A new self defense course

Comprox

Well, as Arch called it: Comprox-Chi-Po! (fighting with computer parts).

People were discussing various forms of self defense, karate and the such.

Tzarcon> I know kusanagi
Comprox> I know nerd defence 101
Cyanide|wc3> stfu comprox or i will h4x j00.
Comprox> Manuver 1 - Keyboard in the back of the knee, drop large compiling book on head when they fall

(insert praise from IRC fans)

Comprox> lession 2: Take the cable mode, and spin around head with coaxial cable. Smack asailant on head with modem and throw a printout of a BSOD on him as a victory dance

Comprox> lesson 3: The CD case, a nerd throwing star
* Comprox jumps and flips around, firing off CD cases into the target
RoadMaster> Comprox: no, CD cases are too expensive... use old discettes
Humbaba> AOL discs!
Comprox> lesson 4: screw you Humbaba, I was about to say that
Comprox> lession 4a: Mod your computer case into a CD gun, add a CD drive shooter and gather you AOL CD's. Make sure to add a "Awww yeah" sound everytime you shoot

Comprox> lesson 5: Mouse balls..err bombs. Pull out your mouse, pull the ball out and throw before 5 seconds else sufferdamage to self. If needed, go find a health pack and heal

Comprox> lesson 6: Monzi's <a href="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/uploads/post-7-51401-wold2.JPG" target="_blank">http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html....ld2.JPG</a> . Class complete
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Learn all of these tactics, and you earn my award, good job!

Necro

ROFL!

aol disks! a classic!

Nemesis_Zero

This deserves being sticky.

BTW, lesson 7: Take your mouse and headphones by the cables and swing them like a flail.

Lesson 8: Psychological warfare: Do a quick search for pr0n and hit the attacher with your Hi-Fi while he stares at the screen.



<!--EDIT|Nemesis Zero|Oct. 13 2002,15:25-->

CMEast

Lesson 8: make them play CS until they can only speak in l33t speak and then they will fail in life when they cant pronounce everything they want to say.

If these tactics are used against you simply say /me ducks and you will be unharmed.

TychoCelchuuu

Lesson 10, cuz CMEast was supposed to do 9: Purchase all manner of computer self-defense mechanisms at Ty Co. (its a pun, see?) From titanium reinforced keyboards, to mouses weighted <i>just right</i>, Ty Co. has weapons for every gamer's self defense. Call 206-230-4945 for details on our products, and mention order code 64Flay-R4 for a free steel-coated mouse pad (good for whackin'&#33<!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wink.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo-->.

SmokeMasta

my case is bullet proof <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.natural-selection.org/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->
so it can be used as a shield

TychoCelchuuu

Bah, rather take a bullet in the shoulder then have to buy a new case. And after that, you have to plug everything in again. I mean, hospital bills aren't so bad.

SmokeMasta

my case is BULLETPROOF i won't need to buy a new case bullets r stopped be4 they enter

TychoCelchuuu

Kevlar armor is bulletproof, but you need to replace it when shot. Same with every bulletproof thing. And the glass.