Girls....
Killymagee
Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 3136Members
Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 3136Members
in Off-Topic
<div class="IPBDescription">some nonsense from SA</div> All girls are f***ed up. You think they aren't but that you're the one with the problems, but believe me they're f***ed. You've got to treat them like that too, always have that on the tip of your mind if you want to be anyone who knows what they're doing. I met this girl Sandra in Chemistry class last semester. We didn't get to know each other until we were lab partners. It was all simple from there what I had to do, just a few study sessions then some charm and eye contact, and soon she was calling me.
I stopped talking to her for a bit when I met Wendy. Well, that didn't work out exactly, but that's not the story here. I saw Sandra at the mall the other day and of course we were too far to really say anything to each other, and I was just leaving, but once you put that idea into a girls head they're bound to call you again. It was expected when I saw the missed call on my cell phone (never keep it on me is what I tell them, but I hear every call). I called her back and asked her to lunch today. Of course I had to make the decision of where to eat, because a girl like Sandra is wishy washy like that. That's why I knew I could never really date her: girls like that just aren't worth trying to fix.
Well it was all going fine when we were eating. I had to keep the pleasantness levels up since she would always diverge into her problems. She talked about her dad a few times and the way her tone of voice switched I knew it would lead to no good. It's hard like that when a girl puts you in a situation like that, like you've got to keep from seeming insensitive while at the same time disregarding what she really has to say, since it's not worth hearing. I don't take girls out to hear their problems. You don't have to hear someones problems to understand what's wrong with them, it shows in all the little things. I made her pay for her meal and sneaked in letting her pay an extra buck tip too.
After lunch I had had enough by then and told her I had to drop her off. She had that look in her eyes like a puppy, once again showing me what a waste of time she was. I would let her stay on though, I thought to myself, because she was kind of hot. She had brown hair and these blue eyes, oh man, can't begin to describe her face either. I'd say it looked like an anime character, since her eyes looked bigger because of her small nose. You could tell she spent a lot of time on her hair too, since every strand basically framed her face on both sides, and she kept adjusting it delicately when we were eating, and also after I made her laugh. Tanned body, and sometimes she would lean back and her clothes would fit her form better and I'd get a way better outline, something about moments like that that put like a sense impression on your brain you can't seem to shake.
I was taking her home and the conversation was going fine. I was on the interstate following this white van. We both took the same exit, which actually was a ramp that curved back up to the left and went over the interstate, making it a pretty wide turn. We were going pretty fast on the curve, both us and the van, and I could tell by the way the van was riding that it was carrying a lot of weight. All of the sudden the van started rocking side to side heavily. I started freaking out and hit the brakes lightly, then the van just turned over on its side and slid down about 50 feet. The back door busted open and all these naked mexicans that were handcuffed and shackled to each other spilled out as the van came to a stop. Some of them were bleeding and I think one was dead. I stopped the car. I had no idea what to say. I leaned my head out of the window and said, "Hey, any of you guys looking for any work?" A trio of them nodded and approached the car. I made them get in the back.
I had enough room to drive around the wreck and just went on. Sandra gave me a freakish look but I let the bi*ch stew in her emotions of confusion. When you act strong like that girls really don't know how to handle you, so they let you do whatever and whenever they get the chance try to criticize you, you just have to shoot them down before they do is all. I looked at them in the rearview. They were pretty quiet. One had a mustache, one was fat, and the other was bald and old. I remembered that they were naked and that I'd eventually have to clean the seats once this whole thing was over. "So where you guys from?"
They said something in spanish to each other, then the one with the mustache said, "Meh-hi-ko."
"I know that, but how'd you guys get here?"
"We come from river that cross into American."
"You guys are slippery f**ks eh?"
"Que?"
By then I had arrived at my destination: Wendy's house. I told them to get out and I told Sandra to stay in the car. Luckily Wendy was home. Wendy is the kind of girl that I like. She's tough and focused, everything Sandra wasn't. I threw some rocks at her window, which was on the second story. She came out and her hair fell down and almost covered her face and she leaned on her palms on the window sill.
"Yo Wendy!"
"What the hell are you doing here??"
"Check out what I got." I turned to my comrades. "Any time now."
The bald old one took out a harmonica and played a note for the right pitch. I had a banjo in my trunk which I gave the fat one, the one with the mustache started singing. By the end of it Wendy was so enamored I didn't have to say anything else. She came running down and gave me a hug. I twirled her around and when I did I noticed the three mexicans stratching their balls and trying to figure out how to pick their handcuff locks. Sandra had a pretty mean look on her face, but it didn't bother me at all.
"Senor, our payment please."
"Payment? Yeah here sure."
I shot them all and left them in the ditch.
hahah Funny stuff I just started going to SomethingAwful forums and I must say wierd but funny (if you like that sort of stuff)
But the Question is where did the Hormonica come from? muwahahahaha!
I stopped talking to her for a bit when I met Wendy. Well, that didn't work out exactly, but that's not the story here. I saw Sandra at the mall the other day and of course we were too far to really say anything to each other, and I was just leaving, but once you put that idea into a girls head they're bound to call you again. It was expected when I saw the missed call on my cell phone (never keep it on me is what I tell them, but I hear every call). I called her back and asked her to lunch today. Of course I had to make the decision of where to eat, because a girl like Sandra is wishy washy like that. That's why I knew I could never really date her: girls like that just aren't worth trying to fix.
