Can Someone Critique This?
<div class="IPBDescription">It's for my Sociology Class.</div> Ok so I have this Intro to Sociology Class and we have these online discussions, very similar in make to forums. The topic is Media and desensitization to violence. They argue that video games and movies effect us and make us violent.
<span style='color:green'><b>Here is the Exact Topic:</b></span>
<b><span style='font-size:15pt;line-height:100%'>Crime and Violence </span></b>
View the video Game Over. Select the website at <a href='http://www.mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderAndDiversity/GameOver/' target='_blank'>http://www.mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderA...rsity/GameOver/</a>
View the 5-minute video by selecting "Play Video" on the left side of the page halfway down the page.
1. What are your thoughts and reactions to the video? Do videos contribute to crime and violence in America? Why or why not?
View the video The Killing Screens. Select the website at <a href='http://www.mediaed.org/videos/CommercialismPoliticsAndMedia/TheKillingScreens/' target='_blank'>http://www.mediaed.org/videos/Commercialis...KillingScreens/</a>
View the 5-minute video by selecting "Play Video" on the left side of the page halfway down the page.
Your text states, ". . . cultural transmission . . . emphasizes that one learns criminal behaviors through interactions with others." Sutherland considers that individuals undergo a basic socialization process whether learning conforming or deviant acts.
2. Is it possible that individuals not only learn criminal behavior through interactions with others, but through media representations of criminal behavor? Why or why not? While growing up did you, and do you now, watch violence on TV and at the movies? If so, why did you not turn out to be violent?
3. Respond to at least one student's posting in any manner you deem appropriate.
<span style='color:green'><b>Here is my Response:</b></span>
-----------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: I am a great fan of satire.
I was approximately twelve years old when I played my first video game. It was called "Castle Wolfenstein" and was a game where the 'buff' American hero put down Nazi Zombies and Mutants. Yes. You heard me correctly, Zombies and Mutants that also happened to embrace the beliefs of the National Socialist German Workingmen's Party. They may be dead, or mutated and thus horribly disfigured, but I suppose they too were allowed the chance to join the ranks of the S.A. I don't believe I was ever able to see the character I played as, as the entire game was in first person, however I did see his hands, and they surely did look irregularly large and muscular, and aggressive too, if you wish to read between the lines. Unlike Duke Nukem, another video game character, I don't believe he ever yelled one-liners as he gunned down his foes and their oppressive and racist beliefs.
Before I knew it, I was circle strafing my enemies to dodge their shots and running alongside walls to increase forward velocity, even jumping up and down as I ran to negate friction in an attempt to manipulate the game's weak physics engine and exploit it to my own advantage. It wasn't about violence to me, it was about skill and speed and reaction timing. There was no thrill in blowing off some poor sod's head. It was how articulate I was in enacting that blow. What was my timing? Did it or the other two German Workingmen's Party members have a chance to enact their AI scripts and react to me before I defeated them?
The glow in my eyes was not from some daemonic urge to cause pain in others. When, upon playing that game for the first time, I did not get up and begin attacking members of my family without provocation. After I got up, I simply stretched, yawned and went back to reading "James and the Giant Peach". Did I suddenly explode and try to annihilate my older brother with the book as my primal weapon? No. I simply went back to life as it was.
In my younger days, power rangers were all the rage. As far as I could discern at the time, upon watching it due to the insistence of some of my friends, it seemed to be a show that blatantly stole Martial Arts from Oriental culture and put westernized faces on it. I was somewhat displeased, as I always was when I saw culture being stolen without a single word of thanks. Just as I was when I found out my friends were drinking "Chai" in high school and had no clue that it was of Indian origin. I would later learn that the show was produced by Bandai, a Japanese company, and find myself mildly bemused. After seeing one of these so called "Rangers" kicking what seemed to me at the time to be a mentally handicapped alien of some sort, I could stand no more. I switched it off and told my friends to never suggest anything to me again. I had been taught to respect all people and especially to be kind when dealing with autistic or handicapped people. To see such brutal treatment of one filled me with disgust. I was later informed by someone, that the creature was called a 'Putty' and was not in fact handicapped but simply without any brain to speak of. The situation was explained in detail and I forgave and forgot.
