Adventures In Coil-land
coil
Amateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance. Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
Amateur pirate. Professional monkey. All pance. Join Date: 2002-04-12 Member: 424Members, NS1 Playtester, Contributor
<div class="IPBDescription">or, coil tries to make some $$</div> I offered to help my mother's boss (herein called "Ann") set up two new computers for her children, a 10-year-old boy and a 16-year-old girl. The computers were
<b>For the girl: Dell Latitude laptop, Pentium II 400MHz, 128MB RAM, Windows 98
For the boy: PowerMac G3 300MHz, 72MB RAM, OS 9.1</b>
<i>(Aside: she told me that her son was very excited to be getting his own computer. I was a little surprised at this, because it's a Mac - and an old one, at that. The computer has about enough juice to surf the 'net and write a paper... and that's it. When I was his age, I was already gaming on the 'net. Little did I realize that his lack of computer knowledge was a vicious portent of things to come.)</i>
She wanted each computer to have some kind of Office software on it, and wanted to connect them to their "home computer" in a network. I went and looked at the computers, and suggested a wireless network. Based on what I could get for cheap and what the computers were capable of running, I took the two machines home with me and did the following:
<b>Dell: updated Win98 with all applicable updates from microsoft.com. Installed OfficeXP Pro and Norton Antivirus. Replaced 56k/fax modem PCMCIA card with a sleek, sexy linksys wireless ethernet PCMCIA card.
Mac: determined it couldn't handle OSX. Installed AppleWorks 6 (word processing and spreadsheet budget software) and Norton Internet Protector 3.0. As it already had an internal ethernet modem, I bought a fairly snazzy linksys wireless ethernet bridge to connect it to the network.</b>
The last bit was, of course, a Linksys wireless router to hook up to their cable modem, to which I would connect their home computer. I configured the two computers and set them up for the network at my house, then brought them and the networking equipment back to Ann's house. I set the router up and tested the two wireless connections - piece o' pie, worked like a dream. Then I sat down at their home PC, running Windows XP Home, to configure it to reach the Internet through a router.
<i>(Before I begin, quick background: both Ann and her husband make quite a bit of money. Neither of them uses the home computer, as they bring work-supplied laptops home with them and work on those. This computer only gets used by the two kids.)</i>
Hoo boy.
I should have known I was in trouble when I saw three AOL-related shortcuts (one of which was AOL 9.0 itself) and one AOL-related folder on the 800x600, 17" desktop. No problem, says I. I put the router installation disk in the drive. It didn't auto-play, so I opened My Computer and double clicked the DVD drive. It asked me to insert a disk. Oooook. I re-inserted the disk and tried again. No dice. I took the disk out and pressed the tray-open button on their second CD-ROM drive, which I presumed was a CD-RW drive. It didn't open.
...
Ok! So what's the first thing you do when hardware doesn't work? I rebooted and winced at the proudly displayed "Compaq" splash screen. It took better than <b>six or seven minutes</b> to shut down and start back up. Not only that -- when I selected a user name from the login list, it took a full <b>two minutes</b> to load the desktop. On loading said desktop, McCaffe VirusScan pops up to say it's damaged, and I should reboot using a recovery disk, run a virus scan, and then uninstall and reinstall McCaffee. Hoo boy. First thing I did was check the processor/RAM -- The machine was a Celeron 400MHz with 128MB of RAM (on asking, I learned it was 5 years old), and they had it chugging away on WinXP? Oy.
So, bad choices, maybe some viruses, but not my problem. Back to the router. I put the disk in again... and again, it doesn't work. The CD-RW drive still won't open, either. Ann's husband comes up with his son, and I mention the hardware problem. The son immediately pipes up with the fact that it's been happening for some time. ... ...You'd think he would have *told* his parents, so they could *fix* it. Yeah. Anyway, Plan B: I open Internet Explorer to download the necessary software from linksys.com.
What a mistake THAT was. The homepage is currently set to "a-znudecelebrities.com" or something (which, my friend told me, is actually a nasty spyware site), and McCaffee starts popping up warning messages like they're going out of style. After quarantining and deleting five or six nasties, I end-tasked Internet Explorer.
