This Guy Deserves A Medal
<div class="IPBDescription">Revenge on the telemarketers!</div> Was reading through various news sites and came across this gem:
<a href='http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/6934584.htm' target='_blank'>http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/livin...rry/6934584.htm</a>
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I've been writing columns for a long time now, two or three centuries at least. I've written on topics that touched a nerve among you readers -- the moronic-TV-commercials nerve, the loud-cell-phone-talkers nerve, and of course the low-flow-toilet nerve. I even touched -- and I regret this deeply -- the Barry Manilow nerve.
But I've never touched a nerve like the one I touched when I wrote about telemarketers. To review: In August, I wrote a column about the National Do Not Call Registry, which allows you to go to an Internet site (www.donotcall.gov) and register your phone number. The plan is that most telemarketers would then be prohibited from calling you.
The Do Not Call Registry is wildly popular with the human public. More than 50 million households have signed up. This displeases the telemarketing industry, which believes it has a constitutional right to call people who do not want to be called. Several telemarketing groups have filed lawsuits to block the registry.
So in my August column, I printed the toll-free telephone number of one of these groups, the American Teleservices Association. My thinking was: Hey, if the ATA feels its members have a constitutional right to call you, then surely the ATA feels that you have an equally constitutional right to call the ATA.
Well.
It turned out that a lot of you were eager to call up the telemarketing industry. Thousands and thousands of you called the ATA. I found out about this when I saw an article in a direct-marketing newspaper, the DM News, which quoted the executive director of the ATA, Tim Searcy. Here's an excerpt from the article:
''The ATA received no warning about the article from Barry or anyone connected with him,'' Searcy said. ``. . . the Barry column has had harmful consequences for the ATA. An ATA staffer has spent about five hours a day for the past six days monitoring the voice mail and clearing out messages.''
That's correct: The ATA received NO WARNING that it was going to get unwanted calls! Not only that, but these unwanted calls were an INCONVENIENCE for the ATA, and WASTED THE ATA'S TIME!
I just hope nobody interrupted the ATA's dinner.
Anyway, you can imagine how I felt. I would have called the ATA myself to express my feelings, but the ATA finally had to disconnect its phone number.
Really.
I myself received approximately seven billion phone calls, letters and e-mails on this topic. About 99 percent came from consumers who are wildly enthusiastic about the idea of calling telemarketers. Many of these consumers wanted me to publish more telemarketers' numbers, including residential numbers. As one e-mailer put it: ``I think we should call them at home and try to sell them the idea of not calling people at home.''
The other 1 percent of the response came from people in the telemarketing industry, who pointed out that I am evil vermin scum, and -- even worse -- a member of the news media. Their main arguments are that (a) telemarketers are hardworking people, and (b) if they're not allowed to call people who don't want to be called, telemarketing jobs could be lost, and the U.S. economy would suffer. Tim Searcy of the ATA was quoted in The Los Angeles Times as saying that the impact of the Do Not Call Registry would be (I did not make this quote up) ''like an asteroid hitting the earth.'' Yes. An asteroid!
As I write these words, lawyers and politicians and lobbyists and judges are swarming all over the telemarketing issue, so I don't know what the legal status of the Do Not Call registry will be when you read this column. But it appears that the telemarketers plan to continue their efforts to save the planet by fighting for the right to call people who do not want to be called.
I realize that this makes many of you angry. I realize that many of you would like to, once again, let the telemarketers know how you feel. And I am, frankly, tempted to reveal to you here that the American Teleservices Association (www.ataconnect.org/) seems to have a phone line working (at least for now) at 317-816-9336.
But would it be right to reveal this? I mean, yes, you could call the ATA again. But the ATA surely doesn't WANT you to call again. It's inconvenient! And to insist on calling somebody who doesnt want to be called, even if you have the legal right to call, well, that's just plain rude.
