Reestablishing Rhetoric And Etiquette
Dessidious_Confuzor
Join Date: 2004-11-05 Member: 32637Members
Join Date: 2004-11-05 Member: 32637Members
<div class="IPBDescription">[Flash Advertisement Included]</div> <a href='http://www3.telus.net/confuzor/Rev.html' target='_blank'>A visual treatise over the current state of the Internet</a>. - <b>Rated R for profanity, disturbing imagery, and possible retardation. Viewer discretion is advised.</b>
The following document can be found in its unaltered Word format <a href='http://www3.telus.net/confuzor/Rev.doc' target='_blank'>here</a>.
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'><b><u>Confuzor’s Reactionary Movement to the Reestablishment of Rhetoric and Etiquette</span></u></b>
<b><u><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Proclamation:</span></u></b>
Unto the infidels who repent not for their transgressions against vernacular decorum, let not your swords show mercy as the lesson of steel lacerates their uncouth tongues. For the mercy of Confuzor was bequeathed to the infidels, but they refused and continued with their debauchery. The sanguine ichor that will fill their lungs will be of their own doing.
<i>– Confuzor, Arch-Propagadalf to Supreme Amphigorist (INCOGNITO)</i>
Our society today is privileged in ways vastly beyond that of our plebeian ancestors. The common people of such times were bereft of the opportunities we have today: abundant viands, dapper attire, and most notably of all, Internet.
The Internet should have been an utmost elaborate tool in the enlightening of its users. When deftly handled, such enlightenment is still attainable, though with increasing difficulty. In its infancy, the form of Internet lay pristine.
And now? Now, it has been repeatedly defiled by mongoloid barbarians who secrete their excrement. We have yet to find ones among the intelligentsia class who dare to administrate justice upon the wanton hooligans
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
<i>– Edmund Burke</i>
<u><b><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>The Five Ways of the Mongoloid:</span></u></b>
<b><u>Article I</u></b>
“ENGLISH, ****! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?”
<i>– Jules Winnfield</i>
While the tongue of ‘One-thousand, Three Hundred, Thirty-Seven’ and English exhibit signs of decadence in writ, it is not the problem itself. Granted, I have no qualms with the tongue of ‘One-thousand, Three Hundred, Thirty-Seven’ when used by true practitioners of hacking, for their path requires a knowledge and usage of their native tongue. However, no other individual need use of it. By the hordes, slothful miscreants have since adopted this language and drenched it as pejorative tongue through their acts of idiocy. Not content to bastardize one language, they now move on towards raping modern English with their Neanderthal antics. Their encroachment of the Internet has oft made refugees of the intelligentsia class, as they flee to find solace from the stupidity of the cancerous mass.
The advantage that can be seen in this movement is that the truly incorrigible of these ignoramuses have by now been so entwined by the ‘One-thousand, Three Hundred, Thirty-Seven’ tongue that their capability to actually utilize proper English is too arduous a feat for them. As such, it provides a relatively basic, but effective filter in segregating the mongoloids from the civilized class under the Revolution.
<b><u>Article II</u></b>
Granted, the ability to merely utilize the English language is by no means a clear indication of intelligence in an individual. The derelict state of the Internet is not simply isolated to the putrefaction of form, but extends to substance as well. Idioms are of one matter, but barbaric, unrefined catchphrases are another. Their pitiful attempts for humour perhaps succeed at first, but repeated abuse of such phrases begins to grow weary. Rather than receding however, the reprobate classes deny these witless phrases the opportunity for apoptosis. This unrestrained plague thus spreads, battering the Internet with further blows of idiocy.
<b><u>Article III</u></b>
“To learn without thinking is unavailing; to think without learning is dangerous.”
<i>– Kong Qiu</i>
a) An opinion holds little significance if one refuses to provide adequate support for their thesis. If the task of providing reasoning to your conjectures confronts you with insurmountable difficulty, perhaps one should re-evaluate their conjectures as to better cultivate them.
Simultaneously I request, nay, <i><b>demand</b></i> that one shut the **** up.
b) In the myriad of opinions and statements that abound the Internet, I care not for your agreement with such and such opinion. The fact that your opinion matches that of venerated ‘X’ individual does not make your agreement any more significant. Compliment “X” with his or her insights if you wish, but the bleating agreement from sheep will not be tolerated. Those failing to make utilization of the cerebrum shall be forced to ‘donate’ them with the conclusion of the Revolution.