I opened the Internet Settings control panel, cleared the homepage, deleted cookies, deleted files, and cleared the history. Re-open IE to blissful white space, "about:blank," and load up Google.com. A pop-up appears, which I close. I enter a search query and two more pop-ups appear, one of which starts spawning pop-ups of its own. I navigate to www.lavasoftusa.com (close pop-ups), to their download page (close pop-ups), and download Ad-Aware 6.0. Close IE (close pop-ups), install Ad-Aware. Run Ad-Aware.
Shortly after I start the system scan, I realize my results would have been even funnier if I hadn't cleared cookies and the Internet cache already. Ah well. I watch the spyware/adware count climb. When it finally finishes, I call Ann and ask her to bring her son up with her. "See that?" I say. "That's 325 nasty things that shouldn't be on your computer, not including viruses, which I think you may have as well." These 325 nasties included:
<b>1) 5 running processes. (five! FIVE!)
2) ~130 registry keys
3) ~70-80 registry values
4) ~110 files
5) 9 folders (nine!)</b>
At this point, I'm an hour past the time I'd planned to be gone from their house, network happily set up and humming along, and I can't even get to the Internet through the router. Why? Because though they have Cox high-speed internet (cable access), they still use AOL as their ISP, and I'm not familiar with setting up AOL to work with a router (if it's even possible), because anyone savvy enough to want a network in their house is savvy enough to know that AOL is a piece of flaming crap.
So I made the best of the time I had left, since I had to be on my way. I explained what they could and couldn't do with their two new computers (the laptop and the mac). I explained what they should and shouldn't do with the home computer (i.e. HEY TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY, STOP DOWNLOADING PR0N!). And I'll be going back on Monday afternoon to essentially rip that computer's hard drive to shreds, clean it out with an industrial strength torch, and get it all clean and happy and FUNCTIONAL again.
On the bright side, I *do* get paid by the hour. (:
On the dim side... some people *really* shouldn't be allowed to own computers. And those people should *not* be allowed to let their kids use one, either.
<b>For the girl: Dell Latitude laptop, Pentium II 400MHz, 128MB RAM, Windows 98
For the boy: PowerMac G3 300MHz, 72MB RAM, OS 9.1</b>
<i>(Aside: she told me that her son was very excited to be getting his own computer. I was a little surprised at this, because it's a Mac - and an old one, at that. The computer has about enough juice to surf the 'net and write a paper... and that's it. When I was his age, I was already gaming on the 'net. Little did I realize that his lack of computer knowledge was a vicious portent of things to come.)</i>
She wanted each computer to have some kind of Office software on it, and wanted to connect them to their "home computer" in a network. I went and looked at the computers, and suggested a wireless network. Based on what I could get for cheap and what the computers were capable of running, I took the two machines home with me and did the following:
<b>Dell: updated Win98 with all applicable updates from microsoft.com. Installed OfficeXP Pro and Norton Antivirus. Replaced 56k/fax modem PCMCIA card with a sleek, sexy linksys wireless ethernet PCMCIA card.
Mac: determined it couldn't handle OSX. Installed AppleWorks 6 (word processing and spreadsheet budget software) and Norton Internet Protector 3.0. As it already had an internal ethernet modem, I bought a fairly snazzy linksys wireless ethernet bridge to connect it to the network.</b>
The last bit was, of course, a Linksys wireless router to hook up to their cable modem, to which I would connect their home computer. I configured the two computers and set them up for the network at my house, then brought them and the networking equipment back to Ann's house. I set the router up and tested the two wireless connections - piece o' pie, worked like a dream. Then I sat down at their home PC, running Windows XP Home, to configure it to reach the Internet through a router.
<i>(Before I begin, quick background: both Ann and her husband make quite a bit of money. Neither of them uses the home computer, as they bring work-supplied laptops home with them and work on those. This computer only gets used by the two kids.)</i>
Hoo boy.
I should have known I was in trouble when I saw three AOL-related shortcuts (one of which was AOL 9.0 itself) and one AOL-related folder on the 800x600, 17" desktop. No problem, says I. I put the router installation disk in the drive. It didn't auto-play, so I opened My Computer and double clicked the DVD drive. It asked me to insert a disk. Oooook. I re-inserted the disk and tried again. No dice. I took the disk out and pressed the tray-open button on their second CD-ROM drive, which I presumed was a CD-RW drive. It didn't open.
