Monster Is Updated

DeepShadowsDeepShadows Join Date: 2003-02-11 Member: 13408Members, Constellation Posts: 248
edited June 2004 in Fan-Fiction Forum
for those who didn't know
Many might have been used to people's commentary in the main monster thread, upposed to updates. Well, just saying... the story is upgdated. chapter 32 and 33 are complete.

http://nsmonster.tripod.com/part32.html





enjoy, you monkeys
Post edited by Unknown User on

Comments

  • ParhelionParhelion Join Date: 2003-05-29 Member: 16821Members, NS1 Playtester Posts: 452
    edited June 2004
    • "I was flustered enough that, when bishop leapt out the window, I followed him." - "Bishop" (32)
    • "If they can appear on vessels undetected, apparently from space, and formulate into a fully supported echo system in a matter of hours, then they shouldn’t need to compete for survival." - ecosystem (33)
    • "In reality however, this is absurd." - I would put a comma before "however", simply because that's how I've been taught. Your grammatical style may differ (as I believe it has in the past). (33)
    • "...able to match our intelligence in tact..." - in tact? intact? (33)
    • "If so, I would like to applaud the mad scientists who single handedly created life..." - I would remove the space between "single" and "handedly", or at least hyphenate the two words. (33)
    • "The truth is still hidden, and I fear we may not be prepared for the answers when the come." - "they" (33)
    As always, very intriguing - will await more when it comes. There are more corrections in the update thread, so if you haven't looked at them (of course, if you want to) then you can find them there.

    Keep it up smile.gif
    image
    image PAPT
  • DeepShadowsDeepShadows Join Date: 2003-02-11 Member: 13408Members, Constellation Posts: 248
    I've actually done most of your corrections all through the update thread. Thx much for them smile.gif I've even noticed some when I reread the story, more than I'd hope to find. Thanks for the edits, as always.
  • ParhelionParhelion Join Date: 2003-05-29 Member: 16821Members, NS1 Playtester Posts: 452
    No problems at all smile.gif
    image
    image PAPT
  • PFCNublarPFCNublar Join Date: 2003-04-23 Member: 15792Members Posts: 1,297
    edited June 2004
    Chapter 32 was a downer obviously with Bishop getting killed albeit in a heroic fashion. I hope Chapter 34 will be much happier for our protagonists.

    Was Chapter 33 a secret gripe about how current games of NS on pubs are going tounge.gif?

    EDIT: Chapter numbers were off. Fixed.
    "Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."
    - General Douglas MacArthur

    Touche.
  • Soul_RiderSoul_Rider Mod Bean Join Date: 2004-06-19 Member: 29388Members, Constellation, Squad Five Blue Posts: 4,268 Advanced user
    This without doubt the best piece of fan fiction I have read. Do you have any idea how long it's going to be? Or how long before the next few chapters are updated?

    I really can't wait for the story to continue. I would see about the possibility of getting it published when it is finished, it is fantastic.
    Games:Subnautica Fan Game Mods: GorgeCraft & CTF & Proving Grounds Website: andysoulrider.uk
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    Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
    Knowledge is gained through listening, Understanding is gained through discussion.
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