The Weekly

twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
<div class="IPBDescription">Maintaining Britain's Standards</div> <a href='http://theweekly.co.uk/' target='_blank'>http://theweekly.co.uk/</a>

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<i>"Sir:

I'm a businessman. I move with the times. At the start of the year, I put my company online. Almost immediately, I began receiving "spam" - persistent, unsolicited, anonymous junk mail promoting illegal pyramid schemes, or disturbing, explicit solicitations. I attempted to have my name removed from these lists, but the pledges to honour these requests were simple lies. So I had one of my smartest employees trace the "spammers" then sent a couple of my guys around to kill them, shoot their families and burn down their homes. Forget about it.

Francis Feroccio
Penthouse suite, the company hotel"</i>

Comments

  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    Forum demographic duly noted, will endeavour to never link to anything away from this forum unless it's a flash movie featuring Japanese songs with mono-syllabic lyrics.

    Because they're really funny!
  • MonkfishMonkfish Sonic-boom-inducing buttcheeks of terrifying speed&#33; Join Date: 2003-06-03 Member: 16972Members
    <i>The pound is up 5.2 against the hunched mutterings of an unfamiliar man concealing a damaged leather bag of sandy rabbits. </i>

    Get in! <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    Ace site!

    Apparently, my surname means <i>"Satan</i>"... <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Deep down, I always knew.
  • ShockehShockeh If a packet drops on the web and nobody&#39;s near to see it... Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9336NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Oct 26 2004, 11:23 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Oct 26 2004, 11:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Forum demographic duly noted, will endeavour to never link to anything away from this forum unless it's a flash movie featuring Japanese songs with mono-syllabic lyrics.

    Because they're really funny! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    twoflow, may I have your superior robot man-babies? Incidentally, I'd like to once again point out blaming my good self for your complete inability to fill a server despite having the two hottest bods in EU NS present is laughable.

    - Shockwave

    (And yes, I was both of them.)
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Shockwave+Oct 27 2004, 12:32 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Shockwave @ Oct 27 2004, 12:32 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Oct 26 2004, 11:23 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Oct 26 2004, 11:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Forum demographic duly noted, will endeavour to never link to anything away from this forum unless it's a flash movie featuring Japanese songs with mono-syllabic lyrics.

    Because they're really funny! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    twoflow, may I have your superior robot man-babies? Incidentally, I'd like to once again point out blaming my good self for your complete inability to fill a server despite having the two hottest bods in EU NS present is laughable.

    - Shockwave

    (And yes, I was both of them.) <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I wasn't there, so obv. one scorching hot bod was missing. Thus the lack of server success.
  • StarchyStarchy Join Date: 2003-04-21 Member: 15727Members, Constellation
    I'm just "lost in space" !
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    As I clicked on the page, intrinsically I knew I had made a mistake. Every Neuron in my brain screamed that I make a dash for the back button, before the toxin known as "British Humour" was injected into my body via my traitorous eyes. But somehow my body was frozen, frozen with the fear of what I knew was to come.

    The page loaded.

    My vision blurred and the walls around me closed in, leering at me like the hundred heads of Horace's Cerberus. And truly I was a glutton, a glutton for punishment; my masochistic tendencies having been the only thing that kept me rooted to my seat, puzzling my feeble brain as a <b>sannyasin</b> contemplates <b>samsara</b>, as I sorted the conundrum before me. <i>Surely</i>, I thought, <i>these words ARE in English. And yet... it is still another language... another language ENTIRELY.</i> I knew then the meaning of fear. Nay, not the psuedo-fear one might pretend to experience while reading a Stephen King novel. Rather, the fear polar to, but equal in strength to, a catharsis. Suddenly, the weight was lifted, my limbs could move! And MOVE THEY DID, with speed that even The Flash could not muster, I return to you know, from what I dub the 10th circle of Hell; British Comedy.

    Fare thee well, and be warned;

    ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER A BRITISH HUMOUR SITE

    ----------------------
    GJ Flint, nice find. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Cold-NiTe+Oct 27 2004, 12:53 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Cold-NiTe @ Oct 27 2004, 12:53 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> As I clicked on the page, intrinsically I knew I had made a mistake. Every Neuron in my brain screamed that I make a dash for the back button, before the toxin known as "British Humour" was injected into my body via my traitorous eyes. But somehow my body was frozen, frozen with the fear of what I knew was to come.

    The page loaded.

    My vision blurred and the walls around me closed in, leering at me like the hundred heads of Horace's Cerberus. And truly I was a glutton, a glutton for punishment; my masochistic tendencies having been the only thing that kept me rooted to my seat, puzzling my feeble brain as a <b>sannyasin</b> contemplates <b>samsara</b>, as I sorted the conundrum before me. <i>Surely</i>, I thought, <i>these words ARE in English. And yet... it is still another language... another language ENTIRELY.</i> I knew then the meaning of fear. Nay, not the psuedo-fear one might pretend to experience while reading a Stephen King novel. Rather, the fear polar to, but equal in strength to, a catharsis. Suddenly, the weight was lifted, my limbs could move! And MOVE THEY DID, with speed that even The Flash could not muster, I return to you know, from what I dub the 10th circle of Hell; British Comedy.

