A Love Letter I Gave To Someone
Cookiebooger
Join Date: 2005-01-07 Member: 33343Members
Join Date: 2005-01-07 Member: 33343Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">please let me know what you guys think=]</div> <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
I need you to show me the light to my darkness. I need you to reach under my soul and help me survive. I just wanted to talk to you about today. Well basically I'm not trying to do anything. It's your choice to like and dislike who ever you want. I know that I've told you how i feel about you. But i can't express it in words, neither hugs nor kisses. Id take a bullet for you just to reserve that spot for you at heaven. I'd drink that poison, let it rip my heart and soul out just for you. I'd go to war and come back for you no matter what happened to me. I'd love you until eternity. I'd cry you a river, I'd build you a garden, I'd love you as if I'd never get to see you again. You don't know what you do to me *****. If i had to choose between meeting you or God. I'd meet you because I could always meet God after death. I'm not trying to win you over, I'm not trying to rush things, nor am I trying to fhave u forget someone else and come to me and hurt them. The only thing I'm doing is showing you how much you mean to me. with out you i'd be nothing. I'll try my best not to go to war because i'd rather be with you then die with out you in my arms. whenever you leave you're all i think about. I'd never lie to you, I'd never cheat on you nor would I even EVER think about hurting you because if I were to hurt you then i'd be hurting my self. You are my life, you are my eyes, my hands, my arms, my legs. We'll walk together, we'll hold each other together, and we'll die together. you are a needle sized light. and when i see you smile more of this light enters my heart. i cant stop crying while i'm writing this, i need you and i want you. no one else means anything to me. i dont want to forget you because you belong in my eyes, my heart and my mind. if i were a book, you would be the only one to write in it, erase my pages, doodle in it, or do w/e you please because my pages are my heart and it belongs to you. I may seem greedy to keep you to my self, i only want to protect you from the bastards who want to hurt you and im not one of them. i'm not a begger, a convincer nor a praiser, i am your friend, your love, your first and your last. but this is all of your decision. you can choose to have anyone you want but choose wisley because I'll ALWAYS be there for you no matter what because i love you so deeply deeper than the ocean can bear. you mean the world to me and if i could buy you one, i'd name every day after a word you said to me and i'd cherrish what we've gotten because its a mariacle to be with you and to be around you. i want to be your first of your life and i want to be the last of your death. i dont deserve you, i dont see my self being with you because i dont know what i'd do if id hurt you and i know you wouldnt hurt me because i know that you'd regret it. my heart is yours for the taking, break it and you can fix it with your love and kisses, but only one thing misses, is your sweet gentle lips against mine while i wipe your tears after a cool midnight breeze. if i could spend a day with you id take you out to the park light candles and just stare at what God has given me and that's a mariacle. You are my one, you are my all. I need you more than ever because i belong with you, but i dont deserve what i have not worked for. you may like others who are not me, i will understand at your choice of wisdom, but know my heart will belong to you and you only because you are my first and you will be my last. i love you so much id take a bullet for you ANYTIME and come back from the dead and make sure no one hurts you. i am not perfect, nor am i the best. i am what you see. I am yours for the taking and you are mine for the loving. Sex and greed have left my heart and you have enlightend me with your gracious smile of perfection. I am no praiser, nor convincer, but i am a man to be loved because i can not live with out someone as great as you. please respond =] you are my life, you are the house of my mind and you are the last of my life. I love you with all of my heart. Nor can these words express what i mean. I must show you with a simple pleasure of seeing you.
