Making friends online
zastels
Join Date: 2003-11-29 Member: 23731Members
Join Date: 2003-11-29 Member: 23731Members
<div class="IPBDescription">have things changed?</div>Sedentary folk, I come to you seeking wisdom. I have pondered a long time on the subject of friendship, and have been keen enough to notice the stark contrast between my present existence and the era of youth. When younger, making friends was about screaming into the microphone over even the slightest suspicion of skulk or lerk. In return, others would scream back in participation, and a bond would be made just like that.
Jump ahead to the age of 24. I no longer know how to make friends online. I try and make NS2 maps or Source maps, but nobody cares. I try to be helpful with a mind saturated in the belief of karma, but nothing. I even thumbs up everything NS2 related on Facebook, but nobody notices!
Do you know what it is like to play BF3 without a gunner? To check your six in NS2 to have your twelve eaten? To get double 6 pooled in SC2 with NO FRIEND to help! To play CS and have nobody validate how bad the netcode ruled in your favour?
The internet is a cold place now days, at least for the likes of myself.
Oh Internet, our home and native land.
<a href="http://steamcommunity.com/id/zastels/" target="_blank">http://steamcommunity.com/id/zastels/</a>
Go to that link and add me on Steam and hello
Jump ahead to the age of 24. I no longer know how to make friends online. I try and make NS2 maps or Source maps, but nobody cares. I try to be helpful with a mind saturated in the belief of karma, but nothing. I even thumbs up everything NS2 related on Facebook, but nobody notices!
Do you know what it is like to play BF3 without a gunner? To check your six in NS2 to have your twelve eaten? To get double 6 pooled in SC2 with NO FRIEND to help! To play CS and have nobody validate how bad the netcode ruled in your favour?
The internet is a cold place now days, at least for the likes of myself.
Oh Internet, our home and native land.
<a href="http://steamcommunity.com/id/zastels/" target="_blank">http://steamcommunity.com/id/zastels/</a>
Go to that link and add me on Steam and hello
Comments
Maybe you can try my approach and tell me if that intentionally gets your friends.
Personally I wouldn't call people covering eachother other or screaming skulk on the microphone friends :p
congrats :D
Just wanted to add; I'd care if you made a NS2 map!
Jump ahead to the age of 24. I no longer know how to make friends online. I try and make NS2 maps or Source maps, but nobody cares. I try to be helpful with a mind saturated in the belief of karma, but nothing. I even thumbs up everything NS2 related on Facebook, but nobody notices!
Do you know what it is like to play BF3 without a gunner? To check your six in NS2 to have your twelve eaten? To get double 6 pooled in SC2 with NO FRIEND to help! To play CS and have nobody validate how bad the netcode ruled in your favour?
The internet is a cold place now days, at least for the likes of myself.
Oh Internet, our home and native land.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Welcome to mainstream gaming. When you were younger, so was gaming, which attracted a more specific audience. Now that everyone dabbles in the activity, we are less likely to see the reclusive well-mannered intelligent gamer. I am sorry, but he's dying, and is jaded. lol.
but on topic, i'm 25 and i think i can agree. when you grow older, you are less enthusiastic because it gets harder to surprise/impress you and you obviously act more grown up.
also, you get less interested in projects like mapping/modding/events as your free time has become quite limited. these things, sharing specific goals or projects, can forge people together for a long period. i guess not everyone does this, but you might want to give it a try if you really have that much online-time to spend. this can be anything from forum activity over youtube videos to an entire stand-alone-game. but be careful, these can be very addictive and doing something real-life is probably more gain for the effort in the long run.
(but thanks for reminding me *puts link to his wiki-page in signature*)
anyway, i think if you really want to be "friends" with people online, you need to start talking about other things besides games. like where are these people from, whats different in their country, what music do they like, what hobbies do they have...
personally, i compensate for the lack of new online friends simply by playing with people i also know in real-life. this sometimes works the other way around too, meeting people you know from the internet. increased mobility is one of the advantages when growing up.
Internet friendships ar rare in facebook time. I laugh at ppl with 1000 friends on FB. Real friendship only exists if RL is a part of it (the bigger one).
The internet is full of trolls and ppl who only want your money so nothing has changed,.
I agree, almost everyone on my rather small friend's list is more like a co-worker. A co-gamer. It is just about gaming, unfortunately.
