somewhat forced to not change major things in Monster, though I would if I could.
It's also very important to know why everything happens, even if the reader does not. If you have a structure.......... holy cow, I am lecturing... heh
best thing I can say is, take a break if you need to, and if you find yourself becoming too self critical, well... take a break <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> and, one thing I find that helps, is having something to break up the flow for fun... I've written a lot of "modern" chapters about just the life of Jack, so I had something fresher to think about... k, I'm done. heh. Working on my next chapter tonight, if this kitten would get off my back and stop licking my ear.
<!--QuoteBegin-DeepShadows+Jul 25 2004, 03:19 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DeepShadows @ Jul 25 2004, 03:19 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> If you have to, just take a break until you can read your story from a non-involved point-of-view. Changing old chapters is fine, I do that all the time. I'm somewhat forced to not change major things in Monster, though I would if I could. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> After you get it all down, I'm sure we wouldn't mind some changes if (1) you kept an "original" copy around and (2) the story gets even awesomer <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Dont forget about us, your devoted fans shadows! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Would anyone believe me if I said I finally completed the <a href='http://nsmonster.tripod.com/part34.html' target='_blank'>next chapter?</a>
I have a horrible feeling this is where people will get turned off to the story, not to mention it took me so long because of my europe trip, a film project I am doing and work.... blah. but I AM working on monster every night now, so... updates will be more regular again.
I don't know why people would be turned off by it. Sure, it's written in a different style, and...seems to be less dark than before, I don't know. Keep it up.
Soul_RiderMod BeanJoin Date: 2004-06-19Member: 29388Members, Constellation, Squad Five Blue
Nice update, it will all depend on how well it is interacted with the story as to whether or not it will put people off, they won't judge it on this one chapter. It does have the possible effect of leading it away from NS and into something of it's own, but then, if it's a dream type sequence, you can do what the hell you want, it's a dream. All the same, the standard is still as good as your others, just slightly different style.
While I am always glad for good news, surely there is someone who read this and did NOT like it, or at least recent developments. Is anyone here reading this with a silent but all to real disgust for something about this writing? Not that I don't enjoy getting compliments, but as far as writing goes, insults are actually more helpful <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I liked it, but as Soul Rider said, it kind of leads away from NS. Of course, it's not like you can't explore someone's thoughts, but personally, I like to read stories that don't stray much.
Soul_RiderMod BeanJoin Date: 2004-06-19Member: 29388Members, Constellation, Squad Five Blue
As i said before deep shadows, we can't tell until we read where this new chapter takes the story. If it leads off into a weird psycadelic off the wall story, it may be that you get everyone up in arms, and requests for you to be hung, or it may be that you are praised for a brilliant new idea. Conversely, if this is one of your weird dream sequences, of which there have been a few already, and it then returns to the story, and the sequence is adequately explained, there is nothing to comment on. At the end of the day, one chapter can just be an interlude. When you've added another couple of chapters and we see where the story is going, then you may well be criticised, but until then, enjoy the adulation of your fan base. There is also the little fact that your story is actually bigger and more interesting than the official background anyway, and as such, is more likely to be given a certain amount of artistic license than many other stories, because the people reading this are reading Monster, they have bought into the story. If you ever officially release anything about Monster, i'm sure you have the people here willing to part with their hard earned. You have done what everyone dreams of doing, creating a devoted and interested fan base, that believe in the story, and the author. Where you take them is where they'll go. So stop bloody worrying, and get the story finished!
<ul><li><i>"The crying seemed ghost.</i> - "ghost" seems the incorrect word to use here...maybe "ghost-like" or something similar.</li><li><i>"Click, click." Went my feet, stepping over the closed ground that swallowed the sea.</i> - the full stop should probably be a comma instead, and the W in "Went" shouldn't be capitalised.</li></ul> Those are the only two things I picked up - it seems like a solid chapter <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> Personally I'm finding more interest in the actual action, but to leave out the literature references (notably Dante) would make the whole story a bit bland. Keep it up - I'm sure when all the literary pieces slide into place, we'll appreciate it a lot more.
