Caged Society
Geminosity
:3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
:3 Join Date: 2003-09-08 Member: 20667Members
in Discussions
<div class="IPBDescription">fear and apathy</div> I've been thinking alot about social habits, taboos and the problems of society and somethings starting to become apparent...
Whenever someone falls in a crowded street and hurts themselves, very few people will help; the vast majority react by not reacting at all. They simply walk past trying to block the event from their lives because it's simply too much hastle and they don't want to get involved.
This is the same reaction you'll get towards a violent arguement in public too: the vast majority will simply stay out of it and let the problem fester and resolve itself.
If you're lucky someone will call the police.
Every day, people 'interact' with each other; walking in the same streets, taking the same buses, waiting in the same queues yet what do we do with this dead time? Some people drift off into a haze of idle thoughts, some get irritated by the people around them and some simply get bored. Anybody breaking the taboo ingrained since childhood of talking to the strangers will immediately create feelings of annoyance, fear or bewilderment.
We live each day surrounded by people, yet we're alone. We often comment on how crime is bad, society is rotten, things should be done yet when crisis knocks at our door we bury our heads in the sand.
If people actively took to the realisation that 'society' was everyone <b>plus themselves</b> do you think things would improve?
Would people still commit acts of violence or crime in public if they knew everyone would stop them? Would people suffer so much from depression, anxiety, feelings of inferiority or social-problems if people just opened up? Would killers and psychopaths still be created by a society that truely learned to care like everyone was an actual human being with feelings, problems and emotions?
...or is it better that the mere sight of another human being doesn't bring us joy and can sometimes even only inspire fear, discomfort or hate? That whole buses, queues, rooms of people sit bored surrounded but alone with so many other idle minds? Is it really a good thing that in the case of a problem people will simply not help you or even call for help?
Am I nuts? Niave? or am I on to something here? ^^;
Whenever someone falls in a crowded street and hurts themselves, very few people will help; the vast majority react by not reacting at all. They simply walk past trying to block the event from their lives because it's simply too much hastle and they don't want to get involved.
This is the same reaction you'll get towards a violent arguement in public too: the vast majority will simply stay out of it and let the problem fester and resolve itself.
If you're lucky someone will call the police.
Every day, people 'interact' with each other; walking in the same streets, taking the same buses, waiting in the same queues yet what do we do with this dead time? Some people drift off into a haze of idle thoughts, some get irritated by the people around them and some simply get bored. Anybody breaking the taboo ingrained since childhood of talking to the strangers will immediately create feelings of annoyance, fear or bewilderment.
We live each day surrounded by people, yet we're alone. We often comment on how crime is bad, society is rotten, things should be done yet when crisis knocks at our door we bury our heads in the sand.
If people actively took to the realisation that 'society' was everyone <b>plus themselves</b> do you think things would improve?
Would people still commit acts of violence or crime in public if they knew everyone would stop them? Would people suffer so much from depression, anxiety, feelings of inferiority or social-problems if people just opened up? Would killers and psychopaths still be created by a society that truely learned to care like everyone was an actual human being with feelings, problems and emotions?
...or is it better that the mere sight of another human being doesn't bring us joy and can sometimes even only inspire fear, discomfort or hate? That whole buses, queues, rooms of people sit bored surrounded but alone with so many other idle minds? Is it really a good thing that in the case of a problem people will simply not help you or even call for help?
Am I nuts? Niave? or am I on to something here? ^^;
Comments
I remember a while back there was a TV show about a scientific investigation investigating this VERY THING. They had a man in a suit, sitting and looking very, very upset, messed up and crying on some steps on a main street. Most people passed him by, most not even looking at him. After about.... 5 hours i think it was, only 3 people stopped to help. They were told it was an experiment and such, but still... 3 people?
I think the main problem is fear. You just don't know what kind of person you're talking to. They could be looking all upset to lure you in, knife you and rob off with your cash. hey, it happens.
My mom witnessed a bus crash once. She stopped at the scene, called the police, and waited there for them to show up (it's the law). Then this old guy pulled up in his car and started ranting about how the bus was blocking his driveway (remember now, this bus had just smashed two cars clean off the road). My mom goes over to try and calm him down.... he winds the window down and breaks her collar bone (she's alright though, she didn't even realise it was broken until a few days later. She's got a very high pain threshold). You just don't know what you're getting into.
Sure, it would be great if everyone was open and helpful, but it just isn't going to happen. I know that if i see a fight, i steer clear of it. I'm a big guy, but a wimp, i don't like fighting at all. Then again, i tend to stay in all day (apart from school) so i don't really see much... stuff.
I am from NYC (to start things off with), and thus tend to see things like this alot.
