Assault Upon Ironrock Fortress

ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
<div class="IPBDescription">The Final Story of the Tale's series</div> Lamdeer stood upon the cold platted gray tiles that covered the room, he was looking upon the world that had mysteriously had contact cut out mere days ago, the TSA presumed the worse and sent in the elite forces, it was surprising he made it into the special forces but the mastery of his suit was probably because of that.

Lamdeer was suited in his proto type suit, it was covered with a new noctrite metal that further protected him from blows, these brands were colored yellow but the rest of the suit resembled that of a heavy armor's, just with several features that outbeat the average HA's capabilities.

Remembering back when he escaped Ecilpse Research Facility and landed on the core TSA training world of Halios, he was quickly taken away into secrecy and had never been allowed to go in the public as the suit was not to be revealed, though modifications had been added to it with the full installment of AI Lamdeer remembered his humble beginnings.

The suit made him unique, in-built heavy assault machine gun weaponry was at his mere touch, he could get emergency catalyst packs and even medical kits shot into him by the suit's fully installed AI, the only thing was that the nano sludge that created these things from the computer's blue prints took a bit to restore itself, leaving Lamdeer terribly vulnerable, though his vulnerability is laughable at a normal HA's. . . . . .

The window showed him the world that most people called Iron Rock, due to the single fortress that watched over several small villages that dotted across the planet's surface, the plan was simple; find out what happened and report the findings, and secure and re-assure all found humans.

Simple procedure.

Lamdeer knew nothing was simple, at least in the military that was constantly pecked at by TSA rivals, and with a team of 7 experienced marines that idled about in the same recreation room such as this one he doubted anything could pose much threat, his gaze left the window as the time to launch upon the planet drew upon them, the phase gate that should of allowed easy passage was also disconnected upon the surface, which made the situation seem even more odd.

Marching with a stride that was 5 foot steps of a normal human's taken into one giant step at a time, Lamdeer found out that the suit greatly increased his strength and much more, it gave him comfort.

He shuddered even as he shook his head, he was concerned of leaving his suit anywhere now adays, some say he was parano---

"Attention, attention, all special forces are to report to their deployment pods for immediate operation Finder." the annoying ship AI's voice boomed throughout the halls, even though they were well on their way.

Lamdeer's platted boots boomed throughout the corridor, entering the room that held the pods, the room itself was quite plain and contained only a medical and mechnical station should emergencies arise on the walls; however, the pods truely marked the room's role.

There were twenty pods in all, every 4 pods were bunched together as a plus sign in math, this was to conserve space and make it harder for members to get lost, the center cockpit of this 4-pod-in-1 was for spare gear, Lamdeer's weaponry was already in-built and he struggled into a pod even as the others easily fit in with their light armor, through effort Lamdeer climbed into the pod and sighed in relief, the pod began to hum as it grew active.

Lamdeer began to feel an adrenaline rush even as the silent and effective special forces got into their designiated pods and as each of the four humans hit the recognizion button to blast off Lamdeer felt the movement as the pod began to disengage to be shot off at the planet, it was mere seconds until the platform the pod rested on wall's turn around, revealing the outside space, then special poles behind them would automate and push them into space from where the jets on the pods would drive them the rest of the way.

"It begins." thought Lamdeer to himself even as the pod shot off, at Iron Rock, they looked like blue flaming comets from observers as they went through mute space, hurtling theirselves like spears upon Iron Rock.


  • m0nk3ym0nk3y Join Date: 2004-06-21 Member: 29452Members
    OMG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!! START TYPING THARDIN!! and this one better be long and detailed!!! and describe eveything too!!!

    btw, does lamdeer get new weapons?? <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Commander_JAGCommander_JAG Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 6956Members
    sounds promising <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • john_sheujohn_sheu Join Date: 2004-02-26 Member: 26917Members
    edited September 2004
    Where are the other parts of the tale?
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    edited September 2004
    <a href='' target='_blank'></a> 2nd in the series (Serverely advise to read this after the 1st one)

    <a href='' target='_blank'></a> thats the 1 of the series. (It has somewhat of a cliche beginning but bear with me)

    Good old Monkey, I plan to have this the golden apple of the series, granted I somewhat rushed the 2nd one but this one I won't.

    New weapons yes, just not telling. Fun eh?
  • BerettaBeretta Join Date: 2003-08-16 Member: 19794Members
    GET WRITING!!! where is the smiley with a whip!! Back to work thardin

    Lamdeer <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo--> vs Kalar <!--emo&::fade::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='fade.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    1-0 to lamdeer at the moment <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    agentx5 has been posting very informational theories that I will add in now and then, props to him.

