Tales From The Mental Hospital

Xyth · June 2004

Haha, those were great. Made me think of "One flew over the cukoos nest"

Good stuff.

BeRzErKeR · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (SoulSkorpion @ Jun 9 2004, 03:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I didn't find any of it funny enough to laugh out loud, but I thoroughly enjoyed the read nonetheless.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
What he said. I rarely laugh out loud when reading something, but that was still funny as hell.

Sherry r0x0rz my b0x0rz.

pardzh · June 2004

Said it before and I'll say it again:

I <i>love</i> SA. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

CplDavis · June 2004

LOL that was good,

go to this one for further laughs gack gack gack

<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2181' target='_blank'>http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2181</a>

omg what a moron

Gliss · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (EEK @ Jun 8 2004, 08:46 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>All I could do now was listen and hope for the best. "Michael" Ken said. "I need to talk to you about this morning" "Ok" Michael replied. Ken then asked him “Did Mike tell you to throw those trays at Sandra?" Now was the moment of truth, and I had no idea what he was going to say. "Trays? I didn't throw any trays" he responded. "My C.O. called in an artillery strike on an enemy position" </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

This got me laughing so hard <img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Semper Fi! Do or die!

I was a little disappointed when it ended. I rarely ever laugh outloud at anything, but it was worth the read.

reasa · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>He took both trays and ran up to the MHA desk and screamed "Incoming!" and fired both trays over the counter onto an MHA named Sandra. He then dove to the floor and screamed "Semper Fi! Do or die!"</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

I want one of him.

Cold_NiTe · June 2004

Seems another guy went ahead and started his own thread to do with <a href='http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=990451' target='_blank'>his uncle's experiences with a Mental Health Facility.</a> However, for some reason, some people are freaking out and calling bluff on him, instead of sitting aback, propping their feet up, and enjoying a good story, true or not. This poster also writes rather well, especially towards the end methinks.

Monkfish · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (reasa @ Jun 10 2004, 01:15 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>He took both trays and ran up to the MHA desk and screamed "Incoming!" and fired both trays over the counter onto an MHA named Sandra. He then dove to the floor and screamed "Semper Fi! Do or die!"</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

I want one of him.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Seconded <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' />

Marine0I · June 2004

I felt a little sad honestly. They sound like truely screwed up, no life, no hope people. I mean people pay out computer hardcores, but these guys are the real bottom of the barrel.

Nasty, vidictive, aggresive, violent people with zero future, zero hope.

With that in mind, I kinda found it hard to enjoy it <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' />

BigMadSteve · June 2004

Man I was almost in tears reading some of that. Especially the Rollerpig and Micheal stories. Good stuff <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

Gliss · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Marine01 @ Jun 9 2004, 06:00 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I felt a little sad honestly. They sound like truely screwed up, no life, no hope people. I mean people pay out computer hardcores, but these guys are the real bottom of the barrel.

Nasty, vidictive, aggresive, violent people with zero future, zero hope.

With that in mind, I kinda found it hard to enjoy it <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
... what?

Infinitum · June 2004

He followed the Ghostbusters advice quite well.

"Ray, if somebody asks if you are a god. YOU SAY YES!"

TheSavior · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Sonic @ Jun 9 2004, 07:42 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (reasa @ Jun 10 2004, 01:15 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>He took both trays and ran up to the MHA desk and screamed "Incoming!" and fired both trays over the counter onto an MHA named Sandra. He then dove to the floor and screamed "Semper Fi! Do or die!"</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

I want one of him. </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
Seconded <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>is it just me, or does sherry sound like she'd be a GREAT lay?</td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

I want one of both.

Scinet · June 2004

If you want more hilarious stories, chech out the Tales from the Zoo, also in the SA Comedy Goldmine.

For the lazy among you, here are the direct links:
<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1377' target='_blank'>Part one</a>
<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1389' target='_blank'>Part two</a>
<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1426' target='_blank'>Part three</a>
<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=1502' target='_blank'>Part four</a>

Part one is just plain nuts, and especially the second story of it just cracks me every time. All come complete with MSPaint impressions of the events.

Nemesis_Zero · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Marine01 @ Jun 10 2004, 02:00 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I felt a little sad honestly. They sound like truely screwed up, no life, no hope people. I mean people pay out computer hardcores, but these guys are the real bottom of the barrel.

