Moderately Funny Stuff
UltimaGecko
hates endnotes Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Members
hates endnotes Join Date: 2003-05-14 Member: 16320Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">...well, I think so, anyway.</div> So, somewhere around here there's a recent thread about "Ohh, the negativity, it hurts - oi - fraunlavin!" So, based on something in a different forum I wrote, for an almost completely different reason, I present to you a 'funny' poem (hopefully it's funny at least <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> ).
Feel free to make your own, with any structure you want. Just try to be humorous, at least. None of the melancholy poems, thanks - got plenty of those written by myself.
So, I present to you "The Fat man" based on the concept of my dad (no disrespect intended if he's looking down on it <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--> ):
(you might want to pay attention to the punctuation for the psuedo story, instead of just going with the rhymey-ness - also note that it was written in about half an hour, so it might not be generally fluid or something)
"The Fat Man"
<i>Down by the murky ol? Wisconsin river
I?ve got a story that?ll make you quiver.
About a large purple van,
And an obscenely fat man.
Every day, twenty-four hours long
He must be doin? something wrong.
What?s inside will be shockin?
Because the van ?ll be rockin?.
Strange sounds come from within
So, you just can?t tell with his grin
What could be happening inside,
It seems like such a bumpy ride.
So, always the van will bounce
And his groans will announce
That something must be missin?-
Despite you wont want to listen
To what goes down in that machine.
Anyways, Your face will be green
When I tell you the fantastic news:
That he?s just putting on his shoes.</i>
So, make some funny poems and short stories already <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> .
Feel free to make your own, with any structure you want. Just try to be humorous, at least. None of the melancholy poems, thanks - got plenty of those written by myself.
So, I present to you "The Fat man" based on the concept of my dad (no disrespect intended if he's looking down on it <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo--> ):
(you might want to pay attention to the punctuation for the psuedo story, instead of just going with the rhymey-ness - also note that it was written in about half an hour, so it might not be generally fluid or something)
"The Fat Man"
<i>Down by the murky ol? Wisconsin river
I?ve got a story that?ll make you quiver.
About a large purple van,
And an obscenely fat man.
Every day, twenty-four hours long
He must be doin? something wrong.
What?s inside will be shockin?
Because the van ?ll be rockin?.
Strange sounds come from within
So, you just can?t tell with his grin
What could be happening inside,
It seems like such a bumpy ride.
So, always the van will bounce
And his groans will announce
That something must be missin?-
Despite you wont want to listen
To what goes down in that machine.
Anyways, Your face will be green
When I tell you the fantastic news:
That he?s just putting on his shoes.</i>
So, make some funny poems and short stories already <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo--> .
Comments
his poetry caused only an echo,
he rhymed long into the night,
bringing himself much delight,
but the forumites left very sicko!
Edit: great Izzard quote. Beef up the grief!
His irony sharp as a scraper
He shot down some hopes
Burnt up some dreams
And now the poor Gecko's a leper
Thank you.
Coolsville.
This is the tale of Sonia Snell,
To whom an accident befell.
An accident which may well seem
Embarrassing in the extreme.
It happened, as it does to many,
That Sonia had to spend a penny.
She entered in with modest grace
The properly appointed place
Provided at the railway station,
And there she sat in meditation,
Unfortunately unacquainted
The woodwork had been newly painted
Which made poor Sonia realise
Her inability to rise.
And though she struggled, pulled and yelled
She found that she was firmly held.
She raised her voice in mournful shout
"Please someone come and help me out."
Her cries for help then quickly brought
A crowd of every kind and sort.
They stood around and feebly snigered (forum doesn't like sniger with 2 Gs..)
And all they said was "I'll be jiggered."
"Gor blimey" said the ancient porter
"We ought to soak her off with water."
The Station Master and the staff
Were most perverse and did not laugh
But lugged at Sonia's hands and feet
And could not get her off the seat.
The carpenter arrived at last
And, finding Sonia still stuck fast
Remarked "I know what I can do',
And neatly sawed the seat right through.
Sonia arose, only to find
A wooden halo on behind.
An ambulance came down the street
And bore her off, complete with seat
To take the wooden bustled gal
Off quickly to the hospital.
They hurried Sonia off inside
After a short but painful ride
And seizing her by heels and head
Laid her face down on the bed.
The doctors all came on parade
To render her immediate aid.
A surgeon said "Upon my word
Could anything be more absurd,
Have any of you, I implore,
Seen anything like this before?"
"Yes" said a student, unashamed,
"Frequently... but never framed."
-Cyril Fletcher
"An injustice!", Flint Paper lamented,
just reply with a rhyme,
lots of fun every time,
unless it's a limerick that doesn't work properly.
for hours he'd been stroking his chin,
but he finally knew why,
that nobody would try,
"they're all too busy looking at quim!"
championing Eddie Guerrero,
for his five-star frog splash,
performed in a flash,
discombobulated Mr Kevin Nash.
championing Eddie Guerrero,
for his five-star frog splash,
performed in a flash,
discombobulated Mr Kevin Nash. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
9/10
When he stand he sit almost;
When he hop he fly almost.
He ain't got no sense hardly;
He ain't got no tail hardly either,
When he sit, he sit on what he ain't got, almost.
When he stand he sit almost;
When he hop he fly almost.
He ain't got no sense hardly;
He ain't got no tail hardly either,
When he sit, he sit on what he ain't got, almost. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo--> Reminds me of Shel Silverstein.
It hovered
Without flapping
And ate for christ
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Oh Emm Eff Gee M8
Whack whack whack beat that dead horse
Roflcopters fly