Quoted for truth!
Just wanted to add; I'd care if you made a NS2 map!<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
He lies.
He hasn't befriended me.
He was just up for some fun on my NS2 map and then dumped me like all the other mappers.
:p
If you make a good contrast between your online friendships and the real-life ones you're good to go!
It's that feel when you join a server and everyone's like "Hey duddde long time no see!", or you go on in steam after a while and your online buddies just ask ye how you're doing, it's a good feel - but you cannot live from it, can you?
Internet is volunteer's work, you may find people that honour your actions, but the most aren't even looking for it.
In the end, everyone wants something out of it. So give and take generously and keep away from trolls.
Related to this: Hey Perso, if you're reading this - it's nice to work on a map with ye! ;D
so true if you just keep hoping around people wont know you but if you find a nice server with nice people chances are you will keep finding them there,I for one play on the BAD server in ns1 and while I could have joined any EU server I still join this NA server because of the people and the fun we allways have, people on there just know eachother, if someone hasn't been on for a long time they actully start wondering where you are.
<!--quoteo(post=1892163:date=Dec 30 2011, 09:40 PM:name=Kalabalana)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Kalabalana @ Dec 30 2011, 09:40 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=1892163"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Welcome to mainstream gaming. When you were younger, so was gaming, which attracted a more specific audience. Now that everyone dabbles in the activity, we are less likely to see the reclusive well-mannered intelligent gamer. I am sorry, but he's dying, and is jaded. lol.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
somewhat true allthough trust my word on this guys I have never ever had so many intelligent and fun conversations on any subject in any other game, why? well NS is a complicated game and it tends to draw the more mature people to it now here is the thing there are many games like this out there but what makes NS different from them is one thing that I belive is hugly overlooked by many people and that is the readyroom.
anyone here been on BAD server late nights where some conversation allways start in the ready room about politics, religion and just life in genereal, marine dude anyone :D? anyway this is one of the big reasons why I play this game ( besides from it being awsome obviosly ) and I am really glad how this is transferring smoothly from ns1---->ns2 Infact last time I jumped into NS2 we had a really nice conversation about the state of games now a days and the new generation of gamers.
so anyway my tip to you is to try to stick to 3 servers ( incase 2 of them is full and you can't join u allways have the 3rd, that what I do) and just look for good people and trust me u will be hooked and you wont leave those servers ever.
ps
I just wanted to add that you can find nice people out there but its hard its not just you trust me, I mean take me I met the great bunch of people at JSU clan by sheer luck in l4d1 and since then Ive been in their clan. so anyway good luck man and hope to cya ingame someday.
aaaaawww :)
hey zastels, just add me on steam, id: seldog17
we could have friendship dating matches :D
this reminds me of the southpark facebook episode "you got 0 friends" :D
While I hope you had a good time too and I'd certainly greet you if I came across you again online; I'm not really looking for more <b>real</b> friends, because then I'd have no time available to myself anymore, and I see no value in accumulating "fake" friends. I suspect this is the root cause of your problem; when you're a kid you have a seemingly infinite amount of time and the barrier to make new "friends" is very low, but most of these friends are really just casual acquaintances.
Some of my best friends are people I've met online.
Maybe that's kind of sad.
But anyway, what it really comes down to is... making friends means taking an interest outside of the routine (work, school... video games)... since you can't really call them out for drinks (or maybe you could), you just have to communicate. Chat, basically. Personally I'm quite a curious person - not in a nosy way - I just take an interest in people, and I express it - I ask questions, I share stories. Sometimes people reciprocate ("friendly"), sometimes they don't (strictly "business-only" - no point in forcing the issue). Maybe these days there are less people willing to reciprocate, maybe people just have less time to spend on anything other than pure "business" (gaming). Maybe you're just playing the wrong game for it.
If you make a good contrast between your online friendships and the real-life ones you're good to go!
It's that feel when you join a server and everyone's like "Hey duddde long time no see!", or you go on in steam after a while and your online buddies just ask ye how you're doing, it's a good feel - but you cannot live from it, can you?
Internet is volunteer's work, you may find people that honour your actions, but the most aren't even looking for it.
In the end, everyone wants something out of it. So give and take generously and keep away from trolls.