So I watched another episode of the show. It was at that point that I saw a giant robotic dinosaur fire beams of energy out of various orifices within its body. I was glad then, to an extreme degree, that I did not have epilepsy. Cue to more scenes of brightly colored psuedo-ninjas fighting aliens and some scantily clad woman who was their leader. I personally, would not follow anyone who chose to wear something that could shame swimwear, in a sixty degree windchill. But that might have been why she had to be served by these "putties". I laughed the most I had ever done in months. Here was something that topped those times when my cat would fall off the chair while it slept. Something more hilarious than when my brother would eat a seed in my mother's seed cake and run for the sink in horror. Did I jump up and attempt to ninja kick my father so that he would go flying forward in slow motion in a shower of sparks? Even if I was naive enough to believe that to work, I would not have done so. Did I begin to disrespect human life? Most certainly not. Did I have a good laugh at what people my age seemed to find captivating? Yes.
**End Satire**
I apologise if my attempt at a joke hurt anyone's feelings or was taken in a negative light. It was just that, a joke, and in all honesty, this was my response to seeing those videos. As I watched those videos, my reaction was to think of all the morals I have pledged myself to and the values I have wished to maintain throughout my life, then looked at all the violent movies I have watched and many video games I have played, then wondered why I was not some senseless killer. A single answer permeated my mind; my parents, or more specifically my mother. Throughout her life she suffered from unspeakable treatment and even sometimes, blatant racist hate, and bless her heart she was born a sensitive person. But did she become some bitter personified hate? No, she simply looked at the future and had faith in herself. She turned the other cheek, but throughout it all she was truely too strong and independent let it leave a chink in her armor. She instilled values in my brother and I that are unbreakable. If I were reduced to the very core of my being, those rules first taught to me would be there.
Perhaps on some intrinsic level, beyond our cognitive thoughts, the images we see and the sounds we experience, the very ideas we percieve, as provided by the media, are recorded and stored within us. For, in my opinion, that is the only way I can believe that any media fabrication of such extremity as to make me tolerate violence can reach within me. However, even given that we are permeated on a subconcious level by American marketed culture, for surely a culture that we pay to endorse is to be considered "marketed", for it to turn us into killers, we must be weak minded individuals to begin with. Not to make light of a tragic incident, but the Children who commited the crimes at Columbine, cannot simply say in their defense, that society made them into the inhuman and cruel beings that they had become. Society alone cannot, witholding extreme circumstances, drive a perfectly healthy mind into madness. That mind must be open and vulnerable to begin with. Perhaps to these people then, such an extreme and disreputable tolerance of inhumanity to one's fellow man can actually affect the person. Perhaps to these people, such videos and other forms of media can contribute to violent tendencies, and thus have an effect on violence as a whole within America, as it is represented by said demographic.
A mind that is most vulnerable to such an influence, would certainly be a child's mind. However, that child should never be alone to experience something that could alter his or her behaviour or attitude. A parent or guardian should always take the duty of parenting upong themselves. While it would seem that such a statement is obvious and unnecessary, I believe that that is exactly the problem. Parents of this day and age simply do not raise children the way they used to. However, unlike what that statement implies, no one should be angry at the child. The parent must interpret for the child any material he or she is to experience and to filter and/or add connotation and even, if necessary, condemn what the child sees. We are not born with the knowledge of good and evil, if you will forgive my biblical reference. We can understand things that strike us as intrinsically wrong, however, we cannot truly interpret these things without the wisdom afforded to us by past generations and taught to us by our parents.
So what am I trying to say? Of course the media has influence on us all. Even me, though I may seem to say otherwise. What has to be stronger than the media, is the raising done by our parents and extended family or community. Had I been neglected as a child, had my mother not one day told me that in her eyes, I would always be a success and then handed me "The Grapes of Wrath" and said go read a good book, perhaps I would have fallen to simply being raised by my television. Perhaps I would be some broken thing, as a piece of iron will rust when left outside, so too might I have rusted. But I did not. Why? Because I wasn't just raised by the media. And instilled in me is steel far stronger than it can break and far deeper than it can reach.
