Quote Thread

HawkeyeHawkeye Join Date: 2002-10-31 Member: 1855Members
<div class="IPBDescription">Never grows old.</div> Post here your funniest quotes that you know of. It can be from a movie, a book, a president (hint hint), or even from yourself. Just don't forget to quote the source!

Here are mine. Since I think family guy has got to be the funniest show on the planet, here are a few funny quotes from them:

"Peter: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy. I've got to do something.
Man #1: Bob, there's nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor. "

"Peter: What the hell did you do?
Brian: Me? Who the hell buys a novelty fire extinguisher?
Peter: I'll tell you who. Someone who cares enough about physical comedy to put his whole family at risk. "

"Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World. "

"Lois: I care about the size of your **** as much as you care about the size of my breasts.
Peter: Oh my God! (runs off crying) "
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Comments

  • enf0rcerenf0rcer intrigued... Join Date: 2003-03-16 Member: 14584Members
    edited October 2004
    bah.

    btw it's "quotations."
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    <i>"It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact was that the disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows."</i>
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Oct 11 2004, 04:42 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Oct 11 2004, 04:42 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <i>"It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact was that the disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows."</i> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I can't say I'm that familiar with Terry Pratchett's work, but I know it when I see it.
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Tequila+Oct 11 2004, 03:43 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Tequila @ Oct 11 2004, 03:43 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-Flint Paper+Oct 11 2004, 04:42 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Flint Paper @ Oct 11 2004, 04:42 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <i>"It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact was that the disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows."</i> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I can't say I'm that familiar with Terry Pratchett's work, but I know it when I see it. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    You'd make a lovely Granny Weatherwax.
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    edited October 2004
    here are all the quotes I have in my clipboard, some are from bash, some are from around here, some are from movies. I didn't save who actually said it, but pipe up and I will throw a notice in.

    <!--QuoteBegin-my clipboard+ my controls--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (my clipboard @ my controls)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Do not meddle in the affairs of onos, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

    One out of every two marines gets a hmg! When the marine with the hmg gets killed, the one behind him picks up the hmg, and shoots!

    Saying you found a Satanic Message in Doom 3 is like saying you found a Religious Message in the Bible.

    Some people just need to be slapped with raw bacon until they're crying. -- Talesin

    Player1: Who built sens first?
    Player2: Flayra
    Player1: OMG Flayra, why'd u build sensory?
    Flayra: cuz it's my game.

    *Uses his clicky-clicky claws and teeth to chew up the dead horse some more*
    ...
    *Gags as the horse is partially on fire...*

    "Hey Commander... Theres a bunch of thoes Rhinos things coming at out base, can you pass out guns or something"

    You're not outnumbered; you're just in a target-rich environment.

    "there are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't"

    "Posting in the suggestion forums is like sitting in a bathroom stall where the person next to you is taking a huge, nasty poo. Everyone knows it's there but they try to ignore it to the best of their ability."

    Guns don't kill people, trigger_hurt's kill people

    "Arguing with the moderators is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is **** him off."

    "They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards you hear satanic messages. That's nothing, if you play it forwards it installs Windows"

    You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance and Germany doesn't want to go to war

    If all it takes is an infinite number of monkeys with typewriters, how come AOL haven't written any Shakespeare yet?

    Silence eliminates motion tracking if you come up behind them. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut

    I'm not sure what four nines does, but the ace, I think, is pretty high.

    Them ignorants complain that we who control this space station think we're God. We're not God. We just use the "Smite" button profusely.

    The difference between a dream and accomplishment is purely desire

    this is this cat
    this was is cat
    this is how cat
    this was to cat
    this is keep cat
    this was an cat
    this is idiot cat
    this was busy cat
    Ok? Now read the 3rd word in every line!

    they wanna fingerprint me and gimme some years, they'll only get one finger while im shifting gears!

    <AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
    <AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
    <Randerson> LMAO OMG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
    <AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
    *** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

    <pihlopase> Jesus Saves
    <jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

    <Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to ****.
    <Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    <Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!
    <Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck

    the best way to be wrong is to find out it's really not your kid..

    once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot  xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

    unfortunately, since the only thing i can do with a musical Instrument is sell it, all i can do is wish you the best of luck.

    (Some pilot on planetside)
    If I say "eject!" and you say "what?" you'll be talking to yourself

    I R GUNNA GO TO TEH SKOLL NAD LERN!