Well it was all going fine when we were eating. I had to keep the pleasantness levels up since she would always diverge into her problems. She talked about her dad a few times and the way her tone of voice switched I knew it would lead to no good. It's hard like that when a girl puts you in a situation like that, like you've got to keep from seeming insensitive while at the same time disregarding what she really has to say, since it's not worth hearing. I don't take girls out to hear their problems. You don't have to hear someones problems to understand what's wrong with them, it shows in all the little things. I made her pay for her meal and sneaked in letting her pay an extra buck tip too.
After lunch I had had enough by then and told her I had to drop her off. She had that look in her eyes like a puppy, once again showing me what a waste of time she was. I would let her stay on though, I thought to myself, because she was kind of hot. She had brown hair and these blue eyes, oh man, can't begin to describe her face either. I'd say it looked like an anime character, since her eyes looked bigger because of her small nose. You could tell she spent a lot of time on her hair too, since every strand basically framed her face on both sides, and she kept adjusting it delicately when we were eating, and also after I made her laugh. Tanned body, and sometimes she would lean back and her clothes would fit her form better and I'd get a way better outline, something about moments like that that put like a sense impression on your brain you can't seem to shake.
I was taking her home and the conversation was going fine. I was on the interstate following this white van. We both took the same exit, which actually was a ramp that curved back up to the left and went over the interstate, making it a pretty wide turn. We were going pretty fast on the curve, both us and the van, and I could tell by the way the van was riding that it was carrying a lot of weight. All of the sudden the van started rocking side to side heavily. I started freaking out and hit the brakes lightly, then the van just turned over on its side and slid down about 50 feet. The back door busted open and all these naked mexicans that were handcuffed and shackled to each other spilled out as the van came to a stop. Some of them were bleeding and I think one was dead. I stopped the car. I had no idea what to say. I leaned my head out of the window and said, "Hey, any of you guys looking for any work?" A trio of them nodded and approached the car. I made them get in the back.
I had enough room to drive around the wreck and just went on. Sandra gave me a freakish look but I let the bi*ch stew in her emotions of confusion. When you act strong like that girls really don't know how to handle you, so they let you do whatever and whenever they get the chance try to criticize you, you just have to shoot them down before they do is all. I looked at them in the rearview. They were pretty quiet. One had a mustache, one was fat, and the other was bald and old. I remembered that they were naked and that I'd eventually have to clean the seats once this whole thing was over. "So where you guys from?"
They said something in spanish to each other, then the one with the mustache said, "Meh-hi-ko."
"I know that, but how'd you guys get here?"
"We come from river that cross into American."
"You guys are slippery f**ks eh?"
"Que?"
By then I had arrived at my destination: Wendy's house. I told them to get out and I told Sandra to stay in the car. Luckily Wendy was home. Wendy is the kind of girl that I like. She's tough and focused, everything Sandra wasn't. I threw some rocks at her window, which was on the second story. She came out and her hair fell down and almost covered her face and she leaned on her palms on the window sill.
"Yo Wendy!"
"What the hell are you doing here??"
"Check out what I got." I turned to my comrades. "Any time now."
The bald old one took out a harmonica and played a note for the right pitch. I had a banjo in my trunk which I gave the fat one, the one with the mustache started singing. By the end of it Wendy was so enamored I didn't have to say anything else. She came running down and gave me a hug. I twirled her around and when I did I noticed the three mexicans stratching their balls and trying to figure out how to pick their handcuff locks. Sandra had a pretty mean look on her face, but it didn't bother me at all.
"Senor, our payment please."
"Payment? Yeah here sure."
I shot them all and left them in the ditch.
hahah Funny stuff I just started going to SomethingAwful forums and I must say wierd but funny (if you like that sort of stuff)
But the Question is where did the Hormonica come from? muwahahahaha!
Comments
My knowledge about girls:
1. they want to feel wanted
2. that's about it...
bah...
1. They don't know what they want
2. They expect you to know what they want
3. They get mad when you don't and are unimpressed when you do
If you don't like it this is what I think you should do:
Buy a pack of squares
Arrive at the apartment
Confront the investor
Explain the situation
Have him sign the documents
Bind him to a chair
Handcuff him
Place him face down on the bed
Shoot him once
Remember gloves
Scan apartment
Kill the dog
Kill the dog
Kill the dog
Evidence
Kill the dog
Kill the dog
Kill the dog
Evidence
Kill the dog
Evidence
Kill the dog
Evidence
Kill the dog
hahah more nonsense from SA man I LOVE that place hahahaha! <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> !
Then I got confused <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
Then I got confused <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Yeah, same here. I started cracking up near the end, and now one of my friends thinks I'm crazy.
But it wasn't funny, which most of SA is.
But that story wasn't funny in the slightest.
Yup. What's SA anyhow?
Yup. What's SA anyhow? <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Movie Reviews > Hentai Reviews <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
Oh my God.... you've never heard of SA? <a href='http://www.somethingawful.com' target='_blank'>THIS is SA</a> SomethingAwful.com. Immature humour, pointless jokes, wild stories, stupid reviews.... It's a gold mine for someone like me, and some of their Photoshopped images are seriously good. Someone gave me the link to the Counter-Strike guide about 2 years ago, and i've been hooked ever since.
yeah. that.
im on a 56k running aol at 4.3bps do i really WANT this crap. for that is what it is. god it took me 5 mins just to open this bloody page. my cousin never was the techie that i am (im stayin at his place 4 awhile)