Everyone Add An Ns Poem

DukemDukem Join Date: 2003-04-06 Member: 15246Banned
<div class="IPBDescription">Come on.....</div> Mine:

There once was an onos from Queens,
Who had an issue with eating marines,
One down - more to go,
Lets even the score,
First somebody sort out the teams...


Smelly marine stands by the door,
No-one likes him any more
Freed from an onos by his team
He didn't come out feeling clean
The com sends him to the furthest hive
not caring if he'll stay alive.
The aliens need not contrive.
They'd smell the kid before he'd arrive.

and a sentimental one:

I stand in the corner, watching, waiting.
Is that a gorge, its plump body pulsating
I've been with these guys too long.
Too long afraid - to long alone
We're expected to kill .. but i feel a link
i need this gorge
i want this gorge.
I draw closer to the gorge - it turns.
It moves towards me, the feeling burns
Then there's no more silence, and we're nolonger alone
And in an instance my dreams are all gone.

or even:

S: Sexy
K: Kinky
U: Unequalled
L: Lovely
K: Kinky(again)


Now everyone else try - its stupid - but don't worry - this is a stupid part of the forum


  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    Head 'splosion/Ten

    I may later if I'm not lazy as I usual am.
  • RyoOhkiRyoOhki Join Date: 2003-01-26 Member: 12789Members
    edited October 2004
    Sung to the tune of "Waltzing Matilda"

    Once a jolly skulk camped by the armoury
    Under the shade of a cloaking upgrade
    And he growled and he hissed as he waited for a 'rine to spawn
    You'll come a-skulking in CO with me

    Down came a marine, to hump at the armoury
    Up leapt the skulk and chomped him with glee
    And he growled as he used that level to grab xenocide
    You'll come a-skulking in CO with me

    Up rode a marine, mounted on his jetapack
    Up came the HAs, one, two, three
    "Who's that jolly camper cloaked inside our spawning zone"
    You'll come a-skulking in CO with me

    Up jumped the skulk and activated xenocide
    "You'll never catch me alive" said he
    And his ghost may be seen as you wait in the respawn queue
    You'll come a-skulking in CO with me
  • HellabeanHellabean Join Date: 2004-06-30 Member: 29644Members
  • MichaelMichael Join Date: 2004-10-22 Member: 32400Members
    There once was a lot of N00b marines
    The skulks chomped them like a bunch of beans
    The commander was vexed
    'cause he was next
    "That was the shortest game I've ever seen"
  • CrispyCrispy Jaded GD Join Date: 2004-08-22 Member: 30793Members, Constellation
    There is a pretty standard syllable count for that type of poem (limerick), it goes:

    8 (or 9)
    8 (or 9)
    9 (or 10)

    At least that's how I think it goes. Here are some that I rescued from a thread on some paintballer forums, they're from 'the limericks thread' which got 300+ posts the majority with limericks. Mostly it was a mudslinging match boasting paintballing grandeur, the first two are from won of the rounds this match had. The rest are some of the best I came up with.

    There was this baller called Steve-o
    was he good at paintball, well NO.
    He shoots like a ****, and he couldn't hit ****,
    he'd be better if paintballs he'd throw

    Maybe I'll give it a go,
    Cos I'd still 0wn yo **** if I'd throw,
    Paintballs in your face,
    You smallfry disgrace,
    Now bendover and take it like a (thundercat)........HO!

    From the podium Twistier was sweep-kicked
    Watch it son, you're about to be ****ed
    As with rhymes that will flow
    From his pen like a pro
    The sensei shows you how to be licked

    But who is this daddy of cool
    Who Twistier's **** he will rule
    Its the sensei, the one
    The paintball top gun
    Tis Nova: queue ladies' drool!

    But hey babes don't get it on my shirt
    Cos right now there's no time to flirt
    It's time for pimp daddy
    To give this lil' laddy
    A 3 course meal in eating dirt

    Don't worry if you're palette's too dry
    Twistier, you wittle small-fry
    As I take you to town
    Here's what will wash it down
    It's your tears as you begin to cry

    Sadly I tried to resurrect this thread but it got locked, the last post is below...

