Game Pr Catchphrases
<div class="IPBDescription">What they really Mean</div> Ala SomethingAwful:
<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2220' target='_blank'>Game PR Catchphrases: What They Really Mean</a>
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: (for a game based on a movie) "We worked hand in hand with the film makers to bring you a cinematic experience that truly lets you live the movie from start to finish. The screenwriter himself collaborated on the project, so this is more than just a movie tie-in: it's practically a sequel."
Indicates: You'll get to be all up in the movie, and will get a story just as entertaining and deep as the film. The director really cares about the game and considers it to be just as important as the movie. You'll need to play the game to fully understand the film.
True Meaning:Are you kidding? We put this game together in less than a year. We asked the screenwriter if people shooting at each other sounded okay with him, and he shrugged and said "sure". We called the director once to ask what a few of the locations looked like. Remember that one hallway in that one scene? And the woods someone drove by? We put those in the game. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “Epic online gameplay that pushes the bounds of your playing experience that force teams to work together in completion of your goals”
Indicates: It will be a fun, enthralling experience in which teams play together and win together.
True Meaning: Most players will attempt to complete goals solo since the rest of their team don't give two ***** about teamwork, or the objectives but do want to get to the top of the scoreboard. These people will probably kill you for your vehicle. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “For this sequel we have tried to remove everything people didn’t like, like the 30 min. train ride in the beginning, and replace it with new things in the sequel!”
Indicates: We have taken out everything that sucks, and put in new stuff that kicks ****. There is no way now that this game can suck
True Meaning: We actually left in the train ride, and the new stuff we have added are things you will probably hate, like jumping puzzles with things falling from overhead. See the physics in action! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “Dynamic character creation!”
Indicates: You can create any character you could possibly imagine. Want your 90 year old grandma to be the hero? You can have that!
True Meaning: Whoa! You get four different hats to choose from! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<a href='http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2220' target='_blank'>Game PR Catchphrases: What They Really Mean</a>
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: (for a game based on a movie) "We worked hand in hand with the film makers to bring you a cinematic experience that truly lets you live the movie from start to finish. The screenwriter himself collaborated on the project, so this is more than just a movie tie-in: it's practically a sequel."
Indicates: You'll get to be all up in the movie, and will get a story just as entertaining and deep as the film. The director really cares about the game and considers it to be just as important as the movie. You'll need to play the game to fully understand the film.
True Meaning:Are you kidding? We put this game together in less than a year. We asked the screenwriter if people shooting at each other sounded okay with him, and he shrugged and said "sure". We called the director once to ask what a few of the locations looked like. Remember that one hallway in that one scene? And the woods someone drove by? We put those in the game. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “Epic online gameplay that pushes the bounds of your playing experience that force teams to work together in completion of your goals”
Indicates: It will be a fun, enthralling experience in which teams play together and win together.
True Meaning: Most players will attempt to complete goals solo since the rest of their team don't give two ***** about teamwork, or the objectives but do want to get to the top of the scoreboard. These people will probably kill you for your vehicle. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “For this sequel we have tried to remove everything people didn’t like, like the 30 min. train ride in the beginning, and replace it with new things in the sequel!”
Indicates: We have taken out everything that sucks, and put in new stuff that kicks ****. There is no way now that this game can suck
True Meaning: We actually left in the train ride, and the new stuff we have added are things you will probably hate, like jumping puzzles with things falling from overhead. See the physics in action! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “Dynamic character creation!”
Indicates: You can create any character you could possibly imagine. Want your 90 year old grandma to be the hero? You can have that!
True Meaning: Whoa! You get four different hats to choose from! <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Comments
"Fight your way through a level completing mission-based-goals against an army of enemies."
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Seriously, that was text inside the cover flap to get you to buy the game.
Different hats <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif' /><!--endemo-->
"Fight your way through a level completing mission-based-goals against an army of enemies."
<!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html//emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif' /><!--endemo-->
Seriously, that was text inside the cover flap to get you to buy the game. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Dikatana mb?
Indicates: Lots of game for your buck. You should definitely buy instead of renting.
True Meaning: Our testers get paid by the hour. The game will be five hours long; three if you hold down the A button through the dialogue which mostly consists of "..."<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Heh. Hello mr. Payne. :P
I can't...... but then not all of us love the smell of our own excrement.
Could cheerfully throttle the PR people, if they'd any self respect they'd play the game first, then quit the company.