I love you my sweet. I'll always be there for u =]
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Please guys and girls, Please let me know what you think of it. What you would do or say if YOU were to recieve this =] AND DON'T COMMENT ME ON MY GRAMMER OR SENTENCE STRUCTURE <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I need you to show me the light to my darkness. I need you to reach under my soul and help me survive. I just wanted to talk to you about today. Well basically I'm not trying to do anything. It's your choice to like and dislike who ever you want. I know that I've told you how i feel about you. But i can't express it in words, neither hugs nor kisses. Id take a bullet for you just to reserve that spot for you at heaven. I'd drink that poison, let it rip my heart and soul out just for you. I'd go to war and come back for you no matter what happened to me. I'd love you until eternity. I'd cry you a river, I'd build you a garden, I'd love you as if I'd never get to see you again. You don't know what you do to me *****. If i had to choose between meeting you or God. I'd meet you because I could always meet God after death. I'm not trying to win you over, I'm not trying to rush things, nor am I trying to fhave u forget someone else and come to me and hurt them. The only thing I'm doing is showing you how much you mean to me. with out you i'd be nothing. I'll try my best not to go to war because i'd rather be with you then die with out you in my arms. whenever you leave you're all i think about. I'd never lie to you, I'd never cheat on you nor would I even EVER think about hurting you because if I were to hurt you then i'd be hurting my self. You are my life, you are my eyes, my hands, my arms, my legs. We'll walk together, we'll hold each other together, and we'll die together. you are a needle sized light. and when i see you smile more of this light enters my heart. i cant stop crying while i'm writing this, i need you and i want you. no one else means anything to me. i dont want to forget you because you belong in my eyes, my heart and my mind. if i were a book, you would be the only one to write in it, erase my pages, doodle in it, or do w/e you please because my pages are my heart and it belongs to you. I may seem greedy to keep you to my self, i only want to protect you from the bastards who want to hurt you and im not one of them. i'm not a begger, a convincer nor a praiser, i am your friend, your love, your first and your last. but this is all of your decision. you can choose to have anyone you want but choose wisley because I'll ALWAYS be there for you no matter what because i love you so deeply deeper than the ocean can bear. you mean the world to me and if i could buy you one, i'd name every day after a word you said to me and i'd cherrish what we've gotten because its a mariacle to be with you and to be around you. i want to be your first of your life and i want to be the last of your death. i dont deserve you, i dont see my self being with you because i dont know what i'd do if id hurt you and i know you wouldnt hurt me because i know that you'd regret it. my heart is yours for the taking, break it and you can fix it with your love and kisses, but only one thing misses, is your sweet gentle lips against mine while i wipe your tears after a cool midnight breeze. if i could spend a day with you id take you out to the park light candles and just stare at what God has given me and that's a mariacle. You are my one, you are my all. I need you more than ever because i belong with you, but i dont deserve what i have not worked for. you may like others who are not me, i will understand at your choice of wisdom, but know my heart will belong to you and you only because you are my first and you will be my last. i love you so much id take a bullet for you ANYTIME and come back from the dead and make sure no one hurts you. i am not perfect, nor am i the best. i am what you see. I am yours for the taking and you are mine for the loving. Sex and greed have left my heart and you have enlightend me with your gracious smile of perfection. I am no praiser, nor convincer, but i am a man to be loved because i can not live with out someone as great as you. please respond =] you are my life, you are the house of my mind and you are the last of my life. I love you with all of my heart. Nor can these words express what i mean. I must show you with a simple pleasure of seeing you.
I love you my sweet. I'll always be there for u =]
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Please guys and girls, Please let me know what you think of it. What you would do or say if YOU were to recieve this =] AND DON'T COMMENT ME ON MY GRAMMER OR SENTENCE STRUCTURE <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Comments
I mean I hope whoever you have sent this to is a little more then a friend to you, or it might come to them as a shock, but wherever it takes you best of luck.
EDIT
Which parts did you like the most? :o
I can't explain my love for you in words. Now I will proceed to explain my love for you in words: cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché, no paragraph break, cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché cliché, cliché. And that's why I love you. In words. Which I can't find to describe my love for you.
If I received this, I think I'd feel "blech".
I don't mean to offend here: you asked what readers would think of it, so I'm telling you what I personally think when I see it.
It doesn't give the note a sense of genuine feeling. I'm not twitterpated, so the words mean less to me: I imagine they'd mean a lot more if I was infatuated with someone. But still... eh, I don't think I'd like this. I'm too much of a nitpicker, though.
Girls love to be wanted and hate to be needed.
If I was a chick, you would have lost me at hello.
I am NOWHERE near as good as him.
Here is a poem I wrote for her as well.
Roses
You're the rose in my garden
Blooms and shatters
My dreams are worthless
With out these roses
So open up wide
Let me smell your wonders
Let me bloom others like you
And let me spread the word
That I have a garden like you.
This is copyrighted so you can't edit it. Sorry.
I doubt you spent thirty bucks to register that with the Library of Congress.