So I am taking the high road.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Got no idea who the guy is but it certainly was a classy tactic <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
<a href='http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/6934584.htm' target='_blank'>http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/livin...rry/6934584.htm</a>
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I've been writing columns for a long time now, two or three centuries at least. I've written on topics that touched a nerve among you readers -- the moronic-TV-commercials nerve, the loud-cell-phone-talkers nerve, and of course the low-flow-toilet nerve. I even touched -- and I regret this deeply -- the Barry Manilow nerve.
But I've never touched a nerve like the one I touched when I wrote about telemarketers. To review: In August, I wrote a column about the National Do Not Call Registry, which allows you to go to an Internet site (www.donotcall.gov) and register your phone number. The plan is that most telemarketers would then be prohibited from calling you.
The Do Not Call Registry is wildly popular with the human public. More than 50 million households have signed up. This displeases the telemarketing industry, which believes it has a constitutional right to call people who do not want to be called. Several telemarketing groups have filed lawsuits to block the registry.
So in my August column, I printed the toll-free telephone number of one of these groups, the American Teleservices Association. My thinking was: Hey, if the ATA feels its members have a constitutional right to call you, then surely the ATA feels that you have an equally constitutional right to call the ATA.
Well.
It turned out that a lot of you were eager to call up the telemarketing industry. Thousands and thousands of you called the ATA. I found out about this when I saw an article in a direct-marketing newspaper, the DM News, which quoted the executive director of the ATA, Tim Searcy. Here's an excerpt from the article:
''The ATA received no warning about the article from Barry or anyone connected with him,'' Searcy said. ``. . . the Barry column has had harmful consequences for the ATA. An ATA staffer has spent about five hours a day for the past six days monitoring the voice mail and clearing out messages.''
That's correct: The ATA received NO WARNING that it was going to get unwanted calls! Not only that, but these unwanted calls were an INCONVENIENCE for the ATA, and WASTED THE ATA'S TIME!
I just hope nobody interrupted the ATA's dinner.
Anyway, you can imagine how I felt. I would have called the ATA myself to express my feelings, but the ATA finally had to disconnect its phone number.
Really.
I myself received approximately seven billion phone calls, letters and e-mails on this topic. About 99 percent came from consumers who are wildly enthusiastic about the idea of calling telemarketers. Many of these consumers wanted me to publish more telemarketers' numbers, including residential numbers. As one e-mailer put it: ``I think we should call them at home and try to sell them the idea of not calling people at home.''
The other 1 percent of the response came from people in the telemarketing industry, who pointed out that I am evil vermin scum, and -- even worse -- a member of the news media. Their main arguments are that (a) telemarketers are hardworking people, and (b) if they're not allowed to call people who don't want to be called, telemarketing jobs could be lost, and the U.S. economy would suffer. Tim Searcy of the ATA was quoted in The Los Angeles Times as saying that the impact of the Do Not Call Registry would be (I did not make this quote up) ''like an asteroid hitting the earth.'' Yes. An asteroid!
As I write these words, lawyers and politicians and lobbyists and judges are swarming all over the telemarketing issue, so I don't know what the legal status of the Do Not Call registry will be when you read this column. But it appears that the telemarketers plan to continue their efforts to save the planet by fighting for the right to call people who do not want to be called.
I realize that this makes many of you angry. I realize that many of you would like to, once again, let the telemarketers know how you feel. And I am, frankly, tempted to reveal to you here that the American Teleservices Association (www.ataconnect.org/) seems to have a phone line working (at least for now) at 317-816-9336.
But would it be right to reveal this? I mean, yes, you could call the ATA again. But the ATA surely doesn't WANT you to call again. It's inconvenient! And to insist on calling somebody who doesnt want to be called, even if you have the legal right to call, well, that's just plain rude.
So I am taking the high road.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Got no idea who the guy is but it certainly was a classy tactic <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
Comments
<a href='http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/6934584.htm' target='_blank'>http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/livin...rry/6934584.htm</a>
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->I've been writing columns for a long time now, two or three centuries at least. I've written on topics that touched a nerve among you readers -- the moronic-TV-commercials nerve, the loud-cell-phone-talkers nerve, and of course the low-flow-toilet nerve. I even touched -- and I regret this deeply -- the Barry Manilow nerve.