    I'll start writing in a few minutes.
  • the_x5the_x5 the Xzianthian Join Date: 2004-03-02 Member: 27041Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Thardin+Sep 23 2004, 03:52 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Thardin @ Sep 23 2004, 03:52 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <s>agentx5</s> x5 has been posting very informational theories that I will add in now and then, props to him.

    I'll start writing in a few minutes. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    heh thanx. <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> I guess that makes me a Phd. in Kharaa biology.

    Actually I'm trying to get them officialized as I go along which so far is proving sucessful.

    Hmm... I could do a Steve Irwin an be like:
    "Crikey! Look at the size of that onos!"

    PS: don't forget the contest <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    The atmosphere resented the oppressing forces of the pods as they grew crimson from the heat and Lamdeer began plotting there estimated destination and found out that it was impossible for the computer currently. Sighing, Lamdeer simply awaited fate even as the pod penetrated into the very Earth like sky, the lush jungle beneath him revealed a small urban city that appears to be quite similiar of those of the first 2000 decade.

    The pod caculated their flight would have to pass through several trees and render the pod nearly unuseable, no matter, they would just have to re-activate the planetal phase gate that was by Iron Rock tower itself, the pod's automated systems began to hum and spoke to each of the passagers.

    "All occupationists are to prepare for landing, it appears to be a little rough but estimated survival rate is 94.71%" even as Lamdeer pondered how long it'd take to get out of his cramped surroundings the pod shrieked right into a clearing by the city, this was definitely off. He would tell the tech about this mistake on logic reasoning for future references.

    The center pod then disengaged all of the four "heads" of itself and forcifully used an emergency parashut, then this method was conformed by the other four as they finally landed to the far east side of the city, the ground below seemed to be clear enough.

    As the systems about him powered down Lamdeer then knew procedure was going as planned, a nice change even as he felt the impact of the ground and groaned as his stomach became upset even as the red hot pod door slowly cracked open to swampy, moist, repulsive jungle oxygen.

    "Have a nice day sir." with that the pod went offline, conserving it's energy in-case it was retrieved when the operation was over. Lamdeer groaned as he slowly half wiggled half crawled out of the pod's opening, even as his fellow men easily had gotten out of theres.

    As the other men went to the center pod to retrieve equipment, which Lamdeer needn't of, he observed the city more closely. The building's windows and doors seemed to of been boarded up long ago, some small holes were left open and as the sun revealed, a glint off one of these windows.

    Forgetting stealth due to his suit and his enterance, Lamdeer boldly got onto the paved road and realized there were no cars, just houses and the roads. . . .

    He also couldn't shake a feeling of dread off him even as he heard something cough, then a yell as he heard the all to familiar sound of death: a heavy machine gun being deployed.

    "St'p right dere!" the gruff voice was followed by several more sounds of weaponry being clicked, no doubtifully being aimed at him.
  • the_x5the_x5 the Xzianthian Join Date: 2004-03-02 Member: 27041Members, Constellation
    Love the story.

    *waits patiently to soak more up*
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    edited September 2004
    Standing perfectly still Lamdeer thought upon his situation and then grinned to himself, none of them knew he had any weapons on him. . . .

    "Who the hell are yah? Some rescue team to scrape us off the planet like the crushed people that we are?" a gruff, nervous laugh followed it as Lamdeer spotted that the HMG was mounted on one of the window's sills and the man behind it appeared to be a mere civilian.

    "Special forces, were here to investigate unusual happenings, what has been going on here <i>civilian</i>?" Lamdeer's voice held a certain amount of justifiable annoyance with his voice, the sun also further irritated him as it's glare forced Lamdeer to use a lower light filter setting.

    "Hell, some of the marines from Iron Rock even took a shot at us, can't blame us for being paranoid!" the man briefly then spat and spoke up clearly again. "Alright boys and gals, the cavalry has arrived to save us, where are yah off to you giant?"

    "Address me as Captain Lamdeer civilian, our goal is to investigate before fleeing from this unseen menace and to re-activate the planetal phase gate, you will now inform me you meat bag or I will personally leave you behind." Lamdeer's voice held truth to the man's ears and his hands on the HMG went limp and he, for once, spoke loud and clear.