    Focus on the goal, not the task

    MonsE is like GOD, he was here in the beginning talking to the masses and now he's silent working in mysterious ways

    <MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
    <goatboy> what?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> ****.
    <goatboy> er?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> ****.
    <goatboy> and?
    <MooseOnDaLoose> ****.
    <goatboy> ...
    <MooseOnDaLoose> ****.
    <goatboy> i dont get it
    <MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
    <goatboy> bastard
    <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    [edit]
    oops, fixed a tag
    [/edit]
  • DragonMechDragonMech Join Date: 2003-09-19 Member: 21023Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    "You've got more balls than brains son. Just what this mission needs." -Major Mcain, AvP2.
  • X_StickmanX_Stickman Not good enough for a custom title. Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15533Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-That Annoying Kid+Oct 11 2004, 03:58 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (That Annoying Kid @ Oct 11 2004, 03:58 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin-my clipboard+ my controls--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (my clipboard @ my controls)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    ...
    <pihlopase> Jesus Saves
    <jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

    ...
    <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    [edit]
    oops, fixed a tag
    [/edit] <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I love that quote, it's my MSN name at the moment. I almost died laughing when i first read it (the fact i had to do a double take on it the first time to fully get it made it even funnier).
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot  xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Pure genius.
  • CplDavisCplDavis I hunt the arctic Snonos Join Date: 2003-01-09 Member: 12097Members
    My 3 current Sig Quotes



    "Davis your avatar is a man shaking hands with an onos right?
    Because for the longest time I thought it was an onos pleasing himself..."
    -CWAG
    ===

    <[exi]-TheAdj`> I just put together my new leather massage chair
    <[exi]-TheAdj`> and I put it together backwards
    <Davis-TSA> lol! the adj
    <Davis-TSA> how does one put a chair together backwards?
    <[exi]-TheAdj`> wow I feel stupid
    <Davis-TSA> XD
    ===

    "Don't call me slow! I'm not slow, I'm stupid! There is a difference. If I were slow -I'd get it eventually."

    -BECKERDABOMB-TSA
    ===

    Older NSPlayer over Voice chat
    "Wow this mod is really cool. So much bettter than that CS my son plays. And I think Im doing pretty well too for my first day of playing."

    (NSPlayer kills 2 skulks)

    Ha! I gotch ya!

    (Suddenly a new much larger alien appears)

    "Ha got those 2!... OH NO! whats that!!"

    Me: "Heh Funny you should say that."
  • Cold_NiTeCold_NiTe Join Date: 2003-09-15 Member: 20875Members
    You can put a chair together backwards ?!? <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • jumpingjodajumpingjoda Join Date: 2003-12-14 Member: 24367Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    "Bravery is not a function of firepower" JC Denton, DeusEx.
    There are so many genius quotes in DeusEx, i can't remember them all.
  • HybridclawHybridclaw Join Date: 2003-11-03 Member: 22271Members
    "lets rob the rich, give the money to the poor, then rob the poor, and shoot the money!" -someone on the Simpsons..... don't remember who though
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    The Simpons

    Bart: I didn't do it. Aycurumba (Can't Spell lol). Eat My Shorts.
    Maggie: *Dummy suck sound*
    Flanders: Okayley Dokaley
    Homer: Mmmmm.... Dougnuts.
    Apu: Thankyou, come again!
  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    "It's not stupid... it's advaaanced!" =3

    "game over man! game over!"

    "Porkchop Sandwiches!!!"


    Guess the 3 and you get the awesome prize of... nothing!!! ^^
  • GwahirGwahir Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Members, Constellation
    on the subject of wow-wow sauce

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
    He placed a thumb over the cork and shook the bottle vigorously.  There was a crash as the Chair of Indefinate Studies and the Senior Wrangler tried to get under the same table.

    "And these fellows seem to have taken against it for some reason," he said, approaching the beaker.

    "I prefer a sauce that doesn't mean you mustn't make any jolting movements for half an hour after using it," muttered the Dean.

    "And that can't be used for breaking up small rocks," said the Senior Wrangler.

    "Or getting rid of tree roots," said the Chair of Indefinite Studies.

    "And which isn't actually outlawed in three cities," said the Lecturer in Recent runes.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    someone else finish it if they recognize it.
  • WindelkronWindelkron Join Date: 2002-04-11 Member: 419Members
    edited October 2004
    from Minority Report, the funniest diss/rejection/expelling phrase of all time:

    "...that's why I left him.
    And now you can leave."

    gahahaha i had to rewind like 8 times to watch this again and again


    geminosity, #2 is from aliens, #3 is from the GI-Joe things from ebaums
  • ThansalThansal The New Scum Join Date: 2002-08-22 Member: 1215Members, Constellation
    gems #1 is from Invader Zim (the talest refering to Gir)

    And I think the wow-wow sauce is from small gods, though I am not positive.
  • TheWizardTheWizard Join Date: 2002-12-11 Member: 10553Members, Constellation
    I plan to live forever.

    So far, so good.
  • ThaldarinThaldarin Alonzi&#33; Join Date: 2003-07-15 Member: 18173Members, Constellation
    I'm the real Peter Pan. I just never grew up. I am Peter Pan inside.

