Alone In The Dark Movie Trailer

TenSixTenSix Join Date: 2002-11-09 Member: 7932Members
edited August 2004 in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">Uwe Boll + $30M = Ugliness</div> First watch the trailer (its unrated, but content is PG-13):

<a href='http://www.boll-kg.de/neues/aitd_trailer_large.htm' target='_blank'>http://www.boll-kg.de/neues/aitd_trailer_large.htm</a>

Ok, are you back? Yes?
Did you enjoy the horribly done shootout?
The atrocious acting?
The Playstation level CG?

<b>Think you could endure 2 hours of that?</b>

Now gently weep, because the guy who directed the ugliness of what you just saw is going to be doing the Bloodrayne and Farcry movies as well.

EDIT: Honest to God I think they used some sound effects from Counter-Strike.
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Comments

  • SpoogeSpooge Thunderbolt missile in your cheerios Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 67Members
    Hehe, looks like they were paintballing.

    "You'd never be able to use this key without the little piece of nothing you could have made in your back yard shop with rudimentary hand tools and a couple spare hours!"

    PS: Christian Slater=funny hair <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
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  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    oh good god.

    I guess it makes sense, since the AITD games were just as bad after the first one anyway.

    the first game felt like it was right out of a Lovecraft novel. how they turned that into an AVP clone, I have no idea.
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  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    Uwe Boll really is the worst director ever.
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  • esunaesuna Rock Bottom Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15175Members, Constellation
    A picture says a thousand words.
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  • CrSCrS Join Date: 2004-03-03 Member: 27096Members
    QT is teh pro...
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  • MonkfishMonkfish Sonic-boom-inducing buttcheeks of terrifying speed&#33; Join Date: 2003-06-03 Member: 16972Members
    I love how he does the wussiest underarm throw imaginable and he manages to get that knife in that bloke XD
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  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    Me: aah hah! arch-nemesis Uwe Boll! What evil you planning today?

    Uwe Boll: <img src='http://www.jem-online.co.uk/images/wee_bull.png' border='0' alt='user posted image' />

    Me: is that so? that really evil. I thwart your plan with handy cannon. (how handy!)

    Me: lo Bob.

    Bob: lo. you found my beer cannon!

    Me: beer cannon? nooooooooo!!

    Uwe Boll: <img src='http://members.aol.com/tompfc/photo/boll_1.jpg' border='0' alt='user posted image' />

    Me: You win this time, Uwe Boll <!--emo&:(--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/sad.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='sad.gif' /><!--endemo-->
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  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    y'know... i thought you were just being silly and exaggerating at first. It didn't look too bad; then the 'firefight' broke out o.O
    From there on in it was a screaming downhill apocalypse with each second draining my happiness; the tendon-tearing finale of the 'knife throw' driving the killing blow into any chances of me even remotely thinking about seeing it. I mean holy heck that was pathetic XD

    ~whaps christian slater with a rolled up magazine~ BAD SLATER!!! BAD!!! GO BACK TO DOING REAL MOVIES!!! ~whap~

    The director on the other hand is probably just doing this to take out his hate on the world for giving him a very silly name =3
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  • ShockehShockeh If a packet drops on the web and nobody&#39;s near to see it... Join Date: 2002-11-19 Member: 9336NS1 Playtester, Forum Moderators, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-esuna+Aug 11 2004, 05:13 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (esuna @ Aug 11 2004, 05:13 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> A picture says a thousand words. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    esuna, I love you man. <3
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  • coilcoil Amateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance. Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    I'm supposed to edit out esuna's post. But damn that's funny... and a picture definitely does say a thousand words.

    ...in this case, 500 of them are "ha" and the other 500 are really more incoherent sobbing than words per se.

    Wow.
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  • DOOManiacDOOManiac Worst. Critic. Ever. Join Date: 2002-04-17 Member: 462Members, NS1 Playtester
    Finally, a video game movie to top Super Mario Brothers from its "throne"...


    Really, WTH? It didn't even have ANYTHING to do with the games. I mean at least RE had zombies and that was the only tie, but this had absolutely no tie whatsoever...
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  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    I think Slater's character is Carnaby from the game, but even that's tenous.
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  • BOZOBOZO Join Date: 2002-11-02 Member: 3973Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Supporter, Reinforced - Shadow
    Buhahah! What do you expect from a moive that stars Christian Slater and Tera Reid? A classic? You have to realize this movie was not made for gamers it was made for 13 year olds who think they are "teh ****" cuz they can go see a movie thats rated R and then go home and wank off to Tera. Oh and at the end "The Mystery Begins Fall 2004" all I could think about was Scooby Doo.
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  • pardzhpardzh Join Date: 2002-10-25 Member: 1601Members
    Wow, esuna, that's pretty damn awesome. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
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  • ScinetScinet Join Date: 2003-01-19 Member: 12489Members, Constellation
    To paraphrase Dave Bowman from 2001: A Space Odyssey:
    "Oh my god, it's full of crap!"