A: This chapter only took so long because it was the most difficult chapter to write, and I am still not happy with it. I had to research quite a bit to get it done. I have not linked it to the main pages yet because I'm unsure it is even done... That having been said, every chapter after this should go much faster.
B: This, and EVERYTHING WILL be explain, tied in, sensable, and with form. I do have a complete picture and it should be, with good hope, worth the earlier difficulties.
C: The story will have much less of this, and much more of what we are used to in the game. The story could not really function as such until now. This is the main part of the story here, and there will be much teching and combatting and action to be had for many, many, many chapters until everyone wets themself in carnage joy.
So that is that, hope the chapter is somewhat enjoyable, though it is not quite back into the story. I really considered waiting until I had the next chapter done to put this one up, simply because it would give everyone a solid afterchapter to look forward to.
Onto other thoughts, I thought I'd ask you all a few things. My friend is re-doing the Monster page for me, and is planning on creating a short intro. He has ideas, I have ideas, but I thought I'd toss it up and see what any of you thought before we make a jumping clown beating up old men for his socks.
Secondly, partly related to the intro, partly to possible other things *dun dun DUN* We were curious if anyone knew how to get natural-selection, or half-life models in general, into Maya or any 3d modeling package.
Finally, I have a word of caution to you all. My friend Geoff tells me a story one day. (Yes, Geoff. Two of the characters in NS are based upon real people, one being Geoff Rich. You might see him online under the name Bishop. Tony Gambino is the other, but he's too busy doing mafia crime stuff to fight aliens.)
Anyway, he was on the Max train one day, and saw a kid sitting with his friend. He was dressed all punk, with a cigarette in each ear.
So, he tells his friend that he had to take them from his dad, and would have to put them back in the package when he got home so his father wouldn't know.
aka dweep kid wanting to seem bad takes cigarettes he does not intend to smoke simply for visual...... you know what, nevermind. I hate humanity.
Good stuff as usual, DeepShadows, but confusing, lol. :x Crazy person that you are. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> Anyways, would love to write more, but no time. >.<
meh... someone else want to write the next chapter? I'll write the rest of it, I promise.
btw, the next chapter, once I get it done *blah* will be up along with a new site design at a new location hosted by the glorious person who I am too tired to recall who it is.... but he is writing that other fanfic story... the one... you know...
I am tired.... someone stirr me into writing, out of motivation.
Soul_RiderMod BeanJoin Date: 2004-06-19Member: 29388Members, Constellation, Squad Five Blue
I think you are refering to me, but then in that tired stupor you are in, it could be anyone!!
I am in the throes of working on some NS based websites. A fan-fiction one and a customisation one at the moment. Monster, my story Brobdingnagian and Gates, Moon and Stars by Ryo-Ohki will be the first stories hosted, with hopefully more quality NS fanfics included in the near future. A URL update will be released shortly, keep 'em peeled.
<!--QuoteBegin-DiscoDuck+Jan 10 2005, 10:56 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DiscoDuck @ Jan 10 2005, 10:56 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> this post is a bump
it is not real
stop reading it alreay! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> I counter-bump
<!--QuoteBegin-DeepShadows+Jan 15 2005, 02:43 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DeepShadows @ Jan 15 2005, 02:43 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Hurrah site is back up...
.... and I have no new chapter.... how long has it been? Sorry guys :\ <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd--> Sad to see it die...Good while it lasted. : ( We Wub our DeepShadows though.
Comments
Sides, I'm not that focused. I've been weeks to months between chapters recently... but knowing what your point is, and where the story ends, and wanting to see it more than any other part of your story, helps a lot. I usually don't write a story straight through, I usually write different parts as I am inspired to... but this has forced me to be more singular. I HAVE written later chapters, and then waited until I wrote the ones before to post it....
If you have to, just take a break until you can read your story from a non-involved point-of-view. Changing old chapters is fine, I do that all the time. I'm somewhat forced to not change major things in Monster, though I would if I could.