    We all know who said them <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-Thursday-+Oct 11 2004, 07:31 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Thursday- @ Oct 11 2004, 07:31 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I'm the real Peter Pan. I just never grew up. I am Peter Pan inside.

    We all know who said them <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin-fix.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Mrs Doubtfire.
  • twoflowtwoflow Singing Drunk Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1950Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Cold-NiTe+Oct 11 2004, 04:12 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Cold-NiTe @ Oct 11 2004, 04:12 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot  xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    Pure genius. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    No work of man will top that.
  • UltimaGeckoUltimaGecko hates endnotes Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Members
    A few quotes ahead. But for the people looking for shear comedy among us, I point you to <a href='http://www.tallrite.com/LightRelief/GreatQuotes.htm' target='_blank'>Great Quotes</a>, which are probably not really, but funny enough anyway.

    For simplicity, funny quotes start lower down, the upper ones are more actual advice/reasoning/intelligence.

    <!--QuoteBegin-Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel +--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel )</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->We learn from history that we do not learn from history. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Matthew Prior+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Matthew Prior)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->They always talk who never think. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Matthew Prior+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Matthew Prior)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Be to her virtues very kind. Be to her faults a little blind. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Makes me wonder why I've never heard of this guy...
    Matthew Prior (1664-1721), English poet and diplomat

    <!--QuoteBegin-Sydney Smith+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Sydney Smith)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ...and still no one raises their hand in class? <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-George Washington+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (George Washington)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Socrates+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Socrates)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of - for credit is like fire; when once you have kindled it you may easily preserve it, but if you once extinguish it, you will find it an arduous task to rekindle it again. The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Ivan Pavlov+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Ivan Pavlov)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Perfect as the wing of a bird may be, it will never enable the bird to fly if unsupported by the air. Facts are the air of science.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Wernher von Braun+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Wernher von Braun)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    For lazy people's convienence, funnier quotes start here:
    <!--QuoteBegin-Wernher von Braun+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Wernher von Braun)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Sam Rayburn+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Sam Rayburn)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Son, always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to remember what you said the last time. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Charles M. Schulz+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Charles M. Schulz)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Charles M. Schulz+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Charles M. Schulz)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I love mankind; it's people I can't stand. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-George Bush Sr.+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (George Bush Sr.)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Albert Einstein+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Albert Einstein)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"Zwei Dinge sind unendlich: Das Universum und die Menschliche Dummheit. Aber beim Universum bin ich mir nicht ganz sicher."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Two things are infinite: the universe and the stupidity of men. But I'm not quite sure about the universe.

    <!--QuoteBegin-Henry Kissinger+ Oct. 28th, 1973--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Henry Kissinger @ Oct. 28th, 1973)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Socrates+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Socrates)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    That should suffice for now, I'd think. Some of those are cool. I'll need to memorize them.

    Now, if we just want comedic type stuff...
    <!--QuoteBegin-Eddie Izzard+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Eddie Izzard)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"...They built stonehenge, one of the biggest henges in the world! No one's built a henge like that since...No one knows what the **** a henge is..."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Family Guy+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Family Guy)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
    Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the most non-competitive. So I win.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Futurama - Fry and the Slurm Factory+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Futurama - Fry and the Slurm Factory)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Fry: So what's the secret ingredient?
    Tour Leader: It's whatever you imagination wants it to be!
    Fry:Oh...but what is it really?
    TL: <i>accusatory</i>:That's not for you to know. <i>friendly</i> Now, over here the Grunka-Lunkas are inducing Wompass berries to release their flavor using the art of sensual massage.
    Bender: Psst. Those berries, those are the secret ingredient, right?
    TL <i>annoyed</i>: No
    Bender: Are you positive?
    TL: Yes
    Bender: I'm just asking 'cause they look kind of secret.
    TL <i>really annoyed</i>: Enough! There will be no further questions.
    Fry -<i>raises his hand</i>: Why?

    ...

    Fry: When will that be?
    TL: Soon enough!
    Fry: That's not soon enough.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin-Futurama+ Anthology of Interest--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Futurama @ Anthology of Interest)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->We're similar to, but legally distinct from, the lolly-pop guild, the lolly-pop guild.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->


    <!--QuoteBegin-Simpsons+--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Simpsons)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Homer: Are you going to send bees after me? Or dogs? Or dogs with bees in their mouths so when they open them they shoot bees at me?<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
  • KitkiKitki Join Date: 2004-04-04 Member: 27722Members
    QUOTE (Infinitum)
    If it bleeds, we can kill it.

    "I usually do this when we have 2 hives and if we
    lose the second hive then get it back again we can
    have all of the the level 3 upgrades... but when
    we get three hive I am usually having to much fun
    gassing the little funny green metal things that
    run around.... "

    <@NemesisZero> Let's don't bash people with half a brain.

