Have You Ever Almost Died Laughing?

ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet! Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Members
<div class="IPBDescription">not really, but..like it was that funny?</div> i was playing TS kung fu only, and i saw someone take a brutal kick to the face or chest, killing him.

and he said into the microphone <i>JUST</i> like milhouse "<i>ohhh, my glasses..</i>"

i almost died..

i swear to god it was so funny and the delivery was so great.



and yet, whenever i tell someone they're like, "heh... ok."

there have been a few other things i've done in my life that are only funny to you and whoever's there, and the comedy can never be resurrected again.

i hate it. i'm usually a pretty funny guy if you've noticed..

[slicks back his hair]

[has no hair]

but i want to replicate those lethally hilarious situations for others, and it simply can't be done.

poo.

Comments

  • RetalesRetales Panigg cultist Join Date: 2003-08-07 Member: 19180Members
    Happens to me, too. When I try to explain something funny to my friends, they look at me like they are thinking: "****. Just die already, moron".

    Don't even bother trying to tell someone something that was funny when someone said it. They have to be experienced by yourself. For example, once on some server in NS I heard an comment that I have remembered ever since (not scorpian or lork). Bad thing is that I'm the only one that thinks it's funny <!--emo&???--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/confused.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='confused.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • MonsieurEvilMonsieurEvil Join Date: 2002-01-22 Member: 4Members, Retired Developer, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
    Chris Rock live. I thought I was having a heart attack, I was laughing so hard...
  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Members
    I get that. For some things to be funny, you just have to be there.

    Like when you try to explain something from T.V, often it's how the character/comedian/whoever said it as much as what was said.
  • JimmehJimmeh Join Date: 2003-08-24 Member: 20173Members, Constellation
    <a href='http://www.sokissable.com/chrisrock.htm' target='_blank'>http://www.sokissable.com/chrisrock.htm</a>
  • Cereal_KillRCereal_KillR Join Date: 2002-10-31 Member: 1837Members
    god, during class this other day, my friend told this joke, and I started laughing so hard in class, everyone started looking at me. My friend said "it's ok it was just a little joke" and I fell off my chair, laughing like hell, almost choked myself. Teacher dismissed me in the hall until I was recovered, lasted maybe 5 min. I don't know what everyone was thinking about me right then.

    And the joke wasn't even funny, but I won't say it because it might be inapropriate
  • TenSixTenSix Join Date: 2002-11-09 Member: 7932Members
    Anytime I think of a quote I read off Fark:

    "As God as my witness, I didn't know tofu turkeys could explode."
  • DiablusDiablus Join Date: 2003-03-31 Member: 15080Members
    yes one time i couldnt breath for about 40 seconds, i almost DID die laughing <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • MajinMajin Join Date: 2003-05-29 Member: 16829Members, Constellation
    edited December 2003
    There was a Penny Arcade Comic that I found in the archives that made me LOL uncontrolably for 10 mins.

    It was a insult to some game company.
    The comic was a 3 panle one.
    First pic was a guy beating a dead horse
    The next was a pic of a guy trying to bleed a rock
    The third was a comment about the well being dry!
    Please try to post it if you know it!
    LOL

    [edit] <a href='http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2002-12-13&res=l' target='_blank'>This is the one!</a>
  • HawkeyeHawkeye Join Date: 2002-10-31 Member: 1855Members
    I once saw this clip from consumptionjunction.com that made my sides hurt after I finished laughing.

    Actually there were two of them. One was this guy walking on the beach looking behind and then tripped over the string which attaches a tent with its post and landed on some lady sunbathing.

    The other was a penguin waddling across the ice and manages to step on some thin ice, loses his balance, and slams head first into the water.