It's also very important to know why everything happens, even if the reader does not. If you have a structure.......... holy cow, I am lecturing... heh
best thing I can say is, take a break if you need to, and if you find yourself becoming too self critical, well... take a break <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> and, one thing I find that helps, is having something to break up the flow for fun... I've written a lot of "modern" chapters about just the life of Jack, so I had something fresher to think about... k, I'm done. heh. Working on my next chapter tonight, if this kitten would get off my back and stop licking my ear.
After you get it all down, I'm sure we wouldn't mind some changes if (1) you kept an "original" copy around and (2) the story gets even awesomer <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I have a horrible feeling this is where people will get turned off to the story, not to mention it took me so long because of my europe trip, a film project I am doing and work.... blah. but I AM working on monster every night now, so... updates will be more regular again.
Sorry once more for the wait
Those are the only two things I picked up - it seems like a solid chapter <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> Personally I'm finding more interest in the actual action, but to leave out the literature references (notably Dante) would make the whole story a bit bland. Keep it up - I'm sure when all the literary pieces slide into place, we'll appreciate it a lot more.
Three points of assurance:
A: This chapter only took so long because it was the most difficult chapter to write, and I am still not happy with it. I had to research quite a bit to get it done. I have not linked it to the main pages yet because I'm unsure it is even done... That having been said, every chapter after this should go much faster.
B: This, and EVERYTHING WILL be explain, tied in, sensable, and with form. I do have a complete picture and it should be, with good hope, worth the earlier difficulties.
C: The story will have much less of this, and much more of what we are used to in the game. The story could not really function as such until now. This is the main part of the story here, and there will be much teching and combatting and action to be had for many, many, many chapters until everyone wets themself in carnage joy.
So that is that, hope the chapter is somewhat enjoyable, though it is not quite back into the story. I really considered waiting until I had the next chapter done to put this one up, simply because it would give everyone a solid afterchapter to look forward to.
Onto other thoughts, I thought I'd ask you all a few things. My friend is re-doing the Monster page for me, and is planning on creating a short intro. He has ideas, I have ideas, but I thought I'd toss it up and see what any of you thought before we make a jumping clown beating up old men for his socks.
Secondly, partly related to the intro, partly to possible other things *dun dun DUN* We were curious if anyone knew how to get natural-selection, or half-life models in general, into Maya or any 3d modeling package.
Finally, I have a word of caution to you all. My friend Geoff tells me a story one day. (Yes, Geoff. Two of the characters in NS are based upon real people, one being Geoff Rich. You might see him online under the name Bishop. Tony Gambino is the other, but he's too busy doing mafia crime stuff to fight aliens.)
Anyway, he was on the Max train one day, and saw a kid sitting with his friend. He was dressed all punk, with a cigarette in each ear.
So, he tells his friend that he had to take them from his dad, and would have to put them back in the package when he got home so his father wouldn't know.
aka dweep kid wanting to seem bad takes cigarettes he does not intend to smoke simply for visual...... you know what, nevermind. I hate humanity.
Enjoy the chapter.
btw, the next chapter, once I get it done *blah* will be up along with a new site design at a new location hosted by the glorious person who I am too tired to recall who it is.... but he is writing that other fanfic story... the one... you know...
I am tired.... someone stirr me into writing, out of motivation.
I'll accept checks <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
heh... I kid... sort of....
I am in the throes of working on some NS based websites. A fan-fiction one and a customisation one at the moment. Monster, my story Brobdingnagian and Gates, Moon and Stars by Ryo-Ohki will be the first stories hosted, with hopefully more quality NS fanfics included in the near future. A URL update will be released shortly, keep 'em peeled.
it is not real
stop reading it alreay!
it is not real
stop reading it alreay! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
I counter-bump
.... and I have no new chapter.... how long has it been? Sorry guys :\
but....................please please please post one sometime soon <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
.... and I have no new chapter.... how long has it been? Sorry guys :\ <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Sad to see it die...Good while it lasted. : ( We Wub our DeepShadows though.
I will re-read it soon (yup, I just read all 35 parts in one go) and post comments, if you wish.
By far the most interesting fan fic I have read so far, NS or no.
Keep up the good work!