The others-chapter 6, continued

SeaTeller4SeaTeller4 Join Date: 2009-05-04 Member: 67339Members Posts: 10
Its back.
I have begun writing the others again. Hopefully many people will read it.

"Somewhere on planet earth....

Lewis put his eyes to the retinal scanner. A cool, female voice said "Access Granted."

He walked into the brightly lit control room. The voice sounded again, but this time it said "Control Installation 04 has received information on the current activity of the ship known as Sanguine Ascent, sir."

Lewis was startled by this announcement. "The Sanguine? Impossible. It vanished seven years ago. An engine failure brought it down on Mars, remember?" Then he realized he was talking to an AI, meaning it couldn't remember.

The voice responded "Incorrect. That is what the command center chose to say. In reality, the ship was constructed to test an experimental, and highly controversial, piece of technology. The wreck of the ship was a fake. The ship recently reappeared in the same system it vanished in. All attempts to communicate have been unanswered. Any attempts to board the ship have been repelled by unknown forces. The ones who do know are in no condition to tell us."

"We have chosen you to lead a crew on one of our rescue ships, equipped with a shield penetration device. Explore the ship and find out what it was built to test. We have also traced Kharra life forms on the ship, for an unknown reason. We believe that the ship holds an immensely dangerous secret, and the Kharra seek to use it for their own means. They have become intelligent enough, and they hardly need it with all the slaves they've captured from our ranks. However, the Kharra appear to be battling something that we do not know. Your mission is to, if possible, remove the experimental technology. If it is impossible to do so, you are to plant the bombs you will be equipped with and depart. We have also detected signs of battle. The reason is unknown, but the best guess that we can make is that the Kharra are fighting amongst themselves."

As he had been walking, at least five marines had joined him. One of them, he noticed, was Sanchez. He didn't know the others. Sanchez winked at him and said "So, we're gonna pop in unannounced, break the ship up, take the technology and get out. Sounds simple enough to me."

Another marine said "Any time, any where!"

the voice said "You will be leaving immediately. Report to the hangar immediately."

The ship shuddered, groaned and moaned in the solar wind. "Why did they have to stick us with such a hunk of junk?" grumbled a marine. Another marine said "Most of our other rescue ships have been out searching for any signs of life from the S.S Pioneer. This is the only one they could spare."

Lewis stretched out in the cockpits chair. He liked being in space-liked the weightless feeling.

"Sanguine Ascent is directly infront of the ship. Setting automatic course for hangar."

Lewis steeled himself. It was time to get to work.


  • EpidemicEpidemic Dark Force Gorge Join Date: 2003-06-29 Member: 17781Members Posts: 3,104
    edited August 2009
    Too lojng, cba reading this

    edit: btw, I think your stories need more pictures
    I saw a radscorpion the other day.
  • BadMouthBadMouth It ceases to be exclusive when you can have a custom member titl Join Date: 2004-05-21 Member: 28815Members Posts: 1,018
    The story is too short here to give a proper commentary. Try to churn out your chapters on a more regular basis so I won't have to go back and read the old stuff all over again. My criticism for this piece is that the mission feels too setup, like too much info is given to Lewis when in reality, I don't think so many factors would be known. And the computer should sound more impersonal. Phrases like "the best guess that we can make" shouldn't be used by a computer.
    From the Shadows...
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