I don't think your stupid, crazy or silly. Just overly optomistic about the human race (I am severy pesemistic about them, so take most of what I say with a large dolop of salt <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
So the first thing is just what Stick said. you never know whats gona hapen. Helping people out can often get you in trouble your self
who remembers the rumours that the bloods were getting people to stop by asking them what time it was.... then slashing them....
Its tales like those that cause people to not trust each other and not want to stick their necks out (cus after all if you don't stick it out no one can chop it off).
I every so often stop and help people, though not that often. I would not stop and 'help' some one crying on the steps of a building, mainly b/c there is nothing I could do... I don't know him, all I could do is be like "ummm, it will be ok.... yah...". Again useless.
However the other side of this is my GF, Who I have dubed the nicest person on earth. She will stop and help any one, She gives money to nearly every one who asks for it on the street (bah I hate them, I always feel like crap when I don't give them something, despite the fact that I am basicaly broke).
Again, if every one in the world stoped and helped the poor sap who just tripped, we would live in a better world.
I twill never hapen though, we just suck to much. (Yes I hate the human Race <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->)
There's so many people around you o.O
The fear partially comes with the knowledge that if someone did knife you in public you'd have a good chance of dying just due to people not helping in time, or even intercepting the situation before it got to that. Let's put it this way; if you felt like hitting someone, would you do it while he was surrounded by people who knew him and would therefore jump in to stop you and possibly hurt you in return? Meanwhile, you can quite happily hit someone in public without that same fear... and what little reservations there are quickly get overcome the first time someone gets away with it.
People quite often become the little jerks in baseball caps who smash stuff because they've learned they <b>can</b> get away with being thugs. A lot of anti-social behavour and even some violent tendances can come from bottled up emotion distress; something that doesn't happen as much with people who have an outlet or someone to confide in. I'm not saying my new take on living in society is perfect but tempered with a little common sense it looks far better to me than our current hypocritical but socially accepted stance of bemoaning our fate while doing nothing about it in a world of people who pretend they don't care because they don't want to be involved =P
One caved some ones skull in with a brick, in the midel of a streat (As I remember). No one DID anything to stop him b/c there was no warning or anything. Same deal with the second one where another crazy pushed some one infront of a train.....
Yah, remember that these are the stories we hear.
You don't hear about the cool dude who helped out my family by getting my dad some crushed boxes to lie on and some wire to reatach the muffler to our car....
To ramble on to another point:
There are a few studies on things like this:
1) The Crowd Mentality:
Basicaly the more people there are the more most people feel that some one else will do something (Sad, but true)
2) And experament that involved a person being put in controll of a device that game a person electric shoks.
The persons instructions were to give the person a shock for every incorect ans and ever few wrong answers to turn up the power (it was alabeled and explained what each level would do)
Most people continued to the point that would kill a person.
Of course there were no shocks, the screams they heard were simply an actor pretending to be given each level of shock (eventualy the actor plays dead)
Yah, humans are scary.
3) The Prison Test:
Basicaly take a bunch of college student. some are delgated as Inmates and some as guards.
They are trhen set into a scenario where the Guards are incharge.
Every time this test has been run it has ben cut short due to the 2 groups getting severly violent with each other.
Perople realy scare me. Why am I suposed to be willing to aproach one I don't know?
Again, I am simply trying to point out WHY people are often affraid. I am not saying that it is correct behavior, Iwould love to live in a world where every one would stop and help. Bt I don't, and thus I try and be as good as I can in a messed up world ;(
in the 'electric' experiment the people were told repeatedly that everything was safe and fine. The experiment was to see if their judgement would overule what the psychologists were telling them was ok. Basically a kinda 'morality over authority' if you want... the psychologist would constantly reassure them things were fine =P
The prison thingy also basically worked within a structure; the guards and prisoners had very opposing roles to fufil and once again it comes down to 'stepping in'. Once the guards realised they could get away with beating the prisoners things started getting ugly mixed with the corruption of power =/
I've seen some pretty brutal things thanks to the less desirable parts of edinburgh's population but I've still yet to be really attacked outside of stuff I could see coming and acted stupidly about anyways. If you keep a pro-active and positive view but spice it with a little wisdom and well-placed caution it works; your GF's still safe and well after all, right? <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo-->
However for the 'electric experiment I seem to remember that, Yes they were instructed to increase the power, It was also made very clear just what each shock would be doing... (goes looking around for the psych book)
wow, quick google (shocks experiment psychology) pulled it up <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
Either the prof was explaining it wrong (very possible, the entire class was not very good) or I just don't remember properly.
Oh well...
Bah, I realy gota stop posting in the discusion forum, I have gotten too stupid as of late (having a hard time making my posts legibel, yeash sorry <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->)
As for living in a big town, you really should arm yourself. Pistols are fun to plink around with at a target range, and can save your/someone else's butt when the stuff hits the fan. Just remember to use commen sense when using them and your good to go. It really is bad that guns are labeled as evil... while people dont realise that people are the problem. I live in a tiny town in wisconson, and i cant wait till i get out of school and get a stable job so i can start collecting firearms... they truely are incredible tools.
never forget a gun is a killing machine. (without wanting to be too patronising) lets say that again and think about its implications, a machine designed with the <i> sole </i> purpose of killing another person. <i>killing someone</i>.