<b><u>Article IV</u></b>
Agreeing to the old adage that a picture is worth a thousand words, one notes that the posting of a single message can hold great expression, captivating the viewer. When such an image is constantly abused however, one sees verbosity replace wit. The image synonymously entitled: “Upon all occasions: when one self-stimulates one’s genitalia to achieve sexual gratification, <i>Deus</i> shall smote a weaning feline” has by now, lost its lustre in humour. Cease abusing it, and all related images.
Continual violators will have their retinas purged under the Revolution.
<b><u>Article V</u></b>
I understand that some rapscallions intentionally feign a mongoloid façade in attempts to disrupt harmony and ruse communities to discontent. You brood of vipers! How will you escape the condemnation to perdition? The un-jaded sages waste their time trying to correct your manners only to find that they have been fooled. As such, I do the sages a favour by seeing your kind subject to conflagration. The Revolution will make no distinction between the genuine stupid and those who feign stupidity.
<b><u><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Rally of Retribution:</span></u></b>
“In making tactical dispositions, the highest pitch you can attain is to conceal them.”
<i>– Sun Tzu</i>
The task of initiating the Revolution will clearly be an arduous one in consideration of our position as a minority. Thus, the initiation of the Rally of Retribution must be done in utmost secrecy. Now I understand that you must now be questioning my intellect that I would be so rash to proclaim this revolution so publicly, in plain sight to all the foes Revolution? While one is often told never underestimate an enemy, the enemy at hand among us is unique; one in which it would be foolhardy to <i><b>overestimate</b></i> them. I would be so bold as to estimate that after the first sentence of this proclamation, the mongoloid masses would have already tired of what they would presume as aimless bantering. The remainder of the enemy that has read up to this sentence is then, too few in number that advantage is blessed on our side.
The strategic plans is as follows:
<b><u>Phase I</u></b>
As the imperium of the forums lies in the hands of the administrators, the natural course of direction is to befriend them. Always seek the opportunity in which administrators require any sort of aid. Your loyalty to them will ensure that they will indebted to you.
I must strongly caution that due to our disposition, one may easily fall into the trap of boasting intellectual superiority.
“The fool who knows his foolishness, is wise at least so far. But a fool who thinks himself wise, he is called a fool indeed.”
<i>– The Teachings of Buddha</i>
Arrogance will only hinder our bonds with the administrators.
Those exhibiting arrogance will be excommunicated and be considered enemies against the Revolution.
<b><u>Phase II</u></b>
Understandably, the process of bonding with the administrators will require perseverance. During this time, our secondary task is to closely monitor the forums and make note of dissidents who commonly froth with stupidity. This observation may be painful, but it is required for the drafting of a proscription list in preparation of their demise.
Make note also of those congenial and skilled in mind, extending your friendship to them, and speaking to them of the Revolution. If they are truly wise and noble, they will know that the Revolution is of a good cause and will gladly follow.
<b><u>Phase III</u></b>
Once one has obtained the trust of the administrators, and with the support of any of the wise you have befriended, submit to the administrators the proscription list, demanding that those among the list be banned for the sake of harmony of the forum fabric. With their favour vested upon you, the administrators should gladly acquiesce your request and see to it that the vermin be expelled from the forums.
If the administrators block your motion to see the vermin banned, kindly remind them of the aid and friendship that you have dedicated to them. Will not a friend fulfill the humble request of one so loyal? Kindly persuade them to follow your advice. If however, they would dare to affront your demands with insolence, shake the dust from your feet and leave that forum. For I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah than on the day of reckoning than for that forum. Depart from the forums with your intelligentsia companions, penning the corrupt forum to the Lexicon of the Damned.