    QUOTE (moultano @ Sep 1 2004, 08:31 PM)
    Just remember, there are 3 billion women in the world.
    Unless you're a real nutjob <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->, you could probably fall
    in love with at least .1% of them. You've got 3 million
    more opportunities to shine.
    ====

    This stuff is from the VR topic a while ago..


    "Yeah. Hackers would be annoying. And viruses. And popups.
    And can you imagine the spyware? Just walking down the
    street after finishing your latest online VR game of CS 7,
    and you get a "YOUR MIND IS INFECTED WITH SPYWARE, THINK
    YES TO GET RID OF IT!" in your eyes. AVG would have a hell
    of a time.'


    "This reminds me of a peripheral one finnish game critic once
    proposed as a counter to the god syndrome rampant among gamers.
    He called it the NNirvi's Amazing Hit Simulator.

    The hit simulator is plugged to a wall outlet and then connected
    to the forehead of the user. When the user gets hit in a game,
    he receives an electrical shock that is in terms of power directly
    proportionate to the amount of damage taken. For example, when the
    adventure party members are hit by a skeleton in Eye of the Beholder 2,
    the player feels a slight tickle, but when the final boss dragon
    slams the party the whole city block loses power because of the massive
    jolt of voltage the player gets. And don't even get me started on the
    agonising pain caused by mind flayers..."
  • GwahirGwahir Join Date: 2002-04-24 Member: 513Members, Constellation
    Thansal!! Your Terry Pratchett is horrible!

    "Small Gods" took place primarily within the Omnian Empire... a long time before the time most stories take place. More than that it was when Lu Tze was introduced. And even more... there were no WIZARDS!

    Ridcully likes Wow-wow sauce. Every person mentioned was a wizard...

    bah! I say to you bah!

    I stick my tongue out at you <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Marine0IMarine0I Join Date: 2002-11-14 Member: 8639Members, Constellation
    edited October 2004
    The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.

    -Winston Churchill (I think)

    "How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an Anti-communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."
    -- Ronald Reagan

    Police officers responded to a domestic dispute, accompanied by marines. They had just gone up to the door when two shotgun birdshot rounds were fired through the door, hitting the officers. One yelled `cover me!' to the marines, who then laid down a heavy base of fire. . . . The police officer had not meant `shoot' when he yelled `cover me' to the marines. [He] meant . . . point your weapons and be prepared to respond if necessary. However, the marines responded instantly in the precise way they had been trained, where `cover me' means provide me with cover using firepower. . . . over two hundred bullets [were] fired into that house."[1]

    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." —Norman Schwartzkopf

    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." —General George S. Patton

    Has this topic died the death of 'I cannot tell the truth because it would contradict my liberalism' which seems to send so many able postings to an early grave?
    -MonsieurEvil

    QUOTE (White_Devil)
    ppl who put down other ppl from other countries are basicly ingnorant...We are all from the human race and the sooner ppl can put away their bias, the sooner they can be dominated by the USA
  • DrSuredeathDrSuredeath Join Date: 2002-11-11 Member: 8217Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Britney: "I've been into a lot of Indian spiritual religions."
    Newsweek: "Might Hinduism be one of them?"
    Britney: "What's that? Is it like Kaballah?"<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Members
    More Pratchett!

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->"Yes sir." Disagreed Ponder<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Not <i>exactly</i>, sir," said Ponder, employing the phrase in its traditional sense of 'absolutely wrong'.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    "And no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall <i>kill</i> you!"

    "One of the chief causes of the collapse of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate the successful termination of their C programs."
  • DrSuredeathDrSuredeath Join Date: 2002-11-11 Member: 8217Members
    edited October 2004
    A place with love is a place with misery.
    A place with Joy is a place with love.

    -Anonymous

    (Tee dai mee rak, tee nan mee tuk.
    Tee dai mee suk, tee nan mee rak)
    Rhyme in original language.
  • TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu Anememone Join Date: 2002-03-23 Member: 345Members
    edited October 2004
    "Soooo Broccoli, mother says you're very good for me. But I'm afraid I'm not very good for you!"

    "If the Creator had said, "Let there be light" in Ankh-Morpork, he'd have gotten no further because of all the people saying "What colour?""

    "He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at."

    <Jedisar|anime|WHR> Anyway, Anime liking girl likes everything I like.
    <Jedisar|anime|WHR> And says I'm "Interesting" and that it's a good thing.
    <Jedisar|anime|WHR> So that's a good thing.
    <Tiio> ...you IMed that cosplay chick?
    <Tiio> from hotornot?
    <Jedisar|anime|WHR> No, this was a chic that I talked to on Kazaa.
    <Jedisar|anime|WHR> She was leeching off me.
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