Working In A Bar Has It's Advantages
<div class="IPBDescription">More fights than a pirate ship! YARRRR!</div> As many of you may or may not know, I work as a bartender on Friday and Saturday nights. I have a seemingly love-hate relationship with my job. For instance, I hate washing 100 ashtrays every night.
However on one of those rare occasions I get the simple pleasure of beating the snot out of someone and putting him through a window.
It started innocently enough, I was ordered upstairs to the cocktail bar to do a glass run for the barmaid as she was indisposed at the bar and couldn't do it herself. Fair enough, I do this all the time and it's a pleasant change of pace from the crazyness of the downstairs bar. After cleaning around 10 tables I come across Joe Westie and his gang of Thug Gangstas. The enourmous amount of 'blingity bling' he had around his neck and on his fingers led me to the rather innocent comment of "Think you got enough jewellery there mate?" *sigh* Sometimes I really need to think things through a lot more....
He obviously didn't take kindly to me, quote "Stepping on my ****" so I calmed him down, saying I meant no harm by it and I hoped that would have been the end of it. A few hours pass and it's nearing around 11pm and we're winding things down for the night, ashtrays coming in, tables getting wiped down, etc, and I come across Joe Westie again. He had moved downstairs and was glaring me down giving me one of those 'I'm gonna hit you over the head as you walk to your car' looks, so I go over to him and said "Look, if your looking to start something here I suggest you don't. I apologised to you and we should both leave it at that."
To the ever so colloqial reply of "nah, **** you man. Your freaking dead when you leave this bar"
Well... this is going to get rather ugly,I think to myself. Time to get security involved. "You see that big fat black bouncer in that corner over there? That's mongo. Mongo doesn't take too kindly to people threatening the bar staff. I suggest you simmer down or I'll have you ejected."
Well. Negotiations always have a way of breaking down don't they....
He took a swing at my head, but thanks to the wonderful by product of alcohol this drunk couldn't hit me worth a damn. Unfortuneately for me one of his mates hadn't been drinking much that night and I copped a blow straight to the side of the head. Needless to say a certain level of disorientation had set in, but not enough to get in my one attack of this fight. Having worked in a bar for well over a year and a half has given me a grip like a vice. I can pretty much hold 20-30 glasses in one hand quite easily. Now perhaps I should also mention at this point that they were sitting next to one of our windows. This paritcular window used to be an old door, but had since been replaced by a rather flimsy glass paneswith little bits of wood subdividing it. Not the sturdiest of structures. But I digress from my original train of thought.
After that initial blow to the side of the head, I was disorientated for a few seconds. I knew that his friend had hit me and I also knew that Joe Westies friend had just made a big mistake in **** me off. My hand shot up and clamped around his mouth, and for a few seconds I applied a rather large amount of force to his face. Friend #2 obviously didn't take a liking to this and hit me on the lower left side of my back, just before an all out brawl took hold. So simply rather than take part of it I threw this moron through the window. It made me feel a lot better and it stopped the fight. Note for all drunks in my bar. Don't annoy me....
So when the ambulance finally arrived he needed a few stitches so off he went to the hospital, I got checked up (Nothing broken), I had a chat with the cops who basically said my actions were 'wholey justifiable' and that was the end of it. I got off work early because of this and here I am now... I get to wake up in a few hours and go to a lan. yay.
Notes: Joe Westie is a fake name, Mongo is not. Our bouncer's real name is Mike, but due to the sheer size of the guy everyone calls him Mongo. He's the nicest bloke in the world and I've only ever seen him lose his temper once.
Once is enough...
However on one of those rare occasions I get the simple pleasure of beating the snot out of someone and putting him through a window.
It started innocently enough, I was ordered upstairs to the cocktail bar to do a glass run for the barmaid as she was indisposed at the bar and couldn't do it herself. Fair enough, I do this all the time and it's a pleasant change of pace from the crazyness of the downstairs bar. After cleaning around 10 tables I come across Joe Westie and his gang of Thug Gangstas. The enourmous amount of 'blingity bling' he had around his neck and on his fingers led me to the rather innocent comment of "Think you got enough jewellery there mate?" *sigh* Sometimes I really need to think things through a lot more....
He obviously didn't take kindly to me, quote "Stepping on my ****" so I calmed him down, saying I meant no harm by it and I hoped that would have been the end of it. A few hours pass and it's nearing around 11pm and we're winding things down for the night, ashtrays coming in, tables getting wiped down, etc, and I come across Joe Westie again. He had moved downstairs and was glaring me down giving me one of those 'I'm gonna hit you over the head as you walk to your car' looks, so I go over to him and said "Look, if your looking to start something here I suggest you don't. I apologised to you and we should both leave it at that."
To the ever so colloqial reply of "nah, **** you man. Your freaking dead when you leave this bar"
Well... this is going to get rather ugly,I think to myself. Time to get security involved. "You see that big fat black bouncer in that corner over there? That's mongo. Mongo doesn't take too kindly to people threatening the bar staff. I suggest you simmer down or I'll have you ejected."
Well. Negotiations always have a way of breaking down don't they....
He took a swing at my head, but thanks to the wonderful by product of alcohol this drunk couldn't hit me worth a damn. Unfortuneately for me one of his mates hadn't been drinking much that night and I copped a blow straight to the side of the head. Needless to say a certain level of disorientation had set in, but not enough to get in my one attack of this fight. Having worked in a bar for well over a year and a half has given me a grip like a vice. I can pretty much hold 20-30 glasses in one hand quite easily. Now perhaps I should also mention at this point that they were sitting next to one of our windows. This paritcular window used to be an old door, but had since been replaced by a rather flimsy glass paneswith little bits of wood subdividing it. Not the sturdiest of structures. But I digress from my original train of thought.