But I've never touched a nerve like the one I touched when I wrote about telemarketers. To review: In August, I wrote a column about the National Do Not Call Registry, which allows you to go to an Internet site (www.donotcall.gov) and register your phone number. The plan is that most telemarketers would then be prohibited from calling you.
The Do Not Call Registry is wildly popular with the human public. More than 50 million households have signed up. This displeases the telemarketing industry, which believes it has a constitutional right to call people who do not want to be called. Several telemarketing groups have filed lawsuits to block the registry.
So in my August column, I printed the toll-free telephone number of one of these groups, the American Teleservices Association. My thinking was: Hey, if the ATA feels its members have a constitutional right to call you, then surely the ATA feels that you have an equally constitutional right to call the ATA.
Well.
It turned out that a lot of you were eager to call up the telemarketing industry. Thousands and thousands of you called the ATA. I found out about this when I saw an article in a direct-marketing newspaper, the DM News, which quoted the executive director of the ATA, Tim Searcy. Here's an excerpt from the article:
''The ATA received no warning about the article from Barry or anyone connected with him,'' Searcy said. ``. . . the Barry column has had harmful consequences for the ATA. An ATA staffer has spent about five hours a day for the past six days monitoring the voice mail and clearing out messages.''
That's correct: The ATA received NO WARNING that it was going to get unwanted calls! Not only that, but these unwanted calls were an INCONVENIENCE for the ATA, and WASTED THE ATA'S TIME!
I just hope nobody interrupted the ATA's dinner.
Anyway, you can imagine how I felt. I would have called the ATA myself to express my feelings, but the ATA finally had to disconnect its phone number.
Really.
I myself received approximately seven billion phone calls, letters and e-mails on this topic. About 99 percent came from consumers who are wildly enthusiastic about the idea of calling telemarketers. Many of these consumers wanted me to publish more telemarketers' numbers, including residential numbers. As one e-mailer put it: ``I think we should call them at home and try to sell them the idea of not calling people at home.''
The other 1 percent of the response came from people in the telemarketing industry, who pointed out that I am evil vermin scum, and -- even worse -- a member of the news media. Their main arguments are that (a) telemarketers are hardworking people, and (b) if they're not allowed to call people who don't want to be called, telemarketing jobs could be lost, and the U.S. economy would suffer. Tim Searcy of the ATA was quoted in The Los Angeles Times as saying that the impact of the Do Not Call Registry would be (I did not make this quote up) ''like an asteroid hitting the earth.'' Yes. An asteroid!
As I write these words, lawyers and politicians and lobbyists and judges are swarming all over the telemarketing issue, so I don't know what the legal status of the Do Not Call registry will be when you read this column. But it appears that the telemarketers plan to continue their efforts to save the planet by fighting for the right to call people who do not want to be called.
I realize that this makes many of you angry. I realize that many of you would like to, once again, let the telemarketers know how you feel. And I am, frankly, tempted to reveal to you here that the American Teleservices Association (www.ataconnect.org/) seems to have a phone line working (at least for now) at 317-816-9336.
But would it be right to reveal this? I mean, yes, you could call the ATA again. But the ATA surely doesn't WANT you to call again. It's inconvenient! And to insist on calling somebody who doesnt want to be called, even if you have the legal right to call, well, that's just plain rude.
So I am taking the high road.
<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Got no idea who the guy is but it certainly was a classy tactic <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
ROFL!
Let this strike signify the soon fall of the capitalist greed mongers. (I just called them by the way <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> )
Let this strike signify the soon fall of the capitalist greed mongers. (I just called them by the way ) <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
LOL, what did they say? <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
And he still hasn't found a dictionary.....