Seriously dude, think before posting.
Seriously dude, think before posting. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Every work is automatically copyrighted upon "creation". Submitting the work to the Copyright Office is for the purpose of proving the copyright.
Also: Some girls *do* like being needed along with being wanted. However, to take it to that degree is a little.. disturbing? Love is good. Dependence is a bit much.
like
hey you know what would look good on you? Me!11
You have way to many similar remarks in your letter, your trying to flatter her but imo your trying way to damn hard and in all honesty if i was a girl and read that i would get as far away from you as I could, you sound like a serial stalker after reading that letter, just write something alittle more casual and tell the truth, use your own words not random sayings threwout the whole letter.
I am NOWHERE near as good as him.
Here is a poem I wrote for her as well.
Roses
You're the rose in my garden
Blooms and shatters
My dreams are worthless
With out these roses
So open up wide
Let me smell your wonders
Let me bloom others like you
And let me spread the word
That I have a garden like you.
This is copyrighted so you can't edit it. Sorry. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
dude that poem isnt charming from what i see. it sounds like a depressive attampt, the words show no emotion, but just lust , the fact you seem to blame her for your emotions of being alone adds to the depressivness of the poem, your making it sound like you need her like a drug to please yourself more than her.
thats how i see it <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
the letter was nice, but it sounded very begging at some parts, others were sweet. I can see the emotion in it .
if you wish to make a more entrancing poem try to think more positively even if its about yoru dreams..
Example
In my mind, In my dreams, your there
In my heart In my soul you lay
Your gentle touch your soft eyes
The butterflies I get when I think of you
The thought of being with you
To touch your body To stroke your hair
To kiss those lips To gaze in your eyes
To hold you close to hear your heart
To hear that beat which slays my soul
To lay beside your body holdig you near
To feel your arms holding me tight
Stroking your face and holding you hands
The sheer thought makes my stomach dance
To hear your voice to hear your heart
Say those words which will ever part
The Binding love the close affections
like a thornless rose you are perfect
Your beautiful face your charming laugh
Your gentle hands and strong arms
Binding us closer together to never part
Bound in eachothers arms blockig everything out
everything but eachother and our love
To lay my head upon your chest
To feel this soothing rythem I can hear
To fall asleep to only see you more
To repeat what we did together
To wake up next to you and know your there
My heart could wish for nothing else more
Than to be with you forever
another example
my heart entwined with eternal love
such nobility and faith written in ones soul
eager to please your needs and wants
willing to look into the eyes of her true love
one glance into your warm eyes calms me
my heart spills and my soul melts for you
if theres such thing as heaven with you it is
if there was such thing as god, you are mine
beautiful like the flower so gentle
thorns guard you but you open yourself to me
Noone else may see the beauty i see in you
For you have not opened up to them
but you have to me and you are beautiful
you are perfect and loving your heart is gentle
and so are your hands, treating me like your flower
scared to break it, scared to hurt it, caressing it gently
indeed such a perfect being as you i am lucky to have
wether i deserved you or not i am glad you chose me
for my life wants time to hold still whilst with you
for every second i am with you it is heaven
nothing feels wrong when i am with you and nothing can go wrong
my heart is always yours, forever it shall be
for my heart wants noone else, my eyes locked in yours
i dont want the key to unlock my eyes from yours
for your gaze is warm and loving it makes me feel warm
nothing else could make me feel the way i do when i am with you
nothing is better than when im in your arms
when you kiss my lips my heart jumps a beat
and when you hold me close i feel safe
you are perfect to me and you are handsome and loving
when your angry i want to make you happy
and even though i know you are angry i cant help but love you more
for my love for you is so deep i dont fear your anger but accept it
because you are everything to me and i would die for you
my eyes shall not meet anyone elses like they meet yours
I would want nothing more in my life than to be with you
To be in your arms forever, to kiss you and hold you
to return the pleasure you give to me
and to return the happiness you bring me
you are who i truly love and i always shall
seriously your poem didnt really show much emotion nor time put into the poem. you need your full emotions to write a poem to mean what you really feel and really mean. And for the poem to actually say that you care about them, not that your deprived and begging for them or blaming them for your pain or saddened dreams.
I have to agree with this. It just seems way too... childish.