    "Khaara, they've established themselves. . . god. . . they tore right through this city to get to Iron Rock." the man's voice was panicking, the monitors of his suit indictated unusual amounts of stress and, quite bluntly, blind terror.

    "I request you stay cal---" unusual tremors gave his fellow special ops. members a shout of warning as they silently observed from the field, confident Lamdeer could of assessed the situation well enough.

    "Oh hell, there coming back. . . . hide!!!" with that the man violently tore the HMG from the window and quickly slided a work bench in front of it even as the tremors quickened.

    Overhead several lerks circled about, no doubt they were scouts as they soared right past the marines; they then realized that the lerk *murder held a skulk a piece and dropped them off on top of city buildings and quickly flew out of weapon range. It was unusual that a lerk could pick up something so heavy but be able to fly at such speeds or elevation.

    The tremor worsen and an explosion ended it, the unseen explosion occured underneath the center street, causing gravel to fire in all directions as deadly sharpel, damaging several surrounding buildings and one even picked off a lerk, which fell in silent death due to it's crushed skull.

    Lamdeer would find out what the explosion was about later, as several menacing eyes glared at him even as the skulks prepared themselves, their teeth and claws shining, promising death even as they began to silently move against them.

    *By murder, I mean, a group of crows, I just used it for lerks.

    Author: I'm sorry about that private message spam, I think I did it because it kept giving me an error page.
  • Thats_EnoughThats_Enough USA Join Date: 2004-03-04 Member: 27141Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    Very well done, can't wait for more. I don't want to nit pick, but you ahve a very grammatical and spelling errors, so just revise. But tbh, I shouldn't say anything, I couldn't write as detailed and coherent as you <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Keep up the great work, I'll be reading <!--emo&::tsa::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tsa.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • john_sheujohn_sheu Join Date: 2004-02-26 Member: 26917Members
    edited September 2004
    <span style='color:GRAY'>Thanks <b>Thardin</b>! <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    I thought the language could use a bit of spicing up. I asked him if I could apply some of my 1337 revision skills (<!--emo&:0--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->) and post the results. So since I have the encouragement of the original author, here it is, the first part at least of this tale:</span>

    Lamdeer stood upon the cold gray panels that tiled the floor of the rec room. He gazed through the portal upon the world that had mysteriously cut contact only days ago. Presuming the worst, the TSA sent in elite forces---and that meant him. He was surprised, actually, that he made it into this unit; it was probably his mastery of his suit that earned him the honor.

    The suit. It was the same one he escaped with off the Eclipse Research Facility almost three months before, but heavily modified. It had been fitted with, among other things, plates of a new Noctrite alloy (in a high-visibility yellow) that featured improved protection against blunt trauma, and a new AI system. His Heavy Machine Gun was now an integral part of his suit, as were a new self-contained Medpack and Catpack system, feeding off a slow-charging central resevoir. And just as his suit has changed, Lamdeer had too. Sequestered in secrecy in the central TSA training world of Helios, he practiced with equipment secret to those outside the higher echelons of the TSA command, getting to know every quirk of his second skin as one would get to know a woman. Of which there were very few on that godforsaken planet.

    The window through which he gazed was in fact not a window at all. The day had long before come when any pore in a warship's armored hide would be a fatal flaw, an Achille's Heel instantly targeted by AI-controlled weaponry. But the fact that it was only a vidscreen did nothing to diminish the view of the world commonly called Iron Rock, due to its prominent fortress that overlooked several small villages scattered across the planetary surface. That was the destination for him and his comrades. Their mission was simple: to find out what happened and to report back. And to secure any survivors, if by the will of fickle Lady Luck there were any.

    Simple procedure.

    Lamdeer knew that nothing was simple, at least in the TSA. He had nothing but scorn for those rival forces that pecked constantly at the integrity of the Trans-System Authority, and he knew that the 7 experienced fireteams that idled in the same rec room felt much the same way. But they were all professionals, and the upcoming mission did not bother them. Or if it did, they didn't let it show. Lamdeer least of all.

    He glanced up at the mission countdown. "Go-time", he muttered to himself, and proceeded across the dull floor tiles. With a stride twice that of even the tallest marine on record in the TSA, he was reassured with the familiar strength that the powered suit gave him. Not that he needed that reassurance, of course, he reminded himself. <i>Well, paranoia wasn't always a bad thing...</i>

    "Attention, attention, all Special forces are to report to their deployment pods for immediate action, Operation Finder", boomed the ship's AI over the PA. Not that anybody needed reminding, as they were all on their way already. Lamdeer had already passed the phase-gate room. For this mission they were to insert by drop-pod, as the last PG planetside had already gone offline. He was the first to enter the pod room. It was a spartan space, the walls marked only with inset medical and mechanical stationss, should an emergency arise. What space there was was dominated by the equipment lockers and the pod launchers.