Let this strike signify the soon fall of the capitalist greed mongers. (I just called them by the way ) <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
LOL, what did they say? <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.natural-selection.org/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
"Our system is currently under heavy traffic, please call again."
WHY ON GOD'S GREEN BLOODY EARTH DO YOU NEED TO QUOTE AN ENTIRE BLOODY POST!?
There are no limits to idiocy.
Cool article though.
--Scythe--
Because he's communist?
they got his work/home phone
and adress (e-mail too)
and about 1,000,000 people spammed them all
and to top it off the sighned him up for .... all kinds of wrong things
And he still hasn't found a dictionary..... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hey smart one, Dave Barry is a humorist who writes sydicated columns for USA newspapers.
I think he knows how to speak better than you do.
hes only trying to make a point
people dont write columns for centuries.
i think he is exaggerating a bit
And he still hasn't found a dictionary..... <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hey smart one, Dave Barry is a humorist who writes sydicated columns for USA newspapers.
I think he knows how to speak better than you do. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=century' target='_blank'>Century</a> Vs <a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=decade' target='_blank'>Decade</a>
And the term is satirist.
If he wanted to satire century he sould have done so when he was doing the 'nerve' examples. It is not linked to any other part of the article or the following sentence, thus I thought it was out of place... and it shouldn't be in there IMO....
Don't mess with me, cause I'll argue with you over the internet ;p
Thems fightin words <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
I'm cynical, it's what I do.
-_-
I'm cynical, it's what I do.
-_- <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
stating the obvoius are we?
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
edit: nobody analyzing my post? r<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>ae</span>lly ... pfft i thought someone would see that...
I'm cynical, it's what I do.
-_- <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
stating the obvoius are we?
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
edit: nobody analyzing my post? r<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>ae</span>lly ... pfft i thought someone would see that... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Recnet sutdies hvae sowhn taht, etc, etc.
?_?
Yes I think I covered my arse well there....
I'm cynical, it's what I do.
-_- <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
stating the obvoius are we?
<!--emo&:p--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/tounge.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
edit: nobody analyzing my post? r<span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>ae</span>lly ... pfft i thought someone would see that... <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Recnet sutdies hvae sowhn taht, etc, etc.
?_?
Yes I think I covered my arse well there.... <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
whaetevr
Wlel anwyyas... oh sorry
On-topic, this guy rules. I think I'm going to call the ATA later today. The ATA was being pretty hypocritical too (as was pointed out.) All the do is call people unexpectedly, and then they complain when they get unwanted calls.
aren't fate and irony oh so cruel?
eh, you reap what you sow
And he still hasn't found a dictionary..... <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
Hey smart one, Dave Barry is a humorist who writes sydicated columns for USA newspapers.
I think he knows how to speak better than you do. <!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=century' target='_blank'>Century</a> Vs <a href='http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=decade' target='_blank'>Decade</a>
And the term is satirist.
If he wanted to satire century he sould have done so when he was doing the 'nerve' examples. It is not linked to any other part of the article or the following sentence, thus I thought it was out of place... and it shouldn't be in there IMO....
Don't mess with me, cause I'll argue with you over the internet ;p <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
Wrong. HE'S A HUMORIST. God dang it. He uses farces and purposly makes outragous mistakes as a form of wit. Everything you read from him is on purpose.
Obviously he couldn't be writing for 2 or 3 centries, DUH!!! OLOLOLOL!! No crap! The point is, he's getting old, and he's making fun of himself! He's also making a point in his essay of how telemaketer's have been around forever!
Don't mess with me, because I've done my research. I read this guy's column's from my daily newspaper all the time.
<a href='http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/' target='_blank'>http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/livin...sts/dave_barry/</a>
for more Dave Barry goodness. He also has two novels out, <i>Big Trouble</i> and <i>Tricky Business</i> that are just hilarious. Though if you have trouble understanding exageration, sarcasm, and other forms of humor, you might want to steer clear.
Will gladly spam like hell.