---------------------------------------------------
<b><span style='color:green'>Here is where you come in:</span></b>
Ignoring the stuff about bunny hopping and such in Castle Wolfenstein (I know you could wallstrafe and it did increase your speed, but bunnyhopping doesn't work in that engine I think.) Please tell me my essay wasn't total garbage. I know I went off the handle, but I really need to know what I've got and what I need. I would really appreciate any help I can get.
<span style='color:green'><b>Here is the Exact Topic:</b></span>
<b><span style='font-size:15pt;line-height:100%'>Crime and Violence </span></b>
View the video Game Over. Select the website at <a href='http://www.mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderAndDiversity/GameOver/' target='_blank'>http://www.mediaed.org/videos/MediaGenderA...rsity/GameOver/</a>
View the 5-minute video by selecting "Play Video" on the left side of the page halfway down the page.
1. What are your thoughts and reactions to the video? Do videos contribute to crime and violence in America? Why or why not?
View the video The Killing Screens. Select the website at <a href='http://www.mediaed.org/videos/CommercialismPoliticsAndMedia/TheKillingScreens/' target='_blank'>http://www.mediaed.org/videos/Commercialis...KillingScreens/</a>
View the 5-minute video by selecting "Play Video" on the left side of the page halfway down the page.
Your text states, ". . . cultural transmission . . . emphasizes that one learns criminal behaviors through interactions with others." Sutherland considers that individuals undergo a basic socialization process whether learning conforming or deviant acts.
2. Is it possible that individuals not only learn criminal behavior through interactions with others, but through media representations of criminal behavor? Why or why not? While growing up did you, and do you now, watch violence on TV and at the movies? If so, why did you not turn out to be violent?
3. Respond to at least one student's posting in any manner you deem appropriate.
<span style='color:green'><b>Here is my Response:</b></span>
-----------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: I am a great fan of satire.
I was approximately twelve years old when I played my first video game. It was called "Castle Wolfenstein" and was a game where the 'buff' American hero put down Nazi Zombies and Mutants. Yes. You heard me correctly, Zombies and Mutants that also happened to embrace the beliefs of the National Socialist German Workingmen's Party. They may be dead, or mutated and thus horribly disfigured, but I suppose they too were allowed the chance to join the ranks of the S.A. I don't believe I was ever able to see the character I played as, as the entire game was in first person, however I did see his hands, and they surely did look irregularly large and muscular, and aggressive too, if you wish to read between the lines. Unlike Duke Nukem, another video game character, I don't believe he ever yelled one-liners as he gunned down his foes and their oppressive and racist beliefs.
Before I knew it, I was circle strafing my enemies to dodge their shots and running alongside walls to increase forward velocity, even jumping up and down as I ran to negate friction in an attempt to manipulate the game's weak physics engine and exploit it to my own advantage. It wasn't about violence to me, it was about skill and speed and reaction timing. There was no thrill in blowing off some poor sod's head. It was how articulate I was in enacting that blow. What was my timing? Did it or the other two German Workingmen's Party members have a chance to enact their AI scripts and react to me before I defeated them?
The glow in my eyes was not from some daemonic urge to cause pain in others. When, upon playing that game for the first time, I did not get up and begin attacking members of my family without provocation. After I got up, I simply stretched, yawned and went back to reading "James and the Giant Peach". Did I suddenly explode and try to annihilate my older brother with the book as my primal weapon? No. I simply went back to life as it was.
In my younger days, power rangers were all the rage. As far as I could discern at the time, upon watching it due to the insistence of some of my friends, it seemed to be a show that blatantly stole Martial Arts from Oriental culture and put westernized faces on it. I was somewhat displeased, as I always was when I saw culture being stolen without a single word of thanks. Just as I was when I found out my friends were drinking "Chai" in high school and had no clue that it was of Indian origin. I would later learn that the show was produced by Bandai, a Japanese company, and find myself mildly bemused. After seeing one of these so called "Rangers" kicking what seemed to me at the time to be a mentally handicapped alien of some sort, I could stand no more. I switched it off and told my friends to never suggest anything to me again. I had been taught to respect all people and especially to be kind when dealing with autistic or handicapped people. To see such brutal treatment of one filled me with disgust. I was later informed by someone, that the creature was called a 'Putty' and was not in fact handicapped but simply without any brain to speak of. The situation was explained in detail and I forgave and forgot.
