Ns Short Stories

DoZ3RDoZ3R Join Date: 2004-06-10 Member: 29224Members
<div class="IPBDescription">too lazy to make a full one :P</div> He ran. He ran for his life, he ran from his fears. All he knew was fear.

"Carlos!!! Wait up!!!!" He heard a female voice behind him. She was scared, he didn't blame her.

He turned quickly to see three four legged creatures, closing in on her. Their teeth glistened, there legs, each tipped with blades, ran faster than he had ever seen before.

"Mellissa!!! DUCK!!!" He screamed.

A shaky but quick hand shot to his holster and withdrew a pistol, standard issue among all officers, and raised the perfectly polished barrel at one of the creatures. The shining cylinder let loose a barrage of bullets, accurately hitting each of the aliens three times. Green blood showered the floor, and Mellissa. Carlos almost dropped his gun before he saw one of the skulks move. Red eyes focused on him, he raised his barrel and pulled the trigger.

Comments

  • DoZ3RDoZ3R Join Date: 2004-06-10 Member: 29224Members
    edited February 2005
    Hey guys, figured I would post some shorties. Too lazy to write up a whole one right now. I will definately get into the backstories and why they were running, the whole point was to start in the middle <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    GG SKULX!!!!

    EDIT: c+c plz... all grammer errors and stuff would be great, as i cant see em, they be cloacked...
  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members
    you got a good start. your story is very descriptive. the action is also good but it is currently too short for me to give constructive critisism. i shall see the next chapter to decide whether it is a good one.
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