Natural Selection 1.99



  • Hellfire1Hellfire1 Join Date: 2003-06-12 Member: 17321Members, Constellation
    Marineocide <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> (AKA. Suicide Bomber) <!--emo&::skulk::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='skulk.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo-->
    GORE!!!! Blood. Soldier Of Fortume style.
    Commander has the ability to kill n00bs or lamers. (would result in large scale lame) <!--emo&::nerdy::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='nerd.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Throwing knives <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Chest bursting of some sort.
    JPers recive damage if they fly up too fast and smash their heads on the roof <!--emo&:p--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
    Aliens carry SARS.
  • Twilight1Twilight1 Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17111Members
    oh well he doesnt need to fly he can BURNINATE ALL THE PEASANTS
  • sekdarsekdar Join Date: 2002-11-21 Member: 9564Members
    the marnines get a new wepon, the spaec warfaer magnim

    its a gient rifel wiht a hueg scoep taht kilsl ayn alein in oen shtot even if you shtoot tehm in teh ftoo
  • tapehandstapehands Join Date: 2002-11-01 Member: 1980Members
    edited June 2003 goes my complete 1.99x overhaul. <!--emo&::marine::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='marine.gif'><!--endemo-->


    uber-"elite" flamethrower with blinding powarzzzzzz because fire is just that cool. why the hell would you want to see anything other than fire/stuff that's on fire once you had the flame thrower?
    -secondary for flamethrower - the marine self-detonates, covering everything in the room with wonderful fire. everyone dies a horrid, flaming death. ahhh...

    new, improved, bdsm suit for the heavy armour - ever wish your HA was in a leather zipper mask with nipple clamps? NOW HE IS! scare that Onos to death by doing the freakiest shiz you ever dreamed of.

    super-bio-transformation - Remember those screenshots you used to take with your buddies? You know..those ones where the marines are all in lewd positions...well...start practicing! When you strike the proper pose, you turn into THE MARINE ORGY OF D00M!!!!! a hulking mass of guns, knives, and raging frontiersman hormones all rolled into a deadly ball of goo/machine.

    JP suicide - As discussed as a possible side-effect of typing in '/kill' in the console...the marine blows up. again, more fire and death ensues. Double fire & death ensues if the JPer happens to be carrying a flame thrower at the time of suicide.


    Servers will have a built in "Bury, Slay, Slap, Chickenize, Ban?" menu for a gorge's use whenever the gorge is mercilessly gunned down (or knifed) by a marine. Poor little gorges...

    Onos will now have an uber-xenocide, much akin to the marine nuke (taken out because the super-bio-transformation is already powerful enough). Spikes & acidic liquid flies everywhere. Everyone has a skin-meltingly good laugh.

    Skulk model will be replaced with a dog model (welsh corgi for all those interested in what breed). Skulks are man's best friend, after all.
    -Bite will be replaced with "Poo on the IP"
    -Parasite will be replaced with "Pee on the Armoury"
    -Leap will...err...stay the same. Just add muddy paws.
    -Xenocide will be replaced with "Poo, Pee, and Puke all at the same time, then curl up in a ball and die."

    Fades will be completely taken out and instead replaced with hardcore dancers from your local hardcore music scene. These dancers will successfully accomplish giving everyone a bloody nose, and are capable of flying from one side of the map to the other in less than five seconds.

    Lerks. I don't know. Let's move on, shall we?

    Sensory Chambers will now give marines that "creepy feeling" whenever they touch one. How would you like to touch a phallic-looking thing with little tentacles?
    Offense Chamber price reduced to 5. OCs now shoot mariah carey's "Glitter" on VHS.
    Movement Chambers now produce a Disco Ball? atmosphere, and play "Naked, Drunk, and Horny" (yellow note vs pukka) in order to really move the aliens. And maybe get some better screenshots of lewd happenings. But that's besides the point.

    Hive - the hive now can assimilate marines that try to knife/weld/hmg from on top. Assimilated technology can be produced by gorges.

    that's all i've got for now....
  • GlissGliss Join Date: 2003-03-23 Member: 14800Members, Constellation, NS2 Map Tester
    Just reply to <a href='' target='_blank'>this</a> one. It came first, not to mention it's funnier and has more replies.
  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Members
    You insult me sir! I challenge thee to a duel!

