Teh Madness.... Everywar... Teh Madnes!
<div class="IPBDescription">And its's efecting mah spellig.</div> Do ye not see the madness around you, humanity? The anger over rumours that half-life 2 has been delayed and that it won't work on Nvidia cards, the frustration at Steam being a pile of crap (allegidly), the inbalance of 2.0 which some people are STILL whining at.... not to mention the anger at RIAA and polititians in general.
You know what this means?
THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!! AAAARGH!!!!!
O.k, seriously though, I just posted this because I realised how much negativity is going around at the moment. I think we all need to take a chill pill (not literally) and calm down.
Always remind yourself: Half-life 2 is coming. Soon it will be here and everything will be all right. And the rumours are not true, it WILL work on your graphics card, and it WILL be released this month. How do I know?
These times may test your faith bretheren, but fear not! We are the true believers, and Flayra the almighty will surely deliver us from evil! All hail Flayra!
Now open your hymnbooks to page 17, "Boondock marines".
[/attempted humour]
So seriously, relax, chill, play NS (until WON goes down, but let's not think about that), and I hereby devote the rest of this thread to miscellaneous funny stuff, i.e, webpages, jokes e.t.c
Here's one to start you off:
Things you don't want to hear from tech support
1. Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy?
2. ... that's right, not even MacGyver could fix it.
3. So -- what are you wearing?
4. Bummer Duuuuuuuude.
5. Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n.
6. Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you're with the FTC.
7. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.
8. I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't do that.
9. In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.
10. Hold on a second....... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!
Oh, and this:
<u>Computer Problem Report Form</u>
1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse? Yes__
10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
__________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
__________________________________________
17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
__________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__
You know what this means?
THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!!! AAAARGH!!!!!
O.k, seriously though, I just posted this because I realised how much negativity is going around at the moment. I think we all need to take a chill pill (not literally) and calm down.
Always remind yourself: Half-life 2 is coming. Soon it will be here and everything will be all right. And the rumours are not true, it WILL work on your graphics card, and it WILL be released this month. How do I know?
These times may test your faith bretheren, but fear not! We are the true believers, and Flayra the almighty will surely deliver us from evil! All hail Flayra!
Now open your hymnbooks to page 17, "Boondock marines".
[/attempted humour]
So seriously, relax, chill, play NS (until WON goes down, but let's not think about that), and I hereby devote the rest of this thread to miscellaneous funny stuff, i.e, webpages, jokes e.t.c
Here's one to start you off:
Things you don't want to hear from tech support
1. Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy?
2. ... that's right, not even MacGyver could fix it.
3. So -- what are you wearing?
4. Bummer Duuuuuuuude.
5. Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n.
6. Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you're with the FTC.
7. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.
8. I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't do that.
9. In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.
10. Hold on a second....... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!
Oh, and this:
<u>Computer Problem Report Form</u>
1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse? Yes__
10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
__________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
__________________________________________
17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
__________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__
Comments
Neither do I tbh but there you go, I was bored. Still am actually.
Over here in England, we are not graced by the glory that is Sealab, and I am a better person for watching it.
That is all.
"Uh-oh!"