[/offtopic]
secondly, gem, I think your onto somthing here. People DO treat others with no respect/ humanity beacause of ingrained teachings of 'strangers = bad', and it kills societies.
I myself am very aware that I have always seen myself as someone apart from society, someone seperate from the 'majority of people out there' (I beleive this to be part of my upbringing rather than some facile teenager 'aloneness') So your comments about society being everyone <i> plus oneself </i> seems very meaningful to me.
more and more im coming to the conclusion that our whole way of life is fundamentally flawed in so many ways, perhaps ill go live on a beach somewhere far away...
They're only dangerous if the person on the other end is inept or homicidal. If you own one, it's your duty to be safe and learn how to handle it properly.
//
I think part of the reason at least for me is experience. My roommate and I hospitalized a guy who was beating the hell out of his girlfriend with a car antenna (he ripped it off her car). Long story short, we almost got sent up-river ourselves. I think the powers that be saw the photos taken of her on scene and decided, if anything, that we didn't do enough.
If I saw something like it again, I'd probably react the same way but I know for sure that I would hesitate in lighter situations.
It's not that people "can't be bothered" (usually) it's that they have the notion it will be taken care of anyways.
I still can't get used to all the people, all the different people actually. Its overwhelming, so overwhelming that I think I have a major case of social anxiety disorder because of it. Im too scared to go out and meet new people anymore, Im always alone, and large crowds make me nervous. I have a shotgun in my apartment, its not loaded (but nobody else knows that), but if worse comes to worse I could beat somebody with it.
One day, I was alking back from class, and I walked past two girls. They were standing talking to each other, and I looked at them, they looked at me, I smiled and nodded my head, didn't say anything, and kept walking. Next thing I know, one of them comes running up behind me, hits me on the back, and goes "TAG!! YOUR IT!!" and runs away. Now, I had no idea what to make of this or what to do, so I turned around, smiled and said "Don't make me drop this bookbag and come chasing after you" They were laughing, I laughed, but continued walking away. That was a good chance to meet new people, but why did I walk away, was it fear? I mean, they are only human, but something inside me didn't want to have a conversation with them, or anybody else it seems like.
My psychiatrist won't prescribe me any medication, she says im not that bad, but behavorial modification isn't helping either, so what do I do?
As for me, i'm one of those nice guys. Usually i'll try and help people if I can, but i'm almost always in a rush somewhere. However, if someone is physically hurt, i'd stay.
Just the other night, I was at a theater. The way out has a sudden step and this 60 year old woman tripped. If she hadn't immediately gotten up and stood back up I would have come over and offered any help.
and Gem, another thing is that a lot of people get insulted if you ask them for help, because they want to solve it on their own.
Which is why I <3 you guys, cuz y'all help me regardless of stupidity.
I try to be nice to. I put money in the little red salvation army cans, I hold open doors for the elderly, etc....
I was raised to do good things, but its hard to do good things when your scared of social interaction. This is just me though.
And smoke, damn you, Im a weekend alcoholic, get it right <!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo--> It does however let my defenses down, and I have made alot of new friends since I started drinking....not to mention alot of female friends (just friends, I have learned to be friends first, then move on later)
Besides, it's not always like that. Sometimes people will walk on by, sometimes they won't. For example, someone fell off a motorbike on the road outside my flat. People broke off from waiting at the bus stop etc. and came to help. Seems small, I know, but to me, it's just means that although noone shows it, they will try to help if they can.
In first place I try to be "a nice person" in general.. holding open doors for other people, giving a few cents to the musicians on the street (if i can spare them...), try to answer questions if I can and so on.
However if it comes to things like helping somebody that has fallen, it's like an "profiler" in my mind checking if I should help.
There are many factors that decide within a second if I offer my help.
Does the person look like I can trust him?
Is it an emergency situation?
Is it dangerous?
Can I get into trouble?
Are other people around?
And a lot of other things...
Another important thing is, that people do not help others because they see that help is needed.
People help others to feel better!
If you give money to a wellfare organisation, you do that to be satisfied with yourself.
You are like "I am a good person. I gave money to those people. Yes, I'm a really nice person".
Personally I don't like people.
I have few friends and are not good at making new ones (but at least I can really trust the few friends I have, wich is important to me).
Maybe it's simply being affraid of strangers, not knowing how they will react...
In general I've seen so many people do so many bad things that I trust few people.
And maybe that's another reason why, although being a kind and nice person in general, I may hesitate to help somebody if there is a slight sign that I may get in trouble myself by doing so.