...
Ok! So what's the first thing you do when hardware doesn't work? I rebooted and winced at the proudly displayed "Compaq" splash screen. It took better than <b>six or seven minutes</b> to shut down and start back up. Not only that -- when I selected a user name from the login list, it took a full <b>two minutes</b> to load the desktop. On loading said desktop, McCaffe VirusScan pops up to say it's damaged, and I should reboot using a recovery disk, run a virus scan, and then uninstall and reinstall McCaffee. Hoo boy. First thing I did was check the processor/RAM -- The machine was a Celeron 400MHz with 128MB of RAM (on asking, I learned it was 5 years old), and they had it chugging away on WinXP? Oy.
So, bad choices, maybe some viruses, but not my problem. Back to the router. I put the disk in again... and again, it doesn't work. The CD-RW drive still won't open, either. Ann's husband comes up with his son, and I mention the hardware problem. The son immediately pipes up with the fact that it's been happening for some time. ... ...You'd think he would have *told* his parents, so they could *fix* it. Yeah. Anyway, Plan B: I open Internet Explorer to download the necessary software from linksys.com.
What a mistake THAT was. The homepage is currently set to "a-znudecelebrities.com" or something (which, my friend told me, is actually a nasty spyware site), and McCaffee starts popping up warning messages like they're going out of style. After quarantining and deleting five or six nasties, I end-tasked Internet Explorer.
I opened the Internet Settings control panel, cleared the homepage, deleted cookies, deleted files, and cleared the history. Re-open IE to blissful white space, "about:blank," and load up Google.com. A pop-up appears, which I close. I enter a search query and two more pop-ups appear, one of which starts spawning pop-ups of its own. I navigate to www.lavasoftusa.com (close pop-ups), to their download page (close pop-ups), and download Ad-Aware 6.0. Close IE (close pop-ups), install Ad-Aware. Run Ad-Aware.
Shortly after I start the system scan, I realize my results would have been even funnier if I hadn't cleared cookies and the Internet cache already. Ah well. I watch the spyware/adware count climb. When it finally finishes, I call Ann and ask her to bring her son up with her. "See that?" I say. "That's 325 nasty things that shouldn't be on your computer, not including viruses, which I think you may have as well." These 325 nasties included:
<b>1) 5 running processes. (five! FIVE!)
2) ~130 registry keys
3) ~70-80 registry values
4) ~110 files
5) 9 folders (nine!)</b>
At this point, I'm an hour past the time I'd planned to be gone from their house, network happily set up and humming along, and I can't even get to the Internet through the router. Why? Because though they have Cox high-speed internet (cable access), they still use AOL as their ISP, and I'm not familiar with setting up AOL to work with a router (if it's even possible), because anyone savvy enough to want a network in their house is savvy enough to know that AOL is a piece of flaming crap.
So I made the best of the time I had left, since I had to be on my way. I explained what they could and couldn't do with their two new computers (the laptop and the mac). I explained what they should and shouldn't do with the home computer (i.e. HEY TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY, STOP DOWNLOADING PR0N!). And I'll be going back on Monday afternoon to essentially rip that computer's hard drive to shreds, clean it out with an industrial strength torch, and get it all clean and happy and FUNCTIONAL again.
On the bright side, I *do* get paid by the hour. (:
On the dim side... some people *really* shouldn't be allowed to own computers. And those people should *not* be allowed to let their kids use one, either.
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
wouldn't know how to setup AOL with a router, buf if noboy else can help, PM me, and i'll hop on the AOL horn, and put out an APB on directions...
Learn something form the first half of MCSE training.... if software doesn't work... check hardware connections (power, ide, etc.) if hardware doesn't work.... replace it.
I was worried that people would flame me and say my post was pointless. Now I'm not so afraid. I got somebody worse than me. <!--emo&;)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wink.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wink.gif'><!--endemo--> no offense
EDIT: I was talkin bout red.
wow... I think the highest my Ad-Aware's ever gotten is 100~ and that wasafter I had installed it for the first time to try and get it running faster...