So I watched another episode of the show. It was at that point that I saw a giant robotic dinosaur fire beams of energy out of various orifices within its body. I was glad then, to an extreme degree, that I did not have epilepsy. Cue to more scenes of brightly colored psuedo-ninjas fighting aliens and some scantily clad woman who was their leader. I personally, would not follow anyone who chose to wear something that could shame swimwear, in a sixty degree windchill. But that might have been why she had to be served by these "putties". I laughed the most I had ever done in months. Here was something that topped those times when my cat would fall off the chair while it slept. Something more hilarious than when my brother would eat a seed in my mother's seed cake and run for the sink in horror. Did I jump up and attempt to ninja kick my father so that he would go flying forward in slow motion in a shower of sparks? Even if I was naive enough to believe that to work, I would not have done so. Did I begin to disrespect human life? Most certainly not. Did I have a good laugh at what people my age seemed to find captivating? Yes.
**End Satire**
I apologise if my attempt at a joke hurt anyone's feelings or was taken in a negative light. It was just that, a joke, and in all honesty, this was my response to seeing those videos. As I watched those videos, my reaction was to think of all the morals I have pledged myself to and the values I have wished to maintain throughout my life, then looked at all the violent movies I have watched and many video games I have played, then wondered why I was not some senseless killer. A single answer permeated my mind; my parents, or more specifically my mother. Throughout her life she suffered from unspeakable treatment and even sometimes, blatant racist hate, and bless her heart she was born a sensitive person. But did she become some bitter personified hate? No, she simply looked at the future and had faith in herself. She turned the other cheek, but throughout it all she was truely too strong and independent let it leave a chink in her armor. She instilled values in my brother and I that are unbreakable. If I were reduced to the very core of my being, those rules first taught to me would be there.
Perhaps on some intrinsic level, beyond our cognitive thoughts, the images we see and the sounds we experience, the very ideas we percieve, as provided by the media, are recorded and stored within us. For, in my opinion, that is the only way I can believe that any media fabrication of such extremity as to make me tolerate violence can reach within me. However, even given that we are permeated on a subconcious level by American marketed culture, for surely a culture that we pay to endorse is to be considered "marketed", for it to turn us into killers, we must be weak minded individuals to begin with. Not to make light of a tragic incident, but the Children who commited the crimes at Columbine, cannot simply say in their defense, that society made them into the inhuman and cruel beings that they had become. Society alone cannot, witholding extreme circumstances, drive a perfectly healthy mind into madness. That mind must be open and vulnerable to begin with. Perhaps to these people then, such an extreme and disreputable tolerance of inhumanity to one's fellow man can actually affect the person. Perhaps to these people, such videos and other forms of media can contribute to violent tendencies, and thus have an effect on violence as a whole within America, as it is represented by said demographic.
A mind that is most vulnerable to such an influence, would certainly be a child's mind. However, that child should never be alone to experience something that could alter his or her behaviour or attitude. A parent or guardian should always take the duty of parenting upong themselves. While it would seem that such a statement is obvious and unnecessary, I believe that that is exactly the problem. Parents of this day and age simply do not raise children the way they used to. However, unlike what that statement implies, no one should be angry at the child. The parent must interpret for the child any material he or she is to experience and to filter and/or add connotation and even, if necessary, condemn what the child sees. We are not born with the knowledge of good and evil, if you will forgive my biblical reference. We can understand things that strike us as intrinsically wrong, however, we cannot truly interpret these things without the wisdom afforded to us by past generations and taught to us by our parents.
So what am I trying to say? Of course the media has influence on us all. Even me, though I may seem to say otherwise. What has to be stronger than the media, is the raising done by our parents and extended family or community. Had I been neglected as a child, had my mother not one day told me that in her eyes, I would always be a success and then handed me "The Grapes of Wrath" and said go read a good book, perhaps I would have fallen to simply being raised by my television. Perhaps I would be some broken thing, as a piece of iron will rust when left outside, so too might I have rusted. But I did not. Why? Because I wasn't just raised by the media. And instilled in me is steel far stronger than it can break and far deeper than it can reach.