    For the thread that's been kicked to the kerb,
    So many times it's becoming absurd,
    I dry my eyelashes,
    And pull from the ashes,
    The status it truly deserves.

    I'm very tempted to resurrect this on the NS forums, but I'm thinking a lot of limericks might overstep the mark. They're damn fun though!
  • CrispyCrispy Jaded GD Join Date: 2004-08-22 Member: 30793Members, Constellation
    edited October 2004
    Here's an NS related one.

    Let me Com, I swear I'm not new!
    Says this kid trying to budge his way through,
    When he gets to the chair,
    We are all made aware,
    That his statement was wholly untrue.

    "How do I get in?"

    [EDIT] Missed out a syllable!
  • the_x5the_x5 the Xzianthian Join Date: 2004-03-02 Member: 27041Members, Constellation
    I'd make a poem but since everyone know I suck at poetry I won't stain this nice thread. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    I'll just lerk.
  • kabuumkabuum Join Date: 2004-07-25 Member: 30108Members
    Everyday I play Natural Selection,
    very often i see commander election,
    and then comes commander ejection,
    and antoher empty commander section.

    A bit crappy but you get the idea <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • SvenpaSvenpa Wait, what? Join Date: 2004-01-03 Member: 25012Members, Constellation
    edited November 2004
    The onos I trick
    he ate me with a gigantic bowl of dip
    the commander he flip
    got stuck with his lip
    the rines laughed at the comms flabby hipp
    heavy unloaded his clip
    the onos was fat but he finaly trip
    the stomache said ripp I was free to get up my zip
    and building the last upp standing ip.
  • epsilon42epsilon42 Join Date: 2002-12-21 Member: 11271Members
    here's a haiku for you:

    inside the onos
    anus inevitable
    go away red screen

    for those who don't know, the basic rule for haiku is 5-7-5 (syllables per line).
  • funbagsfunbags Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17099Members
    There once was a skulk from nantucket.

    You guys can finish it up for me.
  • CrispyCrispy Jaded GD Join Date: 2004-08-22 Member: 30793Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-funbags+Nov 4 2004, 04:09 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (funbags @ Nov 4 2004, 04:09 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> There once was a skulk from nantucket.

    You guys can finish it up for me. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    There once was a skulk from Nantucket,
    Who was smuggled aboard in a bucket,
    He leapt himself free,
    Evolved to Gorgey,
    But on 39 res phattey snuffed it!
  • GneralasGneralas Join Date: 2004-01-20 Member: 25523Members
    I like to gorge a lot
    Help the aliens out on the spot
    A marine comes along
    He comes with a bong
    Then we all go buy some pot

    Just excuse me im drunk at the moment... <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wink-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • CartiCarti Join Date: 2003-07-12 Member: 18099Members, Constellation
    There was a marine called tim
    Where he was just a bit dim
    He sat on the tree
    With his LMG
    And then devoured by the onos

    Sucks.. i know <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • coriscoris Join Date: 2003-07-08 Member: 18034Members, Constellation
    I remember one of Cartman's old poems, it went something like this:

    Oh em gee
    I pwnzor thee
    from a tree
    with a lmg
  • GneralasGneralas Join Date: 2004-01-20 Member: 25523Members
    Coris your avatar is scaree
    It makes me want to pee
    I had better get my lmgee
    I will kill it for tee
    blah blah blah blah WEEEE! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    <a href='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=17496' target='_blank'>best ns poem evar</a> <-- that is the endgame when it comes to NS poems, that one just kills it <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
    I have plenty of NS haiku / poems floating around here, if you really want to find one of mine just search and you shall recieve
  • MausMaus Join Date: 2002-11-03 Member: 5599Members
    Not NS, but...

    There once was a scientist called Freeman
    Who came face to face with a demon
    With a glint in his eye
    He unzipped his fly
    And covered the hellspawn in [snip!]
  • PerditionPerdition Join Date: 2004-07-02 Member: 29692Members
    edited November 2004
    I spy with my little eye
    The space cow heading for me now

    Gore, stomp, devour, and charge
    Hive 3 pwnos is at large

    Cornmander dorp us hmgs
    So we can ice him before he flees

    Pwnos down, owned like hell
    I cheat death again with a story to tell
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