    O.k, the post that this one is a 'tribute' to (i.e, this post is not stolen. Not stolen at all. No.) is way funnier. Go reply to that one.

    Page 5? w00t! my post pwns all of u nubcaeks!
  • FreemantleFreemantle Join Date: 2002-06-16 Member: 783Members
    Don't forget the nuclear bombs aimed via etch-a-sketch and lego tecnic sets!
  • MonkfishMonkfish Sonic-boom-inducing buttcheeks of terrifying speed&#33; Join Date: 2003-06-03 Member: 16972Members
    you ppl crack me up <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Twilight1Twilight1 Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17111Members
    Aliens and marines would live in harmony and would be fighting the new stds that came between species. Those gorges always turned me on! <!--emo&:p--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Nil_IQNil_IQ Join Date: 2003-04-15 Member: 15520Members
    New unit: Lawyer

    The marines can attempt diplomacy with the aliens by sending a Lawyer to their hive. The Lawyer's 'attacks' will be:

    -Briefcase attack, 30 damage per hit (when diplomacy fails)
    -Negotiate, never works, but often useful as a distraction while you tech up to ha/hmgs
    -Sue, Lawyer can sue aliens for trespassing/assult/criminal damages which results in all the alien's res points going to the marines.
    -Lie, the Lawyer lies to the aliens, telling them the marine team is hacking. This results in everyone leaving the server, and the marines win by default.

    In order to utilise diplomats, you much research Armani suits in the same way as heavy armour, and for the same cost.

    Of course, only marines equipped with Armani suits can use the breifcase.

    Note that Lawyers cannot be killed by the Kharra, as they are smart enougth to know that Lawyers taste REALLY bad, and they would probably just get sued even more if they ate one.
  • DiscoDuckDiscoDuck Join Date: 2003-01-17 Member: 12393Members
    can we get some skulks with friggn laser beams on there heads?
  • policeunit7policeunit7 Join Date: 2003-06-12 Member: 17303Members
    edited June 2003
    You know I would really laugh my @$$ off if they take this into planning and make a little parody of NS where all the characters have no health and just sit there trying to pork and make little alien human hybrids that kick major ****! Oh ya they should make a treason mode where you can go through and betray the marines and become some hive queen or king that goes around like karagin(or whatever) in Starcraft, that would be pretty pimp. And if it hasn't been added yet the marines should get the "Ub3|2 5e19e c0nn0n" that shots tiny invisible nuclear war heads that are unharmful to marines and only "707aly" kill the aliens no matter where they hide. W00T go Uber Marines. And the hive should be controlled by gorges like someone already said and they should have organic nukes that kill everything but aliens so it would be like another big huge aliens vs. marines Cold War. W00T! <!--emo&::siege::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='siege.gif'><!--endemo-->

    One more thing TROGDOR ISN'T A FRIKING ALIEN! HE IS A FRIKKIN DRAGON FOR PETE'S SAKE! Oh ya and the ONOS should be the size of a gigantic battle ship that can completly kill that intire marine base with it's "full barage," and their should be an upgraded amount of hives like 11 or somthing like 77 so that you can get maximum hive ownage massacre mode that makes the hive teleport to the enemy base and continously spawn ONOS after ONOS or something like that. <!--emo&::siege::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='siege.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • Elite_GuardElite_Guard Join Date: 2002-11-29 Member: 10258Members
    The NS team will come under pressure from groups that want diversity.

    From now on there will be many marine models.

    White marine, marine with glasses, black marine, filipino marine, hispanic marine, old man marine, female marine, homosexual marine, marine in a weelchair, peg-legged marine, and of course marine with a speech impediment.
  • policeunit7policeunit7 Join Date: 2003-06-12 Member: 17303Members
    edited June 2003
    Don't forget the recently added "religous marine" pick between jewish, muslum, and more! <!--emo&::siege::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='siege.gif'><!--endemo-->

    HA HA
  • Twilight1Twilight1 Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17111Members
    Who said TROGDOR was an alien its just that he fits to the alien side better thatn marine.
    even tho he is a man err oh no wait he was a dragon man no, err no he was a DARAGON.
  • LockeLocke Join Date: 2002-11-17 Member: 9098Members, Constellation
    The Merine Cannon:

