So Much Rage

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

<div class="IPBDescription">Urge...to...kill...rising</div> Right now I hate my life. Nothing seems to going the right way for me for ANYTHING! Ok, I broke up with the old GF that I was unhappy with so I could go out with this new girl, Sarah. Ok, for the last 3 days our hanging out has consisted of a) Sitting in her room, me giving her a backrub while she plays Yahoo games, b) me n' her eating dinner, c) me n' her hanging out with her friends Eric & Stacie.

Normally this wouldn't bug me, as I am a man of great patience but it is also the frigidity of her when I am close. I'll just say that we've been going out a short time and we've been very...intimate. The frigidity is hurting me as she won't even give me a simple kiss unless i'm leaving. The worst part is that a week ago, before I had broken up with the old GF (Whom I haven't mentioned since I got back from the break-up) we were VERY passionate. When it goes from "(Roommate's Name) has class for a couple hours, wanna do some hanky-panky stuff" to *nothing close to hanky-panky, somewhat more like a familiar relationship* IT HURTS.

The next thing is that she is ALWAYS talking about her Ex-boyfriend's, saying things like "oh one time we did this" and so on and so on. Now when you've asked someone not to talk about their ONE ex, do you think it's exactly nice to go about talking about your seven or eight Ex*s. And the worst part of her talking about her Ex*s is that she constantly sounds happier when she is talking about them. She's also just got a job on campus, she's gonna be on the Hockey team, she has like 2-3 hours of homework every night and she goes to bed by 11pm. At this rate, it'll be more stress-relieving to go out, buy a CAR-15 and just take all the empty beercans and practice some 5.56mm skeet shooting.

Now onto my mother. She called me like 40 minutes ago, saying "Why the hell did you plug the DVD player in when you came to visit? Now you screwed up all the stuff in back of the TV and I can't get the VCR working and it's your fault" and so on. Now understand that I had to jury-rig the entire thing last time I came to visit because she had it on a very faulty setup. Normally my mother b!tching @ me wouldn't bug me nearly so much if it wasn't for the fact that I can't do a single god*damn thing about the fact that I messed up the jury rigging and I can't fix it. I live a 2 or so hour drive away, so I can't come home for the night and fix it but still she needs to **** @ me. So I called her back about 30 minutes ago. She answers the phone yelling "WHAT?!?". I say "Generic greeting", she **** at me and then says she'll call me back, she has to undo all the wires in the back of the TV area.

<img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/pudgy.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='pudgy.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/skulk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/asrifle.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='asrifle.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tiny.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tiny.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/turret.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='turret.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/lerk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='lerk.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/nerd.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/lerk.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='lerk.gif'> <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/fade.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='fade.gif'>
(Random stress vent)

God*damn it, these people don't know that i'm already under enough freaking stress, having to deal with my own college life and they expect me to be completely subservient to them?

At least I managed to burn some stress by building my two new Gundam kits last night & today. If I hadn't built them, not only would I NOT be classifying myself as a total geek but i'd also have snapped Sarah's neck in half today when she was in a pissy mood and then got **** @ me when I mimicked her in a pissy mood.

TenSix · September 2003

Ok, lets take a step into the reality of this situation:

1) She is causing you great stress, since it seems you just don't want to come out and ask her whats up (which it seems would be the obvious answer) it begs to question why you are still with her.

If she won't tell you whats wrong, then Im not sure if it can get anymroe obvious that either a) she is emotionally messed up or b) you guys really don't know eachother THAT well.

2) Tell your mom that if she wishes to complain about not being able to use the VCR, that it would be your pleasure to go and take the DVD player for your own use or for sale on Ebay.

3) Your asking about girlfriends on the Natural Selection forums? Come on now.

<Incoming thread lock in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...>

eediot · September 2003

there isnt a law somewhere that says "you need to have a GF."

if youre not happy, ditch her, or just swear a bit at her

you can be pissy too, they cant have it all to themselves

and next time she even MENTIONS her ex-bf just tell her "i wish you'd SUYF about your ex-boyfriends. it really sh*ts me."

be aggressive, and they will learn <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

The problem is that the DVD player is really my PS2. No way in hell am I selling that on eBay.

I've come out and asked her what's wrong and she says nothing...but she has that look in her eye like something is troubling her soul but she doesn't feel I am strong enough to handle it.

We start a relationship based on pretty much one thing, sex, and now that she's being frigid it's...painful.

eediot · September 2003

dont base a relationship around sex <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

and its fine for her not to tell you something, if she feels you cant handle it, but if its something thats coming between you, then its gotta go

may as well be frigid to her, as well. unless shes getting it somewhere else =/ so youre screwed

ummm ramble ramble pretty much just be aggressive

Unknown · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (eediot @ Sep 19 2003, 11:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> dont base a relationship around sex  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
Yes, leads to problems later on, dont just have a gf for that reason.

Marine0I · September 2003

I'd have to back up eediot. I have NEVER ever seen any reliable advice that supported the basing of a relationship on sex.