    There were sixteen of the launchers in all in the room. Each group of 4 was grouped in an Iron Cross, each group standing in a corner. Lamdeer, already suited in his armor, opened the crawl hatch to the pod and proceeded to struggle in, even as the others were still strapping their equipment. He knew that they would be in their pods first, however, unencumbered by heavy equipment. He was proven right a minute later when he heard the last hatch clang shut, even as he had only gotten his upper body fully into the pod. Another minute, and he was in and the hatch was sealed.

    As Lamdeer proceeded to power up the pod, he briefly panicked when he felt the surge of hormones in his blood. Glancing at the status indicators in his HUD, he reassured himself that it was an adrenaline rush, not a malfunctioning catpack system. Strapping him into his seat (with seatbelt extenders for his inflated size courtesy of the shipboard machine shop), he hit the activation toggle. He heard this hiss as the airlock behind the pod opened, and from there on it was only a matter of seconds as the the four pods of his group ejected sequentially.

    "It begins", he thought to himself, as the thrusters kicked in. In under a minute they had hit the first wisps of atmosphere, looking to all the world like flaming blue comets, cosmic spears hurtling onto the Iron Rock.
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    I enjoy having John "translating" my stories, its hard for me to get my ideas described but John has done this extremely well, I'll post my next bit in a bit.
  • m0nk3ym0nk3y Join Date: 2004-06-21 Member: 29452Members
    lamdeer only has a HMG?!?! <!--emo&:(--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> i think you forgot the rocket launchers and nukes and laser beams <!--emo&:p--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    The skulks moved in unision, crawling down ruins and building alike, all towards Lamdeer, some even bunched up together, a fatal mistake on their part.

    It was a laughable situation, these pitiful creatures had the nerve to go against a suit of heavy armor. . . well, he wouldn't disappoint them. Cocking open his in-built HMGs, Lamdeer laid a spray of lead death upon a small group of 3, they quickly deterioated under the punishing force of his weaponry.

    A few dozen more skulks began appearing out of buildings, as if suddenly rosed from a sleep and even they began to advance Lamdeer as he noticed a grenade bounce by him, and then directly into a considerable group of skulks followed by an explosion of organic fluids followed, giving Lamdeer an unwanted "paint" job.

    It was nice to know his partners weren't imcompetent. One of the dog like skulks had then leapt directly into his face and received a punishing blow that easily smashed it's face, it fell when Lamdeer forcifully shook it from his hand and he noticed another dozen of skulks were now hurriedally charging at him.

    "Ever so suicidal." thought Lamdeer as amusement flickered in his eyes even as his top gauntlet apartment released a spray of rockets directly at the group, which was obilerated under the deadly explosions that contained a certain poison that disrupted fugi rapid regeneration, though Khaara researchers advised not to use it more then once on the same brood of Khaara, Lamdeer didn't care about that right now.

    They never stood a chance in the end. His partners finished what was left of the meager forces of the skulks even as Lamdeer began to think clearly once more, he had to find out what the explosion was.

    "I'm going to search what happened under ground, two of you follow me." they were silent, volunteering was done without yelling nor complaint as they followed Lamdeer through the now silent city where there was death dealing mere minutes ago, the hole ahead gave much to think about however.
  • Thats_EnoughThats_Enough USA Join Date: 2004-03-04 Member: 27141Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    Very nice.

    Just outta curiosity, how old are you? Writing style is very nice
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    I'm fourteen to be honest. I enjoy writing and have read several novels and use my NS experiences to help with this, I just have some grammar issues.
  • m0nk3ym0nk3y Join Date: 2004-06-21 Member: 29452Members
    thats alright, the majority of the Ns community is around 16-13

    i am 15!

    very good stories, keep it up! <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Thats_EnoughThats_Enough USA Join Date: 2004-03-04 Member: 27141Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    <!--QuoteBegin-m0nk3y+Sep 24 2004, 06:40 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (m0nk3y @ Sep 24 2004, 06:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> thats alright, the majority of the Ns community is around 16-13

    i am 15!

    very good stories, keep it up! <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    So I'm a minority! YAY

    (18 in college <!--emo&;)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> heh)

