How To Destroy Your Computer!

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Comments

  • Smoke_NovaSmoke_Nova Join Date: 2002-11-15 Member: 8697Members
    AOL = EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL MUSHROOM MUSHROOM

    sorry, it's stuck in my head


    I know the ultimate way to destroy a computer - Get my mother to use it. Guaranteed Critical Error @ windows startup.
  • That_Annoying_KidThat_Annoying_Kid Sire of Titles Join Date: 2003-03-01 Member: 14175Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--DOOManiac+Sep 7 2003, 05:26 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Sep 7 2003, 05:26 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I'm quite suprised that they did not suggest placing cell phones, speakers, and other items which can cause damage to a monitor on top of said device. I was also shocked that there were no suggestions to attatch pretty magnets to the case in the general vicinity of the hard drive.

    Otherwise its a pretty good article. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    yes, the lack of that disturbed me, but oh well, it was a great article nonetheless
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    My very first IT job after I graduated college was at a private mental institution (I was their entire IT dept.). Since this was back in the mid 90's, before anyone had a concept of computing being a separate business entity, I was under the Accounting dept. My boss, bless her heart, was a great accountant and a nice lady, but she was terrible with computers. She sent me an email one day complaining that her laptop (a Compaq Armada 486!) was being flaky. I walked into her office and found that she had *covered* the thing in large refrigerator magnets to make it 'look a little nicer'. Since this was back in the bad old days of low magnetic shielding, the doggone computer was having a nice little seisure.
  • JaneJane Seriously&#33;? Join Date: 2003-07-01 Member: 17835Members, Constellation
    lol, yeah magnets just kind skew the color a bit in monitors nowadays... not that I'd know or anything....
  • tankefugltankefugl One Script To Rule Them All... Trondheim, Norway Join Date: 2002-11-14 Member: 8641Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    edited September 2003
    Well.

    One of my first jobs were at the IT dept. at a hospital. On my first day at job, I got called by a surgeon who had some problems using his computer. So I went over there, and gave him some step-by-step help.

    Me: "Ok, now you press the button far to the left."
    He moves his mouse to the left.
    Mouse stops as it hits the side of the keyboard.
    Surgeon gets a puzzled look in his face: "It stopped."
    Me (in disbelief): "..."
    Surgeon (annoyed): "It stopped!"
    Me: "Yes, you must lift the mouse."
    He lifts the mouse and drags it over the keyboard.
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    edited September 2003
    OK, now we make the first incision and... OMG WTH HAX WHO PUT THIS SKULL IN THE WAY OF THE BRAIN I WAS TRYING TO FIX!?!?!?!?!
  • tankefugltankefugl One Script To Rule Them All... Trondheim, Norway Join Date: 2002-11-14 Member: 8641Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Constellation, NS2 Playtester, Squad Five Blue
    OMG!! We lost the patient! N00B PATIENT!!!11


    ... Oh, right. On topic again. -ish.

    Computer illiteracy is a sad but yet so funny problem.
  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Sep 9 2003, 08:35 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Sep 9 2003, 08:35 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> My very first IT job after I graduated college was at a private mental institution (I was their entire IT dept.). Since this was back in the mid 90's, before anyone had a concept of computing being a separate business entity, I was under the Accounting dept. My boss, bless her heart, was a great accountant and a nice lady, but she was terrible with computers. She sent me an email one day complaining that her laptop (a Compaq Armada 486!) was being flaky. I walked into her office and found that she had *covered* the thing in large refrigerator magnets to make it 'look a little nicer'. Since this was back in the bad old days of low magnetic shielding, the doggone computer was having a nice little seisure. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    rofl.





    By the way, Our librarian at our highschool still had a 5 some odd inch floppy (Monse, you remember these) So one day she said "Blake how do I get it to work with a 3 and a half floppy drive" I said "Cut it down two inches with some scissors" I was joking, but apparently she didn't know that.... <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Smoke_NovaSmoke_Nova Join Date: 2002-11-15 Member: 8697Members
    hell, my old 486 still has a 5" Floppy drive.



    ROLFMAO @ tankefugl's stupid surgeon story.
  • MajinMajin Join Date: 2003-05-29 Member: 16829Members, Constellation
    Next tip
    "HOW TO SADDER YOUR OWN SILICON CARDS"
    If you think that your computer may not be working, why not open the case and take a saddering gun to the motherboard and componits.
    Better yet if you work in construction, a Plasma cutter works in half the time with 40 times the amount of results!
    Buy my instructional video for only 29.95 and I will throw in this
    /holds up vile of mercury
    Its great for cleaning that dead skin off your body and you wont believe the wonders it can do for your computer!
    Thats not all
    If you call in the next 10 mins I'll throw in a heavy duty malet, nothing makes things work better than hitting it really hard! Think about it, when your TV doesn't work, you hit the side of it, doesnt that always fix it? We'll that same Logic works for almost everything, even your computer!
  • BlackMageBlackMage [citation needed] Join Date: 2003-06-18 Member: 17474Members, Constellation
    "artificial-intelligence will never replace natural-stupidity"
  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--DOOManiac+Sep 7 2003, 10:56 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (DOOManiac @ Sep 7 2003, 10:56 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> <!--QuoteBegin--$niper Chance+Sep 7 2003, 11:21 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> ($niper Chance @ Sep 7 2003, 11:21 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> when I had my 486 running Win95 <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
    ewwwwwwww

    One thing as far as Windows OSes go, whether you think 98 or 2000 or XP is the best, we can all agree that 95 is crap. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Yeah... along with ME.
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    I agree. Liku is crap.









    XD
  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Sep 9 2003, 01:16 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Sep 9 2003, 01:16 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I agree. Liku is crap.









    XD <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    rofl




    ME is like a pathetic alpha of XP, with a kernel thats as complex as a POPCORN KERNEL BWHAHA
  • JaneJane Seriously&#33;? Join Date: 2003-07-01 Member: 17835Members, Constellation
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Sep 9 2003, 02:16 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Sep 9 2003, 02:16 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> I agree. Liku is crap. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    lol. . . wait I'm allowed to find that funny right. . . *looks around*. . . yeah <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • CommunistWithAGunCommunistWithAGun Local Propaganda Guy Join Date: 2003-04-30 Member: 15953Members
    Punz r funz <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
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