Related to this: Hey Perso, if you're reading this - it's nice to work on a map with ye! ;D<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hi Whoppa, same goes for you! Let's get back to mapping soon!! :D Oh and about the signature.., I may have to find a new host for them pictures, but I'll fix it asap! (some time next year..:P)
I don't know if the internet has come a colder place or not, but after going to university and getting a job the amount of my daily gaming dose dropped significantly... I still play games but nowadays I guess I tend to spend more time on casual & single player games. I just can't find the same time to commit to online games anymore and instead spend more times on mods and what not, because it's easier to be decently good at them even if you don't have that much time on hand.
Edit: Hm, I think I'll go have a new year's sauna now, Happy New Year everyone! :)
"Get out of my Tank!"
"Screw you!"
*5 minutes later*
"Best tank partner EVER!"
"You did awesome man!"
I've read somewhere that the first thing steam players do is open up there friends list to see what their playing and play games based on that.
"Get out of my Tank!"
"Screw you!"
*5 minutes later*
"Best tank partner EVER!"
"You did awesome man!"
I've read somewhere that the first thing steam players do is open up there friends list to see what their playing and play games based on that.
BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
yo guys add me on Steam.
I'm writing a novel about a dude who meets an alien. how laugh out loud INTRIGUING!
I also, like books.
I eat mainly vegetables.
It's New Years! But not yet. Do not chase.
You shouldn't act too needy, people have a sense for this behavior and may be scared off. Maybe you should type things in the chat like:
'I am lonely, but it's ok!'
'Is a gunner out there? Not that it's important, just asking..'
'Do you guys like porn? Wait, I don't care.'
'I am friends with me and myself.'
The theory behind this is, that those times people only think of themselves. Try to be one of them, maybe they will react different.
If you didn't find this funny: I don't care. Not that I need friends, but I actually am going to have physical contact with a human.
Maybe that's also something to think about :p
You shouldn't act too needy, people have a sense for this behavior and may be scared off. Maybe you should type things in the chat like:
'I am lonely, but it's ok!'
'Is a gunner out there? Not that it's important, just asking..'
'Do you guys like porn? Wait, I don't care.'
'I am friends with me and myself.'
The theory behind this is, that those times people only think of themselves. Try to be one of them, maybe they will react different.
If you didn't find this funny: I don't care. Not that I need friends, but I actually am going to have physical contact with a human.
Maybe that's also something to think about :p<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
I wouldn't really call that "being one of them", but whatever works for you!
zastels, would it be okay if a complete NS noob added you?
Now, in NS2 you are much more likely to find likeminded players than in games like CoD or BF, still the general consensus on gaming these days on the servers seems to be what outsiders said about gaming ten years ago. It's not cool to spend more than an hour with it per day, it's not cool to be good in a game and if you are better, then you obviously have no girlfriend etc. You all know it. Here is a picture for your amusement (although it might sadden some of you rather than amuse):
<img src="http://i.imgur.com/XeObP.png" border="0" class="linked-image" />
The place to find friends on the internet nowadays are not social networks, not big forums with thousands of members, not games where the servers are so full you never meet the same guys again. The place to find friends are smaller communities, places where the core community of something gathers. IRC channels are good, you won't find the facebook-crowd there.
Like others said, play on the same NS2 server all the time and you will become part of the core community and make friends.
tl;dr: Hang around places that are <b>not</b> cool.
I actually don't like people that aren't adaptive to change.. I think if everyone just joined the servers that pinged lowest for them, then they would enjoy this game more.. although check the tick rates because sometimes the servers that ping the second, third 4th etc highest can be better... A better way to put this is just "Be acquainted with people with the same interests". That always seems to work. :P
Maybe you've never experienced it to join a server where you know 70% of the currently playing and get greeted upon joining. It's really nice to start a game and know that you are playing with friends on whom you actually can rely. It's the #1 reason there are so many clans but you can still experience it without a clan, as a regular guest on a clan server for example.
Still, even with a nice community like this one it doesn't feel the same as joining a Tribes 2 server in 2001 and stealing some flags from a guy you played hundreds of hours with knowing that he won't forget and there will be payback tomorrow – in a friendly way.
Knowing someone or not will not benefit whether they help you more or less.. people with open minds will help eachother even if they are total strangers.