Tho on the other hand... have you noticed how we can tell the bad games apart because of their blurb? Perhaps there's some kind souls in PR who are using the same phrases. Sort of like:
"Ok they used this on MOO3's box, and on X-Com Apocalypse's box... lets use it on this new game, and that way we can warn the initiated"
Usually something like "An Infogrames game"
Indicates: Instead of being simply a rehash of the earlier titles, this will be a wholly new game that builds on the successes of the previous games, removes the failures, and adds new and innovative features.
True Meaning: The one title where they didn't rehash earlier titles didn't sell well, so this will simply be a rehash of earlier titles. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: "It's a sequel to last year's bestselling game, with an all-new engine and great new features!"
Indicates: We decided to improve on every aspect of our previous game and release a sequel with new content that will be far more fun than last year's game.
True Meaning: The same game on the same engine with some buggy additions and some new maps that aren't as good.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
*Cough* EpicGames, anyone?
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “We've made minor refinements to this edition but gamers can expect the true gaming they love”
Indicates: Gamers worried about the state of their favorite franchise should be relieved to hear that it won't be changing much and will be slightly updated.
True Meaning: **** you fans, we got your $50, enjoy your 2 new sprites <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
GG Tribes Vengeance
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: "Thousands of players wage war on a planetary scale."
Indicates: It's LIKE a normal first person shooter, but we made it so A THOUSAND PEOPLE CAN PLAY AT ONCE. Forget 64 person Tribes servers! A THOUSAND freaking PEOPLE!
True Meaning: We've divided up the game world so it's just like dozens of 20 person skirmishes, except with frustrating waits after dying, crippling lag, and utterly retarded gameplay.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html//emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif' /><!--endemo-->
I give your lack of truly worthwhile, inspired, non-spam posts a "meh".
Indicates: This game will be accessible and enjoyable for both PC gamers and console enthusiasts without compromising in either respect.
True Meaning: We've wised up to the fact that even a half-assed console game will sell approximately seven billion million and one more units than the best-selling PC game in history. With phat bling bling money ciz-a$h as our guiding principle, you can sleep easy in the knowledge that we're making a mediocre console title and then shoehorning that into a truly abysmal PC version in hopes of retaining some shred of credibility. But don't worry super sleuths! A cursory review of any of the game's .ini files will expose our cunning scheme, so just think of this as a pre-ported console game for which we've exploited a once proud PC pedigree.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
The sad thing about this, is it's 100% true, and it's exactly where the industry is heading. Thief 3, DX:IW, GTA:SA...
I give your lack of truly worthwhile, inspired, non-spam posts a "meh". <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
i don't
Indicates: I can go online in this MMO and actually role-play. People will actually accomplish something meaningful in the game world. In-game quests and NPCs are actually worth your time, since all NPCs are given a priority.
True Meaning:All zones except BANKS and spawn farms are barren wasteland. NPC's are a cut/paste job of like 5 variations, with computer generated names. Forget communication - only couples and life-long friends ever group. All "strategic" quests are FedEx dungeon crawls and treasures are overrated crap. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
This and the expansion pack one describe Everquest so accurately it's frightening. On the other hand, Everquest is a prime example of trickle-down economics. When it first came out, full bronze and a langseax meant you were leet. Now you see characters in the best stuff that doesn't have a level restriction.
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: "Thousands of players wage war on a planetary scale."
Indicates: It's LIKE a normal first person shooter, but we made it so A THOUSAND PEOPLE CAN PLAY AT ONCE. Forget 64 person Tribes servers! A THOUSAND freaking PEOPLE!
True Meaning:We've divided up the game world so it's just like dozens of 20 person skirmishes, except with frustrating waits after dying, crippling lag, and utterly retarded gameplay.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
They forgot the "Get a Galaxy cert and spend all your time hiding from the myriad Reavers and looking for a spot to land, because dang it, that shrub is more than a match for a race that can travel to other planets."
<!--QuoteBegin--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Quote: “Global interaction allows you to play with thousands of people around the world.“
Indicates: Lots of players with different backgrounds and views on playing the game.
True Meaning: You are going to be destroyed and then taunted by 14 year old Korean kids. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><div class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Ah! Zerg rush! No God, no!
Have fun with your shooter/rpg/completely open-ended/expertly written/realistic/over-the-top/co-op train simulator.