Think contemporary terms man.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->My dreams are worthless<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Let me say this: That line could have been from me.
It stands bright as an example for the depressing mood you create in all your written stuff presented here.
Sorry, but these works express anything but love (+the whole letter is too long).
But hey who knows, perhaps your girl is into such stuff.. who knows.
I mean, there are even girls liking my poems <.<
from what i can tell you dont know this girl all that well? dont ya think this is a little overwhelming?
I still say a face-2-face would be better.
He happens to be very good at treading water. He can only escape by climbing up the ladder. The pipe has a metal covering preventing him from climbing into it.
You have a lever in your hand. When you are not acting force upon the lever, no water is expelled. You can pull the lever to allow water to flow into the room. The harder you pull, the greater the force and volume of water will be expelled at once.
<img src='http://img110.echo.cx/img110/273/piperoom12br.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
You have the man's best interests at heart. He wants to escape the room. If you do not pull the lever, he will die from starvation. He can only tread water for a certain amount of time until he will drown.
The next picture is quite graphic, so I give you forewarning.
This is what you very well could have done:
<img src='http://img110.echo.cx/img110/2752/piperoom22aa.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
Now, compare this scenario to you and this girl. The water is your emotions. She is the man (haw haw) and you are the one with the lever in your hand. The ladder escape route is "happily ever after".
He happens to be very good at treading water. He can only escape by climbing up the ladder. The pipe has a metal covering preventing him from climbing into it.
You have a lever in your hand. When you are not acting force upon the lever, no water is expelled. You can pull the lever to allow water to flow into the room. The harder you pull, the greater the force and volume of water will be expelled at once.
<img src='http://img110.echo.cx/img110/273/piperoom12br.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
You have the man's best interests at heart. He wants to escape the room. If you do not pull the lever, he will die from starvation. He can only tread water for a certain amount of time until he will drown.
The next picture is quite graphic, so I give you forewarning.
This is what you very well could have done:
<img src='http://img110.echo.cx/img110/2752/piperoom22aa.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
Now, compare this scenario to you and this girl. The water is your emotions. She is the man (haw haw) and you are the one with the lever in your hand. The ladder escape route is "happily ever after". <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
W T F?
Im lost <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Honestly, I'd say go face to face as well. If you're going to write a love letter or a poem, you'd have to do it without sounding like a depressed person who depends on people.
It never ends pretty with letters like that, which is simply the reason why I don't do stuff like that <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
OOOWWWW MY EYES! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!! <!--emo&:angry:--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/mad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='mad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I like Coleman's diagrams,they hurt my eyes less and also show his potential for a web artist. Or a Flash designer. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
It doesn't give the note a sense of genuine feeling. I'm not twitterpated, so the words mean less to me: I imagine they'd mean a lot more if I was infatuated with someone. But still... eh, I don't think I'd like this. I'm too much of a nitpicker, though.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You're not a girl <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
unless . . . OH GOD. OH MY DEAR GOD.
He happens to be very good at treading water. He can only escape by climbing up the ladder. The pipe has a metal covering preventing him from climbing into it.
You have a lever in your hand. When you are not acting force upon the lever, no water is expelled. You can pull the lever to allow water to flow into the room. The harder you pull, the greater the force and volume of water will be expelled at once.
<img src='http://img110.echo.cx/img110/273/piperoom12br.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
You have the man's best interests at heart. He wants to escape the room. If you do not pull the lever, he will die from starvation. He can only tread water for a certain amount of time until he will drown.
The next picture is quite graphic, so I give you forewarning.
This is what you very well could have done:
<img src='http://img110.echo.cx/img110/2752/piperoom22aa.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
Now, compare this scenario to you and this girl. The water is your emotions. She is the man (haw haw) and you are the one with the lever in your hand. The ladder escape route is "happily ever after". <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah I don't get it neither <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Well this is the thing. She likes poetry, she likes me <sorta> and i like her like her. She means a lot to me but i guess that was a waste of my night since she likes someone else now because she can talk to him on the phone about anything? wth screw her.
As for the openining post (not that it matters now i guess) it just sounds kinda scary. I'd go with athena's view of 'short and sweet' buuuut then again I'm not really a poetry kinda person I guess. Nothing beats rl flirting if you ask me :3
Roses are red, Violets are blue
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