<b><u>Phase IV</u></b>
Met either by failure or success, continue the revolution through the various forums of the Internet, blessing those that adhere to your call in the Lexicon of the Pure, and placing those that reject your word the Lexicon of the Damned. The ultimate goal is the total segregation of the mongoloids from the clerisy. In three years time, we as the Revolutionaries shall convene and consolidate our knowledge to know the fruitful forums from the forums of chaff. As a united collective, we will uphold the ban of the mongolids from the righteous forums, The stupid will be forced to flock to find solace in the forums listed as Damned. Without an equilibrium horribly skewed by the influx of the stupid, these accursed forums will no doubt implode within a generation’s time. In such a way, we shall greatly depopulate the fools and finally be entitled to homelands fit for the intelligentsia.
Vive la revolution!
The following document can be found in its unaltered Word format <a href='http://www3.telus.net/confuzor/Rev.doc' target='_blank'>here</a>.
<span style='font-size:21pt;line-height:100%'><b><u>Confuzor’s Reactionary Movement to the Reestablishment of Rhetoric and Etiquette</span></u></b>
<b><u><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Proclamation:</span></u></b>
Unto the infidels who repent not for their transgressions against vernacular decorum, let not your swords show mercy as the lesson of steel lacerates their uncouth tongues. For the mercy of Confuzor was bequeathed to the infidels, but they refused and continued with their debauchery. The sanguine ichor that will fill their lungs will be of their own doing.
<i>– Confuzor, Arch-Propagadalf to Supreme Amphigorist (INCOGNITO)</i>
Our society today is privileged in ways vastly beyond that of our plebeian ancestors. The common people of such times were bereft of the opportunities we have today: abundant viands, dapper attire, and most notably of all, Internet.
The Internet should have been an utmost elaborate tool in the enlightening of its users. When deftly handled, such enlightenment is still attainable, though with increasing difficulty. In its infancy, the form of Internet lay pristine.
And now? Now, it has been repeatedly defiled by mongoloid barbarians who secrete their excrement. We have yet to find ones among the intelligentsia class who dare to administrate justice upon the wanton hooligans
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
<i>– Edmund Burke</i>
<u><b><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>The Five Ways of the Mongoloid:</span></u></b>
<b><u>Article I</u></b>
“ENGLISH, ****! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?”
<i>– Jules Winnfield</i>
While the tongue of ‘One-thousand, Three Hundred, Thirty-Seven’ and English exhibit signs of decadence in writ, it is not the problem itself. Granted, I have no qualms with the tongue of ‘One-thousand, Three Hundred, Thirty-Seven’ when used by true practitioners of hacking, for their path requires a knowledge and usage of their native tongue. However, no other individual need use of it. By the hordes, slothful miscreants have since adopted this language and drenched it as pejorative tongue through their acts of idiocy. Not content to bastardize one language, they now move on towards raping modern English with their Neanderthal antics. Their encroachment of the Internet has oft made refugees of the intelligentsia class, as they flee to find solace from the stupidity of the cancerous mass.
The advantage that can be seen in this movement is that the truly incorrigible of these ignoramuses have by now been so entwined by the ‘One-thousand, Three Hundred, Thirty-Seven’ tongue that their capability to actually utilize proper English is too arduous a feat for them. As such, it provides a relatively basic, but effective filter in segregating the mongoloids from the civilized class under the Revolution.
<b><u>Article II</u></b>
Granted, the ability to merely utilize the English language is by no means a clear indication of intelligence in an individual. The derelict state of the Internet is not simply isolated to the putrefaction of form, but extends to substance as well. Idioms are of one matter, but barbaric, unrefined catchphrases are another. Their pitiful attempts for humour perhaps succeed at first, but repeated abuse of such phrases begins to grow weary. Rather than receding however, the reprobate classes deny these witless phrases the opportunity for apoptosis. This unrestrained plague thus spreads, battering the Internet with further blows of idiocy.
<b><u>Article III</u></b>
“To learn without thinking is unavailing; to think without learning is dangerous.”
<i>– Kong Qiu</i>
a) An opinion holds little significance if one refuses to provide adequate support for their thesis. If the task of providing reasoning to your conjectures confronts you with insurmountable difficulty, perhaps one should re-evaluate their conjectures as to better cultivate them.
Simultaneously I request, nay, <i><b>demand</b></i> that one shut the **** up.
b) In the myriad of opinions and statements that abound the Internet, I care not for your agreement with such and such opinion. The fact that your opinion matches that of venerated ‘X’ individual does not make your agreement any more significant. Compliment “X” with his or her insights if you wish, but the bleating agreement from sheep will not be tolerated. Those failing to make utilization of the cerebrum shall be forced to ‘donate’ them with the conclusion of the Revolution.