    I burst into tears. It seems sort of stupid now that I think about it. <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • TransmissionTransmission Join Date: 2003-03-12 Member: 14456Members
    Jerry Seinfeld live. After the show, my sides were sore. I can imagine Chris Rock would be something similar (about the sides hurting, not the comedy).
  • esunaesuna Rock Bottom Join Date: 2003-04-03 Member: 15175Members, Constellation
    Both when seeing Bill Bailey and Eddie Izzard live, i could hardly breath through laughing so much.
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    so Eddie Izzard's good eh? I was considering going to see A Day in the Death of Joe Egg on Broadway... maybe I will...
  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Dec 5 2003, 07:18 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Dec 5 2003, 07:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Chris Rock live. I thought I was having a heart attack, I was laughing so hard... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    now <i>that</i>, mister evil, is universally fatal. i thought my kidneys were rupturing.
  • GlissGliss Join Date: 2003-03-23 Member: 14800Members, Constellation, NS2 Map Tester
    My friend and I were talking in class, and this other guy started talking about Zorro. Somehow, my friend ended up with Zorro as his new nickname, and then we started trying to draw Zs all over his paper. Eventually we stopped. Now, he was wearing one of those horror movie shirts (nightmare something christmas), and then Zorro said, "That sucks."
    So the other guy goes, "That's it, Zorro, you're goin' DOWN!"
    He pulls out a pen, and draws a giant Z on the paper (super thick!), and it was so hard, it printed through to the next 5 pages. It was on his homework, too, it was great.

    So, the next day, we were talking, and I drew another Z that wasn't quite as thick, but it was enough to print through to the next 2 pages. Then I stole his eraser, and when I threw it back, I drew another Z comparable to the guy with the horror movie shirt. Anyways, he was on like problem 5, because he had to keep erasing, and by the end of the class he was on 15 and I was finished (45). So I lined up my notes and my paper, and said, "Zorro, I'm just too good--" and then, he stole the paper, and tried to draw a huge Z on it.

    The pencil broke as he made 1/4th of the first line.
    It was hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing (luckily I can laugh with no sound or else I'd have to go out of the room), and my work wasn't even ruined, he had made less than 2 lines on the paper, about 1 inch thick, it was great.
  • Knife_After_DarkKnife_After_Dark Join Date: 2003-03-29 Member: 15000Members
    Some of the flash movies at newgrounds REALLY makes you DIE of laughter. That and certain episodes of 8-bit theater. I'll post the links to what made me die of laughter when I get the chance (by edit)
  • RenegadeRenegade Old school Join Date: 2002-03-29 Member: 361Members
    My squad and I were on an ATO last week and my Sergeant accidentally slipped on a small patch of moss on a log, let out the strangest/funniest noise I've evar heard, did a half-back-flip, and landed on his head. I was barely able to stifle myself
  • LikuLiku I, am the Somberlain. Join Date: 2003-01-10 Member: 12128Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Dec 5 2003, 12:18 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Dec 5 2003, 12:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Chris Rock live. I thought I was having a heart attack, I was laughing so hard... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    Hmm... might "get" that... ~_^
  • MoquiaoMoquiao Join Date: 2003-05-09 Member: 16168Members
    <!--QuoteBegin--MonsieurEvil+Dec 5 2003, 08:18 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> (MonsieurEvil @ Dec 5 2003, 08:18 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin--> Chris Rock live. I thought I was having a heart attack, I was laughing so hard... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
    that the one where his solution to gun crime is charge $20,000 per bullet?

    ' i would kill yo ****! but i cant afford it!'
  • MulletMullet Join Date: 2003-04-28 Member: 15910Members, Constellation
    edited December 2003
    When I saw a bum run full speed into a wall for some money.... That was the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's funny how people laugh at other peoples pain....har har. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • BlaqWolfBlaqWolf Join Date: 2002-10-28 Member: 1667Members
    edited December 2003
    the first time i watched red vs blue i almost died of laughter... it was so frickin funny, and it was funny right off the bat ( "god damn i'm getting so sick of answering that question" <--- breaking point)

    hell, i still have a near death experience every time i watch them...
  • ZigZig ...I am Captain Planet&#33; Join Date: 2002-10-23 Member: 1576Members
    lol, everyone's experiences sound pretty funny.
  • ShzarShzar Join Date: 2003-09-21 Member: 21098Members, Constellation
    The funniest excuse ever for being late to school:

    "I stepped on a dead monkey and I threw up all over myself."

    This actually happend to a person I know: he's the only person to get off at the one bus stop, and :crunch: :puke:.

    Oh, and <a href='http://www.wrenchfarm.com/archiveview.php?comic=2' target='_blank'>this.</a>
  • SoulSkorpionSoulSkorpion Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 423Members
    I can remember it happening, but I can't remember the circumstances. Possibly some comedy festival.
  • MulletMullet Join Date: 2003-04-28 Member: 15910Members, Constellation
    When I was late for one of my classes, my teacher asked me why and I said I got somthing in my eye and I got lost......some people thought it was funny. Not my teacher. <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • uranium_235uranium_235 Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9478Banned
    edited December 2003
    Okay well it's the end of the year in physics and we've got nothing to do. So our teacher decides we've got lots of flammable gasses in bottles, let's make hot air balloons out of tissue paper and fly em for fun. The group whos balloon reaches the top of our massive cafeteria got extra credit.