---------------------------------------------------
<b><span style='color:green'>Here is where you come in:</span></b>
Ignoring the stuff about bunny hopping and such in Castle Wolfenstein (I know you could wallstrafe and it did increase your speed, but bunnyhopping doesn't work in that engine I think.) Please tell me my essay wasn't total garbage. I know I went off the handle, but I really need to know what I've got and what I need. I would really appreciate any help I can get.
Comments
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
Is it possible that individuals not only learn criminal behavior through interactions with others, but through media representations of criminal behavor? Why or why not? While growing up did you, and do you now, watch violence on TV and at the movies? If so, why did you not turn out to be violent?
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You didn't answer the 1st question, I think. Your reasons for not turning evil seem well thought out. Does your teacher like metaphors? You seem to have used a lot.
A Great read, all the same.
those are pretty neat, because they act as if you know the answer already, making them feel stupid.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->
Is it possible that individuals not only learn criminal behavior through interactions with others, but through media representations of criminal behavor? Why or why not? While growing up did you, and do you now, watch violence on TV and at the movies? If so, why did you not turn out to be violent?
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
You didn't answer the 1st question, I think. Your reasons for not turning evil seem well thought out. Does your teacher like metaphors? You seem to have used a lot.
A Great read, all the same. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
See, this is why I need your help. I completely overlooked the fundamental point of the task. Answering the questions. Common sense and vision (if I may be so bold as to make that implication) never come in one package.
you seem to be arguing for one side a lot, though.
perhaps for a better understanding of the material, you should debate both sides
p.s. for what it's worth, it's very well written, but could've done a better job of addressing the topic. Personally, I think there are better ways of approaching the topic then drawing from personal experience, although that's a matter of opinion.
Thanks for your input. Just so you know, this isn't an essay, but a response on my classes discussion boards that will be graded. So I will try to cover more of the topic when I do post this. And perhaps argue both sides as well, because it would make sense not to show yourself as too one sided. I drew from personal experience because this is a sociology class, so he wants us to use our "Sociological Imagination" and see how society impacts our lives in particular. Otherwise I might not have been as tasteless as to imply that I have enough experience to draw on to present my point on that basis alone.
This is great, I've figured out my main problems.
Your stuff was very, very well written. Good job.
My one suggestion for the future would be to greatly simplify your description of strafe jumping. Yes, you got pretty generic there, but you have to remember not to underestimate the <s>stupidity</s>unfamaliarity of your target audience with video games. If it took me a second reading of that sentance to know what you meant, there is no way in hell they'll get it. Shorten it to something simple like "I used a technique of making my character jump to exploit the physics of the video game world and make myself faster". Keep it simple and at a lamen's terms.
Also, expanding on PJ's advice: This is asking for your opinion on something, meaning you better damn well have a bias one way or the other. You are supposed to argue for one side. Yes, giving both sides is good, but the reader should come away knowing how you felt about the issue and why you feel you are correct.
Maybe this is a little different because you have to express an opinion, but the bottom line is that to gain marks you have to make sure you answer the question.
Don't disclaim your work. Don't ever apologise for your work. If they don't understand that it is satire, then they don't deserve to be reading it. That disclaimer is the first thing the marker/classmate will see, and first impressions count. You don't want the first thing going through their head (even subconsciously) to be, "oh, great, it's Mr Sarcastic". It also detracts from the inherent subtlety of good satire.
The question asks for your opinions, so give them.
@ Marce: I was thinking about what you said about the Disclaimer, and yes normally I wouldn't bother with something so silly, but it is a sociology class, there are bound to be uptight people who want to believe that all the material we cover is absolutely right and that video games are evil or what have you. I might have to keep the disclaimer just to stave these people off so they don't go off on me for joking about something so serious. Who knows. I just can't trust them not to.
**EDIT** I sort of rushed the stuff I added as I have been studying nonstop for Gen. Chem. so I sort of made the changes hastily (think: 20 minutes) so I may still have left things unsaid or said them in an unsatisfactory way. If anyone has any more critques I would be glad to hear them and make changes if appropriate.