Can't fault the kid for succumbing to hormones though. (well, from most moral, and alot of societal standpoints ya can, but that's why pretty much everyone says to moniter your kids internet access...)
Good luck killing the horrible evils that must lurk within the bowels of that HDD though... And at least you get paid, I get volunteered... Although mine are usually "why won't [X-device] work with my system?"
Ah well, just remember the helmet, even if zee goggels do nothing. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/marine.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo-->
*opens ad-aware*
My "objects removed total" is 869. My new computer will have a firewall.
arrgh.
Hey it can be worse, I know this guy who installed XP on a 266 with SDRam so it could be worse <!--emo&:)--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/smile.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='smile.gif'><!--endemo--> (I think it was SDRam, might have been worse, if they still had EDO at that time <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->)
add: (omg five <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo--> Total of 325 <!--emo&:0--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/wow.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='wow.gif'><!--endemo--> )
I gotta take care of the family computer whenever I get home for breaks. It's gonna be so full of nasties.
But I feel for ya coil. maybe the CD-RW drive was being used as a cupholder?
The tray wouldn't even open. Scary.
It's only a day or so before he's ringing me up and saying he has problems >_<
Like... I love my grandfather and I know he means well, but I wanna know how the HELL he manages to do this crap... Right now he turns his PC on and 5 seconds later his monitor turns off... I've tried all methods I could think of for fixing it over the phone and it still doesn't work. It's a 2hr trip down to his house >_<
Arrr!
coil:
As far as getting AOL to connect through a router, from "expert setup" you can "use TCP/IP to connect" or something of that nature and AOL will work just fine. I use it behind NAT at home and at work without any problems or special setup.
good luck, you will need it
Defrag's on the schedule on Monday. Pray for me.
<!--QuoteBegin--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td><b>QUOTE</b> </td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'><!--QuoteEBegin-->As far as getting AOL to connect through a router, from "expert setup" you can "use TCP/IP to connect" or something of that nature and AOL will work just fine.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd-->
"Expert Setup" on the router or on AOL? My main concern is getting internet access on the two wireless connections -- preferably *without* having to put AOL on them. Or is it unavoidable?
(good luck with the Defrag <!--emo&:D--><img src='http://www.unknownworlds.com/forums/html/emoticons/biggrin.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->)
By the hour you say?
You lucky, lucky boy.
no. Sometimes you just HAVE to have windows, when other oses can't possibly work.
After 1 day of being completed and everything perfect, i get a call saying the video driver was messed up, turned out one of the secretarys changed the refresh rate and clicked yes somehow. Some people shouldnt be allowed to use a pc. I hope your adventure ends alright, now i just going to wait another day til i get another call for some stupid problem again.
1) Fix the CD-R drive.
2) Burn everything I liked to CD.
3) <span style='color:red'><i><b>WIPE!</b></i></span>
Alas, I have a feeling that figuring out what was and wasn't crap on that machine - in their eyes - would take longer than just cleaning it to the point of running like not-crap. So no format if I can help it.
The tray wouldn't even open. Scary. <!--QuoteEnd--> </td></tr></table><span class='postcolor'> <!--QuoteEEnd-->
first of all are u sure the drivers for the burner are installed? second are u sure one small gear inside didnt break off from somebodys hands?
this might help you with your first question
<a href='http://pub134.ezboard.com/fmacnightowlmessageboardfrm12.showMessage?topicID=390.topic' target='_blank'>How to Use AOL with Linksys</a>
computer stipidities and more
also, working at a p service shop we get those sorts of cases, when the computer finnally gets so bad that the person cant boot into windows they bring it in, we burn off their documents folder and format it for the princely sum of 100$, of course getting fresh win9x compatible drivers for the compaq's and hp's can be many hours of labor, so its worth it.
onto a helpful, on topic point, Coil, AOL over broadband is a service that requires an existing broadband connection. it is a subscription service that allows the nubs to get aol "features" with their broadband. therefore there will be a nice cable connection underneath it all, screw aol, you shouldnt have to install it on the two new compy's, in fact it would be easier with the user logon if you didnt.
Nice work, though, coil