Stupid Bank Robber
Quaunaut
The longest seven days in history... Join Date: 2003-03-21 Member: 14759Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
The longest seven days in history... Join Date: 2003-03-21 Member: 14759Members, Constellation, Reinforced - Shadow
<div class="IPBDescription">Just imagine this idiot.</div> <!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--><b>Robber omits eye holes in disguise</b>
<b>By Ty Phillips</b>
--------------------
=THE MODESTO BEE=
<b>MODESTO</b>- At the drawing board, it must have seemed like the perfect crime.
1. Cut out large square of checkered flannel cloth.
2. Drape cloth over head to hide face.
3. Secure Cloth with Hat.
4. Rob Bank.
5. Spend forune.
---However Modesto's latest bank robber forgot one small detail: eye holes.
---So on Monday, as he entered Oak Valley Community Bank at 1419 McHenry Ave., the robber slightly lifted the front corner of the cloth so he could see the floor by his feet, detective Tom Blake said. Lifting it too high would have revealed his face. The obstruction forced him to walk with a noticeable shuffle.
---However, that wasn't the only reason he stood out. The rest of his disguise featured white cloth gardening gloves, long sleeved pink shirt and tight, faded jeans.
---The robber saved his best move for last. After he stashed a undisclosed amount of cash in a blue plastic shopping bag, the teller watched as the man shuffled toward the door, all the while holding up the front corner of his disguise.
---"But he forgets which side the door hinges were on," Blake said. "He walks into the steel door frame, bangs his head onto the frame and knocks his hat off. He backs up a bit, still holding onto his hood, and shuffles out."
---The robber, described as a white man with a skinny build and a raspy voice, shuffled across McHenry Avenue and met with an accomplice. The two men last were seen driving away.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Just imagine being the damned teller....
<b>By Ty Phillips</b>
--------------------
=THE MODESTO BEE=
<b>MODESTO</b>- At the drawing board, it must have seemed like the perfect crime.
1. Cut out large square of checkered flannel cloth.
2. Drape cloth over head to hide face.
3. Secure Cloth with Hat.
4. Rob Bank.
5. Spend forune.
---However Modesto's latest bank robber forgot one small detail: eye holes.
---So on Monday, as he entered Oak Valley Community Bank at 1419 McHenry Ave., the robber slightly lifted the front corner of the cloth so he could see the floor by his feet, detective Tom Blake said. Lifting it too high would have revealed his face. The obstruction forced him to walk with a noticeable shuffle.
---However, that wasn't the only reason he stood out. The rest of his disguise featured white cloth gardening gloves, long sleeved pink shirt and tight, faded jeans.
---The robber saved his best move for last. After he stashed a undisclosed amount of cash in a blue plastic shopping bag, the teller watched as the man shuffled toward the door, all the while holding up the front corner of his disguise.
---"But he forgets which side the door hinges were on," Blake said. "He walks into the steel door frame, bangs his head onto the frame and knocks his hat off. He backs up a bit, still holding onto his hood, and shuffles out."
---The robber, described as a white man with a skinny build and a raspy voice, shuffled across McHenry Avenue and met with an accomplice. The two men last were seen driving away.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Just imagine being the damned teller....
Comments
(unless of course that part was omitted, but you know what I mean.)
(unless of course that part was omitted, but you know what I mean.) <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
He wasn't. Which I too laughed at.
Then again, if I was the guard, I'd let him go- he probably needed the money for brain surgery <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
i could go pickpocketing wearing a rainbow colored wig and a puffy pink shirt and people might think i stood out, but run around a corner and ditch the crazy attire and i bet you 99% of the people wont remember what my face looked like!
I like this one the best...
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Two young larcenists in Florida--14 and 15 to be exact--appeared before Judge Larry Seidlin after stealing their twenty-fifth car in just two short years. After the boys were released, they walked out of the courthouse and realized they did not have bus fare for a ride home. Promptly, the duo stole number twenty-six; they crashed the vehicle into a fence less than an hour later.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thank you <a href='http://www.dumbcriminalacts.com' target='_blank'>DCA!</a>
I like this one the best...
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Two young larcenists in Florida--14 and 15 to be exact--appeared before Judge Larry Seidlin after stealing their twenty-fifth car in just two short years. After the boys were released, they walked out of the courthouse and realized they did not have bus fare for a ride home. Promptly, the duo stole number twenty-six; they crashed the vehicle into a fence less than an hour later.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thank you <a href='http://www.dumbcriminalacts.com' target='_blank'>DCA!</a> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Imo this is the best there.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I like this one the best...
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->Two young larcenists in Florida--14 and 15 to be exact--appeared before Judge Larry Seidlin after stealing their twenty-fifth car in just two short years. After the boys were released, they walked out of the courthouse and realized they did not have bus fare for a ride home. Promptly, the duo stole number twenty-six; they crashed the vehicle into a fence less than an hour later.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Thank you <a href='http://www.dumbcriminalacts.com' target='_blank'>DCA!</a> <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Imo this is the best there.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->An elderly woman spent a leisurely shopping at the mall. Upon return to her vehicle, she found four strange males sitting in her car. Frightened, the woman dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun. She told the men that if they did not get out of the car, she would shoot. The four men ran off quickly, whereupon the lady got into the car. Her key, however, would not fit. The woman realized that her car was the identical one parked a few spaces down. She drove to the police department and reported the story. The officer on duty laughed hysterically and pointed to the other end of the counter where four pale men had reported a hijacking by a mean old lady; no charges were filed.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Oh boy, those were good.
I think i just found my newest source of amusement...