After that initial blow to the side of the head, I was disorientated for a few seconds. I knew that his friend had hit me and I also knew that Joe Westies friend had just made a big mistake in **** me off. My hand shot up and clamped around his mouth, and for a few seconds I applied a rather large amount of force to his face. Friend #2 obviously didn't take a liking to this and hit me on the lower left side of my back, just before an all out brawl took hold. So simply rather than take part of it I threw this moron through the window. It made me feel a lot better and it stopped the fight. Note for all drunks in my bar. Don't annoy me....
So when the ambulance finally arrived he needed a few stitches so off he went to the hospital, I got checked up (Nothing broken), I had a chat with the cops who basically said my actions were 'wholey justifiable' and that was the end of it. I got off work early because of this and here I am now... I get to wake up in a few hours and go to a lan. yay.
Notes: Joe Westie is a fake name, Mongo is not. Our bouncer's real name is Mike, but due to the sheer size of the guy everyone calls him Mongo. He's the nicest bloke in the world and I've only ever seen him lose his temper once.
Once is enough...
Comments
Actualy, being a person who practicly lives in his Computer Chair, i dont go out often, and as such, dont get into many brawels. Biggest one i had was 5 on 1, but i was the one, and i walked off (they were about half my size and cudnt throw a punch for ****... it didnt seem right hitting them. PLus they had big friends. BIG friends).
What, you own the bar or something? aren't the owners a bit ticked that you smashed a window?
I do love the fact that yall call your bouncer Mongo (I know a guy just like that, large, strong, tuff as nails, and a freaken teady bear(generaly), however he works for FedEx <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
oh well, have fun at the LAN
WTH?? h4x!
I work at the bar. So when I say 'my bar' it's simply the bar I work at. A broken window is nothing. Some fool broke our giant 2m TV, yeah guess who payed for the repairs.....
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I do love the fact that yall call your bouncer Mongo (I know a guy just like that, large, strong, tuff as nails, and a freaken teady bear(generaly), however he works for FedEx )
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Yeah you basically described our Mongo as well. He basically looks after everyone at the bar.
The night he lost his temper some moron hit our Manager over the head with a bottle, he literally picked him up by the back of the neck took him out the back and put him in hospital for a month..... I don't <i>EVER</i> want to tick Mongo off.
PWNED IN TEH FACE!
But I know a few people who actually are out to get me and are just waiting for the right moment unfortunatly he has a bad back, even the slightest tap causes him severe pain. Guess what I'm aimimg for.
One of my friends is a bouncer, tall, fairly well built ginger hair and can shout louder than me speakers can go. Thats why I end up being called mini-me at youth club <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo-->
and man Inf, sounds like you can really get **** done. <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
*looks at Doom's quote*
*looks at Infinitum's animated avatar of the Sam&Max trailer*
*chuckles*
Boy, am I glad I'm not much of a drinker. I'm better at spectating than participating when it comes to acting stupid.
Actually there was that one time when the drunk guy with a limp was going to mug me, but he had limp, as I said, and I can run with a fair old pace <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
No cash for you, Mr Wierd Guy!
Something to be said for being 6'4", 260 lbs and that always serious look.
Never got into a fight...Because all the Westies in my school are like 5'10"
it's a pirate's life for me.
All my friends are pirates,
and they sail the big blue sea...</i> e.t.c
Heard in a bar: <i>omg, i killed my mother this morning, but she won't respawn!</i>
some people <i>really</i> need to get out more
i have a record for ABH and attempted assault... but it wasnt my fault...
9 'thugs' on me and my baby brother (i was 16 he was 14)
they started beating on us etc.. ya know usualy gypo stuff.. fair enough... still annoying but i cant be arsed.. then my bdother drops afetr getting a monkey punch... and then 4 of them start kicking his head.... man the kids like 14.. i snapped... i broke 1 wrist 2 arms and a collar bone and a jaw. and the others just got cuts and bruises.. i have no knowlegde of martial arts... i have no special matrix moves lol..
i am just a 16 stone 6 ft bloke who does NOT like to watch family members getting kicked in the face.
and so then I Me?!?!? got done for the violence.. WTH is the world coming too :S
then again since it happened (around 2 years back) the lil gypos wont look at me now lol
Phear me <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
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The idiot needed to be taught that the "Mr. T look" was never into fashion.
but you guys ripped it out of me when i had 1 necklace,watch,ring on in my piccies... thats nothing lol
Left a nice little arc-burn on him.
I tried to develop the concept of the homemade tazer a little more by putting the discharge that would normally lead to the flash bulb through a 12 volt car ignition coil. I wired it all up and set it off.
Nothing happened.
I then started to dismantle it, I grabbed the coil by the metal casing (d'oh) then picked up my pliers and started to unscrew the nut on top that was holding one of the wires in. The next thing I knew the muscles in my arms involuntarily contracted and the pliers flew across the room. I could feel the current zipping along the inside of my arms, along the veins.
Not a pleasant sensation.
I went a laid down on the carpet and put a finger to my neck to check my pulse, it was almost purring. I just laid there until it dropped to a reasonable speed. I then got up, went into the kitchen and got a pair of oven mitts. Picked up the apparatus and threw it into a shoebox. I now have a weird Pavlovian inhibition to touching that coil ever again.
Moral of the story is: Don't be a ****, put a clip accross the damn capacitor.
--Scythe--
Not that I have one, I just think the concept is cool.