    The CGI monster looked sort of okay, but what was the deal with the awful animation? Also, nice use of tracers there. Would have probably looked better if the directing wasn't so ridiculously amateurish. Now it just ends up looking like the silliest shootout ever. And who exactly is alone in the dark there? The CGI boogeyman?

    In conclusion, who are the people stupid enough to finance Uwe Boll's projects? Come on, give me $30m and I'll bypass this turd in quality 100 to 1.
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  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-BOZO+Aug 11 2004, 07:22 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (BOZO @ Aug 11 2004, 07:22 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Buhahah! What do you expect from a moive that stars Christian Slater and Tera Reid? A classic? You have to realize this movie was not made for gamers it was made for 13 year olds who think they are "teh ****" cuz they can go see a movie thats rated R and then go home and wank off to Tera. Oh and at the end "The Mystery Begins Fall 2004" all I could think about was Scooby Doo. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    It's not really Slater's, Reid's or Dorff's fault, although they might be wishing they hadn't signed on for AITD; perhaps they should have read the script first and checked up on the director's credentials.
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  • InfinitumInfinitum Anime Encyclopedia Join Date: 2002-08-08 Member: 1111Members, Constellation
    And now, for no reason whatsoever, some crates in the middle of a gunfight

    *queue angst ridden death metal*
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  • SpoogeSpooge Thunderbolt missile in your cheerios Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 67Members
    So it's the crates that are alone in the dark. It's all coming together now.
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  • ScinetScinet Join Date: 2003-01-19 Member: 12489Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin-Infinitum+Aug 11 2004, 02:12 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Infinitum @ Aug 11 2004, 02:12 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> [img-crates]
    <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Are those frickin' things CGI too? Dear lord...
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  • TequilaTequila Join Date: 2003-08-13 Member: 19660Members
    Won't someone think of the innocent crates?
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  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Members
    edited August 2004
    that was the WORST GUN ANYTHING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

    <i>EVERYONE HAS THEIR FINGERS ON THE TRIGGER EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT GOING TO SHOOT!! OMGGGG</i>


    /me commits suicide
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  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    Y'know... if you want to really make this worse, just remember that trailers usually just show the best parts of the film ^~
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  • SpoogeSpooge Thunderbolt missile in your cheerios Join Date: 2002-01-25 Member: 67Members
    Checking up on our new favorite movie director, I stumbled across this little hidden treasure:

    <!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->10. What is the one project that you've always wanted to do, but have yet to be able to?

    Uwe Boll: <b>I hope I can do a Lord of the Rings type movie out of Warcraft or Dungeon Siege. </b>
    <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->

    phear.
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  • GeminosityGeminosity :3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
    I just realised this guy directed the House of the Dead Movie...

    x.X
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  • TransmissionTransmission Join Date: 2003-03-12 Member: 14456Members
    Is this a joke? This looks like a low budget movie from 10 years ago. And the acting is pitiful. This is the kind of movie rent with friends just to make fun of it.


    Favorite scene:
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  • KillymageeKillymagee Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 3136Members
    This trailer made no sense what so ever and looked so retarded, DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!!.... oh and Uwe Boll needs to die..
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  • DrSuredeathDrSuredeath Join Date: 2002-11-11 Member: 8217Members
    What the hell does this thing have to do with Alone in the Dark.
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  • docchimpydocchimpy Join Date: 2003-07-19 Member: 18266Members
    edited August 2004
    I'm going to make a movie about Uwe Boll's life. It's going to be some sort of homosexual porno. WHO'S TAKING SOMETHING AND MAKING A HORRIBLE MOCKERY OF IT NOW? LOOKS LIKE THE JOKE'S ON YOU, UWE!
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  • MantridMantrid Lockpick Join Date: 2003-12-07 Member: 24109Members
    <!--QuoteBegin-docchimpy+Aug 11 2004, 03:25 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (docchimpy @ Aug 11 2004, 03:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I'm going to make a movie about Uwe Boll's life. It's going to be some sort of homosexual porno. WHO'S TAKING SOMETHING AND MAKING A HORRIBLE MOCKERY OF IT NOW? LOOKS LIKE THE JOKE'S ON YOU, UWE! <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    I just burst out laughing. You're lucky I wasn't drinking anything at the moment.
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  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
    God damn it. And my friends, it gets worse!!!!

    Mr. Uwe Boll's directing the Far Cry Movie!:
    <a href='http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400426/' target='_blank'>http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400426/</a>

    YAY!

    Anyway, as for Alone in the Dark, can anyone explan to me the second and third one? I only played/beat the first game, and I kinda saw a bit of the fourth.
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