    Simply +use on your mate to pick him up

    Then fire him by leftclicking

    Watch the onos Run from a barrage of flying merines
  • SwampRatSwampRat Join Date: 2003-02-10 Member: 13369Members
    is it stackable? ie can u pickup and fire someone who has picked up and is about to fire someone else?
  • policeunit7policeunit7 Join Date: 2003-06-12 Member: 17303Members
    !RAWR! How 'bout we ask Strongbad what he thinks on which side Trogdor should be on! <!--emo&::siege::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='siege.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • NukE64NukE64 Join Date: 2003-03-11 Member: 14383Members
    Suggestions for NS 1.99:

    1. LSD weapon, shooting it at something gives that objects insane visuals alike an LSD trip.
    2. Donkey Kong as a playable alien class
    3. A Yu-Gi-Oh card game mode.......
    4. A homosexual marine soldier who has gaydar to pick up incoming flamers
    5. The option to torture your opponent rather than kill them. Ex: Marines can use a toothbrush and listerine, maybe a shower, on the aliens; Aliens have enema's for the marines
    6. Another marine class that is a little girl whos' weapon is puking up green pea soup
    7. and dont forget llamas..................
    8. Alien attack that turns any marine into a 7 year old with missing teeth, a cowboy outfit, and 6-shooter cap guns
    9. mini-me.............
  • Twilight1Twilight1 Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17111Members
    police unit id be glad to see what strongbad has to say on the subject of TROGDORS teambring it on <!--emo&:p--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • MeLeNkOMeLeNkO Join Date: 2003-04-06 Member: 15240Members
    1.99 GONNA RUEL GIVE ME 1.99 LOL
  • Twilight1Twilight1 Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17111Members
    lol its true 1.99 would rule all the marines shooting each other at the enemy and onos laser eyes and TROGDOR of course (for the aliens side) grr policeunit <!--emo&:p--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='tounge.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • policeunit7policeunit7 Join Date: 2003-06-12 Member: 17303Members
    That would blow dude not kick. It would be better if they made it fair and balanced<b> LIKE THEY SHOULD AND PROBABLY WILL!</b>
  • Twilight1Twilight1 Join Date: 2003-06-08 Member: 17111Members
    have u read this whole thread i reckon it would be pretty balanced <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->

    TROGDOR ownz all
  • HellSpawnHellSpawn Join Date: 2003-05-17 Member: 16415Members
    i gotz to level 16 in trogdor!!! 1.99
    there could be hover bikes!!...who doesnt want hoverbikes??
  • Pr0phecyPr0phecy Join Date: 2002-04-04 Member: 381Members
    edited June 2003
    And the new alien nuke gun!Yes!Its here!Its very choose slot #4...And click fire...Watch the following pictures to see how this amazing system works..You'll be so amazed ull fall off ur seat!

    Now look at this turret/cc farm...I mean an alien would have troubles in the past right!?....well times have changed my friend!

  • Pr0phecyPr0phecy Join Date: 2002-04-04 Member: 381Members
  • elimelim Join Date: 2002-11-17 Member: 9006Members, Constellation
    Someone has too much time on their hands... It was funny though, next time when downloading something I would highly suggest playing Yahoo Pool <!--emo&:D--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='biggrin.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • policeunit7policeunit7 Join Date: 2003-06-12 Member: 17303Members
    You know what !? I know the perfect upgrade for version 1.99! The NS team should make their own engine! One that closely models the HL2 one with equal grapics and wide map range. Oh yes and the map ns_nanc was removed from the map rotation because an alien battlecruiser (AkA Uber Onos) blasted it and whatever planet or station it was on. <!--emo&::siege::--><img src='' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='siege.gif'><!--endemo-->
  • SwampRatSwampRat Join Date: 2003-02-10 Member: 13369Members
    to balance trogdor out a bit - the marines should be able to train battle llamas. maybe make them a bit hard to control, but they'd also kick and spit at aliens randomly. also if someone on a llama goes afk, the llama takes over and tries to ruin the game, possibly by spawn camping and just scaring aliens generally.

    i think llamas are clearly superior to hover bikes etc. they probably wouldnt be combinable with ha tho, or you'd break the poor thing's back
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