Nasty, vidictive, aggresive, violent people with zero future, zero hope.

With that in mind, I kinda found it hard to enjoy it <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' />  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Twelve months ago, I would've agreed, but since then, I worked in the field myself (note that Mike is absolutely right when he says that many of the professionals should switch benches), and found that many of the kinds of people he describes therein live actually quite happy lifes. Yes, you and me would consider many of the conditions under which they have to live horrible, but then, ask a 'jock' about his opinion of my life. Seeing that Mike is willing to laugh about his own screw-ups, as well, and that he treats the subjects of his story more or less fairly, i.e., doesn't insult them or exaggerate their actions, I could enjoy the stories. Be ceratin that the jokes the nurses told each other about each patient were far worse.

X_Stickman · June 2004

My mom used to work in a mental hostal and she used to take me along with her sometimes (not dangerously violent people, this was just for the people who thought there was literally a monster under their bed and stuff). I've seen quite a bit of weird stuff, and it's all funny as well, but rather sad at the same time.

There was a man who, at the dinner table, used to stand up and start screaming at his potatos, for one. No other food or drink, just potatos. He swore that they were insulting him, and he'd start insulting them back. But he was perfectly fine if there were no potatos around. And a woman who, if she saw milk, she had to drink it. All.

**EDIT**
I don't know why, but this thing keeps reminding me of Rage written by Stephen King (under the name Richard Bachman, but i think the book has also been called "Getting It On").

raz0r · June 2004

I really shouldn't find this funny

but i do <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

Monkfish · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (X_Stickman @ Jun 10 2004, 06:15 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> There was a man who, at the dinner table, used to stand up and start screaming at his potatos, for one. No other food or drink, just potatos. He swore that they were insulting him, and he'd start insulting them back. But he was perfectly fine if there were no potatos around.  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
oh god i cant stop laughing XD

SoulSkorpion · June 2004

Tales from the Zoo si teh bettar.

Josiah_Bartlet · June 2004

Threads like this were one of the reasons I forked over :10bux: to become a Goon.

I wonder how many goons there are on these forums...

Obst · June 2004

This may sound retarded, but:
What is a goon?
All those specific expressions.... I suck at english <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' />

Cold_NiTe · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Obst & Gemuese @ Jun 10 2004, 02:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> This may sound retarded, but:
What is a goon?
All those specific expressions.... I suck at english <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' />  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
Think "Constillation Member" but of <b>those</b> forums. And it has no bragging rights in any specific game, since it just gives you access to post in the SA forums.

Scinet · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Obst & Gemuese @ Jun 10 2004, 02:11 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> This may sound retarded, but:
What is a goon?
 </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
A goon is a stupid, but usually powerful minion doing the bidding of someone usually evil. The SA staff refer to all SA Forum members as goons. The practice started when someone, who got very irate because the SA Forum members flooded his site, mailed Lowtax saying something about "calling off his goons", and the term stuck.

Zig · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Josiah Bartlet @ Jun 10 2004, 10:49 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> Threads like this were one of the reasons I forked over :10bux: to become a Goon.

I wonder how many goons there are on these forums...  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
i just lurk there. haven't found a reason to post yet lol

Cold_NiTe · June 2004

My god, tales from the Zoo is bloody terrific. I think I won't ever forget this stuff;

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><b>"COVER YOUR MOUTH!!! IT'S TUBERCULOSIS!!!! RUN!!!"</b></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'>

Cyborgguineapig · June 2004

Ahaha I laughed out loud on every bit of it. I for one can exceptionally relate to this fellows stories as I have been in a hospital before. Comedy gold+ <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' />

RaVe · June 2004

LOL, somehow Sherry reminds me of my best friend (with WAAAY less swearing)

But it IS really funy hough.

"Semper Fi! Do Or Die!!"
Classic!

And I'm not supposed to find this funny, but I just do for some reason :\

Angelus · June 2004

</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (RaVe @ Jun 11 2004, 09:43 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> LOL, somehow Sherry reminds me of my best friend (with WAAAY less swearing)  </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> 
She sounds like someone i know aswell (cute, with a foul mouth... and a fairly bad temper)

Great read tho....

Tales From The Mental Hospital

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