<b><u>Article IV</u></b>
Agreeing to the old adage that a picture is worth a thousand words, one notes that the posting of a single message can hold great expression, captivating the viewer. When such an image is constantly abused however, one sees verbosity replace wit. The image synonymously entitled: “Upon all occasions: when one self-stimulates one’s genitalia to achieve sexual gratification, <i>Deus</i> shall smote a weaning feline” has by now, lost its lustre in humour. Cease abusing it, and all related images.
Continual violators will have their retinas purged under the Revolution.
<b><u>Article V</u></b>
I understand that some rapscallions intentionally feign a mongoloid façade in attempts to disrupt harmony and ruse communities to discontent. You brood of vipers! How will you escape the condemnation to perdition? The un-jaded sages waste their time trying to correct your manners only to find that they have been fooled. As such, I do the sages a favour by seeing your kind subject to conflagration. The Revolution will make no distinction between the genuine stupid and those who feign stupidity.
<b><u><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>Rally of Retribution:</span></u></b>
“In making tactical dispositions, the highest pitch you can attain is to conceal them.”
<i>– Sun Tzu</i>
The task of initiating the Revolution will clearly be an arduous one in consideration of our position as a minority. Thus, the initiation of the Rally of Retribution must be done in utmost secrecy. Now I understand that you must now be questioning my intellect that I would be so rash to proclaim this revolution so publicly, in plain sight to all the foes Revolution? While one is often told never underestimate an enemy, the enemy at hand among us is unique; one in which it would be foolhardy to <i><b>overestimate</b></i> them. I would be so bold as to estimate that after the first sentence of this proclamation, the mongoloid masses would have already tired of what they would presume as aimless bantering. The remainder of the enemy that has read up to this sentence is then, too few in number that advantage is blessed on our side.
The strategic plans is as follows:
<b><u>Phase I</u></b>
As the imperium of the forums lies in the hands of the administrators, the natural course of direction is to befriend them. Always seek the opportunity in which administrators require any sort of aid. Your loyalty to them will ensure that they will indebted to you.
I must strongly caution that due to our disposition, one may easily fall into the trap of boasting intellectual superiority.
“The fool who knows his foolishness, is wise at least so far. But a fool who thinks himself wise, he is called a fool indeed.”
<i>– The Teachings of Buddha</i>
Arrogance will only hinder our bonds with the administrators.
Those exhibiting arrogance will be excommunicated and be considered enemies against the Revolution.
<b><u>Phase II</u></b>
Understandably, the process of bonding with the administrators will require perseverance. During this time, our secondary task is to closely monitor the forums and make note of dissidents who commonly froth with stupidity. This observation may be painful, but it is required for the drafting of a proscription list in preparation of their demise.
Make note also of those congenial and skilled in mind, extending your friendship to them, and speaking to them of the Revolution. If they are truly wise and noble, they will know that the Revolution is of a good cause and will gladly follow.
<b><u>Phase III</u></b>
Once one has obtained the trust of the administrators, and with the support of any of the wise you have befriended, submit to the administrators the proscription list, demanding that those among the list be banned for the sake of harmony of the forum fabric. With their favour vested upon you, the administrators should gladly acquiesce your request and see to it that the vermin be expelled from the forums.
If the administrators block your motion to see the vermin banned, kindly remind them of the aid and friendship that you have dedicated to them. Will not a friend fulfill the humble request of one so loyal? Kindly persuade them to follow your advice. If however, they would dare to affront your demands with insolence, shake the dust from your feet and leave that forum. For I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah than on the day of reckoning than for that forum. Depart from the forums with your intelligentsia companions, penning the corrupt forum to the Lexicon of the Damned.