The only people I have seen who support that are womens mags, but seeing as they take love advice from the biggest relationship losers ever (read hollywood stars), they have absolutely nothing to offer.

I cringed when I read that you broke up with your old GF that you were unhappy with to go out with this other girl. I could see the disaster about to unfold, and I hadnt even read the rest of it.... To me, that either sounds like a classic rebound, or emotional dependence ie a person who needs a gf not because he feels the woman is anything special, but merely for emotion support or a satisfying physical desires.

Smoke_Nova · September 2003

The thing is...I don't need her as a GF. I was happy when we were friends *ok, I was more the bodyguard so her creepy stalker wouldn't...well, stalk her*

I don't know...sometimes I wonder if i'm at all cut out to exist in this society. I'd be better suited as one of those eunuch warrior-bodyguards of medieval times. Women in general are so confusing to me.

Oh well, I was a lonely geek before all this, i'll be the lonely geek after all this.

*goes to find M-I:2 soundtrack for Metallica's "Stand Alone", realizes he's in college with no music CD's, cries*

Marine0I · September 2003

Women are in general confusing to ever male that ever existed. You only get past it with experience.

And lol at lonely geek comment. Quite hard for me to swallow after you just dumped one woman for another. Obviously you are not completely unattractive if you actually have the OPTION of dumping your GF. Standard lonely geek has yet to even have a standard conversation with a woman without saying something really stupid and making her never talk to him again.

No, you would not be better of as a Eunach, really trust me on that one. I have read studies about what castration really does to the males and its more than just a loss of sexual urge. Its a complete psychological overhaul, and not in a good way.

Coming here to vent is great, what you feel is written down and other people are sharing or at least getting an insight into what you are going through, but dont read into the advice too much. And I realise that includes mine. Just wing it, everyone else has.

Soylent_green · September 2003

Avoid caffeine when you are allready somewhat stressed too...(it triggers the release of stress hormones, and if you are allready feeling bad and stressed...)

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>Women are in general confusing to ever male that ever existed. You only get past it with experience.
</td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'>
I never wanted a girl friend so I never treated women like they where 'aliens', just talk to them like you talk to men and you can avoid that whole relationship thing <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'> (I have a few friends who happen to be women but not girlfriends, ever, and thats a good thing as far as I'm concerned.)

Those relationships based on sex are just stupid... I mean we all have hands <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'>...

torque · September 2003

Um... I'm a weird girl, so take this at face value.

Yeah. Don't base relationships on sex, unless you both know that that's all there's ever going to be.

TALK TO HER. Nothing messes up relationships more than not talking. If she won't talk back ("oh, it's nothing" syndrome), then you're in for a rough road. Up to you to decide whether it's worth it or not to walk. I'd bet it's not going to last long, though, unless both of you are talking regularly through things.

I was really antisocial +geek for most of my life (wait, I still am) so I didn't think I had enough experience to deal with men OR women in relationships, especially romantic ones. But you know what? Everyone's got to start somewhere. Some of us just start later in life.

Soylent green, just talking to women like you talk to men sometimes doesn't work, 'cause... we're like... not men. Sometimes it does, though. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'> As for your last line about how we have hands... BEST LINE EVER. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'>

Bosnian_Cowboy · September 2003

I have no girlfriend, no life, hardly any friends, and I'm happy. I hate to sound cheesy, but it just might be Jesus. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'>

TenSix · September 2003

I'm with Bosnian.

Marine0I · September 2003

</span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (Bosnian @ Sep 20 2003, 05:25 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I have no girlfriend, no life, hardly any friends, and I'm happy. I hate to sound cheesy, but it just might be Jesus. <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'>  </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> 
Does Jesus know you are reading the Qu'ran? <img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'>

AllUrHiveRblong2us · September 2003

I agree with a lot of the advice that's been given, just talk to her, you don't have to be really overt about wanting to know what's wrong with her, you don't even need to talk with her about that, but talk about something! You need to make small talk like there's no tomorrow, heck, it couldn't even hurt to come off as nearly desperate to talk to her. If you get her to talk to you about how things are going in her life in other areas, you'll be able to peice together what's going on eventually. A bonus of this is that if you start the conversations you can take steps to keep her boyfriends out of em. And about the physical thing, you say that when she is playing games, you're giving her a backrub, well there are other things you can do besides that. Be more affectionate when you're around her, when she is on the comp is the best time to do this, you don't even need to get a response out of her immediately, eventually she'll realise what you're telling her.

And as for the mother, there's nothing anyone can do about the fact that parents suck, sorry.

Delarosa · September 2003

i can't say that i've been in your position. but i am sorry you are having such a bad time...

you can tell your mother to "go off somewhere" if you wish... that would make her mad, but put it in perspective... you have things closer (in distance) that are troubleing you...

deal what hurts the most first...

if your G/F is more of a pain in the rear than your mother, go to her first...

next time she wants to sit at the computer, sit there first... having a girl in my lap seems to calm me down.

So Much Rage

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