    Fare thee well, and be warned;

    ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER A BRITISH HUMOUR SITE

    ----------------------
    GJ Flint, nice find. I enjoyed it thoroughly. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Hey, Max Payne; get your coat.
  • TyrainTyrain Join Date: 2003-01-03 Member: 11746Members
    edited October 2004
    There are four men in a boat
    With five cigarettes
    but no matches.
    How do they manage to smoke?

    Answer: They don't. They have no matches. Weren't you listening?


    Ahhhh no matches!?!?!?

    It lives in the winter
    Dies in the summer
    And grows with its roots upwards.

    Question: What is it?
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    -
    Answer: It is a horrifically mutated plant that must be destroyed before it spores to the winds.

    <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Tequila+Oct 26 2004, 07:30 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Tequila @ Oct 26 2004, 07:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Cold-NiTe+Oct 27 2004, 12:53 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Cold-NiTe @ Oct 27 2004, 12:53 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> As I clicked on the page, intrinsically I knew I had made a mistake.  Every Neuron in my brain screamed that I make a dash for the back button, before the toxin known as "British Humour" was injected into my body via my traitorous eyes.  But somehow my body was frozen, frozen with the fear of what I knew was to come.

    The page loaded.

    My vision blurred and the walls around me closed in, leering at me like the hundred heads of Horace's Cerberus.  And truly I was a glutton, a glutton for punishment; my masochistic tendencies having been the only thing that kept me rooted to my seat, puzzling my feeble brain as a <b>sannyasin</b> contemplates <b>samsara</b>, as I sorted the conundrum before me.  <i>Surely</i>, I thought, <i>these words ARE in English.  And yet...  it is still another language... another language ENTIRELY.</i>  I knew then the meaning of fear.  Nay, not the psuedo-fear one might pretend to experience while reading a Stephen King novel.  Rather, the fear polar to, but equal in strength to, a catharsis.  Suddenly, the weight was lifted, my limbs could move!  And MOVE THEY DID, with speed that even The Flash could not muster, I return to you know, from what I dub the 10th circle of Hell; British Comedy.

    Fare thee well, and be warned;

    ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER A BRITISH HUMOUR SITE

    ----------------------
    GJ Flint, nice find.  I enjoyed it thoroughly. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Hey, Max Payne; get your coat. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Nxet tmie, ltes hpoe he lanres his losesn and lnkis to a Falsh mvoie wtih Jepasane msiuc and mnoo-salylbiac wrods.
  • docchimpydocchimpy Join Date: 2003-07-19 Member: 18266Members
    edited October 2004
    <!--QuoteBegin-Cold-NiTe+Oct 26 2004, 06:53 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Cold-NiTe @ Oct 26 2004, 06:53 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Pure Awesome. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    <img src='http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2004-7/765189/ColdNite.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />

    EDIT: ARRRR! Image left up for posterity.
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    New Avatar! Oh yeah!

    <img src='http://home.comcast.net/~grain_silo/ColdNite-mkII.gif' border='0' alt='user posted image' />
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Shockwave+Oct 26 2004, 11:32 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Shockwave @ Oct 26 2004, 11:32 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Oct 26 2004, 11:23 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Oct 26 2004, 11:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Forum demographic duly noted, will endeavour to never link to anything away from this forum unless it's a flash movie featuring Japanese songs with mono-syllabic lyrics.

    Because they're really funny! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    twoflow, may I have your superior robot man-babies? Incidentally, I'd like to once again point out blaming my good self for your complete inability to fill a server despite having the two hottest bods in EU NS present is laughable.

    - Shockwave

    (And yes, I was both of them.) <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Who are you?

    Clearly you didn't find it laughable, dear, as you bolted from the server like a scalded dog after a very light ribbing.

    Nevermind that, though: will you still be hosting the game servers by the time that the equivalent of NS: Source is released?

    Perhaps the Nude Soiree needed the wee LBSC guys to draw a (naked) crowd, but they're all dead and therefore a bit useless at the best of times.
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    edited February 2005
    Fans of the Weekly might care about co-writer Mil Millington's two books. I'm halfway through the first (Things My Girlfriend And I Argue About) and it's very good, though not quite as mad-cap as the Weekly. You can buy the books from the Weekly's shop for a very reasonable price, and even ask him to sign them if you're into that.
  • Nemesis_ZeroNemesis_Zero Old European Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 75Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    Mmmh... Apparently, a suiting motto for my first name is "I don't care whether you live or die.". Amazing, that thing works!
  • PithlitPithlit Join Date: 2003-05-07 Member: 16120Members, NS1 Playtester, Constellation
    edited February 2005
    Typical Pithlit motto

    "This looks like a job for Super-Pithlit!"

    Oh, and i´m "Contagiously miserable." wich sadly seems true <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
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