    And tbh Tharadin, that is VERY well written for only 14. I can only imagine how much better it could all get down the road with some more creative writing classes <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    Keep it up!
  • BerettaBeretta Join Date: 2003-08-16 Member: 19794Members
    Thardin less talk more story!!! <!--emo&::asrifle::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • ShadowHunterShadowHunter Join Date: 2004-09-12 Member: 31644Members
    omg omg omg

    *drools everywhere*

    i love your stories

    any chance you could COMPILE them into 1 and host it when finished

    or if you need a host i can just use my free isp space that has nothing on it <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->

    cos i really wanna get a compiled version <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->:D:D
  • mr_skulkmr_skulk Join Date: 2004-09-05 Member: 31397Members
    *twiddles thumbs whens next one*
  • the_x5the_x5 the Xzianthian Join Date: 2004-03-02 Member: 27041Members, Constellation
    I'll create thread... h/o


    [hold on]
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    Eh? Whats this thread? I suppose I'll wait.

    I'm going to probably write more tomorrow, I've been lacking inspiration of late.
  • ThardinThardin Join Date: 2004-01-05 Member: 25081Members
    Lamdeer's helmed flash light shone down the crater where the explosin occured, he saw only hard gray tiles that were ripped up to show a funny looking dirt, it wasn't a farmer's black, it was black and blue together, for the most odd looking soil he'd seen for awhile.

    His fellow men flanked him on both sides, giving no comment on the situation as Lamdeer's light passed over a ruined gray structure that sputtered electricity every now and then. Most likely the generator.

    Since he knew that his hovering ability would be of great use at this point Lamdeer briefly told them he'd jump first to see if they could survive the fall without servere injury, with that, he felt his suit carry him down faster then an anchor would go through water.

    Lamdeer barely had time to activate his in-built jets and slowly smelled fried flesh, and he could hear a slight moan in the distance even as the suit's vision adjusted to the pitch dark generator room.

    Lamdeer did not give the signal for the others to follow, it was far to deep for them to jump without a broken leg, specially this room could also have hostiles due to the explosion.

    "G....orges." a raspy voice startled Lamdeer as his visor swirled to the ruined generator to see a hand up held, it was accompanied with crimson, the person had not long to live without medical supplies.

    "...they sucked it, I...hehe, destroyed it." the voice held the deepness of a man's, and Lamdeer confirmed it as he saw a bearded man that was in crude TSA armor, as if patched on quickly without knowing proper procedure...

    "...They escaped.....through the door, the rest...." the man began coughing, "please...kill" with that the hand fell, to splash down on the crimson lake that enveloped the man, Lamdeer saw the injury was caused by sharpel pieces that penertrated, no, impaled the man from the side.

    With no time to waste, with hostiles Lamdeer gave a brief message to the other two to wait there, to flee if Lamdeer's vitality signs went off-line from a radio like unit that determinded fatility on heart beat regulation and body warmth.

    With that, Lamdeer saw the opened door, it was nearly ripped off it's hinges and hung open appealingly, to escape the smell of fried flesh and iron smell of blood, to get out of this room gave Lamdeer the edge he'd need to track down the gorges.
  • Thats_EnoughThats_Enough USA Join Date: 2004-03-04 Member: 27141Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd-fix.gif' /><!--endemo--> I want one of those suits for halloween.
  • ShadowHunterShadowHunter Join Date: 2004-09-12 Member: 31644Members
    whens next part up <!--emo&:)--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Commander_JAGCommander_JAG Join Date: 2002-11-05 Member: 6956Members
    edited October 2004
    Thardin, you didn't die or somthing, did you?!? <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin-fix.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • Thats_EnoughThats_Enough USA Join Date: 2004-03-04 Member: 27141Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
    *files a missing person's report*

    <!--emo&:0--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif' /><!--endemo-->
  • drakathdrakath Join Date: 2004-10-10 Member: 32200Members
    Well I hope it is just a small computer problem, or connection problem...because I do want to find out the end to this story...I just started reading this story today, and its well done, grammar isn't so bad as long as its understandable. Very well done for a person of his age.

    Now one thing, thats just making me a little picky, hehe slugs, don't have pellets, slugs are solid pieces of metal, "shots" or normal shotgun shells have pellets, slugs, and large slugs of metal...they usually have much more of a punch on a single target.

    But its your story, its in the future, and our physics, and definition systems don't have to comply to those standards.

    Keep going with the stories, I enjoy reading at work <!--emo&:p--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->

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