<b><u>Phase IV</u></b>
Met either by failure or success, continue the revolution through the various forums of the Internet, blessing those that adhere to your call in the Lexicon of the Pure, and placing those that reject your word the Lexicon of the Damned. The ultimate goal is the total segregation of the mongoloids from the clerisy. In three years time, we as the Revolutionaries shall convene and consolidate our knowledge to know the fruitful forums from the forums of chaff. As a united collective, we will uphold the ban of the mongolids from the righteous forums, The stupid will be forced to flock to find solace in the forums listed as Damned. Without an equilibrium horribly skewed by the influx of the stupid, these accursed forums will no doubt implode within a generation’s time. In such a way, we shall greatly depopulate the fools and finally be entitled to homelands fit for the intelligentsia.
Vive la revolution!
Comments
Honestly. Shut up if you can't contribute anything, people. If you don't like the thread, THEN LEAVE. On second thought, I know a secret for deleting threads you don't like. First, click on the text in the upper-left corner that says "Log Out", then press Alt+F4, uninstall your browser, reinstall it and burn your eyes out with bleach. There. Thread gone, and your worthless, unfunny, downright stupid comments, too.
(This wasn't directed to the thread starter, by the way. I thought that the post was funny. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> )
Not you. At least you didn't say something completely random and stupid, at least it had some relevance. I'm just sick and tired of people who get threads locked because they feel the need to inform everyone at every chance they get that they enjoy wearing their sister's underwear backwards, inside-out and over their pants.
Gold. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
The threat MUST be stopped!
*Pulls out laundry list*
CHRONO is a <s>communist</s> MONGOLOID!
TYRAIN is a MONGOLOID!
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Hey Nemesis Zero. I think you're the best Admin we've ever had! Keep up the good work! By the way, we're both germans, so we gotta stick together, right? So... could you ban this guy? He offends me with his poor spelling.
With the kindest of greetings
lolfighter<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Seriously, how do you think that would go over? I think the best option available to you would be to "shake the dust from your feet and leave that forum."
does any one else now label Dessidious Confuzor as part of the group of people that he is railing against?
oooo, look, I can use big words!
And I can make snapy flash animations!
I see no difference between being stuck up and being l33t, the only difference is the language.
Instead of ussing l33t he usses words like mongoloid. A word that is considered offensive and crude by most educated people.
meh, I smell a lock. (disregard to forum rules and such)
<span style='color:#041e2d'> <M3554G3 B3G1N5>
Fr0m: 4g3n7 50ul5k0rp10n
70: <cl4551f13d>
0MG d00d,
73h 3n3my h4v3 r3v34l3d 7h3 c0mpl373 pl4n5 f0r 7h31r m0v3 4g41n57 u5. th3r3 15 571ll 71m3 70 d34l w17h 7h15 n3w 7hr347 wh1l3 17 15 1n 7h15 34rly 574g3, bu7 w3 mu57 4c7 500n t0 4v01d b31ng pwn3d. 71m3 15 0f 7h3 3553nc3, 50 1 4m tr4n5m1771ng 7h15 m3554g3 0v3r 4n un53cur3 ch4nn3l, bu7 h0p3fully 7h3y w1ll n0t h4x0r t3h 3ncrypt10n.
w17h l337,
50ul5k0rp10n.
<M3554G3 3ND5></span>
does any one else now label Dessidious Confuzor as part of the group of people that he is railing against? <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I thought he was joking...
<!--QuoteBegin-lolfighter+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (lolfighter)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Seriously, how do you think that would go over? I think the best option available to you would be to "shake the dust from your feet and leave that forum."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You do yourself an injustice, lolly. You could charm the scales off a snake in sixty syllables or so!
does any one else now label Dessidious Confuzor as part of the group of people that he is railing against? <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I thought he was joking... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
if he is, then the boy has WAY to much free time on his hands (either way he does <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->)
Oh, and soul ftw!
*EDIT* Good we're not. Thank god.
*EDIT* Good we're not. Thank god. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
/me raises hand
Oh I'm sure there's a way. But confuzor never even made a plan on how to kill all the "Mongoloids" of the Internet. The term itself is distasteful, since it was a vulgar way to refer to the deformed and mentally handicapped of society and yet it fits if you apply it to certain people on the Internet.
In any case, I had a massive chat on a channel I frequent about how to banish their kind.
I at least try to not be too much like the "mongoloids".
Oh, you came <b>so</b> close to dislodging Testament in my sig. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Yeah, I'm gonna switch it.
Now that's an image I didn't want in my head.