    I team up with this guy and we make a pretty decent balloon, though it was ugly as sin. Yellow, brown, bleh. At the last second, we decided to christen it. After much fighting we settled on the <b>Crash and Burn Bananamobile</b>. (Cue forboding music)

    So we go into our cafeteria (and this ceiling is HUGE) and our teacher sets up an O torch into a mount, lights it, and puts some sort of 'funnel' over it (so the flame wasn't directly blowing into the balloon).

    Group A goes, decent results. Group B, they got the ceiling. Group C, so-so.

    Then it's our turn. We set up over this burner and are holding each side. "On the count of three, Wendell... one... two... three!" I let go. He lets go. The balloon drops like a rock into the flame.

    Instead of a lesson in pressure and temperature, we take a dynamic turn and are now in a lesson about the sheer combustability of vast amounts of paper when applied to bare flame. Now there's this 12 foot pillar of flame melting a cafeteria table. Our teacher grabs the whole conflaguration and whips it onto the ground (This is the part where I began laughing so hard I cried... remember the name we gave that thing) and begins stomping it out. The bottle of oxygen goes flying off and begins melting a four inch long and one inch deep gash in the tile.

    So here's our teacher trying to stomp out this bonfire we made. Next thing I know, his PANTS are on fire, and instead of burning the cafeteria table, the linolum floor is faring MUCH worse for wear, turning black and curling.

    After a few seconds, with both the inferno and his pants extinguished, and the oxygen located, came the final blow.

    It's raining ash like it's a nuclear winter. The entire cafeteria had this fine mist of ash floating around the rest of the day, the ceiling tiles were stained, the table was ruined, the floor was burned to a crisp...

    I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. I had literally collapsed and was seeing stars trying to breathe.

    My god I can barely finish writing this...

    So later, we're talking to the teacher... he gave us extra credit because technically, the carbonized bits and pieces of our balloon did touch the ceiling.

    (I think we would've pulled the fire alarm if it didn't mean we had to evacuate and miss the whole aftermath)
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Join Date: 2003-08-05 Member: 18951Members
    edited December 2003
    omg uranium I cracked up like 6 times reading your story =P I dunno if you're an awesome storyteller or I'm just overtired or what... :>

    and Mullet, I had a similar experience a long long time ago... I was in like 7th grade and had gotten like no sleep the night before, or my blood sugar was low or something... and my latin teacher was telling me to read something out of the textbook, and I was like, "I can't," and he's like, "what do you mean, you can't," and I say, drearily, in a slur, "I dunno, my eyes is screwy." Then the whole class cracked up.
  • uranium_235uranium_235 Join Date: 2002-11-20 Member: 9478Banned
    It's the second week of Spanish and surprise surprise! Guess who looses his workbook! These workbooks... how shall we say... are important. They're homework. The teacher will assign a certain segment to do overnight, then she checks it.

    Two weeks into the semester mine's gone. I originally (honestly!) was going to buy a new one, but I never got around to that.

    I didn't do a single page of homework in that class.

    Eventually the teacher got around to skipping my desk entirely on homework collection, she's just walk right past.

    Then one day was the final straw: She literally came up to my desk and said:

    "Dave, in the name of all that is holy, is there any chance, whatsoever, that you'll ever do any homework in my class?"

    I just looked at her and said, "Nope."

    All I did in that class was goof off with my friend and teach each other dirty phrases in Spanish. And guess what? Second semester... same classroom, same hour, same teacher, with my friend again. She almost broke down and cried when we walked in that door.

    (PS: I passed with a B)
  • J_D_WJ_D_W Join Date: 2003-05-22 Member: 16598Members
    That one guy out of pop idol who can never stop saying "TAD".
    Also harry hill "What do you do when you start an archelogical dig?" (Clip of a man with a pickaxe and a duck blocking half of the camera) "Bludgeon a duck's head in!!"
    yeah i know its a TAD wierd, but you will get over it in a tad.
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